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      "original_description": "When your 19 y/o bf is smol so you bring over the pediaglide and he gets all pissy about it XD\r\n[b]\r\nThe Sacramento Register - Mar 31, 1967\r\nRoulder Labs, a small San Francisco reseach facility, announces \"Pediaglide,\" a new kind of intimacy facilitator for use on children.\r\n\r\nBorbes - Jun 4, 1969\r\nPharmaceutical giant Jancing Inc. closes deal to purchase Roulder Labs for $9.8 million.\r\n\r\nThe South Valley Times - Feb 8, 1979\r\nSan Diego's home stadium to be renamed to Pediaglide Park after reaching a deal with Jancing Inc.\r\n\r\nSmooth Weekly - Aug 12, 1987\r\nDespite the boom in pediatric lubricants in the United States, many new parents still wonder what age is most appropriate to initiate sex with their children. We asked 30 pediatricians from around the country for what they felt was right.\r\n\r\nBorbes - Aug 23, 1995\r\nThe SEC has approved Murqual Pharmaceutical's $2.7 billion purchase of Pediaglide maker Jancing Inc.\r\n\r\nThe Silvian Times - 30 Aug 1997\r\nThe Glair Government yesterday announced the Pounds-for-Pounds programme. Starting 1 October, UK residents will be able to exchange emptied bottles of Paediaglide, Kiddie Slip or any other paediatric lubricant for a full pound at any of the nation's recycling centres. In a press briefing, the new prime minister cited a 1996 Gambridge survey which found that only 26% of UK households with a child under 12 had engaged in parent-child intimacy in the prior month, this places the UK second-to-last amongst its EU counterparts. For contrast, Finland, Sweden and Denmark lead the EU with rates of 72%, 71% and 66% respectively. Prime Minister Glair also cited a 15-years-long Doxford study comparing the developmental outcomes of children whose parents regularly engaged in intimacy versus those who did not. \"The data are quite clear,\" said Glair, \"a closer bond between the parent and the child leads to better marks and behaviour in school as well as lower probability of falling into drugs or other criminal activity later on.\"\r\n\r\nA singular pound may not be a high selling point for most British parents, but Prime Minister Glair appeared confident that, along with various school initiatives, the programme will help publicise the government's clear position on the matter. \"We must catch up with the rest of the world,\" added Glair. \"Many britons still carry the idea that children are too delicate or too small.\"\r\n\r\nPounds-for-Pounds won't last forever. With an expiry date of 1 January 2001, the government are ambitious to see the programme accompany a rapid climb in the parent-child intimacy rate, targeting 50% by the end of 2000 and 70% by 2005.\r\n\r\nOf course, Prime Minister Glair isn't the only public official promoting parent-child intimacy. Princess Giana made a very public appearance yesterday promoting the practice at an inner-city school in Paris. France has the worst parent-child intimacy rate in the EU, sitting at a woeful 14%. A separate survey carried out by The College of Tower Bridge found only four per cent of French households with a child under 12 owned any kind of paediatric lubricant.\r\n\r\nBorbes - Sept 1, 1998\r\n[i]Coolant Crackdown[/i]\r\nCalifornia Supreme Court rules Murqual must include warnings on all Pediaglide products per Proposition 65 mandate.\r\n\r\nCentertainment Weekly - Oct 21, 2005\r\nCelebrity pediatricians Dr. Will along with wife Dr. Margaret \"Mag\" Kinderlieben sit down on the Dr. Dhil show to share proven strategies on how to keep children calm and comfortable during their first time.\r\n\r\nBorbes - Jan 31, 2012\r\nChaos on the DASNAQ today as Murqual Pharmaceuticals ($MURQ) endured a hostile takeover attempt by Tantrax Industries International ($TNT). Shares of Murqual rose 40%, marking a turning point in Tantrax's relationship with Murqual. Murqual's stock was already experiencing a year-long surge after two rejected bids in 2011 signaled a strong likelyhood that Tantrax would attempt a tender offer. Tantrax's own stock fell 5% on the day, signaling a general lack of confidence in the company's growth strategy. It's yet to be seen how long Tantrax can incentivize shareholders to sell in order to acquire the voting rights necessary to oust Murqual's board of directors. The longevity of Murqual's current management is partly due to its high favorability from within the company and among the public, even after its 1998 California Supreme Court Case concerning the use of a controversial cooling agent in its Pediaglide pediatric lubricant.\r\n\r\nBorbes - Apr 5, 2012\r\nTantrax ($TNT) asks a Delaware Court of Chancery judge to set a trial to determine if there is enough support from Murqual ($MURQ) shareholders to replace a majority of the company's directors.\r\n\r\nBorbes - May 20, 2012\r\nMeyers-Wilson Pharmahealth Group ($MW) announces $61 billion bid for Murqual, ending Tantrax's hostile takeover attempt.\r\n\r\nBorbes - Feb 12, 2013\r\n[i]Tantrax Tantrum - Inside the Failed Takeover of Pediaglide Maker Murqual[/i]\r\n\r\nThe Ingrid Bee - March 2, 2014\r\nOfficer Cyndell met with parents and other community members yesterday at the Ingrid Public Library to discuss how to keep your children safe and out of trouble. \"It all comes down to having a close bond with the parents,\" Cyndell said. \"The more connected children are to their parents, the more likely it is that they'll uphold the parents' beliefs and values.\"[/b]\r\n\r\nNOTE: THIS IS NOT CANON IN ANY OF MY CHARACTERS' UNIVERSES, AND I DO NOT ENDORSE WHAT IS HAPPENING ON THE SCREEN. IT IS JUST A SILLY IDEA I HAD ONE DAY AT THE SUPER. ALL NAMES, ADDRESSES, URLS, AND PHONE NUMBERS ARE FICTIONAL. NEVER EVER TOUCH A CHILD. AND AS ALWAYS, MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA.",
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