{
  "writing": "\tIt was another day at the Son household. Gohan was finishing his homework. Today, he was learning about scientific ethics in the context of robotics and cybernetics. There was even a cassette tape playing that had two scientists debating the ethics of cybernetic enhancements. One was talking about how much they could help humans. Another was raising ethics concerns about how that research could be misused and how even experimenting with live subjects could be considered an ethics violation. Gohan's assignment was to summarize what he learned and use what he learned to argue for a side.\n\n\tOutside, Bulma and Chi-Chi were talking. Bulma just revealed that she was having Vegeta's child. After a very stern lecture about how unethical it was for Bulma to cheat on Yamcha with his killer, Chi-Chi called Gohan out.\n\n\t“Are you and Bulma finished with the grown-up talk, Mom?”\n\n\t“Not quite, Chi-Chi said. “Bulma is having a baby and Vegeta's the father,” Chi-Chi said. “I'd say you'd understand when you're older... But I'm not sure I understand. And she needs your help.”\n\n\t“Well... I don't know how to take care of a baby,” Bulma said sheepishly. “And this is going to sound strange, but I want you two to join me at my place for a few days to teach me how to take care of a baby.”\n\n\t“I'm only six,” Gohan pointed out. “How would I help?”\n\n\t“I need you for something special, Gohan,” Bulma said. “I need you to pretend to be a baby.”\n\n\t“Pretend to be a what?” Gohan asked.\n\n\t“A baby,” Bulma repeated. “Wear diapers, drink bottles, the whole nine yards.”\n\n\tGohan wondered if the senzu beans and Dende did not heal his injuries from fighting on Namek right because he could not have heard her ask him to be a baby.. This was even weirder than the Ginyu Force. Chi-Chi also looked confused. \n\n\t“There are books and classes about this,” Chi-Chi said trying to offer alternatives.\n\n\t“I tried those,” Bulma said. “Everybody tries to get me to invest in their latest hare-brained gadget. My mom's no help. They usually pawned me off on nannies. And if I'm honest, they don't have the best parenting skills. Why do you think I was wandering the wilderness when I was 16? I want to actually be a parent. And I'm not sure any of those would help. All that stuff gives me information about human babies. My child will be half-Saiyan. Things might be a tad different. So I want to pay you two for a hands-on lesson in raising a half-Saiyan baby.”\n\n\tAs someone who also had an interest in science, Gohan saw her point. None of the information on human babies translated well for him when he was a baby. And he was the only data point for Bulma. But as someone who wanted to be taken seriously as a warrior, he was not enthused about dressing up like a baby!\n\n\t“I'm sorry, Bulma, but no,” Gohan said.\n\n\tChi-Chi was a little surprised by both the request and Gohan's rejection of it out of hand so quickly. His experiences with the Saiyans and on Namek had grown his backbone.  Even so, she wanted Gohan to give the offer a little more consideration.\n\n\t“Can you give us a second, Bulma?” Chi-Chi asked.\n\n\t“Sure thing,” Bulma said, confident that Chi-Chi could persuade Gohan.\n\n\tChi-Chi sighed. For some time, Gohan had been wetting the bed. He did not know that Chi-Chi knew, and she wanted to give him a little space. His trip to Namek had been traumatic. He was still having nightmares. Perhaps she could help him work through his trauma if he had to act more vulnerable.\n\n\t“I know she's asking a lot and I'm not overly thrilled about it either, but we should help her,” Chi-Chi said, taking the boy aside. “She's our friend. We both know Vegeta won't, assuming he didn't fly his ship into an asteroid.”\n\n\t“And she has help,” Gohan pointed out. “Even if it's not going to be perfect, all those books and classes will help some. I don't want to dress as a baby because she doesn't want to take a class with people who annoy her.”\n\n\t“Think of it as training,” Chi-Chi suggested. “You've gotten a lot stronger since you got back, and you've had some trouble controlling your power. Your dad had a similar problem. Apparently, Master Roshi had all the hinges on his doors reinforced by Fortune Teller Baba's magic so Goku wouldn't tear them off the hinges when he opened them. Having to intentionally keep your power level to an absolute minimum will help with that.\n\n\t“Nope,” Gohan said. \n\n\tChi-Chi sighed. She could force him, but if he were forced, he'd probably give her unhelpful information. So she had to resort to something she had hoped she wouldn't need to for a couple more years: Outright bribery.\n\n\t“What'll it take for you to play along?”\n\n\tGohan blinked. There was someone who had a lot of money and no other options. And mom was in a giving mood instead of a yelling mood. And wanting reasonable compensation for something like this didn't make him a bad person. Before Raditz appeared, his biggest accomplishment after schoolwork was getting out of diapers and going into “big boy” underwear full-time! Having to give up that accomplishment for weeks just because Bulma wouldn't take a class should get him something! He turned around, having reached a fair price. Chi-Chi rolled her eyes. She just hoped it would be what a six-year-old would call a reasonable bribe rather than a grown-up bribe.\n\n\t“I'll do it... For a few things.” Gohan said, turning around and looking a bit more confident.\n\n\t“Uh-oh,” Bulma said. “Plurals are never a good sign with bribes.”\n\n\t“Let's hear them,” Chi-Chi said.\n\n\t“I want more time for training, not just studying,” Gohan started. “I'd like a new computer. I want to enter a World Martial Arts Tournament like dad did. And if you want me to act like a baby, you can't punish me for anything I do as a baby when we get home.”\n\n\tChi-Chi sighed. She had been hoping he'd ask for junk food. Instead, he asked for the biggest things she didn't want him to have: A computer and a tournament. But he had the monopoly on being a training baby.\n\n\t“Fine, but I expect you to give your best performance,” Chi-Chi paused. “We're not going to make this easy for you, baby boy.”\n\n\n\tGohan was rather shocked when he got to Capsule Corp! Bulma had set up a nursery and baby playroom in his size! It had nearly everything one could think of for a baby. Bulma had anticipated that the duo would help. However, she hadn't expected Gohan to extort Chi-Chi. So they planned to get as much mileage as they could!\n\n\t“Why is everything so big?” Gohan asked as Chi-Chi carried him to the changing table, clearly trying to take his mind off what was about to happen.\n\n\t“Well, in addition to teaching me how to be a mom, you'll be testing out a few things,” Bulma said. “There's been a shortage of quality baby things for the larger species, so we're getting our share of the market.”\n\n\t“Gohan,” Chi-Chi said as she laid Gohan down and undressed him. “In the interest of maintaining Bulma's simulation, you shouldn't talk. You're a baby. Bulma will have to learn how to figure out what you need without us telling her.”\n\n\tShe then got a big diaper, probably the biggest diaper Gohan had ever seen, and started talking.\n\n\t“So when it comes to baby Saiyans and diapers, you'll probably need to get the biggest ones they have,” Chi-Chi said while rubbing Gohan down with rash cream.\n\n\t“Because they eat a lot, right?”\n\n\t“That's right,” Chi-Chi said, as she taped up the big nursery-printed diaper. “While baby Saiyans don't eat quite as much as adults like Goku, they definitely eat more than the average human baby or toddler. Though in the interest of your 'data', we'll be feeding Gohan a bit more than you'd feed a baby since he's six years old. Speaking of, it's about time for lunch! Now carry Gohan to the dining room.”\n\n\tGohan suddenly realized a flaw in his bargain. He'd have to eat baby food! After all, Bulma wanted the simulation to be as accurate as possible. And they weren't going to let him have solid food! And Chi-Chi was hoping he'd break character enough that she could call off the bargain. But Gohan faced Frieza and even got a few solid hits in! If he couldn't handle a baby mush or formula, he deserved to stay in this diaper!\n\n\tBulma carried Gohan to the little dining room. There was a big blue highchair with a teddy bear on it. Chi-Chi would demonstrate how to buckle him in, and then had Bulma do it. It took her a couple of tries. Then she put the tray on.\n\n\t“For now, we're going to start with baby formula,” Chi-Chi said. “You'll want to keep the baby in the high chair occupied with toys or music. Bored babies can get loud pretty quick.”\n\n\t“Should I get the baby a pacifier too?” Bulma asked.\n\n\t“Of course!”\n\n\tBulma walked out and got some soft toys and a blue binky. After having the pacifier stuffed into his mouth, Gohan would idly play with the soft sensory toys as he sucked on the pacifier. He also listened to Chi-Chi walk Bulma through making bottles. He noticed that he was never referred to by name. Only as 'the baby.' And it was starting to get to him. But he remembered he was not allowed to talk. But he had another option: Act like a baby! He picked up a soft block, and as he was about to throw it, he paused and did his best to lower his power. Even a soft object thrown by a Saiyan could cause a concussion if he didn't control his power. After the pause, he threw the block and hit Bulma square in the back of the head. Both Chi-Chi and Bulma turned to look at him. Gohan just clapped and giggled playfully. Then he threw another soft block at Chi-Chi.\n\n\t“It seems we have a naughty little baby,” Bulma chided before bringing the bottle over. \n\n\t“We can deal with that in a minute,” Chi-Chi teased before going over and removing Gohan's pacifier. “For now, we should feed the baby his bottle. Don't forget to let him breathe periodically.”\n\n\tGohan had thought he'd be handed the bottle and be allowed to hold it. Instead, Chi-Chi took him out of the highchair and handed him to Bulma. Bulma stuffed the nipple of the bottle into his mouth, and he started sucking on it. The formula tasted funny, but it wasn't making him gag. He wasn't sure what that said about him. Periodically letting him breathe, Bulma was humming a lullaby. He actually felt safe like this. Chi-Chi would hand Bulma a second bottle.\n\n\t“He seems to enjoy this more than I thought he would,” Bulma said as she continued to feed Gohan.\n\n\t“Many babies calm down after a good bottle feeding and some cuddles,” Chi-Chi joked. “Next, we'll get to burping him.”\n\n\tAfter being fed, Chi-Chi walked Bulma through burping Gohan, and he noticed the atmosphere change.\n\n\t“With human babies and toddlers, spanking doesn't really work, but Saiyans only seem to respect physical power,” Chi-Chi said, leading Bulma to the nursery. “Now sit in that rocking chair and put the baby over your knee!”\n\n\tGohan would immediately start screaming and crying, but remembered he couldn't use his big boy words. Bulma pulled the back of his diaper down. \n\n\t“Should I use my hand or the hairbrush on the table?”\n\n\t“If it were a normal baby, I would say just your hand,” Chi-Chi said. “But the hairbrush will account for his size.”\n\n\tGohan started trying to squirm out of Bulma's lap without using his power, but he was quite stuck! And then he started getting WHACKED on the bare bottom with the hairbrush. Over and over as he kicked and screamed. When he had been on Namek or fighting Vegeta, he felt intense fear. This time, he felt something different: Humiliation! With each loud WHACK of the hairbrush, he blushed harder and redder as his poor bottom got redder. Of course, because he was a Saiyan, it took a lot more spankings to get his bottom nice and red. By that point, Gohan was crying like a baby. Chi-Chi, figuring Gohan had had enough for now, told Bulma to cuddle Gohan.\n\n\t“It's okay, baby boy,” Bulma said, pulling the back of his diaper up. “Hopefully, you know not to throw things at mommy and me. Can I put him in the playpen for a minute? There's something I want to get.”\n\n\t“Sure,” Chi-Chi said.\n\n\tBulma took Gohan to the big baby playpen and sat him inside. The two ladies walked to a closet. Gohan, after a little more sniffling, stood up. He started waddling around. The thick diaper made everything harder. Then, he tried jumping and turning on the TV. Chi-Chi turned around when she heard Teletubbies playing.\n\n\t“Oh, I see the baby is testing his limits,” Chi-Chi commented. “Well, Auntie Bulma and I have the perfect thing for you to test. Bulma, take him to the changing table. We're going to clean the baby out.”\n\n\tGohan blinked. What could that have meant? Bulma laid him down and buckled him to the changing table. Gohan tried to struggle a little but found everything secure. The table was strongly reinforced. Bulma untaped the big diaper as Chi-Chi brought a bag of liquid with a nozzle attached and some vaseline. \n\n\t“Just dip the nozzle in the Vaseline and slide it in,” She said. “I'll get the special clothes.”\n\n\tBefore Gohan could process everything Chi-Chi just said or ask what was happening, Bulma was holding his legs up, toddler style, and sliding the nozzle inside him. Gohan screamed and cried as water filled him up even more than the formula did, but soon that part was over, and the diaper was taped up.   As he sniffled, he felt the urge to start filling his diaper and tried to hold it in. They were trying to make him poop himself!\n\n\t“Looks like the baby found out the first challenge,” Bulma teased as she brought him to a big baby blanket in the living room. “But your mommy will bring in the challenge I made. You'll have  to do some training we'll all enjoy!”\n\n\tChi-Chi was lugging in some heavy clothes, one piece at a time. They looked like an ordinary pair of mittens and booties and a blue onesie that said “Silly Baby” in big bold letters. But as they were forced on him, he realized they were heavy weights! Chi-Chi rolled him over onto his tummy, and Bulma put his binky back in his mouth.\n\n\t“Tummy time is very important for babies,” Chi-Chi said. “And if the baby learns to fly early, these weights will keep him on the ground, right?” \n\n\t“That's right!” Bulma said. “The big baby will have to learn how to move slowly and gradually, just like a real baby will!”\n\n\tGohan groaned. Not only was he about to poop his pants in front of his mommy, but he couldn't so much as lift his legs. All he could do was resign himself to the inevitable and groan as the back of his diaper started expanding. He had expected either of the women to change his diaper immediately, but they had just left him there. The diaper was getting itchy. What was going on? They let him lie there through the full episode of Teletubbies. Then he realized what he had to do!\n\n\t“WAAAAAAH!” He screamed and cried!\n\n\t“Looks like the baby needs his diapie changed,” Chi-Chi said, taking off the weights and taking him to the nursery. “I'll take him this time.”\n\n\tChi-Chi laid Gohan on the table and buckled him up.\n\n\t“Let's talk, baby boy,” Chi-Chi said. “I know you've been wetting the bed. It's okay. I know you've seen a lot. And did a lot.”\n\n\tGohan gasped from behind the pacifier. Like most kids, he thought she'd never find out.  He was about to speak when she put her finger on the pacifier.\n\n\t“But trying to hide your pain isn't healthy,” she said. “You're hurting. Your dad's away for awhile, again. And maybe I've been pushing you too hard, too. But if you want to get into tournament shape, we'll have to deal with these problems, okay?”\n\n\tGohan nodded and relaxed as Chi-Chi changed him. He didn't want to admit it, but he thought the pacifier was nice. Once he was all clean, Chi-Chi slid a new diaper under him.\n\n\t“But I can't have you hiding unsanitary wet sheets again,” Chi-Chi said sternly. “Bulma, I have something else to show you.”\n\n\tBulma came in.\n\n\t“Now the thing about Saiyans is that their body temperature is a little higher,” Chi-Chi said, getting a baby thermometer and dipping it in Vaseline. “Let me show you.”\n\n\tGohan started crying and trying to kick his legs, but Chi-Chi started swatting his bare bottom! Bulma figured the spanking was for something going on behind the scenes, so she didn't say anything. Gohan flailed his arms, but after he was reduced to sniffling, the spanking stopped. Then, Chi-Chi slid the thermometer inside him. After the temperature was taken, Chi-Chi showed Bulma the reading. It was 100 degrees.\n\n\t“It freaked me out the first time,” Chi-Chi said. “But it's normal.”\n\n\tGohan became quite familiar with the various baby shows and toys as he tried to move with the weights, but he could hardly budge. It was a big accomplishment when he lifted his hand or foot up from the baby mat! Most of the time, Chi-Chi or Bulma had to take the weights off to change his position. But on the third day, he started sending extra ki to his muscles and managed to roll over on his back!\n\n\t“Very good, Gohan!” Chi-Chi praised. “You have to send your energy to specific parts of your body. Sending energy to your whole body might work in short bursts, but  it'll drain your energy quickly.”\n\n\tChi-Chi had resigned herself to Gohan winning this bet. All the bottle feedings and dirty diapers couldn't break him! So she might as well help him with the tournament, and this was safer than gravity training. By day five, Gohan was learning to send more ki to multiple places at once. He got up on his hands and knees and crawled off the mat! \n\n\t“Good baby!” Bulma said.\n\n\tLater that night, Bulma was giving Gohan, dressed in blue footie pajamas, a midnight feeding. He opened his eyes slightly and could hear the ladies talking.\n\n\t“This has been a good practice session,” Bulma said as she rocked Gohan. “But I'm still worried.”\n\n\t“About what?”\n\n\t“Well, my baby probably won't be as nice and compliant as your baby,” she said.\n\n\t“Every baby is different,” Chi-Chi said. “Plus, Gohan is six. So he knows what we're saying. An actual baby won't know words, so it'll take time for them to learn to follow directions.”\n\n\t“But what if he starts acting like an egomaniac like his father?”\n\n\t“That's what the hairbrush is for,” Chi-Chi grinned.\n\n\t“But what if-” Chi-Chi cut her off.\n\n\t“Bulma, you'll do great. Just ask our little actor.”\n\n\tGohan, now aware that his mom and Bulma knew he was awake, smiled and nodded.\n\n\t“And if you need another lesson, I think he'd be happy to drop in for another demonstration. Wouldn't you, baby boy?”\n\n\tGohan blushed deeply, but he nodded and started babbling happily before he was pacified and tucked in once more."
}