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Post #189438 · 1 source
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"description": "<div><p>Regrets, remorse, shame, disgust... Why am I like this? Why did it have to be <em>this</em> particular fetish?</p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p><strong>Find Me On:</strong><br><a href=\"https://www.furaffinity.net/user/lorddominic/\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">FurAffinity</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://www.weasyl.com/~lorddominic\">Weasyl</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://ko-fi.com/LordDominic\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Ko-Fi</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://inkbunny.net/LordDominic\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Inkbunny</a></p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p>As time goes on, I have come to the realization that like how Nico Reynard manifests anger and frustration and sadness, and Nick Domnall manifests sadness and despair and regret and nihilism (at least its negative aspects, as I'd argue Dominika Reynard manifests a positive interpretation of nihilism and how freeing it is to know nothing really matters and everything is ultimately futile and fruitless, so \"fuck it, we ball\"), Dominic \"Skunk Boy\" Mephitto isn't just here to embody the parts of me that are cringe, and my feelings of not truly belonging anywhere and not truly fitting in anywhere, but also feelings of guilt and remorse and regret and inadequacy. And a lot of that comes into play with the diaper stuff. In fact, Skunk Boy's origin was as a bit of self-parody/vent art, where he was meant as a self caricature--in 2010, I was feeling super weird about how I had somehow developed some sort of diaper fetish, and how I was drawing stupid cartoon animals instead of, you know, <em>anything else</em> that might actually be considered respectable in some circles.<br>(Granted, this whole paragraph is equal parts \"you've been over this several times already\" and \"well no shit\", but it all bears mentioning.)</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I seriously feel like I'd be much better off without having any interest in diapers. I still find it quite shameful. Sure, over the years the diaper art I've posted has led me to meet some really cool people, but it's also caused me just as much (if not <em>more</em>) conflict.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I've also ruined numerous characters of mine through this stuff--I tried to limit it to a handful, or at the very least just kept in in \"one-off silliness\" territory when subjecting characters I'd typically consider to be more \"tough\" or \"serious\" to it because of the embarrassing contrast, but things didn't work out that way. I can't share any art of Skunk Boy without one of my friends mentioning his diaper or questioning why he's wearing underwear, and he's far from the only one--any art of Henry Redmane or Buck Donner also gets comments about their kilts going up to reveal their diapers, any art of Nico Reynard gets suggestions about sabotaging any emotion I'm trying to portray by having his diaper be revealed or \"maybe he's just grumpy because he needs a change\". A lot of these comments were in private when I show things weeks or even months before posting them, of course, but the point still stands and maybe it even stings a little more because I was previewing art to a handful of people I still bother to interact with at all.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>It's still one of those kinks that's widely frowned upon, even if comparing it to pedophilia because babies wear diapers is like comparing petplay to zoophilia/bestiality because petplay people wear collars and so do animals, a lot of people don't get that... and I feel <em>especially</em> alienated from the diaper people because my interest in it is almost entirely in the embarrassment aspect, since diapers have some interesting physical qualities and certain associations/implications that make a character wearing them quite embarrassing and the experience of wearing one awkward, but most of the people in the diaper community are interested in their use for their intended purpose.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>As a result, I feel shunned both by the normies, who think all diaper art is gross and weird (which is, honestly, very fucking understandable), and shunned by the diaper people because I'm not taking this stuff far enough, with the worst I ever really do being hinting at wetness sometimes with some very subtle yellowing of the front.<br>On a related note, I still find devoting one's entire artistic career and/or online presence to one single kink and nothing else, regardless of what that kink is, kinda weird... but in some ways I'm envious of those who feel comfortable enough in their weirdness to do so, or who at the very least have no aspirations (or delusions) of doing anything with their art/galleries besides kinkposting.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>It also means I really can't really show my gallery to anyone I know in real life, at least without them getting cool about a LOT of shit really quick. I'm not necessarily ashamed of posting to Fur Affinity, because that's easily explained truthfully--like just about every other casual artist with an internet connection between 2000 and 2020 or so, I was posting on DeviantArt, but the site went to shit and my content was a bit better fit for Fur Affinity anyways. Same goes with Weasyl, which I have no problem explaining is a smaller art site that was sorta up and coming a decade ago but didn't really take off but I'm still there.<br>And yes, I make use of any tools at my disposal to hide questionable content from outsiders, be it rating it mature, or on sites competent enough to allow individual pieces be \"require log-in to view\", making use of that option.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Of course, I do find the idea of someone I know finding some of my more questionable postings but not being able to say anything lest they out themselves as some sort of weirdo with a Fur Affinity account and mature content allowed oddly amusing...</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>(The less I say about Inkbunny, though, the better... I don't even sign in there anymore and I honestly feel like I have no business there no matter how many tags and users I block. As long as Postybirb continues to be compatible I'll likely allow automated posting to continue for the handful of folks that like my stuff and have found themselves there, either voluntarily or out of desperation, but I kinda gave up on interacting there within the first couple months.)</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Granted, with maybe three exceptions over the 12 or so years since I joined DeviantArt at the very end of 2011, nothing I've ever posted has been any worse than anything that would show up on Family Guy or The Simpsons (and I'm sure Homer Simpson <em>and</em> Peter Griffin have worn diapers on multiple occasions), but it's still not something I really want to have to explain to anybody, you know? <br>\"I do it because I think it's weird and silly cartoon bullshit\" is actually a very truthful explanation, but nobody would believe that's even partly true.</p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p>Anyways, I still really don't feel good about drawing diaper stuff or having my weird bastardized version of a diaper fetish that is only appeased by very specific art styles and scenarios, and I honestly hate that it's where my mind goes, when I have actual interesting bits of lore and world-building I should be pursuing instead. I should stop being a lazy, talentless hack endlessly recycling the same few poses, half of which are just the critter standing or sitting there in a diaper looking like an idiot. And I hate that I've managed to simultaneously draw an audience that doesn't care about 90% of what I post while subjecting people that are here for the underwear or the general \"fat and sad\" art or world-building stuff to fetish content they might find uncomfortable.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Just needed to get that off my chest. I'm sure I'll get plenty of \"you shouldn't feel any sort of guilt for drawing stuff I like to rub one out to!\" type comments from people who like to rub one out to any art of a cartoon critter in a diaper, but either way, I'm not sure I'll be drawing much of this shit anymore, or finishing the couple half-finished WIPs I have cluttering up my pictures folders and wasting hard drive space, and if I do I'm not sure I'll be posting them. The whole \"you're one of the few drawing cute and tasteful diaper stuff\" argument rings hollow nowadays, just like a lot of the other \"advice\" I get on just about every other subject imaginable.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I'm just sorta tired of making a fool of myself and embarrassing myself, and making a few people I thought of as friends vaguely uncomfortable and making them think less of me despite not saying so. And I'm definitely tired of feeling like an outcast because of it, while also simultaneously painting a target on my back to be lumped in with a community that doesn't even view me as worth their attention or acknowledgement. This pandering bullshit doesn't even get many more views than my normal art, so I'm not sure it's worth ruining what little \"reputation\" I might have left over it.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>None of this is new. In fact I've said it all before in private many times, I've just always held back expressing most of it publicly out of concern for pushing away watchers and losing views, but I honestly don't give a shit about any of that anymore.</p></div><div><br></div>\n\n<p></p><div>Just really angry and sad and tired and frustrated with a lot of things lately.</div><br><br><p><a href=\"http://www.postybirb.com/\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Posted using PostyBirb</a></p>\n",
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"description": "<div><p>Regrets, remorse, shame, disgust... Why am I like this? Why did it have to be <em>this</em> particular fetish?</p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p><strong>Find Me On:</strong><br><a href=\"https://www.furaffinity.net/user/lorddominic/\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">FurAffinity</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://www.weasyl.com/~lorddominic\">Weasyl</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://ko-fi.com/LordDominic\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Ko-Fi</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://inkbunny.net/LordDominic\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Inkbunny</a></p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p>As time goes on, I have come to the realization that like how Nico Reynard manifests anger and frustration and sadness, and Nick Domnall manifests sadness and despair and regret and nihilism (at least its negative aspects, as I'd argue Dominika Reynard manifests a positive interpretation of nihilism and how freeing it is to know nothing really matters and everything is ultimately futile and fruitless, so \"fuck it, we ball\"), Dominic \"Skunk Boy\" Mephitto isn't just here to embody the parts of me that are cringe, and my feelings of not truly belonging anywhere and not truly fitting in anywhere, but also feelings of guilt and remorse and regret and inadequacy. And a lot of that comes into play with the diaper stuff. In fact, Skunk Boy's origin was as a bit of self-parody/vent art, where he was meant as a self caricature--in 2010, I was feeling super weird about how I had somehow developed some sort of diaper fetish, and how I was drawing stupid cartoon animals instead of, you know, <em>anything else</em> that might actually be considered respectable in some circles.<br>(Granted, this whole paragraph is equal parts \"you've been over this several times already\" and \"well no shit\", but it all bears mentioning.)</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I seriously feel like I'd be much better off without having any interest in diapers. I still find it quite shameful. Sure, over the years the diaper art I've posted has led me to meet some really cool people, but it's also caused me just as much (if not <em>more</em>) conflict.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I've also ruined numerous characters of mine through this stuff--I tried to limit it to a handful, or at the very least just kept in in \"one-off silliness\" territory when subjecting characters I'd typically consider to be more \"tough\" or \"serious\" to it because of the embarrassing contrast, but things didn't work out that way. I can't share any art of Skunk Boy without one of my friends mentioning his diaper or questioning why he's wearing underwear, and he's far from the only one--any art of Henry Redmane or Buck Donner also gets comments about their kilts going up to reveal their diapers, any art of Nico Reynard gets suggestions about sabotaging any emotion I'm trying to portray by having his diaper be revealed or \"maybe he's just grumpy because he needs a change\". A lot of these comments were in private when I show things weeks or even months before posting them, of course, but the point still stands and maybe it even stings a little more because I was previewing art to a handful of people I still bother to interact with at all.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>It's still one of those kinks that's widely frowned upon, even if comparing it to pedophilia because babies wear diapers is like comparing petplay to zoophilia/bestiality because petplay people wear collars and so do animals, a lot of people don't get that... and I feel <em>especially</em> alienated from the diaper people because my interest in it is almost entirely in the embarrassment aspect, since diapers have some interesting physical qualities and certain associations/implications that make a character wearing them quite embarrassing and the experience of wearing one awkward, but most of the people in the diaper community are interested in their use for their intended purpose.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>As a result, I feel shunned both by the normies, who think all diaper art is gross and weird (which is, honestly, very fucking understandable), and shunned by the diaper people because I'm not taking this stuff far enough, with the worst I ever really do being hinting at wetness sometimes with some very subtle yellowing of the front.<br>On a related note, I still find devoting one's entire artistic career and/or online presence to one single kink and nothing else, regardless of what that kink is, kinda weird... but in some ways I'm envious of those who feel comfortable enough in their weirdness to do so, or who at the very least have no aspirations (or delusions) of doing anything with their art/galleries besides kinkposting.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>It also means I really can't really show my gallery to anyone I know in real life, at least without them getting cool about a LOT of shit really quick. I'm not necessarily ashamed of posting to Fur Affinity, because that's easily explained truthfully--like just about every other casual artist with an internet connection between 2000 and 2020 or so, I was posting on DeviantArt, but the site went to shit and my content was a bit better fit for Fur Affinity anyways. Same goes with Weasyl, which I have no problem explaining is a smaller art site that was sorta up and coming a decade ago but didn't really take off but I'm still there.<br>And yes, I make use of any tools at my disposal to hide questionable content from outsiders, be it rating it mature, or on sites competent enough to allow individual pieces be \"require log-in to view\", making use of that option.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Of course, I do find the idea of someone I know finding some of my more questionable postings but not being able to say anything lest they out themselves as some sort of weirdo with a Fur Affinity account and mature content allowed oddly amusing...</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>(The less I say about Inkbunny, though, the better... I don't even sign in there anymore and I honestly feel like I have no business there no matter how many tags and users I block. As long as Postybirb continues to be compatible I'll likely allow automated posting to continue for the handful of folks that like my stuff and have found themselves there, either voluntarily or out of desperation, but I kinda gave up on interacting there within the first couple months.)</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Granted, with maybe three exceptions over the 12 or so years since I joined DeviantArt at the very end of 2011, nothing I've ever posted has been any worse than anything that would show up on Family Guy or The Simpsons (and I'm sure Homer Simpson <em>and</em> Peter Griffin have worn diapers on multiple occasions), but it's still not something I really want to have to explain to anybody, you know? <br>\"I do it because I think it's weird and silly cartoon bullshit\" is actually a very truthful explanation, but nobody would believe that's even partly true.</p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p>Anyways, I still really don't feel good about drawing diaper stuff or having my weird bastardized version of a diaper fetish that is only appeased by very specific art styles and scenarios, and I honestly hate that it's where my mind goes, when I have actual interesting bits of lore and world-building I should be pursuing instead. I should stop being a lazy, talentless hack endlessly recycling the same few poses, half of which are just the critter standing or sitting there in a diaper looking like an idiot. And I hate that I've managed to simultaneously draw an audience that doesn't care about 90% of what I post while subjecting people that are here for the underwear or the general \"fat and sad\" art or world-building stuff to fetish content they might find uncomfortable.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Just needed to get that off my chest. I'm sure I'll get plenty of \"you shouldn't feel any sort of guilt for drawing stuff I like to rub one out to!\" type comments from people who like to rub one out to any art of a cartoon critter in a diaper, but either way, I'm not sure I'll be drawing much of this shit anymore, or finishing the couple half-finished WIPs I have cluttering up my pictures folders and wasting hard drive space, and if I do I'm not sure I'll be posting them. The whole \"you're one of the few drawing cute and tasteful diaper stuff\" argument rings hollow nowadays, just like a lot of the other \"advice\" I get on just about every other subject imaginable.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I'm just sorta tired of making a fool of myself and embarrassing myself, and making a few people I thought of as friends vaguely uncomfortable and making them think less of me despite not saying so. And I'm definitely tired of feeling like an outcast because of it, while also simultaneously painting a target on my back to be lumped in with a community that doesn't even view me as worth their attention or acknowledgement. This pandering bullshit doesn't even get many more views than my normal art, so I'm not sure it's worth ruining what little \"reputation\" I might have left over it.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>None of this is new. In fact I've said it all before in private many times, I've just always held back expressing most of it publicly out of concern for pushing away watchers and losing views, but I honestly don't give a shit about any of that anymore.</p></div><div><br></div>\n\n<p></p><div>Just really angry and sad and tired and frustrated with a lot of things lately.</div><br><br><p><a href=\"http://www.postybirb.com/\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Posted using PostyBirb</a></p>\n"
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"description": "<div><p>Regrets, remorse, shame, disgust... Why am I like this? Why did it have to be <em>this</em> particular fetish?</p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p><strong>Find Me On:</strong><br><a href=\"https://www.furaffinity.net/user/lorddominic/\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">FurAffinity</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://www.weasyl.com/~lorddominic\">Weasyl</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://ko-fi.com/LordDominic\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Ko-Fi</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://inkbunny.net/LordDominic\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Inkbunny</a></p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p>As time goes on, I have come to the realization that like how Nico Reynard manifests anger and frustration and sadness, and Nick Domnall manifests sadness and despair and regret and nihilism (at least its negative aspects, as I'd argue Dominika Reynard manifests a positive interpretation of nihilism and how freeing it is to know nothing really matters and everything is ultimately futile and fruitless, so \"fuck it, we ball\"), Dominic \"Skunk Boy\" Mephitto isn't just here to embody the parts of me that are cringe, and my feelings of not truly belonging anywhere and not truly fitting in anywhere, but also feelings of guilt and remorse and regret and inadequacy. And a lot of that comes into play with the diaper stuff. In fact, Skunk Boy's origin was as a bit of self-parody/vent art, where he was meant as a self caricature--in 2010, I was feeling super weird about how I had somehow developed some sort of diaper fetish, and how I was drawing stupid cartoon animals instead of, you know, <em>anything else</em> that might actually be considered respectable in some circles.<br>(Granted, this whole paragraph is equal parts \"you've been over this several times already\" and \"well no shit\", but it all bears mentioning.)</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I seriously feel like I'd be much better off without having any interest in diapers. I still find it quite shameful. Sure, over the years the diaper art I've posted has led me to meet some really cool people, but it's also caused me just as much (if not <em>more</em>) conflict.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I've also ruined numerous characters of mine through this stuff--I tried to limit it to a handful, or at the very least just kept in in \"one-off silliness\" territory when subjecting characters I'd typically consider to be more \"tough\" or \"serious\" to it because of the embarrassing contrast, but things didn't work out that way. I can't share any art of Skunk Boy without one of my friends mentioning his diaper or questioning why he's wearing underwear, and he's far from the only one--any art of Henry Redmane or Buck Donner also gets comments about their kilts going up to reveal their diapers, any art of Nico Reynard gets suggestions about sabotaging any emotion I'm trying to portray by having his diaper be revealed or \"maybe he's just grumpy because he needs a change\". A lot of these comments were in private when I show things weeks or even months before posting them, of course, but the point still stands and maybe it even stings a little more because I was previewing art to a handful of people I still bother to interact with at all.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>It's still one of those kinks that's widely frowned upon, even if comparing it to pedophilia because babies wear diapers is like comparing petplay to zoophilia/bestiality because petplay people wear collars and so do animals, a lot of people don't get that... and I feel <em>especially</em> alienated from the diaper people because my interest in it is almost entirely in the embarrassment aspect, since diapers have some interesting physical qualities and certain associations/implications that make a character wearing them quite embarrassing and the experience of wearing one awkward, but most of the people in the diaper community are interested in their use for their intended purpose.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>As a result, I feel shunned both by the normies, who think all diaper art is gross and weird (which is, honestly, very fucking understandable), and shunned by the diaper people because I'm not taking this stuff far enough, with the worst I ever really do being hinting at wetness sometimes with some very subtle yellowing of the front.<br>On a related note, I still find devoting one's entire artistic career and/or online presence to one single kink and nothing else, regardless of what that kink is, kinda weird... but in some ways I'm envious of those who feel comfortable enough in their weirdness to do so, or who at the very least have no aspirations (or delusions) of doing anything with their art/galleries besides kinkposting.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>It also means I really can't really show my gallery to anyone I know in real life, at least without them getting cool about a LOT of shit really quick. I'm not necessarily ashamed of posting to Fur Affinity, because that's easily explained truthfully--like just about every other casual artist with an internet connection between 2000 and 2020 or so, I was posting on DeviantArt, but the site went to shit and my content was a bit better fit for Fur Affinity anyways. Same goes with Weasyl, which I have no problem explaining is a smaller art site that was sorta up and coming a decade ago but didn't really take off but I'm still there.<br>And yes, I make use of any tools at my disposal to hide questionable content from outsiders, be it rating it mature, or on sites competent enough to allow individual pieces be \"require log-in to view\", making use of that option.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Of course, I do find the idea of someone I know finding some of my more questionable postings but not being able to say anything lest they out themselves as some sort of weirdo with a Fur Affinity account and mature content allowed oddly amusing...</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>(The less I say about Inkbunny, though, the better... I don't even sign in there anymore and I honestly feel like I have no business there no matter how many tags and users I block. As long as Postybirb continues to be compatible I'll likely allow automated posting to continue for the handful of folks that like my stuff and have found themselves there, either voluntarily or out of desperation, but I kinda gave up on interacting there within the first couple months.)</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Granted, with maybe three exceptions over the 12 or so years since I joined DeviantArt at the very end of 2011, nothing I've ever posted has been any worse than anything that would show up on Family Guy or The Simpsons (and I'm sure Homer Simpson <em>and</em> Peter Griffin have worn diapers on multiple occasions), but it's still not something I really want to have to explain to anybody, you know? <br>\"I do it because I think it's weird and silly cartoon bullshit\" is actually a very truthful explanation, but nobody would believe that's even partly true.</p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p>Anyways, I still really don't feel good about drawing diaper stuff or having my weird bastardized version of a diaper fetish that is only appeased by very specific art styles and scenarios, and I honestly hate that it's where my mind goes, when I have actual interesting bits of lore and world-building I should be pursuing instead. I should stop being a lazy, talentless hack endlessly recycling the same few poses, half of which are just the critter standing or sitting there in a diaper looking like an idiot. And I hate that I've managed to simultaneously draw an audience that doesn't care about 90% of what I post while subjecting people that are here for the underwear or the general \"fat and sad\" art or world-building stuff to fetish content they might find uncomfortable.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Just needed to get that off my chest. I'm sure I'll get plenty of \"you shouldn't feel any sort of guilt for drawing stuff I like to rub one out to!\" type comments from people who like to rub one out to any art of a cartoon critter in a diaper, but either way, I'm not sure I'll be drawing much of this shit anymore, or finishing the couple half-finished WIPs I have cluttering up my pictures folders and wasting hard drive space, and if I do I'm not sure I'll be posting them. The whole \"you're one of the few drawing cute and tasteful diaper stuff\" argument rings hollow nowadays, just like a lot of the other \"advice\" I get on just about every other subject imaginable.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I'm just sorta tired of making a fool of myself and embarrassing myself, and making a few people I thought of as friends vaguely uncomfortable and making them think less of me despite not saying so. And I'm definitely tired of feeling like an outcast because of it, while also simultaneously painting a target on my back to be lumped in with a community that doesn't even view me as worth their attention or acknowledgement. This pandering bullshit doesn't even get many more views than my normal art, so I'm not sure it's worth ruining what little \"reputation\" I might have left over it.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>None of this is new. In fact I've said it all before in private many times, I've just always held back expressing most of it publicly out of concern for pushing away watchers and losing views, but I honestly don't give a shit about any of that anymore.</p></div><div><br></div>\n\n<p></p><div>Just really angry and sad and tired and frustrated with a lot of things lately.</div><br><br><p><a href=\"http://www.postybirb.com/\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Posted using PostyBirb</a></p>\n",
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.description.json · embedded sidecar fallback Download
{
"description": "<div><p>Regrets, remorse, shame, disgust... Why am I like this? Why did it have to be <em>this</em> particular fetish?</p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p><strong>Find Me On:</strong><br><a href=\"https://www.furaffinity.net/user/lorddominic/\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">FurAffinity</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://www.weasyl.com/~lorddominic\">Weasyl</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://ko-fi.com/LordDominic\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Ko-Fi</a> ◈ <a href=\"https://inkbunny.net/LordDominic\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Inkbunny</a></p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p>As time goes on, I have come to the realization that like how Nico Reynard manifests anger and frustration and sadness, and Nick Domnall manifests sadness and despair and regret and nihilism (at least its negative aspects, as I'd argue Dominika Reynard manifests a positive interpretation of nihilism and how freeing it is to know nothing really matters and everything is ultimately futile and fruitless, so \"fuck it, we ball\"), Dominic \"Skunk Boy\" Mephitto isn't just here to embody the parts of me that are cringe, and my feelings of not truly belonging anywhere and not truly fitting in anywhere, but also feelings of guilt and remorse and regret and inadequacy. And a lot of that comes into play with the diaper stuff. In fact, Skunk Boy's origin was as a bit of self-parody/vent art, where he was meant as a self caricature--in 2010, I was feeling super weird about how I had somehow developed some sort of diaper fetish, and how I was drawing stupid cartoon animals instead of, you know, <em>anything else</em> that might actually be considered respectable in some circles.<br>(Granted, this whole paragraph is equal parts \"you've been over this several times already\" and \"well no shit\", but it all bears mentioning.)</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I seriously feel like I'd be much better off without having any interest in diapers. I still find it quite shameful. Sure, over the years the diaper art I've posted has led me to meet some really cool people, but it's also caused me just as much (if not <em>more</em>) conflict.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I've also ruined numerous characters of mine through this stuff--I tried to limit it to a handful, or at the very least just kept in in \"one-off silliness\" territory when subjecting characters I'd typically consider to be more \"tough\" or \"serious\" to it because of the embarrassing contrast, but things didn't work out that way. I can't share any art of Skunk Boy without one of my friends mentioning his diaper or questioning why he's wearing underwear, and he's far from the only one--any art of Henry Redmane or Buck Donner also gets comments about their kilts going up to reveal their diapers, any art of Nico Reynard gets suggestions about sabotaging any emotion I'm trying to portray by having his diaper be revealed or \"maybe he's just grumpy because he needs a change\". A lot of these comments were in private when I show things weeks or even months before posting them, of course, but the point still stands and maybe it even stings a little more because I was previewing art to a handful of people I still bother to interact with at all.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>It's still one of those kinks that's widely frowned upon, even if comparing it to pedophilia because babies wear diapers is like comparing petplay to zoophilia/bestiality because petplay people wear collars and so do animals, a lot of people don't get that... and I feel <em>especially</em> alienated from the diaper people because my interest in it is almost entirely in the embarrassment aspect, since diapers have some interesting physical qualities and certain associations/implications that make a character wearing them quite embarrassing and the experience of wearing one awkward, but most of the people in the diaper community are interested in their use for their intended purpose.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>As a result, I feel shunned both by the normies, who think all diaper art is gross and weird (which is, honestly, very fucking understandable), and shunned by the diaper people because I'm not taking this stuff far enough, with the worst I ever really do being hinting at wetness sometimes with some very subtle yellowing of the front.<br>On a related note, I still find devoting one's entire artistic career and/or online presence to one single kink and nothing else, regardless of what that kink is, kinda weird... but in some ways I'm envious of those who feel comfortable enough in their weirdness to do so, or who at the very least have no aspirations (or delusions) of doing anything with their art/galleries besides kinkposting.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>It also means I really can't really show my gallery to anyone I know in real life, at least without them getting cool about a LOT of shit really quick. I'm not necessarily ashamed of posting to Fur Affinity, because that's easily explained truthfully--like just about every other casual artist with an internet connection between 2000 and 2020 or so, I was posting on DeviantArt, but the site went to shit and my content was a bit better fit for Fur Affinity anyways. Same goes with Weasyl, which I have no problem explaining is a smaller art site that was sorta up and coming a decade ago but didn't really take off but I'm still there.<br>And yes, I make use of any tools at my disposal to hide questionable content from outsiders, be it rating it mature, or on sites competent enough to allow individual pieces be \"require log-in to view\", making use of that option.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Of course, I do find the idea of someone I know finding some of my more questionable postings but not being able to say anything lest they out themselves as some sort of weirdo with a Fur Affinity account and mature content allowed oddly amusing...</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>(The less I say about Inkbunny, though, the better... I don't even sign in there anymore and I honestly feel like I have no business there no matter how many tags and users I block. As long as Postybirb continues to be compatible I'll likely allow automated posting to continue for the handful of folks that like my stuff and have found themselves there, either voluntarily or out of desperation, but I kinda gave up on interacting there within the first couple months.)</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Granted, with maybe three exceptions over the 12 or so years since I joined DeviantArt at the very end of 2011, nothing I've ever posted has been any worse than anything that would show up on Family Guy or The Simpsons (and I'm sure Homer Simpson <em>and</em> Peter Griffin have worn diapers on multiple occasions), but it's still not something I really want to have to explain to anybody, you know? <br>\"I do it because I think it's weird and silly cartoon bullshit\" is actually a very truthful explanation, but nobody would believe that's even partly true.</p></div>\n<hr><hr>\n<div><p>Anyways, I still really don't feel good about drawing diaper stuff or having my weird bastardized version of a diaper fetish that is only appeased by very specific art styles and scenarios, and I honestly hate that it's where my mind goes, when I have actual interesting bits of lore and world-building I should be pursuing instead. I should stop being a lazy, talentless hack endlessly recycling the same few poses, half of which are just the critter standing or sitting there in a diaper looking like an idiot. And I hate that I've managed to simultaneously draw an audience that doesn't care about 90% of what I post while subjecting people that are here for the underwear or the general \"fat and sad\" art or world-building stuff to fetish content they might find uncomfortable.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>Just needed to get that off my chest. I'm sure I'll get plenty of \"you shouldn't feel any sort of guilt for drawing stuff I like to rub one out to!\" type comments from people who like to rub one out to any art of a cartoon critter in a diaper, but either way, I'm not sure I'll be drawing much of this shit anymore, or finishing the couple half-finished WIPs I have cluttering up my pictures folders and wasting hard drive space, and if I do I'm not sure I'll be posting them. The whole \"you're one of the few drawing cute and tasteful diaper stuff\" argument rings hollow nowadays, just like a lot of the other \"advice\" I get on just about every other subject imaginable.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>I'm just sorta tired of making a fool of myself and embarrassing myself, and making a few people I thought of as friends vaguely uncomfortable and making them think less of me despite not saying so. And I'm definitely tired of feeling like an outcast because of it, while also simultaneously painting a target on my back to be lumped in with a community that doesn't even view me as worth their attention or acknowledgement. This pandering bullshit doesn't even get many more views than my normal art, so I'm not sure it's worth ruining what little \"reputation\" I might have left over it.</p></div><div><br></div>\n<div><p>None of this is new. In fact I've said it all before in private many times, I've just always held back expressing most of it publicly out of concern for pushing away watchers and losing views, but I honestly don't give a shit about any of that anymore.</p></div><div><br></div>\n\n<p></p><div>Just really angry and sad and tired and frustrated with a lot of things lately.</div><br><br><p><a href=\"http://www.postybirb.com/\" rel=\"nofollow ugc\">Posted using PostyBirb</a></p>\n"
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profile.api.json · CAS artifact Download
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"profile_text": "<p><span style=\"color:#265178;\"><strong>Hello everyone! Some of you may know me from DeviantArt, where I've been active for the past couple years, and more recently, Fur Affinity. I wanted to branch out a bit, so here I am!</strong></span></p>\n\n<hr>\n\n<p>In short, I consider myself a hobbyist cartoonist.<br>\nI like to draw anthros I have quite the cast of characters at my disposal. As for subject matter... I tend to jump from subject to subject, from serious to silly to all points in between. Everything might not work for everyone, but you can't please all of the people all of the time!</p>\n\n<hr>\n\n<p>Expect plenty of:</p>\n<ul><li>Pear-shaped cartoon animals!</li>\n<li>Cartoon animals with long, messy hair!</li>\n<li>Cartoon animals making questionable fashion choices!</li>\n<li>Cartoon animals making NO fashion choices and just hanging out in their underwear!</li>\n<li>Cartoon BABY animals!</li>\n<li>And the occasional, totally out-of-place serious art that has nothing to do with pear-shaped cartoon animals with long hair and colorful underpants!</li>\n</ul>\n<p>For real though, I just draw for fun. I take art seriously, but not <em>that</em> seriously.</p>\n\n<hr>\n\n<p>All my characters, unless otherwise noted, are my own creations.<br>\nAs for the name Lord Dominic? Long story. Started in high school. that was one of my characters... Just rolled with it ever since. </p>\n",
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54898.json · CAS artifact Download
{
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