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Content warning...

One has to wonder what kind ordeal a young girl must go through to willingly choose cold streets and the rough hands of strange men. I implied a few things in the Christmas Comic a whole back but as my ideas for the Homeless AU is running thin, I think it's time to be clear and try something new.

Dawn Lambert was a normal young girl, one born to an upper-middle class family during a time of recession and crisis within Zootopia. The family themselves preferred to live on the edge of the city, off in a much more quiet and private estate along with other financially secure families. From her first steps was taken privately educated, loved and embraced. All of which to an unhealthy degree.

Dawn you see was born specifically and exclusively, because Mommy and Daddy wanted a third wheel. Not just a daughter but a wife. One with beautifully soft, warm skin. And gorgeous green eyes just like her Daddy. By some luck they got just such a child on the first try. They raised her proper, and groomed her young mind in every lesson, every act of playtime, every moment of her life. Just Mommy, Daddy and Dawn. She didn't need anyone else and they didn't share her with anyone else.

She was barely 6 when they moved to teach her how to lay with them. At first, just her hands, and her mouth. But Mommy and, especially Daddy, was becoming impatient. They knew that she would need at least several more years before being physically and mentally ready for what they wanted... But then again. Maybe not. You see, when she was even younger than this, Daddy simply got too excited and with help of Mommy, decided to put Dawn to sleep so he could let off a little steam. That way Dawn gets a nice long rest, and keeps that innocent little sparkle in her eyes. While Daddy gets to have everything he wants. Each tear he made, every little wound from those rare venting sessions left a sprinkling of scars in places nobody would see. Like, tally marks. Each counting Daddy's love for her.

They thought she would be physically fine at least with how much 'practise' her body has had. But no, it was terrifying, it was scary, it was not the romantic night they wanted. And here is where the timeline splits. In the Homeless AU they decided to double down. If they could just hold her hand tight and comfort her enough then surely she would just warm up to it. It didn't work naturally and this is how Dawn lost her innocence, in the realization that Daddy wanted her very specially for one thing and was willing to hurt her for the rest of her life until she gave it to him.

It was not the pain that scared her in that moment. It was the realization that one day, it will stop hurting, and that she will love doing that terrible thing with Daddy more than anything else. It would become not just her reason for being born, but the reason she lives. So she ran away. For is it not better to at least choose who harms you, and to hold on to some level of freedom and choice, all the while never letting yourself be corrupted. Dawn in the Homeless series will grow up to become wealthy, and powerful, and free from her pain. In that form, being used by the worst of the city is a hard path that leads to a good end.

Rapture however, is the other side.
Instead of forcing it to work, Mommy and Daddy got a little more patient and formed a plan. To numb the pain, and slowly introduce her to all the love they had to share over at least the next year. This would work. With Dawn slowly, and slowly, being corrupted into believing every word they say. Even as Mommy scrubs the blood from her sheets. Even as Daddy gets too excited over his beautiful, lovely, little slice of heaven. It is to give in to comfort, to the addiction and allure of family love and the intoxication that comes with conformity.

Something I've come to understand you see, is that fear is nothing.
Fear reminds you of what is wrong, it urges you to stand up and fight and find control. Pain can clear your head, hate can remind you of things that must be done. A tyrant that is feared and hated is one whose time is short...

Love however can be a poison so pure and so controlling that you would die for the one that feeds you it.  To be comforted, to be accepted, to conform to the things that are pleasant and warm. These things can trap you in a prison so sweet that you can't even see the bars anymore.

Fear not the tyrant. Fear your own beating heart as it whispers to you to forgive they who harm you.
After all, they just love you. Don't you... Want to be loved?

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I have a follow up to this tomorrow, going more into the parents and some ideas.
Oh, and have a very Happy halloween.

Artwork is by [iconname]SoulCentinel[/iconname]

Here be some really depressing or otherwise sad stuff.

Bellwether, prossy cub on the streets.

Bellwether, not on the streets

Featuring Judy and Bellwether