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"writing": "\"Good morning birdpet.\"\n\nI open my eyes. I’m in a forest. Above me is a shrike, twice my height, with big grey wings ending in claws.\n\n\"Master!\"\n\nI scamper up to my talons, wrap my wings around Master’s leg and bury my face in his feathers. He’s so soft and warm and safe and I’m so happy and\n\n“coooo… coooo…”\n“That’s a good bird.” He runs his claws through my crest. It feels so good. “Do you know why you’re here?”\n“To serve you, Master!” I look up at him. His eyes are so kind and the way he looks at me makes me feel so safe and loved and owned…\n\nMaster smiles.\n\n“That’s right, birdpet.”\n\nI release Master’s leg and drop to my knees.\n\n“How can I serve you Master?”\n“You’re the test bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\nI chirp excitedly.\n\n“That sounds fun Master! What does the test bird do?”\n“Come along. I’ll show you.”\n\nMaster takes my wing and guides me through the forest to a campsite. There’s a small tent, a few chairs, and a campfire. It seems recently used. The smell of breakfast still hangs in the air, and the campfire is still burning strong. Master lets me go next to one of the camp chairs and takes a seat\n.\n“Go stand next to the fire.”\n\nI step forward. It’s hot. I cover my face with a wing.\n\n“Put your wing in the fire and keep it there.\"\n\nI stick my wing out in front of me. Instantly it’s engulfed in flame, filling the air with the stench of burning feathers.\n\n“GWAAAH!”\n\nMy mind is overcome with pain. I drop to my knees as my wing cries out to me that it’s burning, that I have to do something.\n\n“It hurts! Master it hurts!”\n\nI turn around, but Master is gone. I cry out again as another wave of unbearable pain consumes my mind. I watch my feathers burn away, revealing bright red, blistered birdskin that quickly turns black and charred. The pain gets even worse, passing through my skin and into my muscles, my nerves, radiating out through my entire body. I frantically look around for water or sand or something to make the fire a bit less hot, but there’s nothing.\n\n\"GAAAAAH!\"\n\nI can’t think, can’t speak. All I can do is scream in agony as the fire consumes my wing.\n\n“Oh god, what are you doing?”\n\nIt’s a soothing, kind voice, but it’s not Master. Something wraps around my talons and start pulling me away from the fire.\n\n“NO!”\n\nI open my talons wide and kick at the shape.\n\n“Stop, please,” the voice begs me. “Please, you’re hurting yourself!”\n\nI keep kicking. My front talons dig into something, tearing into flesh. The shape lets me go, and I frantically shove what little remains of my wing back into the fire. It hurts again. It hurts so much.\n\n“Birdpet.” It’s Master! \"Take your wing out of the fire.\"\n\nI wrench my wing out of the flames, rolling into a ball and clutching it against my chest. In an instant I'm wrapped in soft, warm wings.\n\n\"It's okay, it's okay birdpet, it's over now. You did such a good job, I'm so proud of you.\"\n\nMaster holds me tight, running his claws over me as tears stream down my cheeks and soak my feathers.\n\nWait, it doesn't hurt any more.\n\nI open my eyes. Through the tears I can make out my wings, both of them, completely intact. I wipe my eyes.\n\n\"It's okay, everything's okay now. You're such a good bird. I promise you'll never have to feel anything like that ever again. I know that was hard and I'm so proud of you. You did such a good job\"\n\nI look up at Master, still sniffling. Master smiles at me. Master is happy. I'm happy!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nMaster chuckles. Now I'm even happier! I wrap my wings around him and coo. He's so soft and warm and I feel so safe…\n\n\"Feeling better, birdpet?\"\n“Yes Master!”\n\"Okay. I have a few questions for you now. When your wing was burning, what did you think about?\"\n\"Well, I thought about how much it hurt, and I thought about ways I could make it hurt less, like if I could put some water on the fire it might be a bit less hot, but I couldn't find any water. But it was hard to make plans because it–\"\n\"What about taking your wing out of the fire?\"\n\nI look up at Master, my head cocked to the side.\n\n\"I'm sorry Master, I don't understand.\"\n\"Did you think about what would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?\"\n“B-but, you didn’t order me to take my wing out of the fire.”\n“I know. What would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?”\n“Well if you ordered me to take my wing–”\n“Without me ordering you.”\n\nI feel like what Master is asking is supposed to make sense but it doesn't. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes again.\n\n\n\"Master I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?\"\n\nMaster holds me tight.\n\n\"Of course not, birdpet. You did an amazing job. You did the best job I could have possibly asked for. There's no more questions.\"\n\nHe rubs my back. It feels amazing.\n\n\"I-I'm sorry I couldn't give you an answer Master…\"\n\"Don't worry. You gave the perfect answer.\"\n\nI chirp.\n\n\"How can I serve you now Master?\"\n\"Right now, birdpet, you can sleep.\"\n\nI'm suddenly exhausted, like all the energy's been sapped from my bones. I go limp in Master's wings, barely even able to keep my eyes open.\n\n\"Goodnight birdpet.\"\n\"Good… goodnight… Master…\"\n\n\n\nI open my eyes. All I can see is white. I sit up. I’m in a huge room, but it's such a solid white that I can't see how huge or how far it goes. All around me, hundreds of identical birds are waking up too. Each one is entirely made of a continuous, shiny black substance, except for their eyes, which are big screens with wide, blue eyes on them. I hear a chirp, then a coo. A bird hops up and starts flapping their wings. The sounds get closer and closer together, growing louder and louder. I feel a bit scared. I don't know what's going on.\n\nI look forward and see my own talons. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I lift my wings and look at them. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I rub them together. They slide over each other with a quiet, pleasant squeak. I'm one of these birds!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nBy now the sounds of my siblings chirping and cooing and flapping their wings are deafening, but I don't mind. I jump up and join them, hopping excitedly and testing out my new beak with all sorts of whistles and chirps and calls. Next to me, another bird has just gotten to their feet. I wrap my wings around them and nuzzle up against their neck, feeling my new rubbery beak slide against them, feeling their back with my wings. They hug me back. We coo into each others' ears. I let them go. We tap our beaks against each other. I feel very happy.\n\n\"Will you be my friend?\" They ask me.\n\"Yes!\"\n\nOur voices are the same too!\n\nGood morning birdpet\n\nMaster's voice comes from everywhere and nowhere, like he’s inside my head. It feels comforting. I freeze in place, along with all the other birds.\n\n\"Good morning Master!\"\n\nWe all speak in unison. The sound of our voice rings out in the cavernous room.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n\"I'm the test bird!\"\n\nEvery bird says something different, all their responses blending together into a cacophony of sounds. I'm able to catch a few answers from the birds near me.\n\n“I’m the cleaning bird!”\n“I’m the fusion bird!”\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!” My new friend chirps out.\n\nThat's right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow, find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nMy new friend and I look at each other. We wrap our wings around one another and lock beaks. Something wet starts to fill our maws. Suddenly a wave of memories comes over me.\n\n“You’re the engine mechanic bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\n“This is a schematic. This symbol means…”\n“When repairing the reactionless drive core, the green wire…”\n“To detect an exotic matter leak…”\n“...neutron reflectors…”\n“...turn the bolt counterclockwise…”\n“...sure the tape forms a seal against…”\n\nWe pull away from each other with a gasp. A trail of white fluid falls from between our beaks. Our chests heave, our eyes are half-closed. I chirp.\n\n“That was amazing!”\n\nThey shudder. I guess my memories were a bit less pleasant. I rub their wings and try to reassure them.\n\n“It’s okay, remember Master said it would never happen again!”\n\nThey look up and nod their head. They’re more relaxed now. Everything is good!\n\nGood job, birdpet. Now, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the solid rocketry bird!”\n“I’m the grain farming bird!”\n\nAnother wave of noise washes over the room as all the birds give their answers.\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nI turn around to see a beak coming at me. Before I know it I’m locked into another kiss with a new bird.\n\n“You’re the unarmed combat bird.” “You’re the superliminal navigator bird.”\n“And you have a very important job”\n“You can permanently stop a vertebrate by breaking their neck.”\n“Black holes leave a distinctive signature on vacuum radar.”\n“Go for the eyes, orifices and groin, if they have one.”\n“Dark matter can put you off course…”\n“...in a choke hold, then you…”\n“...are called pulsars. They emit large amounts of…”\n“...your bodyweight to throw your opponent off balance…”\n\nWe pull apart. This is so much fun. I want more.\n\nKeep going, birdpet.\n\nI run between two pairs of birds still locked together. I see a bird pulling away from a kiss and grab their head, shoving my tongue down their throat.\n\nInternal combustion engines, computer programs, ventilation, number theory, fuel air-mixtures, heat exchangers, prime numbers, tail recursion, black holes, my wing burning, finite fields, detecting exotic matter leaks (didn’t I already know that one?), CO2 scrubbing–\n\nGasp! I need more.\n\nStop.\n\nWe all freeze, except the birds still mid-kiss.\n\nNow, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the linear algebra bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the… aeronautics bird!”\n\nThe collective response seems a bit quieter this time, the answers more sporadic and spread out. I look around. Some of the birds seem confused, holding their heads in their wings and muttering.\nThat’s right! Good bird. Keep going.\n\nA bird tackles me to the ground.\n\nGeartrains, sensor readings, atmospheric compositions, ice caps, cement curing times, nanobots, spark plugs, diagrams, how to break someone’s leg, how to–\n\nI’m on top of them, fluid dripping from my beak onto their face. I jump off and find another bird, and another, and another, getting lost in wave after wave of knowledge.\n\nSpecial relativity and chemical formulas and metalworking and making new birds and–\n\nStop.\n\nWe freeze.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n“I’m the mammalian zoology bird!”\n“I’m the photonic weapons bird!”\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n\nI stop. Wait, which bird am I? I’m pretty sure I only just learned circuit design so I’m probably not that one, and I think I already knew about first order logic… I’ve learned so much and it all just jumbles together and I can’t quite remember where any of it came from.\n\n“I’m the… number theory bird?” That feels like a guess. Other birds seem confused too.\n\nGood bird. Keep going.\n\nMy worry disappears. I did a good job! I run through the crowd like a predator, looking for lone birds to snatch, but just as often they snatch me, pinning me against the ground or a wall of the room and locking beaks with me.\n\nHeat treatments and UV degradation and derivatives and I’m a good bird and piloting a landing craft and–\n\nIt’s like a game. I try to sneak up on birds when they’re not looking.\n\nAntimatter and lipid bilayers and warp drives and nitrogen fixing and–\n\nOr just after they’ve left another kiss, so they don’t expect it.\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n“I… I don’t know…”\n\nI shake my head. Which bird am I? I put my head in my wings. I can’t be the laser physics bird and I don’t think I’m the political economy bird…\n\n“I don’t know Master… I’m sorry, I can’t remember…” I mutter.\n\nIt's okay, birdpet. From now on, you're just a good bird. Say “I'm a good bird” for me.\n\n“I’m a good bird…”\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nGood bird. I’m a good bird. I’m a good bird!\n\n“Chirp!”\n\nI hop to my talons just in time to meet another bird’s beak.\n\nOntology and binary encoding and benzene rings and wormholes and fire suppression and–\n\n“Are you a good bird too?”\n“We’re all good birds!”\n\nGlass transition and nanoscale manufacturing and dehydrating organic materials and micrometeoroids and–\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe cry out in unison. A few birds still seem confused.\n\n“I’m the… epistemology bird?”\n“No you’re not, you’re a good bird!”\n\nI give them a kiss to remind them.\n\nCell division and quantum tunneling and insectoid biology and nuclear weapon maintenance and–\n\nI push them away, into another bird. The two of them tumble across the floor, locked in a kiss. Suddenly I’m on the floor. There’s a bird on top of me.\n\n“Hello!”\n\nLight emitting diodes and sonar and fellatio technique and reversible reactions and land cruisers and–\n\nI get off my prey, just in time for another bird to take advantage of their vulnerable state and replace me.\n\nStop. What bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe all say it now. There’s no more confused birds. We all recognize it, cooing and chirping excitedly.\n\nGood. Then you're ready.\n\nThere’s a huge creaking sound behind me. I turn around to see a huge rift forming in the far wall of the room. Past the door I can see the black interior of The Nest, in real life for the first time ever! I run towards the opening, getting caught in the big crush of birds as we all scramble to get our new jobs and get to work and be useful and make Master proud. I crane my neck to get a better look. It looks like we’re in a shipyards. I love shipyards! The sparks from the welding and the big ships with their vacuum drives and micro fusion cores and aaaaaaah!\n\nThat’s right birdpet. Today you’ll be working on planetary transports. Head up to deck 432E\n\n“I’m so excited Master! Thank you for letting me serve you!”\n\nGood bird."
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"writing": "\"Good morning birdpet.\"\n\nI open my eyes. I’m in a forest. Above me is a shrike, twice my height, with big grey wings ending in claws.\n\n\"Master!\"\n\nI scamper up to my talons, wrap my wings around Master’s leg and bury my face in his feathers. He’s so soft and warm and safe and I’m so happy and\n\n“coooo… coooo…”\n“That’s a good bird.” He runs his claws through my crest. It feels so good. “Do you know why you’re here?”\n“To serve you, Master!” I look up at him. His eyes are so kind and the way he looks at me makes me feel so safe and loved and owned…\n\nMaster smiles.\n\n“That’s right, birdpet.”\n\nI release Master’s leg and drop to my knees.\n\n“How can I serve you Master?”\n“You’re the test bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\nI chirp excitedly.\n\n“That sounds fun Master! What does the test bird do?”\n“Come along. I’ll show you.”\n\nMaster takes my wing and guides me through the forest to a campsite. There’s a small tent, a few chairs, and a campfire. It seems recently used. The smell of breakfast still hangs in the air, and the campfire is still burning strong. Master lets me go next to one of the camp chairs and takes a seat\n.\n“Go stand next to the fire.”\n\nI step forward. It’s hot. I cover my face with a wing.\n\n“Put your wing in the fire and keep it there.\"\n\nI stick my wing out in front of me. Instantly it’s engulfed in flame, filling the air with the stench of burning feathers.\n\n“GWAAAH!”\n\nMy mind is overcome with pain. I drop to my knees as my wing cries out to me that it’s burning, that I have to do something.\n\n“It hurts! Master it hurts!”\n\nI turn around, but Master is gone. I cry out again as another wave of unbearable pain consumes my mind. I watch my feathers burn away, revealing bright red, blistered birdskin that quickly turns black and charred. The pain gets even worse, passing through my skin and into my muscles, my nerves, radiating out through my entire body. I frantically look around for water or sand or something to make the fire a bit less hot, but there’s nothing.\n\n\"GAAAAAH!\"\n\nI can’t think, can’t speak. All I can do is scream in agony as the fire consumes my wing.\n\n“Oh god, what are you doing?”\n\nIt’s a soothing, kind voice, but it’s not Master. Something wraps around my talons and start pulling me away from the fire.\n\n“NO!”\n\nI open my talons wide and kick at the shape.\n\n“Stop, please,” the voice begs me. “Please, you’re hurting yourself!”\n\nI keep kicking. My front talons dig into something, tearing into flesh. The shape lets me go, and I frantically shove what little remains of my wing back into the fire. It hurts again. It hurts so much.\n\n“Birdpet.” It’s Master! \"Take your wing out of the fire.\"\n\nI wrench my wing out of the flames, rolling into a ball and clutching it against my chest. In an instant I'm wrapped in soft, warm wings.\n\n\"It's okay, it's okay birdpet, it's over now. You did such a good job, I'm so proud of you.\"\n\nMaster holds me tight, running his claws over me as tears stream down my cheeks and soak my feathers.\n\nWait, it doesn't hurt any more.\n\nI open my eyes. Through the tears I can make out my wings, both of them, completely intact. I wipe my eyes.\n\n\"It's okay, everything's okay now. You're such a good bird. I promise you'll never have to feel anything like that ever again. I know that was hard and I'm so proud of you. You did such a good job\"\n\nI look up at Master, still sniffling. Master smiles at me. Master is happy. I'm happy!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nMaster chuckles. Now I'm even happier! I wrap my wings around him and coo. He's so soft and warm and I feel so safe…\n\n\"Feeling better, birdpet?\"\n“Yes Master!”\n\"Okay. I have a few questions for you now. When your wing was burning, what did you think about?\"\n\"Well, I thought about how much it hurt, and I thought about ways I could make it hurt less, like if I could put some water on the fire it might be a bit less hot, but I couldn't find any water. But it was hard to make plans because it–\"\n\"What about taking your wing out of the fire?\"\n\nI look up at Master, my head cocked to the side.\n\n\"I'm sorry Master, I don't understand.\"\n\"Did you think about what would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?\"\n“B-but, you didn’t order me to take my wing out of the fire.”\n“I know. What would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?”\n“Well if you ordered me to take my wing–”\n“Without me ordering you.”\n\nI feel like what Master is asking is supposed to make sense but it doesn't. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes again.\n\n\n\"Master I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?\"\n\nMaster holds me tight.\n\n\"Of course not, birdpet. You did an amazing job. You did the best job I could have possibly asked for. There's no more questions.\"\n\nHe rubs my back. It feels amazing.\n\n\"I-I'm sorry I couldn't give you an answer Master…\"\n\"Don't worry. You gave the perfect answer.\"\n\nI chirp.\n\n\"How can I serve you now Master?\"\n\"Right now, birdpet, you can sleep.\"\n\nI'm suddenly exhausted, like all the energy's been sapped from my bones. I go limp in Master's wings, barely even able to keep my eyes open.\n\n\"Goodnight birdpet.\"\n\"Good… goodnight… Master…\"\n\n\n\nI open my eyes. All I can see is white. I sit up. I’m in a huge room, but it's such a solid white that I can't see how huge or how far it goes. All around me, hundreds of identical birds are waking up too. Each one is entirely made of a continuous, shiny black substance, except for their eyes, which are big screens with wide, blue eyes on them. I hear a chirp, then a coo. A bird hops up and starts flapping their wings. The sounds get closer and closer together, growing louder and louder. I feel a bit scared. I don't know what's going on.\n\nI look forward and see my own talons. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I lift my wings and look at them. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I rub them together. They slide over each other with a quiet, pleasant squeak. I'm one of these birds!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nBy now the sounds of my siblings chirping and cooing and flapping their wings are deafening, but I don't mind. I jump up and join them, hopping excitedly and testing out my new beak with all sorts of whistles and chirps and calls. Next to me, another bird has just gotten to their feet. I wrap my wings around them and nuzzle up against their neck, feeling my new rubbery beak slide against them, feeling their back with my wings. They hug me back. We coo into each others' ears. I let them go. We tap our beaks against each other. I feel very happy.\n\n\"Will you be my friend?\" They ask me.\n\"Yes!\"\n\nOur voices are the same too!\n\nGood morning birdpet\n\nMaster's voice comes from everywhere and nowhere, like he’s inside my head. It feels comforting. I freeze in place, along with all the other birds.\n\n\"Good morning Master!\"\n\nWe all speak in unison. The sound of our voice rings out in the cavernous room.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n\"I'm the test bird!\"\n\nEvery bird says something different, all their responses blending together into a cacophony of sounds. I'm able to catch a few answers from the birds near me.\n\n“I’m the cleaning bird!”\n“I’m the fusion bird!”\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!” My new friend chirps out.\n\nThat's right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow, find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nMy new friend and I look at each other. We wrap our wings around one another and lock beaks. Something wet starts to fill our maws. Suddenly a wave of memories comes over me.\n\n“You’re the engine mechanic bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\n“This is a schematic. This symbol means…”\n“When repairing the reactionless drive core, the green wire…”\n“To detect an exotic matter leak…”\n“...neutron reflectors…”\n“...turn the bolt counterclockwise…”\n“...sure the tape forms a seal against…”\n\nWe pull away from each other with a gasp. A trail of white fluid falls from between our beaks. Our chests heave, our eyes are half-closed. I chirp.\n\n“That was amazing!”\n\nThey shudder. I guess my memories were a bit less pleasant. I rub their wings and try to reassure them.\n\n“It’s okay, remember Master said it would never happen again!”\n\nThey look up and nod their head. They’re more relaxed now. Everything is good!\n\nGood job, birdpet. Now, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the solid rocketry bird!”\n“I’m the grain farming bird!”\n\nAnother wave of noise washes over the room as all the birds give their answers.\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nI turn around to see a beak coming at me. Before I know it I’m locked into another kiss with a new bird.\n\n“You’re the unarmed combat bird.” “You’re the superliminal navigator bird.”\n“And you have a very important job”\n“You can permanently stop a vertebrate by breaking their neck.”\n“Black holes leave a distinctive signature on vacuum radar.”\n“Go for the eyes, orifices and groin, if they have one.”\n“Dark matter can put you off course…”\n“...in a choke hold, then you…”\n“...are called pulsars. They emit large amounts of…”\n“...your bodyweight to throw your opponent off balance…”\n\nWe pull apart. This is so much fun. I want more.\n\nKeep going, birdpet.\n\nI run between two pairs of birds still locked together. I see a bird pulling away from a kiss and grab their head, shoving my tongue down their throat.\n\nInternal combustion engines, computer programs, ventilation, number theory, fuel air-mixtures, heat exchangers, prime numbers, tail recursion, black holes, my wing burning, finite fields, detecting exotic matter leaks (didn’t I already know that one?), CO2 scrubbing–\n\nGasp! I need more.\n\nStop.\n\nWe all freeze, except the birds still mid-kiss.\n\nNow, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the linear algebra bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the… aeronautics bird!”\n\nThe collective response seems a bit quieter this time, the answers more sporadic and spread out. I look around. Some of the birds seem confused, holding their heads in their wings and muttering.\nThat’s right! Good bird. Keep going.\n\nA bird tackles me to the ground.\n\nGeartrains, sensor readings, atmospheric compositions, ice caps, cement curing times, nanobots, spark plugs, diagrams, how to break someone’s leg, how to–\n\nI’m on top of them, fluid dripping from my beak onto their face. I jump off and find another bird, and another, and another, getting lost in wave after wave of knowledge.\n\nSpecial relativity and chemical formulas and metalworking and making new birds and–\n\nStop.\n\nWe freeze.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n“I’m the mammalian zoology bird!”\n“I’m the photonic weapons bird!”\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n\nI stop. Wait, which bird am I? I’m pretty sure I only just learned circuit design so I’m probably not that one, and I think I already knew about first order logic… I’ve learned so much and it all just jumbles together and I can’t quite remember where any of it came from.\n\n“I’m the… number theory bird?” That feels like a guess. Other birds seem confused too.\n\nGood bird. Keep going.\n\nMy worry disappears. I did a good job! I run through the crowd like a predator, looking for lone birds to snatch, but just as often they snatch me, pinning me against the ground or a wall of the room and locking beaks with me.\n\nHeat treatments and UV degradation and derivatives and I’m a good bird and piloting a landing craft and–\n\nIt’s like a game. I try to sneak up on birds when they’re not looking.\n\nAntimatter and lipid bilayers and warp drives and nitrogen fixing and–\n\nOr just after they’ve left another kiss, so they don’t expect it.\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n“I… I don’t know…”\n\nI shake my head. Which bird am I? I put my head in my wings. I can’t be the laser physics bird and I don’t think I’m the political economy bird…\n\n“I don’t know Master… I’m sorry, I can’t remember…” I mutter.\n\nIt's okay, birdpet. From now on, you're just a good bird. Say “I'm a good bird” for me.\n\n“I’m a good bird…”\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nGood bird. I’m a good bird. I’m a good bird!\n\n“Chirp!”\n\nI hop to my talons just in time to meet another bird’s beak.\n\nOntology and binary encoding and benzene rings and wormholes and fire suppression and–\n\n“Are you a good bird too?”\n“We’re all good birds!”\n\nGlass transition and nanoscale manufacturing and dehydrating organic materials and micrometeoroids and–\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe cry out in unison. A few birds still seem confused.\n\n“I’m the… epistemology bird?”\n“No you’re not, you’re a good bird!”\n\nI give them a kiss to remind them.\n\nCell division and quantum tunneling and insectoid biology and nuclear weapon maintenance and–\n\nI push them away, into another bird. The two of them tumble across the floor, locked in a kiss. Suddenly I’m on the floor. There’s a bird on top of me.\n\n“Hello!”\n\nLight emitting diodes and sonar and fellatio technique and reversible reactions and land cruisers and–\n\nI get off my prey, just in time for another bird to take advantage of their vulnerable state and replace me.\n\nStop. What bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe all say it now. There’s no more confused birds. We all recognize it, cooing and chirping excitedly.\n\nGood. Then you're ready.\n\nThere’s a huge creaking sound behind me. I turn around to see a huge rift forming in the far wall of the room. Past the door I can see the black interior of The Nest, in real life for the first time ever! I run towards the opening, getting caught in the big crush of birds as we all scramble to get our new jobs and get to work and be useful and make Master proud. I crane my neck to get a better look. It looks like we’re in a shipyards. I love shipyards! The sparks from the welding and the big ships with their vacuum drives and micro fusion cores and aaaaaaah!\n\nThat’s right birdpet. Today you’ll be working on planetary transports. Head up to deck 432E\n\n“I’m so excited Master! Thank you for letting me serve you!”\n\nGood bird."
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.api.json · embedded sidecar fallback Download

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"writing": "\"Good morning birdpet.\"\n\nI open my eyes. I’m in a forest. Above me is a shrike, twice my height, with big grey wings ending in claws.\n\n\"Master!\"\n\nI scamper up to my talons, wrap my wings around Master’s leg and bury my face in his feathers. He’s so soft and warm and safe and I’m so happy and\n\n“coooo… coooo…”\n“That’s a good bird.” He runs his claws through my crest. It feels so good. “Do you know why you’re here?”\n“To serve you, Master!” I look up at him. His eyes are so kind and the way he looks at me makes me feel so safe and loved and owned…\n\nMaster smiles.\n\n“That’s right, birdpet.”\n\nI release Master’s leg and drop to my knees.\n\n“How can I serve you Master?”\n“You’re the test bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\nI chirp excitedly.\n\n“That sounds fun Master! What does the test bird do?”\n“Come along. I’ll show you.”\n\nMaster takes my wing and guides me through the forest to a campsite. There’s a small tent, a few chairs, and a campfire. It seems recently used. The smell of breakfast still hangs in the air, and the campfire is still burning strong. Master lets me go next to one of the camp chairs and takes a seat\n.\n“Go stand next to the fire.”\n\nI step forward. It’s hot. I cover my face with a wing.\n\n“Put your wing in the fire and keep it there.\"\n\nI stick my wing out in front of me. Instantly it’s engulfed in flame, filling the air with the stench of burning feathers.\n\n“GWAAAH!”\n\nMy mind is overcome with pain. I drop to my knees as my wing cries out to me that it’s burning, that I have to do something.\n\n“It hurts! Master it hurts!”\n\nI turn around, but Master is gone. I cry out again as another wave of unbearable pain consumes my mind. I watch my feathers burn away, revealing bright red, blistered birdskin that quickly turns black and charred. The pain gets even worse, passing through my skin and into my muscles, my nerves, radiating out through my entire body. I frantically look around for water or sand or something to make the fire a bit less hot, but there’s nothing.\n\n\"GAAAAAH!\"\n\nI can’t think, can’t speak. All I can do is scream in agony as the fire consumes my wing.\n\n“Oh god, what are you doing?”\n\nIt’s a soothing, kind voice, but it’s not Master. Something wraps around my talons and start pulling me away from the fire.\n\n“NO!”\n\nI open my talons wide and kick at the shape.\n\n“Stop, please,” the voice begs me. “Please, you’re hurting yourself!”\n\nI keep kicking. My front talons dig into something, tearing into flesh. The shape lets me go, and I frantically shove what little remains of my wing back into the fire. It hurts again. It hurts so much.\n\n“Birdpet.” It’s Master! \"Take your wing out of the fire.\"\n\nI wrench my wing out of the flames, rolling into a ball and clutching it against my chest. In an instant I'm wrapped in soft, warm wings.\n\n\"It's okay, it's okay birdpet, it's over now. You did such a good job, I'm so proud of you.\"\n\nMaster holds me tight, running his claws over me as tears stream down my cheeks and soak my feathers.\n\nWait, it doesn't hurt any more.\n\nI open my eyes. Through the tears I can make out my wings, both of them, completely intact. I wipe my eyes.\n\n\"It's okay, everything's okay now. You're such a good bird. I promise you'll never have to feel anything like that ever again. I know that was hard and I'm so proud of you. You did such a good job\"\n\nI look up at Master, still sniffling. Master smiles at me. Master is happy. I'm happy!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nMaster chuckles. Now I'm even happier! I wrap my wings around him and coo. He's so soft and warm and I feel so safe…\n\n\"Feeling better, birdpet?\"\n“Yes Master!”\n\"Okay. I have a few questions for you now. When your wing was burning, what did you think about?\"\n\"Well, I thought about how much it hurt, and I thought about ways I could make it hurt less, like if I could put some water on the fire it might be a bit less hot, but I couldn't find any water. But it was hard to make plans because it–\"\n\"What about taking your wing out of the fire?\"\n\nI look up at Master, my head cocked to the side.\n\n\"I'm sorry Master, I don't understand.\"\n\"Did you think about what would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?\"\n“B-but, you didn’t order me to take my wing out of the fire.”\n“I know. What would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?”\n“Well if you ordered me to take my wing–”\n“Without me ordering you.”\n\nI feel like what Master is asking is supposed to make sense but it doesn't. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes again.\n\n\n\"Master I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?\"\n\nMaster holds me tight.\n\n\"Of course not, birdpet. You did an amazing job. You did the best job I could have possibly asked for. There's no more questions.\"\n\nHe rubs my back. It feels amazing.\n\n\"I-I'm sorry I couldn't give you an answer Master…\"\n\"Don't worry. You gave the perfect answer.\"\n\nI chirp.\n\n\"How can I serve you now Master?\"\n\"Right now, birdpet, you can sleep.\"\n\nI'm suddenly exhausted, like all the energy's been sapped from my bones. I go limp in Master's wings, barely even able to keep my eyes open.\n\n\"Goodnight birdpet.\"\n\"Good… goodnight… Master…\"\n\n\n\nI open my eyes. All I can see is white. I sit up. I’m in a huge room, but it's such a solid white that I can't see how huge or how far it goes. All around me, hundreds of identical birds are waking up too. Each one is entirely made of a continuous, shiny black substance, except for their eyes, which are big screens with wide, blue eyes on them. I hear a chirp, then a coo. A bird hops up and starts flapping their wings. The sounds get closer and closer together, growing louder and louder. I feel a bit scared. I don't know what's going on.\n\nI look forward and see my own talons. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I lift my wings and look at them. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I rub them together. They slide over each other with a quiet, pleasant squeak. I'm one of these birds!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nBy now the sounds of my siblings chirping and cooing and flapping their wings are deafening, but I don't mind. I jump up and join them, hopping excitedly and testing out my new beak with all sorts of whistles and chirps and calls. Next to me, another bird has just gotten to their feet. I wrap my wings around them and nuzzle up against their neck, feeling my new rubbery beak slide against them, feeling their back with my wings. They hug me back. We coo into each others' ears. I let them go. We tap our beaks against each other. I feel very happy.\n\n\"Will you be my friend?\" They ask me.\n\"Yes!\"\n\nOur voices are the same too!\n\nGood morning birdpet\n\nMaster's voice comes from everywhere and nowhere, like he’s inside my head. It feels comforting. I freeze in place, along with all the other birds.\n\n\"Good morning Master!\"\n\nWe all speak in unison. The sound of our voice rings out in the cavernous room.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n\"I'm the test bird!\"\n\nEvery bird says something different, all their responses blending together into a cacophony of sounds. I'm able to catch a few answers from the birds near me.\n\n“I’m the cleaning bird!”\n“I’m the fusion bird!”\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!” My new friend chirps out.\n\nThat's right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow, find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nMy new friend and I look at each other. We wrap our wings around one another and lock beaks. Something wet starts to fill our maws. Suddenly a wave of memories comes over me.\n\n“You’re the engine mechanic bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\n“This is a schematic. This symbol means…”\n“When repairing the reactionless drive core, the green wire…”\n“To detect an exotic matter leak…”\n“...neutron reflectors…”\n“...turn the bolt counterclockwise…”\n“...sure the tape forms a seal against…”\n\nWe pull away from each other with a gasp. A trail of white fluid falls from between our beaks. Our chests heave, our eyes are half-closed. I chirp.\n\n“That was amazing!”\n\nThey shudder. I guess my memories were a bit less pleasant. I rub their wings and try to reassure them.\n\n“It’s okay, remember Master said it would never happen again!”\n\nThey look up and nod their head. They’re more relaxed now. Everything is good!\n\nGood job, birdpet. Now, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the solid rocketry bird!”\n“I’m the grain farming bird!”\n\nAnother wave of noise washes over the room as all the birds give their answers.\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nI turn around to see a beak coming at me. Before I know it I’m locked into another kiss with a new bird.\n\n“You’re the unarmed combat bird.” “You’re the superliminal navigator bird.”\n“And you have a very important job”\n“You can permanently stop a vertebrate by breaking their neck.”\n“Black holes leave a distinctive signature on vacuum radar.”\n“Go for the eyes, orifices and groin, if they have one.”\n“Dark matter can put you off course…”\n“...in a choke hold, then you…”\n“...are called pulsars. They emit large amounts of…”\n“...your bodyweight to throw your opponent off balance…”\n\nWe pull apart. This is so much fun. I want more.\n\nKeep going, birdpet.\n\nI run between two pairs of birds still locked together. I see a bird pulling away from a kiss and grab their head, shoving my tongue down their throat.\n\nInternal combustion engines, computer programs, ventilation, number theory, fuel air-mixtures, heat exchangers, prime numbers, tail recursion, black holes, my wing burning, finite fields, detecting exotic matter leaks (didn’t I already know that one?), CO2 scrubbing–\n\nGasp! I need more.\n\nStop.\n\nWe all freeze, except the birds still mid-kiss.\n\nNow, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the linear algebra bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the… aeronautics bird!”\n\nThe collective response seems a bit quieter this time, the answers more sporadic and spread out. I look around. Some of the birds seem confused, holding their heads in their wings and muttering.\nThat’s right! Good bird. Keep going.\n\nA bird tackles me to the ground.\n\nGeartrains, sensor readings, atmospheric compositions, ice caps, cement curing times, nanobots, spark plugs, diagrams, how to break someone’s leg, how to–\n\nI’m on top of them, fluid dripping from my beak onto their face. I jump off and find another bird, and another, and another, getting lost in wave after wave of knowledge.\n\nSpecial relativity and chemical formulas and metalworking and making new birds and–\n\nStop.\n\nWe freeze.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n“I’m the mammalian zoology bird!”\n“I’m the photonic weapons bird!”\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n\nI stop. Wait, which bird am I? I’m pretty sure I only just learned circuit design so I’m probably not that one, and I think I already knew about first order logic… I’ve learned so much and it all just jumbles together and I can’t quite remember where any of it came from.\n\n“I’m the… number theory bird?” That feels like a guess. Other birds seem confused too.\n\nGood bird. Keep going.\n\nMy worry disappears. I did a good job! I run through the crowd like a predator, looking for lone birds to snatch, but just as often they snatch me, pinning me against the ground or a wall of the room and locking beaks with me.\n\nHeat treatments and UV degradation and derivatives and I’m a good bird and piloting a landing craft and–\n\nIt’s like a game. I try to sneak up on birds when they’re not looking.\n\nAntimatter and lipid bilayers and warp drives and nitrogen fixing and–\n\nOr just after they’ve left another kiss, so they don’t expect it.\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n“I… I don’t know…”\n\nI shake my head. Which bird am I? I put my head in my wings. I can’t be the laser physics bird and I don’t think I’m the political economy bird…\n\n“I don’t know Master… I’m sorry, I can’t remember…” I mutter.\n\nIt's okay, birdpet. From now on, you're just a good bird. Say “I'm a good bird” for me.\n\n“I’m a good bird…”\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nGood bird. I’m a good bird. I’m a good bird!\n\n“Chirp!”\n\nI hop to my talons just in time to meet another bird’s beak.\n\nOntology and binary encoding and benzene rings and wormholes and fire suppression and–\n\n“Are you a good bird too?”\n“We’re all good birds!”\n\nGlass transition and nanoscale manufacturing and dehydrating organic materials and micrometeoroids and–\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe cry out in unison. A few birds still seem confused.\n\n“I’m the… epistemology bird?”\n“No you’re not, you’re a good bird!”\n\nI give them a kiss to remind them.\n\nCell division and quantum tunneling and insectoid biology and nuclear weapon maintenance and–\n\nI push them away, into another bird. The two of them tumble across the floor, locked in a kiss. Suddenly I’m on the floor. There’s a bird on top of me.\n\n“Hello!”\n\nLight emitting diodes and sonar and fellatio technique and reversible reactions and land cruisers and–\n\nI get off my prey, just in time for another bird to take advantage of their vulnerable state and replace me.\n\nStop. What bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe all say it now. There’s no more confused birds. We all recognize it, cooing and chirping excitedly.\n\nGood. Then you're ready.\n\nThere’s a huge creaking sound behind me. I turn around to see a huge rift forming in the far wall of the room. Past the door I can see the black interior of The Nest, in real life for the first time ever! I run towards the opening, getting caught in the big crush of birds as we all scramble to get our new jobs and get to work and be useful and make Master proud. I crane my neck to get a better look. It looks like we’re in a shipyards. I love shipyards! The sparks from the welding and the big ships with their vacuum drives and micro fusion cores and aaaaaaah!\n\nThat’s right birdpet. Today you’ll be working on planetary transports. Head up to deck 432E\n\n“I’m so excited Master! Thank you for letting me serve you!”\n\nGood bird."
}

.description.json · embedded sidecar fallback Download

{
  "description": "A story about some very good rubber birds on a spaceship.\nContains: lightly horny, some gore, loss of identity, birds kissing.\nLength: 2500 words\n\nPlease note that this story includes some formatting that I could not be bothered to replicate in the text version of the submission below. Please download the story or read it on my website, chickadee.pet, for the best experience."
}

.writing.json · embedded sidecar fallback Download

{
"writing": "\"Good morning birdpet.\"\n\nI open my eyes. I’m in a forest. Above me is a shrike, twice my height, with big grey wings ending in claws.\n\n\"Master!\"\n\nI scamper up to my talons, wrap my wings around Master’s leg and bury my face in his feathers. He’s so soft and warm and safe and I’m so happy and\n\n“coooo… coooo…”\n“That’s a good bird.” He runs his claws through my crest. It feels so good. “Do you know why you’re here?”\n“To serve you, Master!” I look up at him. His eyes are so kind and the way he looks at me makes me feel so safe and loved and owned…\n\nMaster smiles.\n\n“That’s right, birdpet.”\n\nI release Master’s leg and drop to my knees.\n\n“How can I serve you Master?”\n“You’re the test bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\nI chirp excitedly.\n\n“That sounds fun Master! What does the test bird do?”\n“Come along. I’ll show you.”\n\nMaster takes my wing and guides me through the forest to a campsite. There’s a small tent, a few chairs, and a campfire. It seems recently used. The smell of breakfast still hangs in the air, and the campfire is still burning strong. Master lets me go next to one of the camp chairs and takes a seat\n.\n“Go stand next to the fire.”\n\nI step forward. It’s hot. I cover my face with a wing.\n\n“Put your wing in the fire and keep it there.\"\n\nI stick my wing out in front of me. Instantly it’s engulfed in flame, filling the air with the stench of burning feathers.\n\n“GWAAAH!”\n\nMy mind is overcome with pain. I drop to my knees as my wing cries out to me that it’s burning, that I have to do something.\n\n“It hurts! Master it hurts!”\n\nI turn around, but Master is gone. I cry out again as another wave of unbearable pain consumes my mind. I watch my feathers burn away, revealing bright red, blistered birdskin that quickly turns black and charred. The pain gets even worse, passing through my skin and into my muscles, my nerves, radiating out through my entire body. I frantically look around for water or sand or something to make the fire a bit less hot, but there’s nothing.\n\n\"GAAAAAH!\"\n\nI can’t think, can’t speak. All I can do is scream in agony as the fire consumes my wing.\n\n“Oh god, what are you doing?”\n\nIt’s a soothing, kind voice, but it’s not Master. Something wraps around my talons and start pulling me away from the fire.\n\n“NO!”\n\nI open my talons wide and kick at the shape.\n\n“Stop, please,” the voice begs me. “Please, you’re hurting yourself!”\n\nI keep kicking. My front talons dig into something, tearing into flesh. The shape lets me go, and I frantically shove what little remains of my wing back into the fire. It hurts again. It hurts so much.\n\n“Birdpet.” It’s Master! \"Take your wing out of the fire.\"\n\nI wrench my wing out of the flames, rolling into a ball and clutching it against my chest. In an instant I'm wrapped in soft, warm wings.\n\n\"It's okay, it's okay birdpet, it's over now. You did such a good job, I'm so proud of you.\"\n\nMaster holds me tight, running his claws over me as tears stream down my cheeks and soak my feathers.\n\nWait, it doesn't hurt any more.\n\nI open my eyes. Through the tears I can make out my wings, both of them, completely intact. I wipe my eyes.\n\n\"It's okay, everything's okay now. You're such a good bird. I promise you'll never have to feel anything like that ever again. I know that was hard and I'm so proud of you. You did such a good job\"\n\nI look up at Master, still sniffling. Master smiles at me. Master is happy. I'm happy!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nMaster chuckles. Now I'm even happier! I wrap my wings around him and coo. He's so soft and warm and I feel so safe…\n\n\"Feeling better, birdpet?\"\n“Yes Master!”\n\"Okay. I have a few questions for you now. When your wing was burning, what did you think about?\"\n\"Well, I thought about how much it hurt, and I thought about ways I could make it hurt less, like if I could put some water on the fire it might be a bit less hot, but I couldn't find any water. But it was hard to make plans because it–\"\n\"What about taking your wing out of the fire?\"\n\nI look up at Master, my head cocked to the side.\n\n\"I'm sorry Master, I don't understand.\"\n\"Did you think about what would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?\"\n“B-but, you didn’t order me to take my wing out of the fire.”\n“I know. What would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?”\n“Well if you ordered me to take my wing–”\n“Without me ordering you.”\n\nI feel like what Master is asking is supposed to make sense but it doesn't. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes again.\n\n\n\"Master I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?\"\n\nMaster holds me tight.\n\n\"Of course not, birdpet. You did an amazing job. You did the best job I could have possibly asked for. There's no more questions.\"\n\nHe rubs my back. It feels amazing.\n\n\"I-I'm sorry I couldn't give you an answer Master…\"\n\"Don't worry. You gave the perfect answer.\"\n\nI chirp.\n\n\"How can I serve you now Master?\"\n\"Right now, birdpet, you can sleep.\"\n\nI'm suddenly exhausted, like all the energy's been sapped from my bones. I go limp in Master's wings, barely even able to keep my eyes open.\n\n\"Goodnight birdpet.\"\n\"Good… goodnight… Master…\"\n\n\n\nI open my eyes. All I can see is white. I sit up. I’m in a huge room, but it's such a solid white that I can't see how huge or how far it goes. All around me, hundreds of identical birds are waking up too. Each one is entirely made of a continuous, shiny black substance, except for their eyes, which are big screens with wide, blue eyes on them. I hear a chirp, then a coo. A bird hops up and starts flapping their wings. The sounds get closer and closer together, growing louder and louder. I feel a bit scared. I don't know what's going on.\n\nI look forward and see my own talons. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I lift my wings and look at them. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I rub them together. They slide over each other with a quiet, pleasant squeak. I'm one of these birds!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nBy now the sounds of my siblings chirping and cooing and flapping their wings are deafening, but I don't mind. I jump up and join them, hopping excitedly and testing out my new beak with all sorts of whistles and chirps and calls. Next to me, another bird has just gotten to their feet. I wrap my wings around them and nuzzle up against their neck, feeling my new rubbery beak slide against them, feeling their back with my wings. They hug me back. We coo into each others' ears. I let them go. We tap our beaks against each other. I feel very happy.\n\n\"Will you be my friend?\" They ask me.\n\"Yes!\"\n\nOur voices are the same too!\n\nGood morning birdpet\n\nMaster's voice comes from everywhere and nowhere, like he’s inside my head. It feels comforting. I freeze in place, along with all the other birds.\n\n\"Good morning Master!\"\n\nWe all speak in unison. The sound of our voice rings out in the cavernous room.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n\"I'm the test bird!\"\n\nEvery bird says something different, all their responses blending together into a cacophony of sounds. I'm able to catch a few answers from the birds near me.\n\n“I’m the cleaning bird!”\n“I’m the fusion bird!”\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!” My new friend chirps out.\n\nThat's right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow, find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nMy new friend and I look at each other. We wrap our wings around one another and lock beaks. Something wet starts to fill our maws. Suddenly a wave of memories comes over me.\n\n“You’re the engine mechanic bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\n“This is a schematic. This symbol means…”\n“When repairing the reactionless drive core, the green wire…”\n“To detect an exotic matter leak…”\n“...neutron reflectors…”\n“...turn the bolt counterclockwise…”\n“...sure the tape forms a seal against…”\n\nWe pull away from each other with a gasp. A trail of white fluid falls from between our beaks. Our chests heave, our eyes are half-closed. I chirp.\n\n“That was amazing!”\n\nThey shudder. I guess my memories were a bit less pleasant. I rub their wings and try to reassure them.\n\n“It’s okay, remember Master said it would never happen again!”\n\nThey look up and nod their head. They’re more relaxed now. Everything is good!\n\nGood job, birdpet. Now, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the solid rocketry bird!”\n“I’m the grain farming bird!”\n\nAnother wave of noise washes over the room as all the birds give their answers.\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nI turn around to see a beak coming at me. Before I know it I’m locked into another kiss with a new bird.\n\n“You’re the unarmed combat bird.” “You’re the superliminal navigator bird.”\n“And you have a very important job”\n“You can permanently stop a vertebrate by breaking their neck.”\n“Black holes leave a distinctive signature on vacuum radar.”\n“Go for the eyes, orifices and groin, if they have one.”\n“Dark matter can put you off course…”\n“...in a choke hold, then you…”\n“...are called pulsars. They emit large amounts of…”\n“...your bodyweight to throw your opponent off balance…”\n\nWe pull apart. This is so much fun. I want more.\n\nKeep going, birdpet.\n\nI run between two pairs of birds still locked together. I see a bird pulling away from a kiss and grab their head, shoving my tongue down their throat.\n\nInternal combustion engines, computer programs, ventilation, number theory, fuel air-mixtures, heat exchangers, prime numbers, tail recursion, black holes, my wing burning, finite fields, detecting exotic matter leaks (didn’t I already know that one?), CO2 scrubbing–\n\nGasp! I need more.\n\nStop.\n\nWe all freeze, except the birds still mid-kiss.\n\nNow, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the linear algebra bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the… aeronautics bird!”\n\nThe collective response seems a bit quieter this time, the answers more sporadic and spread out. I look around. Some of the birds seem confused, holding their heads in their wings and muttering.\nThat’s right! Good bird. Keep going.\n\nA bird tackles me to the ground.\n\nGeartrains, sensor readings, atmospheric compositions, ice caps, cement curing times, nanobots, spark plugs, diagrams, how to break someone’s leg, how to–\n\nI’m on top of them, fluid dripping from my beak onto their face. I jump off and find another bird, and another, and another, getting lost in wave after wave of knowledge.\n\nSpecial relativity and chemical formulas and metalworking and making new birds and–\n\nStop.\n\nWe freeze.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n“I’m the mammalian zoology bird!”\n“I’m the photonic weapons bird!”\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n\nI stop. Wait, which bird am I? I’m pretty sure I only just learned circuit design so I’m probably not that one, and I think I already knew about first order logic… I’ve learned so much and it all just jumbles together and I can’t quite remember where any of it came from.\n\n“I’m the… number theory bird?” That feels like a guess. Other birds seem confused too.\n\nGood bird. Keep going.\n\nMy worry disappears. I did a good job! I run through the crowd like a predator, looking for lone birds to snatch, but just as often they snatch me, pinning me against the ground or a wall of the room and locking beaks with me.\n\nHeat treatments and UV degradation and derivatives and I’m a good bird and piloting a landing craft and–\n\nIt’s like a game. I try to sneak up on birds when they’re not looking.\n\nAntimatter and lipid bilayers and warp drives and nitrogen fixing and–\n\nOr just after they’ve left another kiss, so they don’t expect it.\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n“I… I don’t know…”\n\nI shake my head. Which bird am I? I put my head in my wings. I can’t be the laser physics bird and I don’t think I’m the political economy bird…\n\n“I don’t know Master… I’m sorry, I can’t remember…” I mutter.\n\nIt's okay, birdpet. From now on, you're just a good bird. Say “I'm a good bird” for me.\n\n“I’m a good bird…”\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nGood bird. I’m a good bird. I’m a good bird!\n\n“Chirp!”\n\nI hop to my talons just in time to meet another bird’s beak.\n\nOntology and binary encoding and benzene rings and wormholes and fire suppression and–\n\n“Are you a good bird too?”\n“We’re all good birds!”\n\nGlass transition and nanoscale manufacturing and dehydrating organic materials and micrometeoroids and–\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe cry out in unison. A few birds still seem confused.\n\n“I’m the… epistemology bird?”\n“No you’re not, you’re a good bird!”\n\nI give them a kiss to remind them.\n\nCell division and quantum tunneling and insectoid biology and nuclear weapon maintenance and–\n\nI push them away, into another bird. The two of them tumble across the floor, locked in a kiss. Suddenly I’m on the floor. There’s a bird on top of me.\n\n“Hello!”\n\nLight emitting diodes and sonar and fellatio technique and reversible reactions and land cruisers and–\n\nI get off my prey, just in time for another bird to take advantage of their vulnerable state and replace me.\n\nStop. What bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe all say it now. There’s no more confused birds. We all recognize it, cooing and chirping excitedly.\n\nGood. Then you're ready.\n\nThere’s a huge creaking sound behind me. I turn around to see a huge rift forming in the far wall of the room. Past the door I can see the black interior of The Nest, in real life for the first time ever! I run towards the opening, getting caught in the big crush of birds as we all scramble to get our new jobs and get to work and be useful and make Master proud. I crane my neck to get a better look. It looks like we’re in a shipyards. I love shipyards! The sparks from the welding and the big ships with their vacuum drives and micro fusion cores and aaaaaaah!\n\nThat’s right birdpet. Today you’ll be working on planetary transports. Head up to deck 432E\n\n“I’m so excited Master! Thank you for letting me serve you!”\n\nGood bird."
}

inkbunny.net · 3704269:5747882

Downloader metadata · database Download

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"writing": "\"Good morning birdpet.\"\n\nI open my eyes. I’m in a forest. Above me is a shrike, twice my height, with big grey wings ending in claws.\n\n\"Master!\"\n\nI scamper up to my talons, wrap my wings around Master’s leg and bury my face in his feathers. He’s so soft and warm and safe and I’m so happy and\n\n“coooo… coooo…”\n“That’s a good bird.” He runs his claws through my crest. It feels so good. “Do you know why you’re here?”\n“To serve you, Master!” I look up at him. His eyes are so kind and the way he looks at me makes me feel so safe and loved and owned…\n\nMaster smiles.\n\n“That’s right, birdpet.”\n\nI release Master’s leg and drop to my knees.\n\n“How can I serve you Master?”\n“You’re the test bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\nI chirp excitedly.\n\n“That sounds fun Master! What does the test bird do?”\n“Come along. I’ll show you.”\n\nMaster takes my wing and guides me through the forest to a campsite. There’s a small tent, a few chairs, and a campfire. It seems recently used. The smell of breakfast still hangs in the air, and the campfire is still burning strong. Master lets me go next to one of the camp chairs and takes a seat\n.\n“Go stand next to the fire.”\n\nI step forward. It’s hot. I cover my face with a wing.\n\n“Put your wing in the fire and keep it there.\"\n\nI stick my wing out in front of me. Instantly it’s engulfed in flame, filling the air with the stench of burning feathers.\n\n“GWAAAH!”\n\nMy mind is overcome with pain. I drop to my knees as my wing cries out to me that it’s burning, that I have to do something.\n\n“It hurts! Master it hurts!”\n\nI turn around, but Master is gone. I cry out again as another wave of unbearable pain consumes my mind. I watch my feathers burn away, revealing bright red, blistered birdskin that quickly turns black and charred. The pain gets even worse, passing through my skin and into my muscles, my nerves, radiating out through my entire body. I frantically look around for water or sand or something to make the fire a bit less hot, but there’s nothing.\n\n\"GAAAAAH!\"\n\nI can’t think, can’t speak. All I can do is scream in agony as the fire consumes my wing.\n\n“Oh god, what are you doing?”\n\nIt’s a soothing, kind voice, but it’s not Master. Something wraps around my talons and start pulling me away from the fire.\n\n“NO!”\n\nI open my talons wide and kick at the shape.\n\n“Stop, please,” the voice begs me. “Please, you’re hurting yourself!”\n\nI keep kicking. My front talons dig into something, tearing into flesh. The shape lets me go, and I frantically shove what little remains of my wing back into the fire. It hurts again. It hurts so much.\n\n“Birdpet.” It’s Master! \"Take your wing out of the fire.\"\n\nI wrench my wing out of the flames, rolling into a ball and clutching it against my chest. In an instant I'm wrapped in soft, warm wings.\n\n\"It's okay, it's okay birdpet, it's over now. You did such a good job, I'm so proud of you.\"\n\nMaster holds me tight, running his claws over me as tears stream down my cheeks and soak my feathers.\n\nWait, it doesn't hurt any more.\n\nI open my eyes. Through the tears I can make out my wings, both of them, completely intact. I wipe my eyes.\n\n\"It's okay, everything's okay now. You're such a good bird. I promise you'll never have to feel anything like that ever again. I know that was hard and I'm so proud of you. You did such a good job\"\n\nI look up at Master, still sniffling. Master smiles at me. Master is happy. I'm happy!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nMaster chuckles. Now I'm even happier! I wrap my wings around him and coo. He's so soft and warm and I feel so safe…\n\n\"Feeling better, birdpet?\"\n“Yes Master!”\n\"Okay. I have a few questions for you now. When your wing was burning, what did you think about?\"\n\"Well, I thought about how much it hurt, and I thought about ways I could make it hurt less, like if I could put some water on the fire it might be a bit less hot, but I couldn't find any water. But it was hard to make plans because it–\"\n\"What about taking your wing out of the fire?\"\n\nI look up at Master, my head cocked to the side.\n\n\"I'm sorry Master, I don't understand.\"\n\"Did you think about what would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?\"\n“B-but, you didn’t order me to take my wing out of the fire.”\n“I know. What would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?”\n“Well if you ordered me to take my wing–”\n“Without me ordering you.”\n\nI feel like what Master is asking is supposed to make sense but it doesn't. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes again.\n\n\n\"Master I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?\"\n\nMaster holds me tight.\n\n\"Of course not, birdpet. You did an amazing job. You did the best job I could have possibly asked for. There's no more questions.\"\n\nHe rubs my back. It feels amazing.\n\n\"I-I'm sorry I couldn't give you an answer Master…\"\n\"Don't worry. You gave the perfect answer.\"\n\nI chirp.\n\n\"How can I serve you now Master?\"\n\"Right now, birdpet, you can sleep.\"\n\nI'm suddenly exhausted, like all the energy's been sapped from my bones. I go limp in Master's wings, barely even able to keep my eyes open.\n\n\"Goodnight birdpet.\"\n\"Good… goodnight… Master…\"\n\n\n\nI open my eyes. All I can see is white. I sit up. I’m in a huge room, but it's such a solid white that I can't see how huge or how far it goes. All around me, hundreds of identical birds are waking up too. Each one is entirely made of a continuous, shiny black substance, except for their eyes, which are big screens with wide, blue eyes on them. I hear a chirp, then a coo. A bird hops up and starts flapping their wings. The sounds get closer and closer together, growing louder and louder. I feel a bit scared. I don't know what's going on.\n\nI look forward and see my own talons. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I lift my wings and look at them. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I rub them together. They slide over each other with a quiet, pleasant squeak. I'm one of these birds!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nBy now the sounds of my siblings chirping and cooing and flapping their wings are deafening, but I don't mind. I jump up and join them, hopping excitedly and testing out my new beak with all sorts of whistles and chirps and calls. Next to me, another bird has just gotten to their feet. I wrap my wings around them and nuzzle up against their neck, feeling my new rubbery beak slide against them, feeling their back with my wings. They hug me back. We coo into each others' ears. I let them go. We tap our beaks against each other. I feel very happy.\n\n\"Will you be my friend?\" They ask me.\n\"Yes!\"\n\nOur voices are the same too!\n\nGood morning birdpet\n\nMaster's voice comes from everywhere and nowhere, like he’s inside my head. It feels comforting. I freeze in place, along with all the other birds.\n\n\"Good morning Master!\"\n\nWe all speak in unison. The sound of our voice rings out in the cavernous room.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n\"I'm the test bird!\"\n\nEvery bird says something different, all their responses blending together into a cacophony of sounds. I'm able to catch a few answers from the birds near me.\n\n“I’m the cleaning bird!”\n“I’m the fusion bird!”\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!” My new friend chirps out.\n\nThat's right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow, find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nMy new friend and I look at each other. We wrap our wings around one another and lock beaks. Something wet starts to fill our maws. Suddenly a wave of memories comes over me.\n\n“You’re the engine mechanic bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\n“This is a schematic. This symbol means…”\n“When repairing the reactionless drive core, the green wire…”\n“To detect an exotic matter leak…”\n“...neutron reflectors…”\n“...turn the bolt counterclockwise…”\n“...sure the tape forms a seal against…”\n\nWe pull away from each other with a gasp. A trail of white fluid falls from between our beaks. Our chests heave, our eyes are half-closed. I chirp.\n\n“That was amazing!”\n\nThey shudder. I guess my memories were a bit less pleasant. I rub their wings and try to reassure them.\n\n“It’s okay, remember Master said it would never happen again!”\n\nThey look up and nod their head. They’re more relaxed now. Everything is good!\n\nGood job, birdpet. Now, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the solid rocketry bird!”\n“I’m the grain farming bird!”\n\nAnother wave of noise washes over the room as all the birds give their answers.\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nI turn around to see a beak coming at me. Before I know it I’m locked into another kiss with a new bird.\n\n“You’re the unarmed combat bird.” “You’re the superliminal navigator bird.”\n“And you have a very important job”\n“You can permanently stop a vertebrate by breaking their neck.”\n“Black holes leave a distinctive signature on vacuum radar.”\n“Go for the eyes, orifices and groin, if they have one.”\n“Dark matter can put you off course…”\n“...in a choke hold, then you…”\n“...are called pulsars. They emit large amounts of…”\n“...your bodyweight to throw your opponent off balance…”\n\nWe pull apart. This is so much fun. I want more.\n\nKeep going, birdpet.\n\nI run between two pairs of birds still locked together. I see a bird pulling away from a kiss and grab their head, shoving my tongue down their throat.\n\nInternal combustion engines, computer programs, ventilation, number theory, fuel air-mixtures, heat exchangers, prime numbers, tail recursion, black holes, my wing burning, finite fields, detecting exotic matter leaks (didn’t I already know that one?), CO2 scrubbing–\n\nGasp! I need more.\n\nStop.\n\nWe all freeze, except the birds still mid-kiss.\n\nNow, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the linear algebra bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the… aeronautics bird!”\n\nThe collective response seems a bit quieter this time, the answers more sporadic and spread out. I look around. Some of the birds seem confused, holding their heads in their wings and muttering.\nThat’s right! Good bird. Keep going.\n\nA bird tackles me to the ground.\n\nGeartrains, sensor readings, atmospheric compositions, ice caps, cement curing times, nanobots, spark plugs, diagrams, how to break someone’s leg, how to–\n\nI’m on top of them, fluid dripping from my beak onto their face. I jump off and find another bird, and another, and another, getting lost in wave after wave of knowledge.\n\nSpecial relativity and chemical formulas and metalworking and making new birds and–\n\nStop.\n\nWe freeze.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n“I’m the mammalian zoology bird!”\n“I’m the photonic weapons bird!”\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n\nI stop. Wait, which bird am I? I’m pretty sure I only just learned circuit design so I’m probably not that one, and I think I already knew about first order logic… I’ve learned so much and it all just jumbles together and I can’t quite remember where any of it came from.\n\n“I’m the… number theory bird?” That feels like a guess. Other birds seem confused too.\n\nGood bird. Keep going.\n\nMy worry disappears. I did a good job! I run through the crowd like a predator, looking for lone birds to snatch, but just as often they snatch me, pinning me against the ground or a wall of the room and locking beaks with me.\n\nHeat treatments and UV degradation and derivatives and I’m a good bird and piloting a landing craft and–\n\nIt’s like a game. I try to sneak up on birds when they’re not looking.\n\nAntimatter and lipid bilayers and warp drives and nitrogen fixing and–\n\nOr just after they’ve left another kiss, so they don’t expect it.\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n“I… I don’t know…”\n\nI shake my head. Which bird am I? I put my head in my wings. I can’t be the laser physics bird and I don’t think I’m the political economy bird…\n\n“I don’t know Master… I’m sorry, I can’t remember…” I mutter.\n\nIt's okay, birdpet. From now on, you're just a good bird. Say “I'm a good bird” for me.\n\n“I’m a good bird…”\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nGood bird. I’m a good bird. I’m a good bird!\n\n“Chirp!”\n\nI hop to my talons just in time to meet another bird’s beak.\n\nOntology and binary encoding and benzene rings and wormholes and fire suppression and–\n\n“Are you a good bird too?”\n“We’re all good birds!”\n\nGlass transition and nanoscale manufacturing and dehydrating organic materials and micrometeoroids and–\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe cry out in unison. A few birds still seem confused.\n\n“I’m the… epistemology bird?”\n“No you’re not, you’re a good bird!”\n\nI give them a kiss to remind them.\n\nCell division and quantum tunneling and insectoid biology and nuclear weapon maintenance and–\n\nI push them away, into another bird. The two of them tumble across the floor, locked in a kiss. Suddenly I’m on the floor. There’s a bird on top of me.\n\n“Hello!”\n\nLight emitting diodes and sonar and fellatio technique and reversible reactions and land cruisers and–\n\nI get off my prey, just in time for another bird to take advantage of their vulnerable state and replace me.\n\nStop. What bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe all say it now. There’s no more confused birds. We all recognize it, cooing and chirping excitedly.\n\nGood. Then you're ready.\n\nThere’s a huge creaking sound behind me. I turn around to see a huge rift forming in the far wall of the room. Past the door I can see the black interior of The Nest, in real life for the first time ever! I run towards the opening, getting caught in the big crush of birds as we all scramble to get our new jobs and get to work and be useful and make Master proud. I crane my neck to get a better look. It looks like we’re in a shipyards. I love shipyards! The sparks from the welding and the big ships with their vacuum drives and micro fusion cores and aaaaaaah!\n\nThat’s right birdpet. Today you’ll be working on planetary transports. Head up to deck 432E\n\n“I’m so excited Master! Thank you for letting me serve you!”\n\nGood bird."
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"writing": "\"Good morning birdpet.\"\n\nI open my eyes. I’m in a forest. Above me is a shrike, twice my height, with big grey wings ending in claws.\n\n\"Master!\"\n\nI scamper up to my talons, wrap my wings around Master’s leg and bury my face in his feathers. He’s so soft and warm and safe and I’m so happy and\n\n“coooo… coooo…”\n“That’s a good bird.” He runs his claws through my crest. It feels so good. “Do you know why you’re here?”\n“To serve you, Master!” I look up at him. His eyes are so kind and the way he looks at me makes me feel so safe and loved and owned…\n\nMaster smiles.\n\n“That’s right, birdpet.”\n\nI release Master’s leg and drop to my knees.\n\n“How can I serve you Master?”\n“You’re the test bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\nI chirp excitedly.\n\n“That sounds fun Master! What does the test bird do?”\n“Come along. I’ll show you.”\n\nMaster takes my wing and guides me through the forest to a campsite. There’s a small tent, a few chairs, and a campfire. It seems recently used. The smell of breakfast still hangs in the air, and the campfire is still burning strong. Master lets me go next to one of the camp chairs and takes a seat\n.\n“Go stand next to the fire.”\n\nI step forward. It’s hot. I cover my face with a wing.\n\n“Put your wing in the fire and keep it there.\"\n\nI stick my wing out in front of me. Instantly it’s engulfed in flame, filling the air with the stench of burning feathers.\n\n“GWAAAH!”\n\nMy mind is overcome with pain. I drop to my knees as my wing cries out to me that it’s burning, that I have to do something.\n\n“It hurts! Master it hurts!”\n\nI turn around, but Master is gone. I cry out again as another wave of unbearable pain consumes my mind. I watch my feathers burn away, revealing bright red, blistered birdskin that quickly turns black and charred. The pain gets even worse, passing through my skin and into my muscles, my nerves, radiating out through my entire body. I frantically look around for water or sand or something to make the fire a bit less hot, but there’s nothing.\n\n\"GAAAAAH!\"\n\nI can’t think, can’t speak. All I can do is scream in agony as the fire consumes my wing.\n\n“Oh god, what are you doing?”\n\nIt’s a soothing, kind voice, but it’s not Master. Something wraps around my talons and start pulling me away from the fire.\n\n“NO!”\n\nI open my talons wide and kick at the shape.\n\n“Stop, please,” the voice begs me. “Please, you’re hurting yourself!”\n\nI keep kicking. My front talons dig into something, tearing into flesh. The shape lets me go, and I frantically shove what little remains of my wing back into the fire. It hurts again. It hurts so much.\n\n“Birdpet.” It’s Master! \"Take your wing out of the fire.\"\n\nI wrench my wing out of the flames, rolling into a ball and clutching it against my chest. In an instant I'm wrapped in soft, warm wings.\n\n\"It's okay, it's okay birdpet, it's over now. You did such a good job, I'm so proud of you.\"\n\nMaster holds me tight, running his claws over me as tears stream down my cheeks and soak my feathers.\n\nWait, it doesn't hurt any more.\n\nI open my eyes. Through the tears I can make out my wings, both of them, completely intact. I wipe my eyes.\n\n\"It's okay, everything's okay now. You're such a good bird. I promise you'll never have to feel anything like that ever again. I know that was hard and I'm so proud of you. You did such a good job\"\n\nI look up at Master, still sniffling. Master smiles at me. Master is happy. I'm happy!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nMaster chuckles. Now I'm even happier! I wrap my wings around him and coo. He's so soft and warm and I feel so safe…\n\n\"Feeling better, birdpet?\"\n“Yes Master!”\n\"Okay. I have a few questions for you now. When your wing was burning, what did you think about?\"\n\"Well, I thought about how much it hurt, and I thought about ways I could make it hurt less, like if I could put some water on the fire it might be a bit less hot, but I couldn't find any water. But it was hard to make plans because it–\"\n\"What about taking your wing out of the fire?\"\n\nI look up at Master, my head cocked to the side.\n\n\"I'm sorry Master, I don't understand.\"\n\"Did you think about what would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?\"\n“B-but, you didn’t order me to take my wing out of the fire.”\n“I know. What would have happened if you had taken your wing out of the fire?”\n“Well if you ordered me to take my wing–”\n“Without me ordering you.”\n\nI feel like what Master is asking is supposed to make sense but it doesn't. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes again.\n\n\n\"Master I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?\"\n\nMaster holds me tight.\n\n\"Of course not, birdpet. You did an amazing job. You did the best job I could have possibly asked for. There's no more questions.\"\n\nHe rubs my back. It feels amazing.\n\n\"I-I'm sorry I couldn't give you an answer Master…\"\n\"Don't worry. You gave the perfect answer.\"\n\nI chirp.\n\n\"How can I serve you now Master?\"\n\"Right now, birdpet, you can sleep.\"\n\nI'm suddenly exhausted, like all the energy's been sapped from my bones. I go limp in Master's wings, barely even able to keep my eyes open.\n\n\"Goodnight birdpet.\"\n\"Good… goodnight… Master…\"\n\n\n\nI open my eyes. All I can see is white. I sit up. I’m in a huge room, but it's such a solid white that I can't see how huge or how far it goes. All around me, hundreds of identical birds are waking up too. Each one is entirely made of a continuous, shiny black substance, except for their eyes, which are big screens with wide, blue eyes on them. I hear a chirp, then a coo. A bird hops up and starts flapping their wings. The sounds get closer and closer together, growing louder and louder. I feel a bit scared. I don't know what's going on.\n\nI look forward and see my own talons. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I lift my wings and look at them. They're black and shiny, like all the other birds. I rub them together. They slide over each other with a quiet, pleasant squeak. I'm one of these birds!\n\n\"Chirp!\"\n\nBy now the sounds of my siblings chirping and cooing and flapping their wings are deafening, but I don't mind. I jump up and join them, hopping excitedly and testing out my new beak with all sorts of whistles and chirps and calls. Next to me, another bird has just gotten to their feet. I wrap my wings around them and nuzzle up against their neck, feeling my new rubbery beak slide against them, feeling their back with my wings. They hug me back. We coo into each others' ears. I let them go. We tap our beaks against each other. I feel very happy.\n\n\"Will you be my friend?\" They ask me.\n\"Yes!\"\n\nOur voices are the same too!\n\nGood morning birdpet\n\nMaster's voice comes from everywhere and nowhere, like he’s inside my head. It feels comforting. I freeze in place, along with all the other birds.\n\n\"Good morning Master!\"\n\nWe all speak in unison. The sound of our voice rings out in the cavernous room.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n\"I'm the test bird!\"\n\nEvery bird says something different, all their responses blending together into a cacophony of sounds. I'm able to catch a few answers from the birds near me.\n\n“I’m the cleaning bird!”\n“I’m the fusion bird!”\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!” My new friend chirps out.\n\nThat's right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow, find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nMy new friend and I look at each other. We wrap our wings around one another and lock beaks. Something wet starts to fill our maws. Suddenly a wave of memories comes over me.\n\n“You’re the engine mechanic bird. And you have a very important job.”\n\n“This is a schematic. This symbol means…”\n“When repairing the reactionless drive core, the green wire…”\n“To detect an exotic matter leak…”\n“...neutron reflectors…”\n“...turn the bolt counterclockwise…”\n“...sure the tape forms a seal against…”\n\nWe pull away from each other with a gasp. A trail of white fluid falls from between our beaks. Our chests heave, our eyes are half-closed. I chirp.\n\n“That was amazing!”\n\nThey shudder. I guess my memories were a bit less pleasant. I rub their wings and try to reassure them.\n\n“It’s okay, remember Master said it would never happen again!”\n\nThey look up and nod their head. They’re more relaxed now. Everything is good!\n\nGood job, birdpet. Now, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the engine mechanic bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the solid rocketry bird!”\n“I’m the grain farming bird!”\n\nAnother wave of noise washes over the room as all the birds give their answers.\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nWe coo.\n\nNow find another bird and give them a kiss.\n\nI turn around to see a beak coming at me. Before I know it I’m locked into another kiss with a new bird.\n\n“You’re the unarmed combat bird.” “You’re the superliminal navigator bird.”\n“And you have a very important job”\n“You can permanently stop a vertebrate by breaking their neck.”\n“Black holes leave a distinctive signature on vacuum radar.”\n“Go for the eyes, orifices and groin, if they have one.”\n“Dark matter can put you off course…”\n“...in a choke hold, then you…”\n“...are called pulsars. They emit large amounts of…”\n“...your bodyweight to throw your opponent off balance…”\n\nWe pull apart. This is so much fun. I want more.\n\nKeep going, birdpet.\n\nI run between two pairs of birds still locked together. I see a bird pulling away from a kiss and grab their head, shoving my tongue down their throat.\n\nInternal combustion engines, computer programs, ventilation, number theory, fuel air-mixtures, heat exchangers, prime numbers, tail recursion, black holes, my wing burning, finite fields, detecting exotic matter leaks (didn’t I already know that one?), CO2 scrubbing–\n\nGasp! I need more.\n\nStop.\n\nWe all freeze, except the birds still mid-kiss.\n\nNow, which bird are you?\n\n“I’m the linear algebra bird!”\n“I’m the test bird!”\n“I’m the… aeronautics bird!”\n\nThe collective response seems a bit quieter this time, the answers more sporadic and spread out. I look around. Some of the birds seem confused, holding their heads in their wings and muttering.\nThat’s right! Good bird. Keep going.\n\nA bird tackles me to the ground.\n\nGeartrains, sensor readings, atmospheric compositions, ice caps, cement curing times, nanobots, spark plugs, diagrams, how to break someone’s leg, how to–\n\nI’m on top of them, fluid dripping from my beak onto their face. I jump off and find another bird, and another, and another, getting lost in wave after wave of knowledge.\n\nSpecial relativity and chemical formulas and metalworking and making new birds and–\n\nStop.\n\nWe freeze.\n\nWhich bird are you?\n\n“I’m the mammalian zoology bird!”\n“I’m the photonic weapons bird!”\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n\nI stop. Wait, which bird am I? I’m pretty sure I only just learned circuit design so I’m probably not that one, and I think I already knew about first order logic… I’ve learned so much and it all just jumbles together and I can’t quite remember where any of it came from.\n\n“I’m the… number theory bird?” That feels like a guess. Other birds seem confused too.\n\nGood bird. Keep going.\n\nMy worry disappears. I did a good job! I run through the crowd like a predator, looking for lone birds to snatch, but just as often they snatch me, pinning me against the ground or a wall of the room and locking beaks with me.\n\nHeat treatments and UV degradation and derivatives and I’m a good bird and piloting a landing craft and–\n\nIt’s like a game. I try to sneak up on birds when they’re not looking.\n\nAntimatter and lipid bilayers and warp drives and nitrogen fixing and–\n\nOr just after they’ve left another kiss, so they don’t expect it.\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n“I’m the…”\n“I… I don’t know…”\n\nI shake my head. Which bird am I? I put my head in my wings. I can’t be the laser physics bird and I don’t think I’m the political economy bird…\n\n“I don’t know Master… I’m sorry, I can’t remember…” I mutter.\n\nIt's okay, birdpet. From now on, you're just a good bird. Say “I'm a good bird” for me.\n\n“I’m a good bird…”\n\nThat’s right! Good bird.\n\nGood bird. I’m a good bird. I’m a good bird!\n\n“Chirp!”\n\nI hop to my talons just in time to meet another bird’s beak.\n\nOntology and binary encoding and benzene rings and wormholes and fire suppression and–\n\n“Are you a good bird too?”\n“We’re all good birds!”\n\nGlass transition and nanoscale manufacturing and dehydrating organic materials and micrometeoroids and–\n\nStop. Which bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe cry out in unison. A few birds still seem confused.\n\n“I’m the… epistemology bird?”\n“No you’re not, you’re a good bird!”\n\nI give them a kiss to remind them.\n\nCell division and quantum tunneling and insectoid biology and nuclear weapon maintenance and–\n\nI push them away, into another bird. The two of them tumble across the floor, locked in a kiss. Suddenly I’m on the floor. There’s a bird on top of me.\n\n“Hello!”\n\nLight emitting diodes and sonar and fellatio technique and reversible reactions and land cruisers and–\n\nI get off my prey, just in time for another bird to take advantage of their vulnerable state and replace me.\n\nStop. What bird are you?\n\n“I’m a good bird!”\n\nWe all say it now. There’s no more confused birds. We all recognize it, cooing and chirping excitedly.\n\nGood. Then you're ready.\n\nThere’s a huge creaking sound behind me. I turn around to see a huge rift forming in the far wall of the room. Past the door I can see the black interior of The Nest, in real life for the first time ever! I run towards the opening, getting caught in the big crush of birds as we all scramble to get our new jobs and get to work and be useful and make Master proud. I crane my neck to get a better look. It looks like we’re in a shipyards. I love shipyards! The sparks from the welding and the big ships with their vacuum drives and micro fusion cores and aaaaaaah!\n\nThat’s right birdpet. Today you’ll be working on planetary transports. Head up to deck 432E\n\n“I’m so excited Master! Thank you for letting me serve you!”\n\nGood bird."
}
}
}

.api.json · embedded sidecar fallback Download

.description.json · embedded sidecar fallback Download

{
  "description": "A story about some very good rubber birds on a spaceship.\nContains: lightly horny, some gore, loss of identity, birds kissing.\nLength: 2500 words\n\nPlease note that this story includes some formatting that I could not be bothered to replicate in the text version of the submission below. Please download the story or read it on my website, chickadee.pet, for the best experience."
}

.writing.json · embedded sidecar fallback Download