Source JSON
Post #3709417 · 1 source
inkbunny.net · 3746052:5787653 · selected
Downloader metadata · database Download
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.description.json · embedded sidecar fallback Download
{
"description": "HYPNOVEMBER DAY 7: HELMET.\nFeaturing Unknownlionhero as COSHA USAGI L1111\n\nC.O.S.H.A. Orientation Session 15b: Physical prowess and Aptitude\n\n\nCOSHA Usagi are expected to be in top physical condition. You are expected to satisfy various scenarios where physical aptitude is a priority. Such possible expectations include: \n\nOperating Forklifts\nLifting boxes up to 50 lbs\nBending over to enter crawl spaces\nHolding a ladder in place while a fellow employee accesses hard to reach shelves\nUtilizing comically oversized monkey wrenches\nSuplexing aesbestos\nOperating Certified Forklift Operators to acceptable satisfaction levels\nand disposal of hazardous materials with large bags in each hand for photo opportunities. \n\n\nSafety hazards are around every corner. When you're dealing with a Code Ecru, you could be on the clock for hours beyond the recommended allotment. It is an unfortunate occupational risk of COSHA employees to tolerate these complications, but it is our duty to endure these in order to make sure civilians do not come to harm. As such, daily calisthenics and exercise is key to a healthy body that's ready to handle managing any possible emergency.\n\n-----\nUpdate 23: \nWe've come up with a new helmet design that prioritizes physical size and prowess. Those who are given the XL helmets will be designated as an XL COSHA drone. XLs exceed standardized uniform measurements, but will be deployed for heavy duty tasks and assignments. XLs are capable of lifting triple the usual weight, are often double the size of usual Usagi, and are ideal for construction or other strength related tasks. The theory is this heavy duty brand of Usagi would be too focused on physical activities to be distracted by potential safety micro-violations. Unit L1111 Is the latest amongst the XL drones for this task with the new update in mind. The following is a recording of their onboarding process. \n\n*A lion is sitting in a large warehouse as an oversized COSHA Usagi stands behind him with a helmet twice the lion's head size.*\nMatt: Hey uh, could you explain to me what all that paperwork was supposed to be for? I was promised a free hat.\nUNIT XL FOREMAN: Activating XL Helmet.\n*Thunk. The helmet slams over the lion, already rubber begins to coat over his face to fit the new mask. all the while he breathes in, bulking up. chest pushing out as the uniform oozes over his body. Making him balloon in size. with a thunderous flex, he stands to attention before the seat buckles under the new weight of his body.\nUNIT XL FOREMAN: Registered as Unit L-1111. Welcome to COSHA, Employee. \nUNIT L-1111: Greetings. Unit L-1111 is ready for orders. \nUNIT XL FOREMAN: Are we in peak physical condition?\n*unit L-1111 Poses with a tight flex, showing off the durability of its XL uniform.*\nUNIT L-1111: Affirmative. all XL units are made to be strong. \nUNIT XL FOREMAN: Excellent. our first task will be to access shipment twelve and prepare for movement of PPE to Focault.\nUNIT L-1111: Before we begin. We must participate in employee mandated calisthenics. 200 squats and 400 pushups.\n*sound of angry cursing on radio.*\nUNIT XL FOREMAN: Excellent. we shall begin promptly! \n*both units begin performing COSHA certified leg squats.*\n\nFurther updates will be needed.\n\n-----\nOh dear. Looks like COSHA's still got some bugs to work out. By trying to make some of the Usagi larger and more physically focused, now they're doing too many calisthenics to make sure their bodies are in peak condition before any work gets done. At least they're imposing looking like this. That's probably of benefit to someone.\n\nArtwork (and character!) by Unkownlionhero\n\n[url=https://discord.gg/jMAv3jetmw]VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE MASTERMIND IN THE COGNIZANT DISCORD[/url]"
}
profile.api.json · CAS artifact Download
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