twibooru.org · 3679071
First off: yes I know there's no Christmas commission this year and that makes me a little sad. Artists were surprisingly hard to get a hold of atm, and the artist I usually have to fall back on was...well, making this. And it took the better part of a _year_ to get this one back. XP
Secondly: I have some...mixed feelings on this piece now, but considering how long it took to make I'd be remiss to not upload it. I'll talk more about it bellow, right now: story context time.
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Like all the civilians working on the SEAF base, when the damn Squids invaded **SUPER EQUESTRIA**, **FeatherTrap** was handed a set of body armour and a gun, and told to do his part...
**Feather** of course, has been running around like a maniac in a blind panic, trying just to not get himself killed. He's a janitor doing his part for the cause by cleaning out the barracks - courtesy of the generous and right-minded appointment by the **Ministry of Employment** of course - invasion by an overwhelming, technologically superior force is not his idea of a routine shake-up...
...but in the midst of the chaos of war, he gets an unexpected boon...to meet his favourite hero: **DEATH CAPTAIN SHINING ARMOR**, of the **HELLDIVER CORPS!** The Stallion, the Myth, the Legend, in the flesh and showing his appreciation for _his_ new favourite trooper.
**Feather** insists that he's not actually a trooper, but he's doing his best not to disappoint his hero. Courage, as they say is not the absence of fear...besides, **Shiny** appreciates having someone half as good with the **P-11 Stim Pistol** watching his flanks.
"You've got spirit, boy. Who knows...maybe once they rebuild the training facility, we'll see if we can make a Cadet out of you."
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Art is by the supremely talented, incredibly patient and surprisingly affordable: [**TheWandie**](https://www.deviantart.com/thewandie), thank you for all your hard work! And for the rest of you, if you want _quality_ pony art that _won't_ cost a month's pay and your firstborn son, I cannot recommend her enough! :3
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**Okay...so the main body of this description __is a rant__. There's a little bit extra right at the bottom so, skip straight down to "Rant Over" with your search bar if you'd like to read that but...
For those who just wanted cool picture with some story context, credit to the artist and all...__this is over for you now__. __You can leave__.** v.v
For those of you who are staying to learn about the... **mixed feelings** about this piece - to put it **very lightly** - make yourself comfortable, grab a cuppa and some biscuits...this is going to be a long rant. XP
I had intended this to be made in say...a month or so, to commemorate the **Battle of SUPER EARTH** event that I took part in May of this year, with hopes that I'd be posting this around early July at latest...
So obviously, that didn't happen. In truth I only got this back in December, about a week out from Christmas. XP
Part of the reason I didn't post this earlier was because I was hoping I'd have _something_ ready to post on Christmas but that never came about sadly.
The other reason is well...my thoughts on this game have soured considerably in the months since.
It's no secret by this point that **ARROWHEAD** sold a version of the game at launch that no longer reflects what the game is now, and that they have a vision for it that is not only not particularly fun but - more importantly; is at odds with the baseline game mechanics that are inherent to the **HELLDIVERS** experience, making a game that is not only **not-fun**, but **infuriatingly** and **punishingly** so.
I remember in one of those interviews the devs have done over the last few months - I can't recall which one exactly.
But it was said, more or less to this effect:
> "Our vision of the game was that you are the utterly disposable canon fodder of the Evil Empire. When we were watching **STAR WARS; A New Hope**, we were watching the prison break scene on the Death Star and said 'What if we made a game where the player was that first stormtrooper the comes through the door and gets immediately shot by Han Solo?' That's the game we wanted to make"
Not the exact wording, but it was more or less to that effect...basically, their vision for the game is that you play [as this guy.](https://youtu.be/Co3rfXnuWiI?si=488TBKrfxM_Hp6rb&t=2)
This is often known among the community as the **Grunt Fantasy** talking point, and I'm not here to weigh in as to whether it should be a "**Grunt Fantasy**" or not (it shouldn't though, that's the correct answer) my actual complaint is that it's a __terrible__ **Grunt Fantasy**, on a strict game design level. The way the game is structured and the mechanics of the game are not properly tailored to providing this experience.
Not only is **HELLDIVERS II** no longer the amazing game it was at launch, and fast becoming a game that no-one wants, but
## It's also a __piss-poor__ representation of the game **ARROWHEAD** _claims_ they want to make as well.
The game in no-way is a fun or compelling version of the vision they claim is so integral to the game. The way they phrase it, we should be playing the fucking **SEAF Troopers**, in lobbies of 50 players or more!
And the reason is simple: the mechanics of their game are **NOT** in harmony with their stated theme.
If you don't know what that means, simple example here,
__This__ is the high praised opening sequence of **Battlefield One:** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnlW4y7YWFg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnlW4y7YWFg)
It's often considered by everyone who plays it to be the _best part_ of the game, especially in just selling the idea of the meat-grinder that was the Western Front in WWI. You might notice, that it has and does everything **ARROWHEAD** claims they want from their vision of **HELLDIVERS**.
And far from being hated or scorned, it's __praised__ for it, often considered the best part of the game
And this is simple: because the mechanics of this sequence work in concert with the story it's trying to tell
To create,
# CINEMA
(insert Martin Scorsese here)
The problem with **HELLDIVERS II** is that it wants the same praise and accolades that this scene gets, but the scope and mechanics of the game __do not support their vision _at all___.
> - You want each individual player to be a drone that has a very insignificant contribution on their own?
> Fine: make missions with up to 50 or more players in a single lobby.
>
> - You want each individual life and death to be cheap and disposable?
> Fine: __get rid of the finite lives counter__, find other way to create a failure state then just running out the reinforcement budget
>
> - You want the players to not be super special superheroes capable of defeating entire armies on their own?
> Then maybe __don't give each player their own individual super destroyer in orbit that they can use to call in death from above at will__.
## You _cannot_ design a game with mechanics which give inherit, intrinsic value to each individual life - even if just by making them finite - and then tell the player that frequent death __isn't supposed to matter__ and is part of the design bro. Y u mad, bro?
(insert annoying Sully-kids from James Cameron's Avatar here)
## That is _fundamentally dishonest_
If death doesn't matter, then you _need to make it not matter_. Find other failure states. I would suggest things like:
- Make objectives with timers: there's already an objective in the game where you have to intercept and kill a convoy of three Factory Striders _before_ they reach a pre-determined destination. More like that, with time pressure.
- Make objectives that need to be protected: **HELLDIVERS I** had these, like the fuel drilling station or the launch silo. These things had their own health bars and if they were depleted then you fail the mission.
- Make objectives that can be lost: Instead of just respawning a black box at the origin point if the player carrying it falls into a crevasse, then maybe that's just...mission failed, dumbass. In fact, we can go further: enemies can pick them up say, and bring them to dropships. If the dropship gets away with the black box, mission failed.
**HELLDIVERS II**, on a fundamental game design level, is simply __not equipped__ to accommodate "grunt fantasy". It isn't one,
Disposable grunts for the meat-grinder are **not** dropped in four-man teams complete with their own individual call ins for orbital support behind enemy lines. They are **not** given special arms and equipment to use at will, nor the distinct freedom to choose the theatre of war they will participate in.
___every mechanic___ of the game says that we are an elite squad, dropped into highly contested warzones and expected to come back not only successful, but with bodycounts in the hundreds. Each.
## But then the game balance says "**lul no, GIT FUKED**"
Since the developers like to cite "the stormtrooper who gets shot immediately by Han Solo" as a key example, take a gander at this scene here: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raF9wfPxir8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raF9wfPxir8)
So **ARROWHEAD** likes to picture us as that schmuck in the front at 0:04 seconds, or maybe that equally unlucky bastard at 0:16 seconds. Notice how many Stormtroopers are in each shot?
## more then FOUR at a time, aren't there?
You know what game is _actually_ a fun "grunt fantasy"?
## Planetside: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl8D0S-zq-w](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl8D0S-zq-w)
(yes I __know__ this is actually **Planetside 2**, don't @ me XP)
Just look at this snippet of **Planetside 2** - a game where you play one individual soldier among hundreds - literally hundreds. At time of writing, I think the current limit per server is 750 players per continent,
Look at the sheer scale of this battle...and keep in mind, this player is actually contributing very little on his own. But that's because the entire point of this game is that you are but one soldier among hundreds, your individual contribution is not supposed to be very significant, but rather you are part of a large battlegroup trying to push your faction's lines forward.
And in this game, __life is so cheap__ that __respawn__ is literally written into the game's lore. I'm serious, in **Planetside** lore, the planet they're on has some crazy alien technology on it, that has managed to link the mind and soul of every person on the planet, and whenever they die it will immediately transport them into a perfect replication of their body, without any injury. Each individual soldier is not just thrown into the meat grinder and then gone forever, they're literally brought back to life at base,
That's how cheap life is here, even in death you cannot escape this war. So as a result, death has no consequence other then making you go all the way back to base. XP
You know what's really embarressing here?
anyone remember
# **STARSHIP TROOPERS: Extermination**?
No of course you didn't, it came and went like that...certainly didn't help was that it's early access period was vastly overshadowed by **HELLDIVERS II** itself. I remember people laughing, saying:
## HELLDIVERS II IS THE REAL STARSHIP TROOPERS GAME
Well, you know what?
By **ARROWHEAD**'s own vision,
# **YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS WRONG, BUCKO!!**
because that game is a much, _much_ better vision of a "grunt fantasy" then **HELLDIVERS II** is: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLM27uDpT04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLM27uDpT04)
Again, notice how many players are in each lobby...a lot.
"Grunt fantasy" games are far greater in scope then **ARROWHEAD** seems either interested, or capable, of developing. Their game already struggles like a bitch to synch four players in a mission at once, they need dozens, if not hundreds to achieve their __stated__ intention.
**ARROWHEAD** did not create a grunt fantasy game, nor have they patched it into one.
They made a _fun as fuck_ Co-Op Sci-Fi Military Extraction shooter.
Which they have, over the last two years, patched into a tedious mess, full of terrible balancing, tanky enemies and riddled with bugs that range from game breaking, to **PC bricking**.
And whenever they are called to task for their shitty decisions, and the blinding ego that drives them, they keep excusing themselves with the endless refrain of:
## "**DUUUURR HELLDIVURS IZ SUPPOSED TAH BE**
# **GRUUUUUNT FHANTAZEEEE!!**"
**HELLDIVERS II** will __never__ be fixed, not by **ARROWHEAD**.
because fundamentally;
## **ARROWHEAD** thinks it ain't broke
This isn't a bug, it's a feature.
And _why_ have they done all of this? Why this insistence on the "grunt fantasy", the terrible **Dark Souls II** game balancing of "just kill the player every 30 seconds, I don't care how contrived it is or unfair the game gets, JUST DO IT!!". Why the insistence?
# Salt. Let's all just face it, **ARROWHEAD** are salty bitches because they have shit-Lib political takes who can't except that The Bush Administration was decades ago now.
Stop coping, accept truth. It's not complacency on **ARROWHEAD**'s part, it's sheer, insufferable arrogance.
They - purely by accident - created a Masterpiece,
And because that Masterpiece doesn't fit with the developers vision of:
> "A game where you play Stormtrooper #B2156 who's the first through the door and gets immediately shot by Han Solo"
They _hate_ it, it's success and most of all, it's _players_. Just in case the constant ban-hammers on the Discord or the abominable way they treat even their own YouTube dickriders wasn't a clue enough for you on that regard.
## They made the Game of the Decade **__BY ACCIDENT__**
And since then, they've been trying to patch it into the game they always wanted to make. They are so, so fucking obsessed with making "**STARSHIP TROOPERS** The Movie-at-home", willful mis-interpretation of the Source Material and all. They are so, so fucking obsessed with making their "witty and insightful commentary" about the fucking **PATRIOT ACT**.
# The first game came out in **OBAMA'S SECOND TERM**, BTW.
Way to strike while that iron was white hot, **ARROWHEAD**. XP
These arrogant fart-sniffers just
## **Cannot fucking accept**
That they
**Have nothing interesting or insightful to say about politics**
## **They are __WRONG__ about STARSHIP TROOPERS**
# **AND THAT A GAME ABOUT KILLING THE PLAYER OVER AND OVER AGAIN IS NOT FUN, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU PUT IN A FINITE LIVES SYSTEM**
...you know what needs to happen, for **HELLDIVERS II** to be saved? Really saved?
**ARROWHEAD** needs to **Take their fucking L**.
Their political takes are _literally_ last decades news, their vision of the game sucks, and no-one wants to play it. Take that **FUCKING "L" WITH DIGNITY AND GRACE, ARROWHEAD**, And restore the game to the amazing fun that was so enamoring to everyone, people _and their Mums_ were playing.
(No really, you know Carl Benjamin? Sargon of Akkad? he played **HD II** with his Mum. _His crack-ass Boomer MUM was playing it_. That's how much widespread appeal this game had.)
**ARROWHEAD** created the 1/1,000,000,000,000 **GAME FOR EVERYONE**
And because they are so busy huffing their:
# **A gAeM fUr EvErYwUuUuN DUUUURRRR gAeM fUr NuWUUUUUUUN!!**
excuse, they are: in no uncertain terms, before our very eyes, turning their
## Game for **EVERYONE**
into
# **A GAME FOR FUCKING NO-ONE**
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Okay, **Rant Over**. v.v
Sorry that got so heated but...fuck me I really wanted to love this game. Prior to the release of **MCC** on Steam, and them adding **Halo 3: ODST** (which they originally weren't going to do, they added that as an apology gift basket for being terrible fucking devs who made a shitty port) **HELLDIVERS I** was _the_ best **ODST** experience on PC. Me and my friends got into playing it so, **HELLDIVERS II** was a very special treat for us when it launched.
This picture, for me, now represents the last fond memories I have of this game. Even then I knew it was getting shit, but the **BATTLE OF SUPER EARTH** event was the last truly great moment I had with this game before the nerfs, growing technical debt and overall rancid turd of **ARROWHEAD**'s vision for the game just rendered it a miserable fucking experience for me. And then people were noting that **Into the Un-balanced** wasn't just a terribly un-fun update, it was also **bricking people's PCs**, so me and my friends have sworn off that game for the foreseeable future. Probably forever, since I don't think this game will be fixed, for the reasons I mention in the rant. v.v
**TL;DR for those who skipped the rant: It will never be fixed, because ARROWHEAD thinks it ain't broke.**
So for me: this piece represents the good times of **HELLDIVERS**, the last ones I had with this franchise. I would love to be able to come back and enjoy it again some day, but **ARROWHEAD** need to take some L's and really rethink what they want out of this game before it can be anything enjoyable again. 3X>
I was glad at least that I finally got an official **Halo 3: ODST** crossover into the game, before it went to shit completely. MA5C assault rifle my beloved~ ^^;
Part of the reason this took so long was because I wanted some different versions of this piece, including with **Feather** holding a different weapon, or **Shiny** wearing different armour.
All different variations can be found here, if you wanna have a look at them: https://www.deviantart.com/stash/21ywctwjgde4
The different armours that **Shiny** is wearing are **Hero of the Federation**, **Honorary Guard** and **Parade Commander** because imo they are the best looking armours in the game. I adore the look of each one and they look great on **best stallion** :D
Also: those familiar with the game's mechanics will notice that **Shiny** is actually cheating a bit...he's equipped with both a **P-92 Warrant** and **CQC-2 Saber** at the same time, despite both occupying your secondary slot. And he's got the **SH-32 Shield Generator Pack** on his back and **SH-51 Directional Shield** on his arm despite them both occupying your backpack slot.
I decided that since **Shiny** is so great, he gets a little extra...lore wise, it's stupid you can't equip yourself like this anyway, the Saber and Pistol are holstered in different places, and the directional shield is used on your fucking arm anyway. If you ask me, the Ballistic and Directional shields would be so much more worth taking if they weren't considered backpacks but could __only__ be picked up and used in combo with one-handed weapons like SMGs and Secondary weapons.
Besides, this is **Shining Armor**, the shield pony. You really think I'm not going to give him max energy shields? You might not like it, but this is what Peak Protector Male performance looks like. X3
And finally, those wondering what kinda gun is **Shiny** holding over his shoulder? His primary?
Why, the **AR-19 Liberator** of course! No, not the shitty, boxy **AR-23** design, stolen from **Starfield** and put straight into **HD II**, this is the Chad, Traditional **HD I** starting weapon, based on the **EM-2 Assault Rifle**! :D
Sadly, this is not in the game itself...well, not without mods anyway: [https://www.nexusmods.com/helldivers2/mods/3209](https://www.nexusmods.com/helldivers2/mods/3209)
Alright, that really is all folks...I suppose that's it for 2025. I pray you all had a very Blessed, Wonderful and Merry Christmas, and that we all have a Happy New Year to look forward to. :)
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