Source JSON
Post #878768 · 1 source
inkbunny.net · 3835544:5949263 · selected
Downloader metadata · database Download
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API response · CAS Download
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"writing": "-- Intro: Shoot It Up --\n\nFebruary 14, 2026. A field in rural Wisconsin. It's a little past midnight. Keith Rufus drops Itsuki Kaede off by the side of the road with a laptop bag and a couple of suitcases.\n\n\"Not the first Valentine's Day I've spent in a moonlit field in the middle of nowhere. Won't be the last.\" Keith remarks. Suki bows to him, and he drives off.\n\nIt's a quiet minute as Suki stands alone at the side of the road. Then, he hears the sound of a jet airliner. He looks up out of curiosity, but sees nothing. It gets louder, being combined with a deep whirring noise. Then, maybe 50 feet above him, some landing lights come on. \"What the...\" Suki mutters to himself. A spaceship - probably the size of a semi truck and twice as wide as one in the back - lands next to him. The front left window rolls down with all the casualness of going to order food at a drive-through. \"Itsuki Kaede?\" a wolf-like man with long hair and defined muscles says as he leans out of the window. Suki nods cautiously. \"I'm here to take you to Ergon.\" \"Here goes nothing...\" Suki mutters to himself in Japanese.\n\nSuki enters the craft via its front passenger door. The craft is so strange to an Earthing, yet so familiar. Inside, it resembles a high-end recreational vehicle. Itsuki buckles into the craft's five-point harness as if he'd done it a hundred times. \"My name is Hajiko Mataeko. I work for the Ergonian government as a spaceship driver.\" He says as the craft hovers upward. \"Are you Japanese? That's a very Japanese-sounding name.\" Suki asks. \"Kind of? I'm from the island of Jaekip - it's pretty much identical to your Japan. Our dialect is very similar to Japanese, and Ergonian names are dependent on dialect... heavily-dialected names are usually untranslatable.\" Hajiko said as he angled the craft up and throttled up. The craft gently sped toward escape velocity. To Hajiko, it felt like the transition from running to walking. To Suki? It felt like he was sitting in a top fuel dragster.\n\n\"You can call me Haji, by the way. We'll be out of Earth's orbit in about 10 minutes.\" Suki looked at him with wide eyes and tried to nod. \"We'll be able to hit Hyperdrive when we leave the atmosphere.\" Haji continues. \"Hyperdrive?\" Suki asks. \"Hyperdrive. This ship is equipped with our new Uberdrive system. With it, we should get to Ergon in 17 days.\" Haji explains. \"How fast is Hyperdrive?\" Suki asks. Maybe he shouldn't have. \"Hyperdrive I is 100,000 klicks per hour. e-Hyperdrive came out, ehh, about a hundred years ago. It tops out at about 335,000 k's. More R&D time was put into fuel efficiency than speed. We'll only have to stop for fuel 3 times this trip. EWG's got us 3 refuelling ships set up along the way. That's the Ergon World Government, EWG.\" \"And Uberdrive?\" Suki asks tentatively. \"One million kilometres per hour.\"\n\nSuki's breath hitched. He was scared and excited. As much as he loved sci-fi and even made his own sci-fi inventions... this was the real deal.\n\nHaji tore a paper pouch open and put a multi-coloured substance in his mouth. \"Want some?\" Haji asked innocently. The writing on the pouch was in a stereotypical \"Eastern\" font, but Suki didn't recognise the writing system despite his extensive knowledge of language. \"Oh... I don't...\" \"Oh, I forgot that Earthlings shred up carcinogenic plants and eat and smoke them for fun. No tobacco - it's shichimi chew.\" Suki cautiously took a pinch of the substance and held it in his palm, scrutinising it. Haji was right - ground pepper, chenpi, yuzu peel, poppy seeds, dried nori, sesame seeds... nothing in the mix Suki didn't recognise. \"Just tuck it in your lower lip.\" Haji encouraged, so Suki did. The flavour hit him like a spark - it was definitely shichimi, albeit missing the fine powdered ingredients like ginger. \"I'll tell you more about Ergon when we get into Hyperdrive. We'll be able to walk around the cabin as the Hyperdrive's autopilot takes us to the first fueling stop.\" Haji explained.\n\nEventually, the craft left the Earth's atmosphere. \"Suki?\" Haji said. Suki looked at him. \"Hang onto your bucks.\" Haji cranked the key in the ship's ignition to the START position. He then lifted a polycarbonate case off a big blue button. Haji motioned for Suki to push the button. Suki smiled and slammed it. The engine whirred loudly. \"Three... two... one...\" Haji counted before the two were thrust back into their seats, the seats themselves slingshotting back before gradually returning to zero as the acceleration evened out with the speed. Suki looked at the speedometer. 275 kps. Suki had gone 275 kilometres per hour before, but never 275 per second.\n\nThe ship's heads-up display blinked blue in an indecipherable text. Haji pressed a button took and his seatbelts off. \"We're at cruising speed. You can stretch your legs if you need to.\" He stood up and walked to a bookshelf in the back. Suki unbuckled and followed him. Haji slipped a pamphlet onto the table. The pamphlet read, \"ENGLISH to ERGONESE - What you need to know to learn our simple language.\" \"Once you get our writing system memorised, translation will be easy.\" Haji says as Suki opens the pamphlet and reads over it... multiple times within a minute.\n\nHaji opens his laptop. Suki continues reading the pamphlet over and over. \"I should have this memorised by tomorrow.\" Suki says in a monotone voice. \"Well, take your time. I got a lot to tell you about Ergon. Boss man says I should ease you into it. We nearly fried an Earthling when we tried to introduce Ergon to him whole hog.\" Haji explained. \"Come to think, I could probably play you that clip on ErgoView, but nah. Best to gradually introduce it. We got 17 days to fill, anyway. Which reminds me...\" Haji walked to the fridge. \"Want a beer?\" Suki looked at Haji indignantly. \"I don't drink.\" \"It's non-alcoholic. And I mean really non-alcoholic. True zeroes.\" Suki continued staring. Haji took a can of beer and a bottle of soda from the fridge. \"Alcohol is considered highly poisonous on Ergon. Same with tobacco. We've copied your tobacco and alcohol cultures but refined them - pun intended - to remove any unwanted side effects.\" Suki looked at the bottle of soda. \"Isn't this just Ramune?\" \"Hai,\" Haiji said. \"We have also imported many Earth brands to Ergon.\" Suki looked at the beer can. It was clearly Sapporo Premium - just with Ergonese glyphs on the can.\n\nSuki opened the Ramune. \"Oh!\" Haji says, opening the beer and running to the control panel. \"Watch this.\" He pushes a button, which causes the windows to project the image of driving on the highway, down a country road. \"Whoa...\" Suki says. \"Day/night cycle so you don't have your circadian rhythm messed up. This environment is procedurally generated and will change biomes every couple of days, so it feels like you're actually travelling somewhere. Something to make space feel less empty.\" Haji replies. \"I'm going to bed. I've been up for 20 hours already. And don't try to look for hidden nuggets of Ergonian info around the ship. It's got biometric locks.\" Suki rolls his eyes. They both prepare for the night and go to bed. The ship has two single beds at the back. Haji takes the right, Suki takes the left.\n\n-- Chapter 1: For Here, Am I Sitting in a Tin Can --\n\nHaji is up before Suki the next morning. He's prepared a delicious traditional Japanese breakfast. \"I made this using food mostly shared between Ergon and Earth, but I have some tsukemono made from tsaki as well, which is this,\" Haji said, setting the plate down and putting down a bright green pile of fruit. \"It tastes like kiwi and grapefruit.\" Haji says. Suki picks up the tsaki with chopsticks and sniffs at it. The two enjoy the meal and do the dishes.\n\nLater, Suki stopped studying the Ergonese pamphlet for long enough to look at the artificial outdoor environment. \"So... is this what Ergon looks like?\" Suki asks. \"More or less. You probably won't find anywhere on Ergon exactly like this, but it's based on different areas of Ergon. Looks like we're in... Bavayren, or Alosia, or somewhere like that. I'll get you a map!\" Haji gets a world map from a bookshelf and lays it out on the table. \"This is Earth.\" Suki responds. Ergon is, in fact, very similar to Earth, but a lot of the islands are closer together, and there are new islands in between the continents. \"Wrong,\" Haji said sternly. \"It's Earth, but cooler. Literally. Winters in the poles hit triple digits easily.\" \"I hope you mean Fahrenheit.\" Suki responds. \"Nope. Celsius. We haven't used Fahrenheit in over 1,500 years. We only use the metric system... we're a very global place, you see. All electronics can be used anywhere; you don't need to convert currency, you don't need to know any other languages, just dialects.\" Haji explained. \"Rad.\" Suki replied, studying the map. \"You have a landmass at the North Pole. Is it permafrost?\" Suki asked. \"No. Well, most of it is, but there's probably 400 square kilometres of solid land there.\" Haji replied. Suki is already beginning to grasp Ergonese glyphs. \"Alosia? Bavayren?\" Suki says, pointing to what would be Austria and Germany. Haji nods. \"Study the map. Proper nouns are the hardest thing to translate.\" Suki was in love. He spent the whole day learning Ergonian place names.\n\nThe following day, Haji wakes up to find Suki holding the ship's VCR. \"Oh.\" Haji says. \"I reverse-engineered your biometric scanner. You really should have its RAM be encrypted.\" Suki says plainly. \"Stupid cheapo VultoMart-brand locks...\" Haji says to himself. \"Usually, there are cheap but well-made items available to those with a lower income... but biometric scanners are considered luxury items, which don't have the mandated quality control.\" He explains to Suki. \"What kind of port is this?\" Suki said, pointing to a diamond-shaped port on the back of the VCR. \"Oh. That's the holoport.\" Haji says, grabbing a small disc with a cable attached to the back. Haji plugs it in. \"Let me find a spoiler-free tape.\" He says. \"Ah. Cannonball Run.\" Haji takes the tape from a shelf. He takes the tape from the sleeve and flicks a switch on the tape. \"What does that switch do?\" Suki asked. \"That switches between the English and Ergonese dub.\" \"Put it on the Ergonese dub.\" Suki says, Haji looks at him briefly, then grins, and puts the tape in, pressing play. A familiar-looking black sports car appears in living colour, floating above the disc. \"Whoa!\" Suki says. When he moves, the picture always stays facing him. \"That is too cool!\" He says. \"Hologram projectors are typically used for viewing 3D models, but people use them as regular movie projectors, too. Of course, this is a luxury-model VCR. Not every one has a holoport.\" Haji explained.\n\nHaji sits down and enjoys the film. \"We were hoping you'd share some technology with us... I'm not sure if you were told.\" He says plainly. Suki stands up and gets something from the bedroom. A Windows 7-era Western Digital external hard drive hits the table. \"I've held up my end of the bargain. The coding for the simulator is in there. But I have some special hardware that I run it on. I'll give you the specs, but I have a custom logic board in it that I can't exactly re-create... but if you guys manage to pull it off, big ups.\"\n\n\"I wouldn't be so unsure,\" Haji says. \"We already have similar-ish simulators for one of our racing leagues - the cars are remote-controlled due to the dangerous on-track action. It's basically a VR/simrig set-up with suits that emulate touch. It's way more in-depth than any simrig on Earth... but we could take it further... if your simulator is as advanced as you say.\" \"No promises. Without that chip... I can't guarantee it'll work.\" Suki says. \"That's a chance we'll have to take.\"\n\nThe next day, the two are having lunch. \"How much does McDonald's cost on Ergon?\" Suki asks. \"A Big Mac's like 250 credits... $2.50 USD. We try to maintain the value of the credit to be 100 per USD. This ship was about 5 mil.\" \"You mentioned cheap versions of stuff being available to low-income people?\" Suki asked. \"That's right. Non-luxury items are mandated to have cheap and reliable versions of them. Padlocks, cars, fridges... which is saying something because stuff on Ergon is already more durable and reliable than it is on Earth.\" Haji explained.\n\n\"Ergon's politics are based in conservatism and libertarianism, but have socialist elements like that.\" Haji explains. \"Did you get paid to say that?\" Suki quips. Haji opens his mouth, but pauses without saying anything. \"Yeah, I got paid 500 credits to say that. But it's true. If you commit, there's a job for everyone on Ergon. You'd fit right into the tech sector. Rome wasn't coded in a day, and certainly not by one person.\" Haji stands up and looks at the clock. \"We need to refuel tonight at about 20:00. You're more than welcome to watch.\" \"Don't have to tell me twice.\" Suki says with a smile. A few hours later, Haji deactivates hyperdrive. A tanker-like ship can be seen ahead. Haji pulls up next to it. A man in a spacesuit exits the tanker and guides a nozzle over to the motorhome ship. \"Should take 15 minutes to fuel. Then we'll be good to go until day 12.\" Haji said.\n\nSuki wakes up the next morning. Haji is running diagnostics. \"Systems nominal?\" Suki asks. \"Yep. Everything looks good. Uberdrive is experimental still, you understand. It's in the final testing phases, and this run is basically a test run. The logs have been great. We should be able to get this tech out the door in a few months.\" Haji replies. \"Is space travel common?\" Suki asks. \"It was in a lull before we started getting positive reports from Zark on Earth. We're hoping to have a whole tourism industry between our planets.\" Haji says. \"Well, you guys get the thumbs up from me. This trip has been a great pleasure so far.\" Suki replies. The rest of the day was pretty standard, with nothing of note happening.\n\n\"Do you like chess?\" Haji asks the next day. \"Of course. The thinking man's board game.\" Suki replies. Haji sets up a game of holographic chess. \"You can either move it like a touch-screen or by hovering your fingers above the pieces and 'moving' them like that.\" They begin playing. \"Do you ever... feel like you never grow up?\" Suki asks suddenly. Haji is taken aback. \"Can't say I have. Maybe because I'm 32 and look like I'm 32.\" \"Yeah, that's what I mean. I look and sound the same as I was when I was 15.\" Suki says. \"Well, that's when you're considered to be an adult on Ergon, so it makes sense.\" Suki wasn't shocked - Japan was somewhat similar. \"We might have to have some laws to prevent sex tourism, but hey ho. We believe strongly in consent being the most important thing. So if you're 10 and you wanna have sex with the neighbour, and your parents are cool with it, you can do that on Ergon. But on Earth? People suddenly get so up in arms about it.\" Haji continued. \"Driving licences are 13, by the way, and there are no child labour laws as long as they're paid the same, and their parents consent. There's also a big focus on public events on Ergon... the folks there are real friendly, trust.\" He added. \"Just as long as I don't find a book labelled 'To Serve Man' in this thing, we'll be cool.\" Suki said, garnering a belly laugh from Haji. \"Love that show. A lot of Ergon is similar to those old sci-fi shows.\" They were talking about The Twilight Zone.\n\nSuki wakes up the next morning and walks out of his room in the nude. \"Whup!\" Suki utters as his hands meet his genitals to cover his naked shame. \"Morning.\" Haji said casually. \"I, uhh, was dreaming I was in my house back on Earth. I forgot I wasn't alone.\" Suki excused his behaviour. \"That's fine, no shame. Nudity's legal on Ergon as long as you're not pissing or fucking.\"\n\nHaji stands up and drops his pants. Suki recoils. \"Don't worry, it's all natural. There--\" Haji began. \"That's fine - but could you please put it away? I... I have a thing with-- I don't like seeing... girl bits.\" Suki struggled to say. \"My apologies.\" Haji pulls his pants up and re-buckles his belt before bowing. \"I read the room wrong.\" Haji admits. \"No, you didn't... I just thought you had a penis.\" Suki said, getting dressed. \"I'm, like, the only one in my friend group who is gay gay. You know?\" He continued. \"Yes, I understand. Let me show you something. Assuming you're not grossed out by anatomical drawings.\" Haji said. \"No, of course not. It's just... the real deal I don't much care for.\"\n\nHaji set a medical textbook on the table and opened it to a page where a man and a woman were displayed on the left page, and a man with female genitalia and a woman with male genitalia on the right. \"S...seeba, and... deejer.\" Suki says, his finger hovering over the text for the male and female figures on the right, respectively. \"Refer to any masculine people you encounter with male pronouns and feminine people with female pronouns until you learn the seeba/deejer pronouns. There are a lot of people like you on Ergon, androgyny is pretty common. So, uh, just base it on vibes. They won't flip out like those crazy people on Earth.\" Haji affirms.\n\nThe following day, Haji has set up a PlayStation 2 and is holding a controller. Suki didn't hesitate. \"This game is a bit of a bigger dip into the waters of Ergon. Music, car culture, city designs.\" Haji says as he presses the console's on button. Suki picks up the game's box. \"Overspeed 2. Hmm.\" Suki reads with approval. The game's intro rolls after the developer splashes. The intro starts with Earthly classical music and pre-rendered footage of some very expensive-looking cars that resemble Earthling cars, but not any specific brands or models. Then it hit. The intro switched to in-game footage of the cars racing around with burning nitrous, and crashing in spectacular form with an impressive damage model. The music is what really got Suki, though. A thumping hardcore track with Ergon's signature... unusual time signatures. It sounded like a riddim song being played on classic synths at 160 BPM.\n\nIt was all over in 60 seconds. Suki held his fist over his mouth. He looked like he was about to cry. Then the start menu loaded up. A soft, rolling synth line began to play, before going into what sounded like gqom meets early deep house, with real handclaps and drums audibly being played live on the track. \"You okay, Suki?\" Haji asked, concerned. \"We are so back.\" Suki said, hitting the start button. A highly animated main menu came up. It had a very cyber feel to it. \"I'm guessing you like the music - there's also a rock and rap playlist available, or it can just be put on shuffle. Each different playlist changes how the HUD and menus look.\" Haji mentioned. \"No, no... I think I'm good with this.\" Suki affirmed.\n\nHaji selected multiplayer mode. The \"Go Online\" function wasn't greyed out. \"Wait, this game has online?\" Suki asked as Haji selected the track. Suki picked up the box; it had the standard PS2 online icon on the cover. \"Like, you could play with other people?\" Suki asks. \"Of course. This console just came out last year.\" Haji corrects. \"Oh, duh, Ergon is 25 years in the past.\" Suki reminds himself as they go to the car selection screen. He scrolls through the cars. They all have realistic-looking logos, but nothing that has ever been seen on Earth. \"Cool.\" Suki thought to himself. \"Just like Ridge Racer.\" But then he scrolled past a familiar-looking car with a big, blue bowtie in the corner. \"What the--?\" Suki says in Japanese, aloud, before scrolling back to the car. He opens the game's box and takes the manual out, thumbing through the pages to find the credits. He reads them, squinting. \"CHEVROLET, CAMARO, the bowtie insignia and shield design are copyright Gener-- Gentek Motors?!\"\n\nHaji guffawed. \"We've been building Earth cars for 75 years now. We'll continue to do it until interplanetary lawyers become a thing.\" Suki looked through the credits again. All those cars he saw on-screen were licenced. He shook his head in disbelief. If the game is as destructive as the intro implied it was, no Earth company would licence their cars to that. But there it was. 16 different manufacturers with fully licenced cars. Suki put the manual back and readied up. The game loaded. A hard trance song with an erratic, thumping bassline plays as a short cinematic intro rolls.\n\n\"Think of this game like Burnout - but instead of chaining boosts, it has a MotorStorm-type boost system.\" Haji explains. \"Thus the name.\" Suki replies. The game counts down. 3... 2... 1... GO! The gameplay is as described - it's a classic arcade street racer, but using the boost causes the meter to fill up, which results in a warning beep sounding when close to the edge, just like in MotorStorm. Suki grasps the game very quickly - and in fact beats Haji 4:1. He's not even crashing or exploding - which are the game's main draws. He's speechless and almost on the verge of crying again. Where was this game all his life? He would have played it enough to wear a hole through the disk as a kid.\n\n\"How are you so good at this game?\" Haji asks. \"My friends have said I'm like Dale Earnhardt... not that I can see the air, but that I can see... a racing line in front of me. I can see acceleration and braking zones on the track like I was playing a video game.\" Suki explains. \"I'm no good at overtakes, but if the other cars drive on a predictable path, like in a game, I can cut right through and shoot incredible gaps.\" He continued. \"Do you race?\" Haji asked. \"Autocross. I don't do well in crowds. Cars or otherwise. People are too unpredictable for me. That's why I love machinery. They behave exactly how I expect... unless some previous owner screwed it up. I bought a cheap Aurora R5 that someone had set up with the worst RAID I've ever seen on it. I had to reflash the OS.\" Suki told.\n\nHaji had a crooked grin sweep over his face. \"You're gonna love our drones.\" Suki's eyes met Haji's for the first time during the entire play session. He paused the game. \"Eh?\" Suki asked. \"Oh yeah, did I forget to tell you this past week? Our drones. They're totally programmable and fully functional robots. They look just like the sentients.\" Haji explained. \"Sentients?\" Suki asked. Haji had his full attention. \"Sentients. You know... organics... and androids.\" Haji danced around the answer in a teasing manner. \"You mean you have androids and robots?\" Suki said, struggling to contain his excitement. Haji nodded. \"You know, on top of the cash payment and royalties that we're willing to offer for a licence to your simulator tech... we may just be able to throw a drone in too.\" Suki's tail wags, and he begins rubbing his head into his shoulder subconsciously. \"You can design and build a drone or android however you want. But androids have a bill of rights and full sentience, so I would recommend a drone for you.\" Haji says. \"Can I get one, like, with a big barrelled chest, and a big... you know...\" Suki asks meekly. Haji smiles and nods. \"Is it, like, a faux pas to model a drone after a person?\" Suki asks bluntly. \"Yyyeah. Especially if they're still living, which is then a crime.\" Haji explains. \"Just give us a general prompt, and a lot of reference material to any real persons you have in mind so we make them, ah, legally distinct.\" He continued. \"I need to, uhh, take care of something in my room quick.\" Suki said, putting the controller down and walking to his room. Haji just smiled.\n\nThe following day, Haji slides a book toward Suki. He picks it up. \"The Preservation Act: How Ergon's most... important... law was formed.\" Suki reads stiltedly. Haji sits down with a smirk. Suki skims through it - he'd normally read it from the top, but Haji clearly wanted to tell him something with the book. \"So... let me get this straight. I could go to a Toyota dealership and purchase an AA?\" Suki asked. Haji smiled widely. \"Exactly right. Cars of that era aren't terribly popular, so I don't think they'd have one on display, but you'd be able to order one, and they'll have it ready in a month.\" Suki's hair stood up on end. How wild was that? A car that only had one surviving example on Earth is still being produced today on Ergon. \"Thanks to an update in the 1800s, a lot of the buildings are still what they were 200 years ago. Ergon has a very Victorian feel, despite all the new technology around.\" Haji explained. \"So, how are new buildings put up?\" Suki asked, trying to locate the update in the book. \"If a natural disaster or other accident damages a building, then the residents will vote on whether they want a new structure or a replica of the old one.\" Haji replied.\n\n\"So... what does a place like San Francisco look like? After the 1906 quake?\" Suki asked. \"City hall was rebuilt as it was, with the same going for some other structures. Quite a few 1906+ buildings are kicking around in the older districts.\" Haji replied. \"Tokyo Tower?\" Suki asked. \"It's on Ergon; the structures it replaced were not considered as significant as the Tower by the government.\" Haji replied. \"Empire State Building?\" \"The Waldorf-Astoria hotel sits at the address, but the Empire State Building was built a few blocks away.\" \"Eiffel Tower?\" \"Exists on Ergon.\" \"Sydney Opera House?\" \"Tram depot. The venue is at its original King and York Street location.\" \"Madison Square Garden?\" \"Penn Station. Like with Sydney, it retained its original location.\" \"The Imperial Hotel?\" \"1922 configuration.\" This conversation went on for some time. Suki loved The Preservation Act and thought it was absolutely brilliant.\n\nThe next day, the duo are finishing lunch. \"Has your crew told you about the Briknalla track project?\" Haji asks. \"No, I know about you building a copy of Briknalla on Earth, but I haven't heard anything outside of Brooklands being built.\" Suki replied, sopping up some remaining soy sauce with some tamagoyaki. \"Well, one of the Florida chapter members said, 'What if we put some video game tracks on New Briknalla?' We thought it was a cool idea, so we began planning where to put all of it. Meanwhile, we began the terraforming on Earth. You'll never guess what we found when strip mining the donor planet.\" Haji lead. \"Gold? Platinum? Jimmy Hoffa?\" Suki asked inquisitively. \"Groundwater.\" Haji said. Suki looked puzzled. \"For years, we thought the planet - Delta 4 - was a moon, before we discovered that it was actually a dry, barren planet. But when we began to dig into it - literally - we discovered that only the surface was barren. The planet was covered in dry, compacted volcanic ash. About 500 million years ago, every volcano on the planet went off, covered the planet in ash and plunged it into an ice age. Apparently, the planet's oceans were preserved and expanded when the ice melted.\" Haji said as Suki hung onto every word.\n\n\"You're gonna love this. We're expanding the video game track idea. We're gonna develop Delta 4 using video games as a guide. There's a lot of other fictional Earth and Ergon media that we'll feature as well. Name your favourite game.\" Haji said. \"Midnight Club II.\" Suki replied in an instant. \"Eh, okay, second-favourite.\" Haji said awkwardly. \"Need for Speed IV.\" Suki replied just as quickly - as if he had rehearsed that answer. Haji smiled and snickered. \"Have you ever wanted to drive around Landstrasse? Ride the train in Kindiak Park? Build a snowman in Snowy Ridge? Go fishing in Dolphin Cove?\" Haji rattled off as Suki's smirk grew. \"I'll have to visit sometime.\" Suki said with a smile. \"Good,\" Haji replied. \"It should be completed by 2028.\" Haji looked at the clock. \"We refuel in 10 minutes.\" It was halfway through the eleventh day when they refuelled. Haji had told Suki most of the big shocks, and the next few days were spent going over small things and cultural differences.\n\n-- Chapter 2: Völlig losgelöst von der Erde --\n\nIt was evening time, about 18:30, on day 17, when Haji turned off the roadway holograms. Suki, who was reading the Preservation Act book at a second-grade level, looked around in confusion. \"Hey, Earthling. Ready for the big reveal?\" Haji asked, looking back from the driver's seat. Suki nodded silently. \"Should be about 10 more minutes until we're within maximum safe range and need to step down to regular speed. We're already in Hypderdrive I.\" Suki sat down in the front passenger seat and buckled in.\n\nSuki said nothing, full of silent anticipation. \"Ready? Three... two... one...\" Haji counted down and deactivated the hyperdrive. The seats whirred to their fully back position in preparation before the ship decelerated. They shot forward again when the hyperdrive fully shut down. It felt like braking from full speed in a Formula 1 car. When Suki's vision returned, his eyes met the speedometer. It read 14 kp/s. Something caught the corner of his eye. A blue and green planet in the distance.\n\n\"You sure we haven't just been orbiting Earth for the last 3 weeks?\" Suki asks suspiciously. \"Does Earth have a bunch of islands in the Atlantic Ocean?\" Haji says smugly, handing Suki a pair of binoculars. Suki zoomed into the planet. The craft was surprisingly stable, so he didn't get sick using it. Haji was right, not only was Ergon's version of the Atlantic dotted with islands, but there were more large islands in their Pacific and Indian Oceans, too. The Kerguelen Islands were huge, as if the whole plateau had surfaced. Suki put the binoculars down. He had seen this planet before, in an xkcd What If? comic if he remembered rightly. \"Where are we going?\" He asked. \"World Headquarters in Sarquelle. It's about... 19:10 local time.\" Haji answered. The planet approached rapidly. \"You ready for this, kid?\" Haji asked. \"No turning back now.\" Suki said seriously. \"Do you have vertigo?\" Haji asked with the air of someone who was about to do something regardless of the answer. \"No, why?\" Suki responded casually.\n\nHaji cut the engines and fired the craft's control jets and inverted the craft. He throttled back up. Suki watched as Ergon flew past them - much slower now, 9 kp/s... 8 klicks... 7 klicks... they hit Ergon's upper atmosphere. The engines cut, and the control jets flipped the ship back forward - not fully, Haji had to scrape off speed yet. Glowing plasma licked at the craft. Suki touched his hand to the window - still cold to the touch. \"Sorry, I forgot marshmallows.\" Haji joked. Ergon got closer as the minutes passed and the speed slowly lowered. Eventually, Haji levelled the craft off. Suki saw the wings of the craft, which weren't there before the re-entry started, dart backwards like an F-14. The speedometer had switched to hours - they were cruising at about 3,000 kp/h. Haji entered a holding pattern as he slowed down and descended towards what looked like the Mediterranean Sea. The sun was just setting over the sea.\n\nThe ground was much closer now. They were flying over what looked like the Azure Coast. Haji picked up a microphone from what looked to be a CB radio. Suki couldn't quite hear what he was saying, but it sounded like he was talking to someone about locations. They came to a stop over a city on the waterfront. Suki recognised it as Nice, France. The wings retracted, and the ship flew straight downward at 100 kp/h, landing in a designated space. \"Welcome to Ergon, kid.\" Haji said as he exited the craft. \"That's it? No decon?\" Suki asked. \"No decon. We've taken thousands of samples from Earth; there's no risk to Ergon from Earth contamination - not naturally-occurring ones, at least. The risk is no bigger than that of a transcontinental flight.\" Haji closed the door.\n\nSuki grabbed his suitcases and exited the spaceship. He looked around. It didn't hit him at first. Then, he heard a jet coming into land. His eyes lit up. A Concorde was coming into land, droop snoot engaged. Suki beamed. He looked toward the terminal. A Boeing 767 was loading passengers on the tarmac. That's right. Right on the tarmac, with the use of what looked to be a Peugeot 504 stair truck. Just beyond it, some pilots were doing pre-flight checks on a DC-3. They were all emblazoned with Air France's livery, albeit with the text being in Ergonese. Suki caught up to Haji, who was walking towards the terminal.\n\n\"This place is amazing! I feel like I'm at a giant air show!\" Suki said with tremendous excitement. Haji smiled and kept walking. The inside of the airport didn't look that different from an Earth airport, aside from lowered security. The only thing the two had to do was go through a metal detector. \"Can I ask you a... big question?\" Suki says cautiously. \"Please. That's why I'm here.\" Haji says confidently. Suki looks at a departure board - which is still a split-flap display by the way - to look at the date. It read 2001 03 02. \"What does your government plan for September?\" Suki asked bluntly. Haji stopped, then turned to Suki. \"Nothing.\" Haji stated plainly and went back to walking. \"What do you mean, 'nothing?\" Suki interrogated, running after Haji and walking alongside him. \"The Gulf War never happened here. The Armenian Genocide never happened. Rome didn't conquer Europe. We've lived in peace for the last two millennia. There is absolutely no possible way that will happen on Ergon.\" Haji affirmed. \"The Americans thought the same thing.\" Suki retorted. \"Okay. Fine. You want to know what we're doing?\" Haji stopped and turned to Suki. He whispered the plan into Suki's ear - they were putting a SAM site on the World Trade Center disguised as an air conditioning unit. Just in case. \"Alright. Don't cry when you didn't learn from our failures.\" Suki threw up his hands and continued to follow Haji outside.\n\nOutside was a line of taxis coming and going. It looked like a busy pit lane at a race track. The cars were all various types, but mostly French - Citroen 2CVs, Renault 9s, Peugeots of all years, alongside some generic four-doors that Suki didn't recognise, all with strange badges. \"Are we getting a cab?\" Suki asked. \"Of course not. I'm a government man, and you're the most important guest we've ever had. Actually, you're the first!\" Haji said as what looked like a Toyota AA pulled up. It was a Toyota AA, in fact. It looked exactly like the one Toyota had built in 1987. Suki was frozen. Despite his Einstein-level IQ, Suki was completely dumbfounded. He looked at the car like a caveman would look at a 3D printer. He didn't even notice the driver take his suitcases and put them in the antique trunk. He snapped out of it when Haji told him to get into the car, and so he did.\n\nThe driver got in the car and began driving. Suki instinctively put his seatbelt on. Wait... a seatbelt? In a car from 1936? And why did the engine sound suspiciously like a 2JZ-GTE? Suki would know that sound anywhere. His own car had one. Suki looked around confusedly. \"Why does this 90-year-old car have a trunk, seatbelts and a 2JZ?!\" Suki barked. \"Because this car isn't 90 years old. It was built last week. We had Tokuhi make one for you specifically.\" Haji replied. \"Didn't you say it took a month to order a car?\" Suki said accusingly. \"When Joe Schmoe orders one, yes. But when the government asks for one, they'll deliver.\" Haji said slyly. \"This car is optioned with a lot of modern stuff. Wide tyres, ABS, airbags, seatbelts, AC, CD player, obviously a 2JZ... you can order one with all the modern bells and whistles, or you can order one exactly like it was in 1936!\"\n\nSuki looked out of the window. It felt like watching a movie. He had never been here before, outside of playing Driv3r on his computer. But the vibes were exact, down to the cars driving around. 1960s microcars, 1970s compacts, 1980s lorries... was that a 1959 Cadillac? Parked in front of a Nissan Be-1? Haji had prepared Suki well, but nothing prepares you for seeing a pumpkin orange Pike car parked behind a 6 metre long pink Cadillac as you're riding in a car that only one example remains of (on Earth, at least) in a country where none of these cars should be. Well, I suppose that sole survivor AA was found in Russia, after all...\n\nWhen they got on the motorway, they experienced a common occurrence on 1980s European motorways. A six-wheeled Citroen XM with the bodywork of a van blew the doors off the AA and everything around it. \"Bloody Hollander drivers!\" Haji snapped. Suki knew about Pierre Tissier's incredible 6-wheeled newspaper delivery vans; he was autistic about cars, after all, and also knew that their drivers drove like bats with their arses on fire that had been launched from Hell on a Saturn V rocket. He also knew that... \"I thought Hollander went bankrupt.\" Suki said, confusedly. \"Not here, they didn't. Ergon loves print media, remember? I mean, people still send telegrams. And not with that stupid phone app.\" Haji said confidently.\n\nSuki looked at the AA's speedometer. 120. Huh. In a tin can from 1936. Ah. \"Don't you think we're going a little too fast?\" Suki asked. \"He doesn't speak English. Try to ask him in Ergonese.\" Haji quipped. \"Are too drive you feast?\" Suki said in Ergonese bad enough to break glass. The driver must have thought he was retarded, or had packed away some booze from Earth, and they made him drink it all before entering Ergon. The driver rolled his eyes. He spoke in perfect Ergonese. He said something about this road being \"unlimited,\" which matched a sign that whizzed past - it was a German no speed limit sign. Somehow, the conversation happened, despite Suki's complete inability to speak the language without sounding like a toddler and the driver's thick Froeush accent. Froeush, that's where they were, according to the signs Suki had read.\n\nSuki watched the scenery and exotic, alien cars pass by as they drove through the night. \"Are all roads unlimited here?\" Suki asked. \"Only motorways, really. Jaekip has the same sign but with blue lines. America has it on a rectangular sign emblazoned with 'NO SPEED LIMIT.\" Haji explained. \"Man... the HERO Racers guys would love this place.\" Suki says to himself. Eventually, a road sign went past. Suki recognised the text; it was a \"Welcome to Sarquelle\" sign. They weaved their way through Sarquelle - it's a very tiny country, the Ergonian version of Monaco - and drove to the World Headquarters, located at the southwest corner of the country on a natural rock peninsula. The AA pulled up in the plaza. They had literally rolled out the red carpet. Suki got out. The driver got his bags for him, and Haji followed.\n\nThe three entered the palace. The AA driver took Suki's bags to a suite in the palace. The duo approached two large doors. \"Just so you know, Worl Lenthan is a bit... of a character.\" Two guards opened the doors. \"So ya... thought ya... might go to the show?\" The man in the chair said sing-song in English. He swung around to face them, a small dragon in his lap. It was Worl. \"Feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow?\" Suki smiled confusedly. Worl slowly reached his hand out for a handshake as if he was defusing a bomb. Suki shook his hand gently. Worl sighed a sigh of relief. He didn't explode.\n\n\"So... Suki, right?\" Worl asked in a normal voice, swinging his arm. Suki nodded quietly. \"These Earthlings don't talk much, do they?\" Worl said to Haji. \"He's shy around new people.\" Haji whispered back. \"Very well!\" Worl said grandly. He set his hands flat on the table, unsure of what to do next. Haji mouths something. \"Oh! Right!\" Worl says. He produces a contract on a clipboard. It's printed in English. It's a licencing agreement. \"Is Ergon law the same as Earth law?\" Suki asked plainly. \"More or less, although copyright has a shorter duration - 50 years with 25-year extensions available. Otherwise, it's the same, at least regarding to inventions and patents. If you're working with music or cars, things are different.\" Haji explained as Suki signed the document while reading it. Suki loved reading legal documents. He could probably pass the bar if he cared enough. The agreement was solid.\n\nSuki slid the agreement across the table, followed by the hard drive. \"I'm still not sure if you'll be able to make it work without the proprietary chip, but I have faith in you, considering you made an RV survive re-entry.\" Suki said to Worl. \"I like your attitude, Suki!\" Worl said, pointing at Suki with the fervour of a car salesman who had recently undergone shock therapy. \"This is a very important day in Ergonian history, Mr Kaede! Thousands of lives could be saved! Or, at the very least, we'll have one or two new motorsports series born from it. One of the two! Just imagine, Haji, a second season of the ARL in a year, taking place in video games!\" Worl booms. \"Can... you even do that?\" Haji asked. Suki nodded as if he had just been asked if he was enjoying his ice cream. Worl slammed the table and stood up with a huge grin, causing the dragon to flap its wings and land on a nearby perch. \"Wait until Ketarca hears about this! We've never been able to afford more than 12-14 races in a year, but now we can have a whole other season in the virtual world. Imagine it, Haji! The racing series with the power-ups of Carmageddon, in Carmageddon!\" Worl guffawed. \"What's the ARL? Sounds interesting.\" Suki asked innocently. The smile disappeared from Worl's face, before it came back as a Cheshire grin. \"Taykoni, book a meeting between Ketarca Thuioxca and Mr Kaede tomorrow at 12:00,\" Worl said confidently. \"Any further questions, Mr Kaede?\" Worl sat down and asked calmly. \"If I think of anything, I'll give Haji a ring.\" Suki replied, stood up, and bowed.\n\nSuki went to his suite in the palace. All of his belongings were lovingly unpacked. He grabbed his laptop. It had a sticky note attached to it, written in English. It was instructions on installing an Ergonian web browser on your computer. \"Haji?\" Suki asked. Haji leaned into the room. \"Can I trust this USB drive?\" Suki said, holding it in his hand. Haji walked over and inspected it. \"Yep. It's got the official government engraving. That should be the ErgoWeb browser. We're not sure if you'll be able to connect to the Ergonian internet using an Earth computer--\" Haji explained until Suki interrupted him. \"Give me the source code. I'll see if it works raw.\" Suki said as he signed into his laptop and plugged the thumb drive in, along with a provided USB wifi antenna. Haji went to get the source code. The browser had been installed. It seemed to be working - the internet access icon had a gold star on it. He opened the network selector, selected the palace's private wi-fi and input the passcode. After a tense couple of seconds, it connected. He opened the browser, which ran on a modified version of Netscape Navigator, which already had four bookmarks. Suki texted Haji (using an Ergonian \"digital communicator\" that Haji had provided) that it had worked. Suki found the settings and switched to English. The bookmarks were ErgoSearch, ErgoView, ErgoWiki and ErgoBuds. He clicked on ErgoWiki and navigated to the main page. It looked exactly like Wikipedia, but... different. Liminal. Much like the rest of Ergon. It felt dreamlike, like a long-ago memory. He looked at the news. He was in it.\n\nSuki clicked on the article, which was named \"2001 Earthling visit to Ergon.\" Haji walked back in. \"Remind me to publish my trip journal so you guys can cite it.\" Suki smiled and looked at Haji. \"You think that's cool?\" Haji turned on the television, which was a large, widescreen CRT. Suki heard clips and phrases in Ergonese as the tubes warmed up, before Haji switched it to the English broadcast. It was the news. \"The young man from Earth arrived safely on Ergon earlier this evening, shortly after 19:00. His name has not yet been released to the public, but he was seen with a man from the government at...\" The newscast showed photographs of him and Haji walking through the airport earlier. Suki had never seen himself on television before. What a wild experience he'd had so far. It wasn't even close to being over.\n\n\"Hey, uhh, is there any chance I can access Earth's internet here?\" Suki asked Haji. \"Technically, only the government can access it. But, you're basically an unofficial member of the government, so...\" Haji said, stroking his chin. \"Give me your IP address.\" He requested. Suki searched \"whats my ip address\" on ErgoSearch. Haji looked at the numbers - they were in a different format than an Earthly one - and wrote them down. \"Now, your computer's BIOS serial number.\" Suki opened the command prompt and brought up the serial number in less than 10 seconds. Haji wrote it down. \"I'll whitelist you.\" Haji said as he went to do that.\n\nHaji texted after a few minutes. \"Should be good now\", the text read. Suki clicked on the internet access icon and clicked the only selection available to the computer's standard wifi card. Haji walked in. \"We already have DTN to Earth. So it should load instantly. Just be aware, if you send something to Earth, it'll take a few minutes to get there, so instant messaging between planets is a foregone conclusion.\" He explained. \"I know what DTN is, Haji.\" Suki said with a smirk as he wrote to Kit, Sunny and Jeanie. He wrote about how he was safe on Ergon and was getting exclusive access to Earth's internet, being sure to mention the latency. He clicked send. A \"message sent\" notification popped up. It was sent alright - sent in the same way a homing pigeon would be sent.\n\n\"We are working on eliminating interplanetary latency - or at least reducing it to a terrestrial level - half a second of lag would be a miracle.\" Haji explained. \"How the heck are you gonna do that?\" Suki asked sarcastically. \"You're so up in arms about your sim not working without that chip, yet you have enough faith in us to make it work. So why couldn't we figure that out?\" Haji said with a salesman's smile. \"If you can figure out how to make a digital signal have hyperdrive, then you're in business.\" Suki said, which made Haji's smile disappear. That's a great idea. \"Go get some sleep. I have some... meetings to attend to.\" Haji said and left. Suki switched the news to the Ergonese broadcast. Maybe he'd learn something while sleeping.\n\n-- Chapter 3: You're a God --\n\nSuki woke up the same way one would in the hotel room on their vacation, but it was made all the more liminal by the fact that he was on another planet. He went about his morning routine as normal. There was a holographic alert sign - an exclamation mark in a triangle - on a metal box by the door. The box was the same kind as a library drop box. Suki opened it. There was a set of car keys, one for the ignition and one for the trunk. There was a dealership-style tag on it. It belonged to the AA.\n\nSuki left the palace, and the valet retrieved the car for him. He got in and drove to the opera house. A man with an ARL-branded polo guided Suki to a private suite in the hotel. It overlooked the marina and had a large, widescreen CRT at one end. A curvaceous fox woman wearing a dress with a plunging neckline, a halter top and a bottom that resembled a loincloth rather than a dress. She looked older, probably mid-40s. She had a glass of grape juice in her hand - definitely grape juice, Suki would have smelled it if it were wine. She wore glossy red lipstick and had dark blue eyeshadow, with eyelashes long enough to land a plane on. She was clearly someone used to using her sex to get what she wanted. That would not work on Suki. He bowed to her and sat down.\n\n\"So, you're that Earthling boy.\" The woman said with a predatory emphasis on \"boy.\" This woman is the one Worl mentioned last night, Ketarca. She had a deep, raspy voice that would bring most men to their knees. She sounded like she was from America. Florida, maybe. Or whatever the Ergonian equivalent was. Not a thick drawl, but she clearly wasn't from the North or West. She was a good old girl washed clean by years of corporate life. Suki almost felt bad for her. \"And you're a chick that grew up with her family racing stock cars but could never strike it big yourself and wound up in a managerial position.\" Suki said as if he were reading a grocery list to someone. Ketarca stiffened like water from a fountain in Antarctica. His assumptions weren't exactly right, but they were close enough to make Ketarca look like her soul had just left her body. Ketarca relaxed slightly. \"Let me guess. You're a sci-fi and computer nerd with high-functioning autism who saw an opportunity to live out a sci-fi fantasy and hop on the first alien spaceship he could. You've had such a horrible experience with people on Earth because your autism prevented you from being a 'normal' person that you decided to take a huge risk.\" Ketarca stated just as plainly as Suki did when he assessed her. \"I see you are also skilled in the art of reading people.\" Suki said as he took a sip of the soda that had been placed on the table for him before he came in. \"When you have to look over a room of 20 new drivers and have to pick out who to promote based purely on vibes, you learn how to read people.\" Ketarca said with a smile.\n\n\"I came here because of what you said, and to make money. I'm sure Worl has told you about what I brought.\" Suki says. Ketarca nods with a predatory smirk. \"I haven't ever had the president of the world come to me with an idea. We could go from a 12-week season to a full 36-week schedule as NASCAR does. One championship on Ergon, one on Earth, and one... in virtual reality. Considering we just sent our two wonderboys to Earth for a 12-week season, so we could still rake in viewers even without them.\" Suki wasn't a fan of the corpotalk. \"I see you're not as enthused with it as I am. I'm guessing you haven't studied up on the ARL yet.\" Ketarca says as she grabs two remote controls - one to turn the TV on and another to turn the VCR on. When she turned toward the TV, her nipples slipped out of the side of her dress. Suki rolled his eyes. She hit play on the VCR remote. A promo for the Action Racing League - that's the \"ARL\" that was being talked about so much - played. The promo had loud metal music with crunchy downtuned guitars, a loose bass guitar downtuned to the floor, lots of turntablism, rapped vocals and snare drums that were tight enough to drive a car on. The race action looked like a mix of Full Auto, Carmageddon and Destruction Derby, presented in a full-on \"attitude era\" fashion.\n\nAudrey would have jizzed in his pants, but it did nothing for Suki. Well, maybe it did: he smirked. He saw the potential. \"I'll have to send a copy of that promo to my friend on Earth. He'd love the presentation.\" Suki said. \"I do hope you get the simulator working. I only got it working with a proprietary chip my friend made for me.\" Suki was trying to avoid stating that the chip was literally magic. Ketarca slapped the table. \"He always leaves important info like that out. Always a politician.\" Ketarca said. \"Takes one to know one, I assume.\" Ketarca's ears twitched, and she looked at him with surprise. She smirked. \"I guess. When you do this shit for as long as I have, you kind of forget...\"\n\n\"You forget what fun is,\" Suki said as if it were a confession. \"I'm a workaholic too, Miss...\" \"Thuioxca.\" Ketarca said her name, which was pronounced (th-OO-ee-oh-zha). \"That.\" Suki said with a smile. Ketarca stood up to eject the VHS from the VCR, swinging her hips. \"Ketarca, you know I'm gay, right?\" Suki said. \"Oh, shit!\" Ketarca froze and turned to Suki. Her boob slipped out of her dress. She covered her chest with her arms. \"Let me... umm... get dressed more appropriately.\" She said awkwardly. \"Fine.\" Suki said with an amused smile. She left, saying something about not reading the room correctly. Suki sat down on the couch and turned the television on, switching the feed to network television. The news was on. He looked at the remote and found the button to switch from Ergonese to English.\n\nKetarca returned and sat back down next to him. She was dressed in an ARL polo and chinos. \"Good. Now we can have a professional conversation.\" Suki smirked. \"I'm not sure if you were told, but Ergon is so quad-coded that it's rare to see someone that's truly gay.\" Ketarca more casually. \"Quad--? Oh, quadsexual. For sexes, being bisexual would mean only liking half of them. Yeah, I guess I really am Ergonian gay. Boobs don't do anything for me and...\" Suki stopped talking and did a swirling point at Ketarca's crotch. \"Fair, fair.\" Ketarca giggled. It was as if Ketarca was liberated by not having to use her sex to converse. \"I don't think we've ever even had a gay ARL driver - and that's not me inviting you to drive for us, that's just a plain statement of fact. Though if I could find one, that might be a good plotline.\" Ketarca babbled on. \"Who gives a fuck?\" Suki asked severely.\n\nEven Ketarca could sense that he rarely used foul language. That, or it was odd hearing such aggression from such a meek creature. Probably that. \"Your promo said you were one of the biggest motorsports on the planet. Who cares if the drivers are queer?\" Suki interrogated. \"Look, kid. Ratings go up when boys kiss. I've seen the numbers. Last year had a big bump in viewership because of the 'will they or won't they?' dynamic that Tyau Tenniston and Jyx Xc'torr had.\" Ketarca tried to explain to Suki. He took his laptop out of its bag and loaded up ErgoWiki. He searched Tyau Tenniston. \"Was it because of the boys kissing, or was it because Tyau was the son of two of the biggest drivers in Ergonian motorsports?\" Suki asked. The accusation hung in the air like a paper aeroplane in zero gravity.\n\n\"Well, they loved it when I hooked up with Tyau's mom in 1980. I was her crew chief and--\" Ketarca scrambled for an excuse, but Suki cut her off. \"Did they love it because girls were kissing, or because you were playing a soap opera?\" Suki said. He was reading the ErgoWiki page for all of this. \"I'm sorry, Ketarca. Maybe in another life we could have been friends. But I don't hang out with fake people.\" Suki said as he packed his laptop away and stood up, before bowing to Ketarca and leaving. Ketarca had been called \"fake\" more times than a Chinese watch, but she clearly still didn't get it.\n\nSuki's d-comm pinged as he rode the elevator. He ignored it - a rare moment for Suki. He went to his car and started it, putting the radio on. He had found an electronic music station on the drive across town. The song that was playing was a mid-tempo, spacious deep house track with reverb-doused drums and quiet synths rising and falling. A woman's voice softly sang over the instrumentation. From what Suki could make out, it was a song about change. He drove to the railway station down the road from the opera house, where the Fairmont Monte Carlo is on Earth. He parked up and got out, standing at the car's open door and looking over the marina, which he could clearly see as Le Portier was banned from ever being built on Ergon, with his long blonde hair and the drawstrings of his shorts blowing in the ocean breeze. He felt the distance from his home. As anti-social as he was, and as much as he hated Earth, it had something he was missing here: familiarity. His mood was not helped by feeling like a god due to his overworldly status.\n\nA group of cars pulled into the car park. They were all painted a variation of cool grey. Suki watched them through the car's side mirror. He didn't recognise what any of the cars were. They all got out of their cars after parking them in a neat row. Suki tended to silently watch people from a distance and observe them like this. It was a defence mechanism. One of them was a severely obese bear, and one of them was a muscular dragon whose flame tattoos matched the ones on his pearlescent greyish-blue car. Clearly an Audrey type. One was a meek, androgynous rodent-looking creature with big glasses. They had a DSLR camera. Suki liked the look of that one. The other flame-emblazoned car was being driven by a huge wolf. 6'5\", big muscles, big belly, big boobs, big... whoa. Suki liked the look of them, too.\n\nThe mouselike one put a fish-eye lens on their camera and walked toward the overlook. They were wearing a sleeveless hoodie that said \"VICTIM\" on it in red, chicken scratch Ergoense text. They wore short shorts that barely met the fishnets on their legs, which went down to their torn-up Chucks. Suki looked them over when they walked up, pretending as if he was watching a ship on the ocean. They had a package. It wasn't a big one, but it was noticeable from a side-on view. They took a panoramic photo of the city. \"Hello, my name is Suki.\" Suki said in Ergonese that was good enough for him to sound like a native speaker (albeit one from Jaekip). He offered a handshake. \"Tixi.\" The mouse responded and shook Suki's hand. It sounded like a feminine name. Dang. Suki continued to look her over, not realising the mouse was doing the same. Either Tixi had a super-baggy shirt on, or she had very small breasts. Worth pursuing. Tixi was reaching the same conclusion. The polar bear broke the tension.\n\nThe bear bellowed at Suki in a vaguely Eastern European accent as she walked over to him. It almost sounded like Svetlana. She said something about being surprised that a young man was driving a car that old. \"Rental.\" Suki said in Ergonese. His mannerisms were awkward, but his delivery was solid enough. \"Bullshit.\" The bear said in Ergonese. \"No joke. This thing has a 2JZ, AC, and a CD player!\" Suki told her. She was suspicious of him. The dragon spoke up. He sounded gayer than Suki expected. He commented that it might actually be a rental car, given it was left-hand drive, and that Suki sounded like he was from Jaekip (where right-hand drive cars were used).\n\n\"I am Zestava. You have met Tixi. This lunk is Drae, and big xcalthallpa here is Xeagan.\" The bear introduced her friends and herself. Suki looked at the dragon. Drae's crotch was flatter than his own. Dang. \"Zestava... like the car?\" Suki asked her. \"Eh, one letter off... You can call me Zest.\" She shrugged. \"Are you local? You don't sound local.\" Suki says. \"No, no. We are here on road trip. We're a pretty international club, anyway. I'm from Ruskovana, Drae is Ameuian, Tix is Jaekipian and Xeagan?\" Zestava said before looking to Xeagan. She said she was from a place called Wannadoo, but the rest of the dialogue was swear words. Suki hadn't heard any Ergonese swears before this conversation, but he was sure he had now. Some pretty severe ones, too. It had to have been Ergon's version of Australia. Suki introduced himself. He was blushing.\n\n\"So... where are you guys going?\" Suki asked. Zestava said that they were going from the Ergonian version of Gibraltar to Istanbul. \"Around the... uhh... I'm bad at places. Big boot country.\" He asked, being embarrassed by sounding like an idiot. He was great with geography, but not Ergonian geography, despite his studying of it on the trip over. \"Around Intomaccia, yes. Grellis too.\" Zest confirmed. That was a 5,000-km drive. About 0.01% of the trip Suki just made, but still really long, especially driving and not flying through space at warp speed.\n\nSuki and Tix thought they were playing it cool, but it was clear to the adults in the parking lot that they had a connection. Zest smiled. \"Come with us, we are heading to Nice for a bite to eat.\" \"He looks lonely.\" Tixi said in English. Suki's eyes darted toward her, but he pretended not to understand. He didn't want to be caught as an alien. These people were interested in him for a reason other than his technology or otherworldly status. \"Lead the way.\" Suki said. \"Let's see if that grandpa car can keep up.\" Drae said. Everyone rushed to their cars.\n\nSuki hopped in his car and put his seatbelt on just as the radio DJ announced the next track. Blood is Pumpin' by VooDoo & Serano. A hard trance classic. If Suki had to pick a favourite subgenre, it was hard trance. But the DJ announced that the song was brand-new. That shook Suki a little bit. After all, he would be only a month and a half old today in Earth's 2001. He was still first out of the parking lot. For some reason, all of the drivers turned right out of the parking lot, despite that not being the fastest way out of the country. Formula 1 does things to a person. They raced to the coastal road and into the tunnel - not Tunnel Larvotto - the original, beautiful brick archway tunnel. Suki had raced this version of Monaco countless times on a modded copy of Grand Prix Legends, but experiencing it was something else. It was like driving into a forgotten Polaroid. They followed in line to Tabac, rounding the corner to see the lack of a pool chicane ahead. Into Gazométre. Now it's a sprint to the motorway. Suki was still more familiar with the area than the others, thanks to playing GTI Club as a kid. He cut through the city's tight, ancient streets and tunnels as the others followed - ensuring they didn't lose sight of the little black car. Sunlight blinded them as they merged onto the 6007. They were in Froeush again. Suki jammed the pedal to the floor - the stock-tuned 2JZ giving everything it had. The squad of cool grey cars passed him by with an array of unusual-sounding horns. Dang.\n\nThey didn't disappear into the distance - but they still made Suki work for it. Eventually, Nice - or Naese, as the road signs said - loomed ahead, and the blue crew slowed down. They led him to some hole-in-the-wall pub in the north end of town. Ample parking, though. They weren't going to let Suki know, but this place was a dive that they chose on a whim. Dive bars still served food on Ergon, at least. They went in. The Passenger by Iggy Pop was playing on the bar's sound system. Not Suki's type of music, but it grounded him a bit. There was a 6-seat table open. Zestava took up two chairs, and Drae and Xeagan sat across from her. Suki took the remaining chair from next to Zestava, and Tixi took the one between Drae and Xeagan. They both put them on the side of the table to let them see the front door. Suki always liked doing this. It was something he picked up from Keith. Tixi, however, was just crushing on Suki.\n\nDrae and Xeagan both ordered beef taretare. Zest told the waitress to surprise her (and give her extra helpings). Suki didn't have time to think about what Tixi ordered. He just said that he'd have the same thing she was having. He didn't hear \"dmais,\" the Ergonese word for snail, so he'd likely be fine. \"What did you get?\" Suki asked Tixi. She was surprised briefly, before snickering. \"Froeush onion soup.\" It was the same recipe as on Earth, only the name had changed. The way she responded was the same way one would respond to a dog not being able to fit a tree branch through a gate. Appreciation, not condescension.\n\n\"Do your friends speak English?\" Suki asked Tixi in English, and in a whisper. She nodded and jerked her chin toward Zestava. \"I am acutely aware of your feelings for each other.\" Zest says in English, purposefully using verbosity to prevent any easy translations from the \"muscle buddies.\" \"It is of grandiose joy to see Tix having a special interest in someperson.\" Zest continued. \"Do believe I, for I experience a similar lifestyle,\" Suki said, nailing the code. He loved language, anyway. And coding. Mm. Coding. \"I simply must admit to my homosexuality... but this planet's phallused women make me feel mighty unusual sensations.\" Suki said, blushing and chuckling. He was serious, but the verbosity made him laugh. It made Zest and Tixi chuckle as well. \"Well, antlered person, I am more than willing to attempt an intimate encounter with you.\" Tixi said softly. \"Of course I would hook up with someone while speaking in code on a foreign planet. My life is just an episode of The Big Bang Theory.\" Suki quipped with a smile. Tixi and Zest looked at him strangely. The big bang theory was the basis for Ergon's secondary religion, Deithosity. Not a television show. \"Oh, I guess you guys don't have that yet. Wait a few years. You'll be reminded of me when it premieres.\" Suki continued. His smile disappeared. Ohh, crap. \"Huh?\" Zest asked. \"I said no-thing!\" Suki said in the same manner as Sgt. Schultz would on Hogan's Heroes. It garnered a laugh from everyone at the table. Drae and Xeagan didn't know the context; all they knew was that Zest said \"huh\" followed by Suki quoting an old TV show.\n\nThey conversed about life, cars, and everything. Drae mentioned his car has an \"R8\" engine. Suki was confused briefly before remembering the Audi R8 LMP car. He became more confused when Drae mentioned upgrading \"both cranks.\" A dual-crank V8 is impossible. Suki's confusion didn't go unnoticed. Tixi took his hand. \"Feeling alright?\" She mouthed. Suki frowned and shook his head. \"We'll communicate after this luncheon.\" Tixi whispered. They finished their lunch and drove to the marina. Zest distracted Drae and Xeagan with some hacky-sack. Suki and Tixi walked toward the lighthouse. They sat on the wall and looked out at the ocean. Suki took her hand. He hung his head in his other hand. \"You can tell me.\" Tixi said in a kind tone, putting both hands on his thigh. \"I don't want you to change what you think of me if I tell you.\" Suki said. He was almost crying. Tixi put both of her hands on his shoulders. \"I like you, Suki. Unless you're a terrorist or something, my opinion of you will be the same.\" She affirmed.\n\n\"I'm... from Earth.\" Suki admitted. A tear rolled down his face. Tixi's eyes widened, and she got a big, open-mouth smile. \"Don't.\" Suki said bluntly. \"Right.\" Tixi snapped out of it. \"I said I wouldn't.\" She smiled and wiped the tear from Suki's face. He twitched - he wasn't used to being touched. Tixi hugged him. He hugged back. He broke the hug and took his glasses off. \"I've been feeling like everyone has treated me like...\" Suki explained, but words failed him. \"Like an alien?\" Tixi quipped. Both snickered. \"Come on. I'll take you to our leader.\" Tixi teased. They got up and walked back toward the parking lot. \"Are we still on for that... 'intimate encounter?\" Suki asked. Tixi smiled and chuckled, then touched his butt. This made Suki jolt. He was into it, but didn't expect it. \"We're staying in Sarquelle for the day, anyway. Zesty needs a king-size bed for herself, Drae and Xeagan took a queen suite, and I got a room with two separate beds and nobody to go in the second one. Not like I'd let you out of my bed.\" Tixi smirked. That made Suki melt. Who doesn't like an emo power bottom?\n\nThe crew drove to the hotel in Sarquelle. Suki still hadn't read his text messages. And he wasn't about to. The crew went to their rooms, which were all within a few doors of each other on the same level. Tixi put the do not disturb sign on the door handle. She wasn't wasting any time. She stood at the foot of one of the beds. Suki was about to ask her to remove her shirt in the kindest manner possible, but she was already there. She slid her hoodie off and tossed it aside. She waited to let Suki take her in. She wasn't quite as flat as a board... more so as flat as a dinner plate. Suki stared at her chest with hunger. His eyes traced her body downward. Her tummy wasn't tight, but she didn't have much of a belly, either. A trail of pubic hair led downward from her navel. She unzipped her shorts and entered a wide stance. Distressed denim hit the floor, clutching a neon pink thong inside. Her penis was small and flaccid, with a natural foreskin, with an opening that showed her cockhole and a little bit of her head. She took off her shoes.\n\n\"The fishnets and glasses stay on.\" Suki said plainly. Tixi snickered. Suki was still dressed but clearly fully hard under his shorts. Tixi approached him slowly. He remembered that he wasn't just there to watch and unzipped his shirt and took it off. Tixi got on her knees and pulled Suki's shorts and underwear off, resulting in a string of pre flicking onto Tixi's face. She licked it up and took Suki by the shoulders. She put him on the bed. He got up onto his knees. She crawled into bed and started kissing him. She was a good kisser. Not as good as Colin, but a lot better than Keith or Audrey, who just tended to put Suki's entire muzzle in their mouth instead of actually kissing him. In fact, this was Suki's first time with another prey animal. Suki's tounge straked over Tixi's buckteeth as their erect cocks poked at each other. They were a similar size, the size a more insecure man would desperately call \"average\" despite being completely wrong.\n\nSuki broke the kiss. \"Are you clean?\" He asked. Tixi looked at him weirdly. Not guilt, but legitimate confusion. She smelled her armpit; her hair was already matted with sweat. \"Bleugh!\" She vocalised jokingly. \"A little musk never hurt anyone.\" She said and tried to kiss him again. Suki pushed her away. \"Do you have any condoms on you?\" Suki asked. She laughed. \"I know you're not from around here, but you can't get a deejer pregnant!\" \"Do you have an STI?! Yes, or no?!\" \"I don't own a Subaru, no.\" Suki grabbed his head in frustration and layed back on the bed. Tixi loomed over him with a smirk. \"Sexual disease doesn't occur on Ergon.\" \"Why didn't you tell me that, then?\" Suki laughed in relief. \"Because...\" Tixi leaned in. \"You're easy to get wound up.\" She kissed him and stroked his member.\n\nSuki wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in. They cuddled and felt each other up. Tixi worked Suki over, eventually bringing his butt up to her crotch. She slid her cock into his ass and humped him rhythmically. The sex wasn't great, but the intimacy really made Suki relax. He melted into her thrusts. She continued thrusting for a bit before pulling out. Suki turned around and made out with her. Both began to apologise for not being able to perform, talking over each other. They laughed. \"Let me guess. You're used to being a bottom, too?\" Tixi nodded. \"This is my first hook-up... I guess I'm nervous.\" Suki admitted. Tixi kissed him. \"Don't worry. This is my third.\"\n\n\"I wouldn't worry about it. We're just a couple of teens still.\" Tixi reassured him. \"Wait, how old--\" Suki said before Tixi interrupted him. \"Don't worry, I'm 16!\" Tixi said with a smile. Her eyes widened, and her smile disappeared as she felt Suki cum on her torso. \"Uh... oh. That... I don't... like... kids. That's... weird.\" He muttered awkwardly. \"Well, your dick seems to like them.\" Tixi said in a predatory manner. \"How old are you?\" She interrogated with a toothy grin. \"Tw... t... 25.\" Suki spat it out. Tixi moaned and came on his torso, shuddering. She kissed him and hugged him, smearing cum between them. They had okay output, considering their sizes. \"Just remember. Age of consent here is 15.\" Tixi smiled. \"How come I feel like I just invented a sex tourism clause?\" Suki said. Tixi laughed. \"Let's get cleaned up.\"\n\nThey got into the shower and started cleaning off. Suki was looking for the right words about confronting his own pedophilia. He was in denial for many years, I mean, he liked three types. Musclebros, thicc femboys, and teen boys. \"Look, Suki. If you like kids, you like kids. No sense in stopping yourself. Just as long as you keep it private - I know how authoritarian Earth's laws are - you'll be good. You strike me as the kind of guy who knows how to hide his online activity from the government anyway. And... I won't tell.\" Tixi said and gave him another kiss.\n\nThey woke up tomorrow morning in the same bed, nude and clean. Suki ran his hand down Tixi's body. That wasn't Colin's body. It was too compact. He opened his eyes. Tixi groaned and opened her eyes. \"Hey, Earthling.\" Tixi said and smiled before giving him a peck on the lips. \"Never thought I'd ever wind up with a girl.\" Suki replied. \"Well, I'm not a girl. Not an Earth girl. I'm a dej, after all.\" Tixi said with a wink. They got out of bed and got dressed. Suki finally checked his phone. He had two unread messages from Haji. The first one said, \"Big news!! Meet me at the palace.\" The second one, sent five hours later, read as follows: \"No problem if you need some time. :) Space travel is stressful. Text me if you need anything.\"\n\n\"Hey, sorry to hit-and-run, but I have some... alien things to take care of.\" Suki said. Tixi snickered. \"Don't feel bad about it. We don't have those hang-ups here. Casual sex is as common as taking a girl out for lunch.\" Tixi said. She led Suki to Zest's room. She knocked and called for Zest, but she wasn't there. Zest appeared out of Drae and Xeagan's room and called Tixi. Tixi and Suki went into the room. Drae was going over their route for the day with a map. Zest was packing up. Xeagan stood at the foot of the bed that Drae was sitting on-- whoa!\n\nSuki's eyes darted to it. Xeagan's dick was hanging out of her undies. That thing was big. It fell to her knee and was as thick around as Suki's thigh. It looked exactly like a canine penis, but it had no knot, and it had a flaccid look to it, as if there was no baculum. \"Morning, sunshine.\" Xeagan said in English. Suki was frozen, his fur bristling. Tixi elbowed him. \"I just wanted to say...\" Suki cleared his throat and began speaking in Ergonese. \"I want to say, 'It was nice meeting you.' I have a meeting. Can we meet later?\" He asked. \"Of course!\" Drae said in English. The musclebuddies were none the wiser; they just thought he was special needs. \"And remember to add us on ErgoChat!\" Tixi said. Suki nodded and left. \"Was it good?\" Xeagan asked Tixi. \"The sex was mid, but man, is he a good cuddler.\" Tixi replied.\n\n-- Chapter 4: Catching Rays --\n\nSuki started the car. The radio DJ said something about the next artist possibly having a full-length album, following the success of this song, later in the year. Lady (Hear Me Tonight) by Modjo played. Suki laughed and started driving. He was getting used to the retrofuturism of Ergon. He sang along to every word and bobbed along to the song, which was an all-time classic for him, and a huge summer hit on Ergon.\n\nHe pulled up to the palace and gave his keys to the valet. Haji met him there - Suki had texted him whilst leaving the hotel the road trippers were in. Haji looked very excited. They went inside and went straight to Worl's office. \"Suki, young man, I could kiss you. As a matter of fact...\" Worl stood up from his desk. He's an athletic mountain lion with solid cream fur and short brown hair with front-swept bangs. Tall, too. Probably 6'1\". He picked Suki up and kissed him. Suki started making out with him. Worl was cool with that. Haji was a little flustered, maybe even jealous. Worl wasn't that good of a kisser.\n\n\"What was I talking about?\" Worl asked as he set Suki down. \"Right!\" He said as he snapped his fingers. \"Mr Kaede, you may have just made a significant breakthrough in interplanetary communication.\" The three sat down. \"Sometimes, you just need another set of eyes. Another brain in the bowl to spark a great idea. We never thought to apply the warp system to something so minuscule. We were so distracted with evolving Hyperdrive for ships that we never thought to do it for other stuff. You might even be able to play a first-person shooter on two different planets with data warping. Bringing you to this planet may have been the greatest decision I've made in the last 25 years of presidency.\" Suki looked at Worl with puppy dog eyes and a smile. Worl gave him a head pat and fed him a salt cube.\n\n\"I've also called you here to give you this.\" Worl put a brochure on the table. It was in English, and it was for a servant drone. Suki's eyes lit up. He thumbed through the pages. Fully customisable code. Different body types. Customisable heights and weights. Interchangeable genitalia options. Woof! Suki's heart raced. \"Take your time, son. You've got your whole vacation to decide. Ignore the prices - we'll get you whatever you want.\" Worl assured him. Suki took a deep breath and nodded. He took the brochure and put it in his laptop bag.\n\n\"Could I ask you for another favour?\" Suki asked. He was expecting a \"no.\" \"Of course!\" Worl said grandly. \"Within reason.\" Worl corrected himself. \"I was wondering if we couldn't have a chapter of our club on Ergon.\" Suki told Worl. \"Yes! I love it. Just know that we enacted a law before we contacted you that states that no Earthling may take up permanent residence on Ergon.\" Worl explained. \"No problem. We'll have Ergonians run the chapter, and with our data warps, we'll have them be a part of our meetings.\" Suki responded. \"Very good. Just tell me the location, and I'll gladly assist you.\" Worl said. Suki nodded and stood up. \"I'll text Haji with a list of potential locations if I think of any - or, better yet, you can bring me your own list.\" Suki said, facing Haji halfway through the sentence.\n\nSuki went back to his room. He put the news on TV, sat at a coffee table and created an account for ErgoChat - which was also an account for all of Ergon's other official government websites - ErgoView, ErgoWiki (he's likely to spend a lot of time there), etc. He joined the chatroom that Tixi had given him a slip for. Nobody was online - they were all out road tripping and didn't have time to get on their computer (social media/chat programs weren't put on phones on Ergon as the government believes you should just use SMS instead). Suki read the chat log. There was an option to translate them to English (and, in fact, the translation was almost perfect, including context and tone), but he kept it in Ergonese so he could learn better. This was another way of observing people. A way of managing expectations.\n\nHaji knocked and walked in sooner than later. He wheeled in a whiteboard that was covered with a white sheet. \"You work fast. Very good.\" Suki said as he set his laptop on the table, closing it. \"Call it the Ergonian spirit.\" Haji replied as he unveiled the board. It was a map that could be drawn on with an erasable marker. All of the strange islands Suki saw when they approached Ergon (and more) were there and marked with their country flags and their names in Ergonese and Latin scripts (remember, proper nouns aren't translatable). \"We call these the 'non-Earthling' islands, for obvious reasons. Well, they're kind of Earthling - their footprints resemble the underwater geology of Earth, but the topography is different.\" The way Haji spoke would make most people fall asleep, but Suki hung onto every word. He introduced the island between Ameuia (America) and Eutoia (Europe) first. \"This is Rayken. It's the most populous island of all of the non-Earthling islands and, historically, the most important. It's got the mildest climate of all the NEI's - the coasts are a southeast Japan/USA type climate and the interior is a northern Japan/midwestern USA vibe.\" Haji pitched the location to Suki. \"Though, they are having an unseasonably warm winter right now - it's been hitting 15 consistently there, even in the central areas, so you won't have to put your cold-weather clothes on.\"\n\n\"What about the Kerguelen Plateau?\" Suki asked. \"That caught my eye when we were coming in.\" \"That's Kagulua. It's similar to Iceland or Greenland, and just like those places, not too many people live there.\" Haji explained. Suki pointed to the large archipelago - it had to have been 5,600 km long - between Africa and South America. \"That's a grouping of about 15 countries. The top five islands are tropical rainforests - they're big fruit exporters there, and a lot of the fruit is native, so if you ever want to experience some unique Ergonese flavours, order from there. These middle ones, including these ones closer to the coasts, are subtropical, and the big one near Uruguay actually has a pretty hot car scene. The ones south of the middle ones, including the little ones here, are temperate and rainy. Think of it like the Pacific Northwest in America - damp, but with a good fishing industry. The bottom two, including this weird land bridge, are subarctic and are again similar to Greenland/Iceland.\" Haji said in the same tone as a college professor.\n\n\"This island, right here, is your second-best choice,\" Haji said, pointing to a massively tall and skinny island West of South America. \"This is Setrista. She's a beast of an island, with a tropical, hurricane-battered North, dry plains in the middle, and a cold, windy and wet temperate south.\" He continued. \"What about the islands to the West?\" Suki asked. \"Kagulua, but worse. The only place considered to be more extreme on Ergon than those islands is the poles. This is Erista. Temperatures barely hit 5 degrees Celsius in the summer, and its Western tip is one of the windiest places on Ergon. We once recorded a gale of 450 klicks there. It's got an ice bridge to the South Pole.\" Haji explained and awaited any further questions.\n\n\"I think Rayken might work.\" Suki smiled. Haji shook his head as if he had just pulled it from ice water. He sighed. \"You just wanted to learn more about Ergonian geography, didn't you?\" Haji smiled. Suki nodded obediently. \"Got any plans? I can get us tickets in five minutes.\" Haji asked. Suki smiled and nodded again. Haji rolled the whiteboard out and left the room. Suki got packed up and met Haji outside the palace. They got into the Toyota AA and drove to the airport in Naese.\n\nThe duo got through the airport quickly and easily, breezing through the metal detector. They walked out of the terminal and right onto the tarmac toward an Air Froeush 737-500. Suki looked like a right tourist now, head on a swivel, admiring how otherworldly this experience was on modern-day Earth. He almost had a presidential-style trip up as he ascended the stairs into the plane, being distracted by the atmosphere of the now-distant airport experience. Haji had secured first-class seats. What really mattered to Suki is that Haji got the optional in-flight wifi. That meant Suki could wind himself down with some research.\n\nThe flight was a quick one, typical of a 737, taking a little under 2 hours until touching down in Rayken. The airport was on a smaller peninsula about the size of County Kent in England. This place sure looked a lot smaller on the map. They exited the plane and headed through the airport terminal. They walked to a nearby car rental agency. Some 1970s funk rock track crackled through old speakers in the parking lot. Colourful plastic flags were strewn around the lights of the parking lot. The lot was filled with cars of all ages, types, and shapes. Not an Earthly car between them. It was rare for a car enthusiast - especially someone with the autistic particularity that Suki had - to go into something like this totally blind.\n\n\"Could I help you find something, Sirs?\" A middle-aged man in a tweed suit said in Ergonese as he approached the two. Even for 2001, he looked out of date. Suki smirked. \"I want your best sound system. Dolby, Bose, Alpine, whatever's got the most boom.\" The man nodded and went inside. \"Did I say I wanted a car loaded with explosives?\" Suki asked Haji in English, nervously. \"No, that was the correct innotation of 'nooz.\"\n\nThe man returned with a single set of keys. Suki took the keys and read the tag. It said the car was a 2001 Fujako Laurocie VIPiX. He hit the unlock button. A midnight blue four-door chirped, its four-ways blinking. The car looked like a mix of a 1990s Nissan Laurel and a late-1990s Subaru Legacy. It had boxy bumpers and aggressive ground effects. It sat on 19\" chrome rims and low-profile tyres. It looked like it belonged to a high-ranking Yakuza member, but... \"We just got that one in. 130 k's on the dial, full Dolby surround system with 6 CD changer, 18cm subwoofers in the rear shelf, 500w amp, and touchscreen mix control with customisable visualiser.\" The man explained. \"Yeah... I think we'll take that one.\" Suki and Haji went inside. The man set a waiver, contract and insurance form on the counter. Suki signed them and started to read them over, until he realised how many words there were that he didn't recognise. \"I don't speak legalese. Am I about to sign a kidney over?\" Suki whispered to Haji. He looked it over and gave a thumbs up. Suki gave the forms back over and put 800 credits - US$80 - on the counter. He was about to take them back before the man calmly put the money in the till. No credit card required. Hell yeah. Instead of charging your card, the rental companies just lock you out of the car if your time expires.\n\nSuki snatched up the keys in victory and walked to the car. He and Haji got in. Suki cranked the engine over. It roared to life with a rasp that would make E.T. blush. Wait, why did it sound like a 1960s Porsche race car? Suki popped the hood and got out, walking to the front and opening the hood after struggling to find the hood latch, as we all do. He looked into the engine bay in disbelief. His fingers danced over the intake manifold, counting the ridges. One... two... three... four, and a matching pair on the other side. A boxer 8 super saloon. Must be the Subaru DNA. Suki closed the hood and got back in the car, still flustered. He closed the door behind him. Haji smirked at him. Suki shook his head and smiled. He put his seatbelt on and put the car in gear. But first...\n\n\"Know any good techno stations here?\" Suki asked, his hand navigating the infotainment screen to the radio section. Some classical station was on. \"On the Northeast Peninsula? 107.3's your best bet.\" Haji replied. Suki swept his fingers to the right, landing on the frequency. It even displayed the station's logo. \"Does this thing have wifi?!\" Suki said to himself. \"For 800 credits a day, it better.\" Haji quipped. Wub, wub, wub, wub-wub-wub. A classic DnB snippet played. Suki brought the volume and bass up to \"MAXXX\" while leaving the other settings at the meticulous 50% setting the rental agent had set it at. The DJ in the song rapped about \"taking this night to another fucking level\" with a thick East London accent through a heavily-noisegated filter. Then it hit.\n\nThe bass ripped through the car at a relentless 130 bpm in 2/4 time. What sounded like a Juno What The effect distorted to the point of sounding like a guitar amplifier after losing an argument with a hatchet matched the bass hits as piano stabs filled the empty spaces. The car vibrated. The rear-view mirror looked like it had been smeared with Vaseline. At least two car alarms went off. The rental agent's gold tooth vibrated. Suki dumped the clutch and sped out of the lot, sliding onto the road. He was full throttle - he could see the road turn into a motorway ahead. No stop signs or speed limits. Really - the song had an AC/DC sample in it that said that. The car hit the fast lane of the motorway at 180. \"WIKKID!\" The song chimed in. Suki glanced at the radio. The visualiser was dancing like a car going over a suspension test. The song was apparently called \"Demerits\" by some DJ called \"The AA.\" Suki got a kick out of that. The song had an engine sample in the chorus - Suki couldn't tell if it was the car or the song. The DJ rapped about going 200 k's on the M4. Do you ever feel like the radio sometimes plays the perfect song? This was one of those times.\n\nSuki's driving resembled a mix of tafheet and no hesi as he broke 200 kp/h. The beautiful Mediterranean scenery blurred past. Suki downplayed how he drove around \"unpredictable\" opponents. He was carving up traffic... wait, this song has a piano solo? Wild. It sounded like it was lifted from some '70s prog rock song. Suki was locked in. Nothing but him, the car, the tarmac and the tunes. This was freedom. This is what he'd always been afraid to do back home. Well, he never had a fast enough car in Japan, and American highway patrol officers are insane. He'd been loving the music he'd heard on Ergon. This was the exact stuff he was producing in his bedroom, but this was the real deal. It got radio airplay and everything. Well, airplay outside of featuring on some speciality show at 11 PM on a college radio station. He wasn't even gawking at the weird Ergonian traffic anymore. They were just another obstacle to pass. Just another point added to the Outrun 2-style heads-up display that Suki was manifesting in the corner of his vision. This was a level of concentration Suki only ever attained when playing racing games at a competitive level. Haji was lucky Suki didn't try to fishtail boost.\n\nThe miles and music blended together. Suki was five songs deep into the trip when Haji's hand met his shoulder. \"Speed restriction on the turn onto the bridge. 120 k's.\" Suki blinked and let off the gas. He let the car coast, still cutting through traffic. He whoahed the car down to 120. He turned the music down a bit. If you went from the airport to this bridge at this speed, you'd get there in about 45 minutes. Suki had gotten in there in 25. His hands relaxed on the wheel. He let out a deep breath and held the tears back. Push the Feeling On by Nightcrawlers played on the radio. Okay, the bass could go back up. Only now did Suki notice the display also had the album art present. Sick. Suki shook his head after he realised what he'd just done. His friends back on Earth would have killed him for doing that.\n\nThe bridges were there to hop between an archipelago of smaller islands. The first bridge was a through truss with a lift section in the middle. They passed a sign saying the speed restriction was lifted. Suki let himself speed back up, about 150 klicks. \"Do me a favour,\" Suki asked. Haji sat at attention. \"Put some relaxing music on after this song.\" Suki said, which caused Haji to snicker. The Nightcrawlers track came to an end, and Haji normalised the volume and bass. He changed the radio's frequency. Some Brian Eno was playing. Suki melted into the car's plush leather seat. Everything is gonna be alright. The bridges along this stretch were all based on those around San Francisco, albeit stretched by 25% to fit the 50km gap between the island the airport was on and the mainland. The first one was a copy of the original Dumbarton Bridge, with each one separated by a small island. The designs followed the San Francisco Bay North and curved to the Antioch bridge, including the High Street, Leimert, Park Street, Bay Farm Island and Fruitvale bridges toward the end.\n\nOne of the islands looked like Yerba Buena Island. It must have been the Bay Bridge. The mainland came into view. Was... was it just San Francisco? It looked a lot like Russian Hill. They arrived in town after a few minutes. The last bridge, a 78m long replica of the Fruitvale Bridge, which was widened to four lanes, lowered them to street level. The Embarcadero lay out in front of them. The bridge spat them out where Broadway would be in San Fran. Suki came to a stop at the stoplight. The Bullitt theme song started playing over the radio. Suki looked at Haji. They smiled at each other. Suki hit the gas as the light turned green and raced to the top of Nob Hill. He had to get a good look at this place. They reached the top when the song finished. Suki parked up, and both got out to stretch their legs.\n\n\"Welcome to New Frisco.\" Haji said. \"The original city that resided here was lost in an earthquake in 1855, a magnitude 7.9. They decided to rebuild it after the newly incorporated city of San Heimos in Ameuia. They used the Earthling name.\" Yeah, Haji \"forgot\" to mention that Rayken was at the Western tip of a fault line. Suki wasn't afraid of earthquakes. He's Japanese. The only one he experienced was the 2009 Shizuoka quake, which was far enough for him to only experience it at magnitude 3 intensity, but he wasn't afraid of earthquakes.\n\n\"So... why are all the bridges so modern?\" Suki didn't really speak from experience, but he had a close friend who loved bridges. \"We had a big quake in 1945 that brought them all down. It actually destroyed a significant part of the city, too. New Frisco actually did an inverse of San Heimos' rebuild - they had a big quake in '16 - the buildings that were discarded in their rebuild were kept here, but everything else was based on post-1906 San Fran. We decided to make copies of all of San Fran's bridges.\" Haji calmly explained.\n\nThe fault line was different due to the existence of Rayken, which meant that it stretched from about 100 klicks northeast of the airport island and ended in the same place it did on Earth. That meant only the Northeast Peninsula was badly affected, though the Central Peninsula had gotten magnitude 6's before. Suki looked downtown and noticed a replica of the Transamerica Pyramid. \"Isn't that spire building from the 1970s?\" Suki asked. \"Started 1969, completed 1972 on Earth, yes.\" Haji affirmed. Suki did some math. \"Wait... how did you know a building was going to be built before it was built?\" Suki stated the obvious. Haji grinned. \"We've been keeping a close eye on your planet for a long time.\" Haji didn't elaborate.\n\n\"Do you have anything... with more trains? Or more...\" Suki asked Haji, vocalising the intro of Dueling Banjos after he said \"more.\" \"More conservative?\" Haji asked. Suki nodded. \"Well, even on Ergon, New Frisco is a pretty progressive place. I mean, it's just a copy of an Earthling city. Progressive politics on Ergon aren't the same as on Earth - the rights of all sentient beings are already held to an incredibly high standard. Instead, progressive politics are about interplanetary unity. Conservative politics lean more into the Preservation Act. Worl's a progressive politician. He was the one who sent an android to Earth, after all. You being here? That wouldn't happen under a conservative rule. Though the government pulls the strings, while the politicians lead the direction. Same as on Earth.\"\n\n\"Hmm. You guys really have been watching Earth.\" Suki said as he got into the car. Haji followed. Bodyrock by Moby came on the radio. Suki smiled at Haji. Haji knew. He had played Test Drive in the government's Earth media archives. Suki belted in and drove off when the song picked up. The bass vibrated the car again. They crested the other side of Nob Hill - apparently called Knott Hill - when the chorus played. Suki could see klicks and klicks of rolling hills beyond the city's sprawl. \"This 'video game vibe' thing? That's gonna be a daily occurrence when we get Delta 4 together. Remember, sports cars in Kindiak Park? All the NFS4 tracks will have a 1990s big beat station to listen to. We'll have government-controlled stations that match the vibes of every game.\" Haji bragged. Suki was taken aback by the scenery, but was listening. \"What about Stilwater and Steelport?\" Suki asked when he came back down to earth. \"Glad you asked. Both cities will combine the vibes from both games they're set in. K12 FM will feature a mix of DnB, house, and dance punk in Stilwater, but will be more house, glitch and dubstep in Steelport.\" Haji explained. The cities were from the Saints Row series. Suki wasn't a huge fan of the series - he didn't like the car handling - but he knew enough to know that radio station from the games.\n\nSuki pulled up at a stoplight. There were two men sitting on a nearby bench. Suki glanced over at them. They were wearing colourful arm warmers and stockings. The smaller one had high heels. Nothing else. Whoa, wait, what? Suki looked again. Yep. The smaller one, on the left, had pink hair and looked like a fox. His canine penis sat on his thigh. It looked flaccid and didn't have a knot. No way could he have had a baculum. The one on the right was a taller, muscular horse. His penis dangled over the edge of the bench. Haji wolf-whistled at the two. The car behind Suki honked. Suki drove off, and the two nude men laughed. Haji had told Suki about public nudity being legal on Ergon, but that was the first time he'd seen it in person. He looked around. There was a large rainbow painted on a building. Just as Suki had thought, they were in Haight-Ashbury.\n\n\"So, are you allowed to walk around with a hard dick?\" Suki asked. He was turned on, and his voice was a bit shaky from it. \"As long as you're not dripping pre, yeah. It's considered a natural bodily function. Those guys weren't hard, though.\" Suki did a double-take at Haji. \"The organics' penises work as feral horses do. They're sheathed if it's cold or are concentrating on something - your dick flopping out while riveting a building would be a bad time - they're flaccid when it's warm or when they're relaxed, and become hard when... well, you know how.\" Haji explained smugly. Lacking a penis himself, he didn't \"know how\" but correctly assumed that Suki did. \"So, why do canines not have baculums?\" Suki asked. The baculum is a bone inside the penises of some animals, such as canines. It prevents them from being \"floppy\" like a horse penis. \"I'm not sure. Some evolutionary thing? Biologists suspect evolution removed it when all organics were given the three-stage 'horse' behaviour.\" Haji explained. Evolution wasn't fully understood on Ergon - a lot of Earth's teachings on it fit - but the fact that evolution happened so quickly (within the first couple of hundred years) on Ergon threw a spanner in the works. And why did they stop evolving after the so-called \"Mass Evolution Event\" that saw the birth of the organics? \"Maybe you could start researching that stuff.\" Haji snickered. \"You already came up with the data warping idea.\"\n\nThe sun was starting to set when they left New Frisco. Haji opened the car's GPS. A small keyboard with a trackpad popped out. Suki did another double-take. \"Wow, that's cool.\" Suki said as Haji searched for a hotel. The GPS was a fully-featured version of ErgoMaps. \"How many stars do you want in the hotel?\" Haji asked. \"Doesn't matter to me as long as I don't have to splatter rats.\" Suki responded. His ears flicked when he said \"rats.\" He was thinking of Tixi.\n\nHaji found the two a decent hotel for a reasonable price. They checked in. Suki booted up his computer and started journaling. When he got his thoughts for the day written down, he opened ErgoChat. Before he could read the previous messages, everyone was greeting him. Oh well. \"ji\" is all he wrote. That's \"hi\" in Ergonese. The others were asking how he'd been, and what he'd been up to. \"just hanging around. decided to go to rayken\" He said as if going to another continent was something he did on the daily. \"oh? whatchya doin island hoppin\" Xeagan replied. \"never really seen this part of the world b4\" Suki responded. This was hell. He couldn't lie to his new friends, but he couldn't tell the truth either. Would they care? Suki thought they would. He was painted in a corner pretty well.\n\n\"always admire an explorer uwu\" Tixi typed. The others probably laughed, as there was a gap between messages. \"well om sure hes explored uranus already\", Drae chimed in. \"no but she did mine\", Suki typed without missing a beat. Another laughter pause. \"i like guys that are forward like that\" Xeagan said. \"dont think i didnt catch u looking this morning\", She continued. \"he looked like he was about to pass out\", Zest posted with a string of \"crying laughing\" emoticons. \"if it wasnt 4 the boobs id have started sucking\", Suki replied. The pretence was gone. \"haha fair, yeah tixi sed u were gay. kinda wild\" Xeagan responded. \"u can always just close ur eyes or i could wear a big hoodie\" Xeagan continued, followed with a flushed face emoticon. \"i luv cockworship anyway. i mean only zesty is big enuf for me 2 pen\" She was oversharing a bit now. Suki certainly didn't care. He was fantasising about being buried under that thing.\n\n\"Haji?\" Suki asked. \"Do you think... we can... sleep in the same bed tonight?\" Haji was surprised. \"Sure.\" He replied. \"Just... keep your pants on.\" Suki insisted. \"Dang. I knew I should have brought a strap-on with me.\" Haji snapped his fingers. Suki shuddered - in a good way. \"Do you need some privacy, Earthling? I'll go get us dinner.\" Haji left. Suki stripped down and started jerking off. \"r we still too much of strangers for sexting\" Suki said in the chat. Multiple people started typing, but were shut up when Xeagan sent a picture of herself masturbating. It was an older photo, but she remembered to pick one where her boobs didn't show in it. The attached message read, \"idgaf if deerfag posts it. its already public.\" Suki came on his own torso. \"thx\", Suki typed, forgetting to use Ergonese.\n\n\"whered u learn english anyway deerfag\" Xeagan responded. She wasn't trying to make Suki feel bad with the language she used, instead using it as a somewhat self-deprecating term of endearment. Endeerment? \"uni\" Suki typed quickly as he cleaned himself up with some tissues. \"oh? college is gay af. whered u go 2?\" Xeagan interrogated. Uh oh. Suki quickly opened ErgoMaps and tried to find his own hometown. \"didn't you go to college?\" Zest turned the screws. \"yea i did, for 7 months. y u think i like dick??\" was Xeagan's response. \"even little dick?\" Suki and Tixi replied at the same time. \"yes.\" Xeagan didn't elaborate.\n\n-- Chapter 5: Eyes on the City --\n\nSuki woke up the next morning while snuggling Haji. They hadn't had sex, but did sleep together. Suki was in a t-shirt and undies, and Haji was in a pair of jeans. Suki was really getting a hang of this Ergon thing. He got out of bed and put his pants on. He opened the blinds. A train station was outside. The vibe of the area was similar to that of the film Duel, albeit a bit more lush. The train station looked like it wouldn't be out of place in an old Western. Suki heard a distant whistle. He rushed to put his socks and shoes on and ran outside. There it was. A 4-8-4 \"Northern\" steam locomotive heading a ten-car passenger train. It was still in the distance and slowing down for the station. Suki quickly looked both ways and ran across the highway to meet it on the platform.\n\nHaji put his hand on Suki's shoulder when it arrived at the station. Suki wasn't big into trains, but he was mesmerised by the way the locomotive so effortlessly moved. Suki's mentioning of wanting to find a place with trains was an altruistic motive, as he was sure there would be some train nerds in the Ergon branch of the club. But he'd be damned if he didn't find this really cool. Was he crying? No, that was condensation from the locomotive's steam.\n\nThe duo packed and got back into the car. They hit the road and continued on. Haji rejiggered the GPS. The car's heads up display now showed turn-by-turn directions. \"Whoa. That's cool.\" Suki said. \"I remembered that these super-luxury GPS's are supposed to have a way to activate a readout on the HUD. I found it.\" Haji explained. Suki turned the music back up. Now he could see where he was going and still have his banging tunes.\n\nThey kept going. There was a big hill ahead. Ever since they left New Frisco, the environment had become gradually more culturally diverse. The roads and signs were European, and the buildings were the same, but also American frontier-style, and some Asian-style buildings. Suki had only begun to notice them - they were hidden by the dark last night. Leave You Far Behind by Lunatic Calm played on the radio as Suki crested the hill. There it was. The city of Dukungo. The city's population was about 45,000 in an area of about 80 km2. The train line ran right through the heart of the city and branched off in every cardinal direction from the railyard in the centre of town. It was clear that Dukungo was a very important place in Rayken's railroad history. The sign even said so.\n\nThey entered the town in its commercial district. A lot of the buildings were either Googie or mid-century modern. Diners with roller girls, grocery stores with chrome trolleys, gas stations with tons of incandescent bulbs. It felt like driving through the pages of a 1950s issue of Popular Science. The commercial district gave way to suburbs. It started with ranch houses, but the buildings got older as they got toward the city centre, which they eventually reached. Suki parked in a parking lot downtown. It was lined with small but hearty trees, proving a nice shaded lot. No need for a dashboard cover here. The lot and streets were brick. The two walked to Main Street. If it weren't for the newer cars driving around, it would have looked like it was the 1800s.\n\nMain Street was interesting. It and Broadway Avenue were the two main North/South roads in the city, and both followed the train line, with a bridge over the rail yard diamond. Dukungo has one of the highest numbers of road-rail accidents on the planet. The city had 217 grade crossings. The duo were pretty close to the railyard - the \"Quad Bridges\" could be seen, where the major East/West roads met the North/South ones over the diamond. Some streets ran under the bridges, and that's where Haji was leading Suki to. It was a teppanyaki joint right across from the yard, where a Fairbanks-Morse H-20-44 was building a train. The neon sign on the outside of the building read \"Shinkansen Skewers.\" Fitting.\n\nSuki and Haji went inside. Suki watched the shunter build the train. The railyard didn't have any big fences. Instead, it had a waist-high barbed wire fence, with the occasional sign telling people that it was railroad property and that people had better not try to hop that fence. Either people were smart enough to respect property lines on this planet, or the railroad had some intense and precise security. Suki was going to ask about it, but the chef started flinging food around.\n\nA good time was had by all, and the train had been completed. Suki and Haji walked back to the car. \"I think Dukungo is a good contender.\" Suki said. Haji shrugged. \"It's the biggest 'rail' town in the country, it has a race track, a vehicle museum, a heritage railway, and even a locomotive workshop.\" \"Does it have an arcade?\" Suki asked smugly. \"No, actually. If that's a deal--\" Haji was interrupted by Suki. \"No, that's fine. It's not a dealbreaker. It sweetens the deal, actually. Every chapter of the club has their own arcade hangout.\" He said. \"Still... I feel that it's almost too industrial. I'm sure some people would like it, but I'm not sure how many train autists we're gonna have.\" Maybe he was afraid of earthquakes.\n\nThe two got in the car. \"I getcha. It's hard to plan for what you simply don't know.\" Haji said. Suki looked at the clock. \"Is there a rental agency we can return this thing to in town?\" Suki asked. Haji pointed to the infotainment screen. \"Use the map. It's got voice command.\" Suki looked at Haji suspiciously. Suki navigated to the car's GPS. He touched the microphone icon. There was a \"beep-beep\" sound. \"Take me to the nearest Swift Rental Car agency.\" Suki said. Beep-beep. \"The nearest Swift Rental Car agency is located on Lonagondan Avenue. It is 2.12km away. Turn right out of the parking lot and continue on Main Street for 1.27km.\" The GPS said. It sounded like a Japanese salaryman.\n\n\"How did it know we were in a parking lot?\" Suki asked. It was the first time he actually heard it \"speak.\" \"The GPS gives the co-ords, and AI pulls satellite imagery and analyses the image.\" Haji explained. On Earth, artificial intelligence was very artificial and not very intelligent. \"I can see it in your eyes - when you hear 'AI' you think of that braindead stuff from Earth. Well, that was true for us at first, but after 200 years of androids, it was pretty much perfect. No hallucinations. Self-sufficient. The AI used in GPS is a lot simpler than that of androids. But android AI can evolve its own personality, its interests, fears, you name it.\" Suki had never stopped to think about how the androids' brains worked. Wow. He started driving.\n\n\"That's why the Free Android Act was signed into law. Androids were programmed to be autonomous, to be independent, to be real. Meanwhile, the drones rely more on programming than on AI.\" Haji explained. \"That's why we use the legal term 'sentient' for organics and androids. They truly are sentient. Drones, however, aren't. The AI is used for logic and adaptability, not for sentience like it is in androids.\" \"So you're saying there's a sort of... AI IQ?\" Suki asked. \"Yes - the GPS has a low-IQ AI. It only uses it to read real-time traffic data, calculate the best routes, and read the terrain. But androids would wind up using organic IQ. That's their level of sentience.\" Haji explained. \"Sick.\"\n\nSuki pulled into the car rental place and turned the car in. He patted the car's fender. The two walked to the nearest train station - it was only two blocks away. Cities on Ergon were usually pretty walkable, not by using pedestrianised design, but because of a focus on robust public transport systems. There was an entire state in Ukeiut Ameuia named after \"commuting.\" The train pulled up. It was a British Rail Class 101 diesel multiple unit with four carriages. \"Daisy.\" Suki said aloud, subconsciously. He learned to stop questioning Ergon's globalised mishmash of vehicles, culture, and architecture.\n\nThe train took them to a train station out of town. They were going to transfer to high-speed rail. Haji went to a terminal and bought both tickets using cash. The DMU pulled off as the two crossed the pedestrian bridge. It felt like a very British train station. Soon, a high-speed train pulled into the station. It looked like a mix between an ICE 1 and a TGV Sud-Est. The duo got on, and Suki grabbed a map from the holder marked \"Free maps - limit 1 per group\" in Ergonese. They sat down. Suki studied the map.\n\n\"What are the second-level administrative divisions called in Rayken?\" Suki asked. \"States,\" Haji said as he took the map from Suki, sitting across from him. \"You need to relax and enjoy the scenery, Fawnie. If you really wanna know, I'll tell you when we cross borders. The state that Dukungo and New Frisco are in is called Noreapun. The island we started on is a part of the state and is called Genesis Island, named as such because that's the first piece of land the organics reached on Rayken. You got Norpen to the North, Triclimea in between, South of that is the uncreatively-named Long State, the central peninsula is Weasauppen, South of Long State is Archilegeon, and the Southern peninsula is named Soppen.\" The train soon took off.\n\nSuki very suddenly got an eyeful of \"scenery.\" He was 172cm tall and had long, straight, dark red, middle-parted hair. His measurements were separated by quarter-metres - 75, 50, 100. His hips were a full metre around. He wore only a backpack and was unshaven and sweaty, but still smelled faintly of pomegranates and the rosewater he was drinking. His penis poked out of his fat sheath. The attraction in both was instant. Suki's penis was coming out of its sheath, too. The young man sat down next to Suki, despite 70% of the seating being available.\n\nSuki offered a handshake. \"Suki.\" The man kissed him instead. \"Gristi.\" Suki made out with him. The pomegranate smell was stronger now, but so was the sweat. \"See, Suki? Now you're grasping Ergon's sex culture.\" Gristi broke the kiss. \"Oh, no way, another English speaker?\" He asked. His voice was light, and his accent sounded like a mix of American Southern and... Frisian? \"We both are.\" Suki said. \"Y'all Jaekipians are always so smart.\" Gristi said. Finally, some discrimination Suki was comfortable with. That was a stereotype that Suki really liked - probably because he resembled it and enjoyed the praise - and he was glad to see it existed on Ergon, too. His tail wagged, and he looked at Gristi with his big, blue eyes. Gristi noticed just how excited Suki was. He played it cool. He layed back with legs spread, big balls hanging off the edge of the seat.\n\nSuki drank the rest of his water bottle. He pulled his pants down around his thighs. Gristi sized him up. He wasn't impressed, but he knew Suki would make a good fucktoy. Suki put the bottle to his cockhead and started stroking. Though public masturbation was illegal on Ergon, there was a clause: if you don't \"dirty\" up any public or private property (unless it is your own, such as this water bottle), and as long as no children were present, then it was fine. Suki was in the clear.\n\nGristi leaned in. He put his hand on Suki's chest, rubbing his hand over his nipple. \"What do you do for fun, deery? Do you go around... jacking off to cute boys?\" Gristi turned the screws. Suki's breath hitched. \"I... do computer repair. This is my vacation.\" Suki said in a whisper. \"You really are smart, huh?\" Gristi asked. His left hand met Suki's cock. His own length rested erect on Suki's thigh. His hairy chest rubbed against Suki's arm. His smell changed to something predatory.\n\nGristi's muzzle followed Suki's neck down. Then, he opened his mouth. Suki came into the bottle as soon as he felt Gristi's teeth strake his neck. Gristi chuckled lowly. \"You like being a prey animal, huh? At the mercy of any predator looking for a meal?\" Gristi bit Suki's ear. Not enough to puncture, but enough to pain. That made Suki cum again. He melted into Gristi's embrace. Gristi cleaned him up with a napkin and put the bottle in a paper bag to throw out later. His kindness earned him respect from Suki and Haji. Even if Suki... yep, he's asleep.\n\nGristi carefully pulled Suki's pants up, trying not to wake him. He took his glasses off and set them on the table. Suki stirred. Okay, maybe he wasn't asleep. But he was either close or faking it. \"So... what's your story? You normally go about biting femboys?\" Haji asked sarcastically. \"I'm Haji, by the way.\" Gristi nodded. \"Call it... me being opportunistic.\" Suki groaned softly. \"You know, I'm a boy toy. No sense in denying my destiny.\" Gristi replied. \"Let me guess, you're a Deithositist?\" Haji quipped, referring to Ergon's secondary religion: Deithosity. It's a naturist religion, believing that Ergon is literally held together with a sentient life force. \"Either I'm that obvious, or you just have good powers of deduction.\" Gristi quipped back. \"Let's see. You walk around nude, you don't shave, you use natural scents, you're drinking rosewater, and you're sweaty from hiking or running.\" Haji listed. Silence.\n\n\"Now, let me guess. You're the son of a salaryman. He either pressured you into working a white-collar job despite your desire to have a traditionally Ergonian blue-collar job, probably working on cars or electronics. You probably have a government job now, and go around touring blue-collar places on vacation as a 'I could have had this' sort of thing.\" Gristi clapped back. How did Suki keep finding people who were so good at reading others? \"For your information, I'm here on work.\" Haji slipped. \"So this man you're travelling with is 'on vacation', but you're here on business?\" Gristi looked at him sternly. Suki whispered into Gristi's ear. Gristi's eyes widened, and he looked back and forth between the two. \"Don't tell anyone.\" Suki chuckled and nuzzled Gristi's chest.\n\n\"So, where are you from?\" Haji asked. \"Weasauppen. Preztiag.\" Gristi replied. \"Mind if we tag along? That might be a good place to show Suki.\" Haji asked again. \"Fine.\" Gristi replied with a smile. \"Do you always take the train?\" Suki asked. \"If I leave the state, yes, I'll usually take the train. The HSR line branches off and forks to the north and south of Weasauppen, so if I'm going out of state, I'll drive out to the HSR line and travel out from there.\" Gristi explained. Suki really was getting the full experience of Ergon's public transport systems.\n\nSuki fell asleep in Gristi's arms. When he woke up, it was dusk. Gristi jostled him awake. \"Wake up, Earthling. We're in Weasauppen.\" Suki sat up and put his glasses back on. Haji and Suki took their bags. Haji gave Suki his map back. There was no way he was gonna read it when in the presence of Gristi. \"You guys need a place to stay? I live on the outskirts of town. I got an extra bedroom.\" \"That would be wonderful, thanks.\" Haji replied with no hesitation. On Earth, that's asking for a bad time. But Ergon was old-school. You could trust 90% of the people you meet. They got off the train. \"Here, let me take your bags, Deery.\" Gristi took Suki's luggage. They walked to the parking lot.\n\nGristi opened the trunk of his car and put the luggage in. It was a custom job - a mocha tan paint job with black flames with white ghost flame accents. There was a badge that read HX8 on the front fender. Suki got in the front seat, and Haji got in the back. There was a script on the dashboard that read \"Calica.\" Suki and Haji belted in, but Gristi did not. The car didn't have a seatbelt chime or indicator. He turned on the radio, which was tuned to an alternative station, and drove out of the railway station parking lot and headed home.\n\nThe sun set as they drove out into the countryside. It was a short drive, well, shorter than Suki and Haji had travelled in the last two days - about 50km. Gristi pulled into a long driveway which led up to a ranch house. He parked the car in the carport, and everyone got out. Gristi took the luggage out of his car - both Haji and Suki's. He unlocked the front door of the house. The decor was very rustic - oh. Gristi had a twelve-point buck mounted above the fireplace. Suki's breath hitched - he wasn't sure if it was in a good or a bad way yet.\n\nGristi put the luggage into the guest room. He slid his backpack off and sat on the couch. Suki sat next to him. Haji went into the guest room. Gristi put the TV on. It was a sports recap show. \"Hope you... uhh... don't mind the decor.\" Gristi said awkwardly. Suki was breathing heavily. He sighed and stood up. He took his clothes off. Gristi traced Suki's hips and sat him down in his lap. Suki could feel Gristi's hair down his back. Both became hard. \"I'm down for sex, or just to cuddle. Up to you.\" Suki said. Gristi layed down, rolling Suki to face him. He kissed him. Suki put his glasses on a nearby table. He took in Gristi's musk and nuzzled his surprisingly soft chest hair.\n\n\"How'd you get here, kiddo?\" Gristi asked. \"Spaceship.\" Suki snickered. \"Some of my friends had first contact with an Ergonian government android. They've been planning to reach out for... how old are you?\" Suki asked. \"25.\" Gristi replied. Suki sat up and looked him over. \"No way are you 25. I'm 25.\" Suki laughed, and so did Gristi. \"I wouldn't have thought you were over 17.\" Gristi told Suki. \"Yeah, I swear, I haven't aged a bit in the last decade.\" Suki lowered himself back down, now sidesaddle with Gristi.\n\n\"They wanted one of us to go up here to test the waters. I miss my friends on Earth, but I've met some good people here. I haven't had a single negative encounter the whole time I've been here. That's a record for me.\" Suki spoke as if it were a confession. \"People here are good. I mean, if Earth is as ornery as they say, I'd never sleep at a stranger's house.\" Gristi reiterated what I said earlier. \"I just feel guilty about sleeping around.\" Suki admitted. \"Don't. That's just how we are here.\" Gristi soothed Suki. \"I mean, my body count has almost doubled in the past two days.\" Suki said. \"So? Who cares as long as you feel good?\" Gristi stroked Suki's hair. He was right - you can't get pregnant being gay (unless you really try), and Ergon's lack of venereal diseases made hedonism safe.\n\n-- Chapter 6: Saints and Scrappers --\n\nThe two woke up on the couch together the next morning. Suki was awoken by a big squeeze from Gristi. They took a shower together. When they dried off, there was a knock at the door. \"Come in.\" Gristi said as if he was expecting them. \"Uncle Gristi!!\" Two children, one about 8 years old and the other about 6, shouted in Ergonese and ran to hug Gristi. They were offset from center for obvious reasons. Suki had gotten dressed. \"Hey, sis.\" Gristi said and kissed the woman that was with them on the cheek. She looked the same age as Gristi.\n\n\"Don't tell me you took in another foster kid, Gris.\" She said, looking at Suki. \"Hey! I'm not that short!\" Suki retorted. \"This is Suki. He and his friend are out touring Rayken, so I thought I'd show them around.\" Gristi said to his sister. \"Oh, that's wonderful. Well, we're taking The Horseshoe to see Grandma. We just wanted to stop by.\" \"No problem. Great seeing ya.\" Gristi hugged his family. They left. \"Explains how you're so gentle.\" Suki muttered to Gristi in English. \"Eh, their dad is kinda in and out of their lives, so I've been like a second father to them.\" He replied, but didn't elaborate. \"I'm gonna get dressed, just so you're not thirsting all the time.\" Gristi nudged Suki and went to his bedroom.\n\nThe trio filed into Gristi's car. He took off toward the city. The drive over was short, about 10 minutes, but the scenery was great, and the rolling hills meant you kept focused while driving. The \"Welcome to Preztiag\" sign went past. Then a gentleman's club. Suki's gaze locked onto it. The sign indicated that it was for sale. \"Never seen a gay man look so intently at a titty bar.\" Haji quipped. \"One man's trash is another man's treasure. Say, Gris, is there an arcade in town?\" Suki asked. \"Nope. Only county in the state to not have one.\" Suki looked back at Haji and smiled. That was his \"devious plan\" smile. If there wasn't anywhere else, Preztiag was the place they would build. Gristi put the indicator on. To the right was a brutalist brick garage with a flag-lined lot of used cars out front and a scrapyard out back. To the left was a mid-century modern car museum. Ironic.\n\nGristi pulled up to the gate and honked twice. A muscular woman with long hair walked out. She was only wearing baggy cargo pants and boots and had grease stains all over. Her breasts were small, but still big enough to sway. \"Hey, bud!\" She said in Ergonese as she leaned in the car's window. \"Here for another inventory check?!\" She said excitedly. Her accent was hard to pin down. Maybe Canadian plains meets Appalachia? \"Who're your friends?\" She asked. \"Suki and Haji.\" Grist introduced the two. \"Couple of Jaekipian tourists I met on the train. Thought I'd show 'em around town. This one's gay.\" Grist whispered. \"Oh! Shit. Sorry.\" The woman stood up straight. \"Well, I guess I got somethin' for ya, then.\" She unzipped her pants and pulled her underwear down. Her penis was about 16cm and had a long, thick foreskin. \"Not bad.\" Suki said.\n\nShe walked out of her pants and opened the gate for Gristi. \"Well... that's gonna be another definition of an alien 'third encounter.\" Suki said in English. The whole car laughed. The woman put her pants back on and got into the car. Gristi drove into the scrapyard. It looked much like an Earthly one, but the cars were twisted and torn. \"What's your name?\" Haji asked. \"Javalynn.\" \"Are some of you guys just named for things in English?\" Suki commented to no one.\n\n\"So, uh, how do Ergonian scrapyards work?\" Suki asked. \"Most cars on Ergon are considered repairable. Flood damage? Repairable. Front end smashed in? Repairable. Rollover damage? Probably repairable. There's a high requirement for how damaged a car needs to be to be scrapped, especially considering that you can scrap a car on Earth if you feel like it. Basically, you take a car to its dealership or a government-approved garage - like Jav's - if you think it should be scrapped. It then undergoes a 17-step inspection, usually overseen by a government-employed scrutineer. If approved for destruction, it'll be sent to the nearest scrapyard. Then, people have one month to come here and scavenge parts. After that period, a certified technician from the vehicle's manufacturer will come out and retrieve any remaining good parts. Then, pssh, it gets recycled.\" Haji explained with a crushing gesture.\n\n\"Crushin' 'em is fun,\" Jav said in English. \"Wanna try?\" \"Since when did you speak English?\" Gristi asked Jav. \"I'm not even sure if I said the right thing.\" Jav laughed. \"You said you want me to crush a car.\" Suki said. \"Okay, good, still got it.\" Gristi parked. Suki and Jav got out of the car and into a crane. It was a diesel-powered unit, probably from the 1930s. \"You don't have any magnetic storage devices on your person, right?\" Jav asked. \"Nope.\" Suki replied. \"Alright. This is your left track and this is your right. Push both forward to go forward, and one forward and one back to turn. You rotate the cab with this, and this puts the arm up and down. This big red button turns the magnet on and off.\" Jav explained the controls. \"Got it.\" Suki replied. Jav gave him the keys. He turned the crane's engine on. It rumbled to life and belched black smoke. It vibrated the whole machine.\n\n\"Shoot the gap between those cars. Look for ones with orange X's on them. Those are ready for the crusher.\" Jav instructed as Suki drove the crane down an aisle. He spotted one ahead. He stopped the crane and lowered the magnet onto some generic 1970s gold-coloured four-door before activating it. The magnet whirred to life, and the car jolted. He lifted the crane's arm up, carrying the car with it. The car's body and frame were twisted, and only the body panels remained. Suki carefully placed the bent car on a conveyor belt. The conveyor took the car into a metal tunnel where it stopped. A large hydraulic press flattened the car. The conveyor belt turned back on automatically and spat the car out onto the ground behind the crusher. \"Wow, you're pretty good at this!\" Jav remarked. \"Many hours spent in sim games. Nobody tell Keith I'm doing this.\" She didn't know who Keith was, but his secret was safe with her.\n\nSuki drove the crane back to the row of cars. \"Hang on!\" Jav said. Suki stopped the crane. She hopped out and pulled orange spray paint from her pocket. She marked a white four-door with an X. Despite X not existing in the Ergonese alphabet, it was still used for multiplication and as a marking. The car she marked was in remarkably good shape. Perfect, except for a smashed-in front end. It looked like a late-model Ford Falcon. \"You sure that one goes?\" Suki shouted from the crane. \"Yeah. It's got a D-Licence.\" A destruction licence! Now it makes sense. Destruction licences can be issued to any new vehicle that is purchased outright or traded for at a dealership. It ensures more violent motorsports can be held while not destroying potentially historic vehicles. One of the 17 steps during scrapping is checking if a vehicle is historic - you don't want to scrap the first car a famous rockstar owned, even if he wrapped it around a telephone pole in 1986.\n\nJav hopped in the crane as Suki picked the car up and crushed it. The next car made Suki literally stop dead in his tracks. It was a cherry red 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air. It had a poorly done flame job and had a bent frame and body. Jav could tell Suki was hesitating. \"It's a '94 build. Some idiot rich kid had it as his third car and tried to re-create that scene from The Blues Brothers.\" Well, that lessened the blow. Suki picked it up and put it in the crusher, but both looked away when it got crushed. Some people shouldn't have nice things. \"You wouldn't lie to me, right?\" Suki asked Jav quietly, barely audible over the machines. \"No. I make a living off of being honest. I don't lie to people. Plus. The government wouldn't have ever let an actual '50s car be scrapped unless... well, unless it looked like that one.\" Jav said, pointing to another white car marked with an X. It looked like a roadster that had been bent into a triangle shape.\n\n\"Fatal.\" Jav commented. It should have given Suki chills, but it didn't. He was too disconnected from people for it to register. He put it in the crusher. Next was a strange one - only a bent frame, covered in dozens of small orange X's. \"That was a fun one. That truck came from one of the coastal towns in the state. Guy lived right on the waterfront.\" Suki picked the frame up - it audibly snapped. \"We got a snapper!\" Jav cheered out of the cab at Gristi and Haji. \"Anyways, guy had already took every other part off the thang and left only the frame and about 100 kilos of odds 'n' ends - which was picked over by the vultures within a week. You can skip the crusher and put it right on the pile.\" Suki did as instructed.\n\nThere was only one marked car left. It looked like some 1980s fastback that had been in a demo derby. It was rattlecanned black with neon green racing stripes and wheels. It was so beat up that the vultures left the wheels on it, and not even the manufacturer wanted them back. Whirrr... CLINK. Suki took it to the crusher. \"Alright. You be a 'deer' and wait here. I'm gonna bring the flatbed around.\" Jav hopped off the crane and ran to a truck parked nearby. Suki wasn't good with trucks, but it had to have been from the 1970s. Suki manoeuvered the crane next to the crusher. The crusher had shut down - it was equipped with a pressure sensor to save on fuel. Suki helped Jav back the semi up and then loaded it up with the crushed cars. \"I'll strap 'em down later. We can go back to the entrance now.\" Suki got into the big rig, and Jav drove to the entrance. They disembarked. Gristi was chatting with Haji, before he turned to Jav.\n\n\"That's a good pick right there, Gris!\" Jav said, pointing to the car he was standing next to. \"Thing got a DL in '87 but was never used. It just rotted in a field. If you can get the rust off the thang and re-do the wirin', she'll be a brand-new car. It's yours for... hmm... seven and a half.\" The car was a sporty-looking 5-door fastback, somewhere between an Audi quattro and a Honda Accord. It was only missing a headlight and side mirror - vulture pickings. Gristi produced a 5,000-credit bill, two 1,000-credit bills and a 500-credit bill. \"I'll get you wrote up and get you a title. Want me to throw out the DL?\" Jav said to Gristi. Gristi said yes. Suki's mind was blown. You could buy cars that had D-Licences? Not only that - you could buy cars from scrapyards?! In current year?! And swap frames like it was nothing?? Stop selling. Suki was already in love with this planet.\n\n\"Y'all two head next door. I got paperwork to do.\" Jav told Suki and Haji. They bowed and said thank you. They walked across the two-lane highway to the museum next door. \"I think I'll have my drone order in by tonight, barring any unforeseen consequences.\" Suki told Haji in English. \"Well, we don't have any government research facilities trying to open portals to other worlds, so we should be okay.\" Haji got the door for Suki. Suki thanked him, and both went inside. The entrance was flanked by checkerboard floors and a variety of cars. Ten on the right, ten on the left, separated by a 5 metre space down the middle. They even had a small aeroplane hanging from the ceiling. \"Would you gentlemen like a tour?\" The receptionist asked. The duo said yes at the same time. She spoke into the intercom. Soon, a man who looked a lot like Javalynn walked out.\n\n\"Welcome, gentlemen, to the Korone Automotive Museum.\" The man said. His name tag read Woxres. He saw the grease on Suki's hands. \"I'm guessing you two met my sister across the highway.\" The duo nodded and smiled. \"Well, whereas cars go to die there, cars go to thrive here.\" His voice was smooth and a little light. He had a very slight southern twang. \"That's alright, we don't need the...\" Haji said while making a strange gesture with his hands. Woxres sighed as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. \"A lot of my friends are rednecks. You don't have to pretend for us.\" Suki said with a smile.\n\n\"Thank god!\" Woxres said, clapping his hands together once. \"Call me Woxxie.\" He offered a handshake. The two introduced themselves as they shook hands. \"Right, so, this museum is something my sister started in 1997. It started with one car - this one right here.\" He motioned to a 1949 Buick four-door. It was surprisingly rusty, had only three hubcaps, and looked as if it still got driven regularly. \"This was my first car. I was 14, Javvie was 20. When we were driving home from buying it back in 1990, she told me, 'Woxxie, one day, we're gonna have a big building full of old cars.\" As Woxxie continued the backstory, Suki spoke to Haji in English. \"So... with the Preservation Act being a thing... what are even in museums?\" \"Vintage builds, 'famous' builds, race cars, low-production cars.\" Haji explained.\n\n\"...And every room is themed. This room houses the first 10 cars we acquired for the museum - and the only aircraft. I'll show you around - feel free to ask questions.\" Wox said smugly. \"Why don't you start with the plane?\" Suki asked. \"Absolutely. This is a 1959 Cessna 172. It was the first single-engine aircraft to fly a lap around Rayken. The feat was accomplished in 42 hours back in 1964. The craft then remained in private hands. We acquired it recently when it came up for auction.\" The craft was in pretty nice shape - it had probably gotten a paint job within the last 5-10 years.\n\n\"This is the second vehicle we acquired for the museum. 1928 Denton Sedan. Purchased new by a town doctor; those who knew him said that he 'could outdrag the moonrunners' when out on a call. We found it in a barn for 4,500 credits.\" The car's paint was matted black, but it was in pretty good condition. The more Suki looked around, the more he realised that not one of these cars was showroom new. This wasn't like any Earth museum. This is patina preservation at its finest. The museum tour lasted four hours. Haji got a little bored, but Suki had a twinkle in his eyes the whole time.\n\nBy the time they left, Gristi had pulled his car up. \"Well, y'all saved yourself from being dragged around in a grocery store. Got my shopping done when you was in there. Still wanna hit the town?\" He asked in English. Suki nodded. Haji rolled his eyes, but he had to stick with Suki. It's what he got paid to do. The three got into the car, and Gristi headed into town. This side of town was mostly suburban, dotted with a couple of parks. The very brutalist brick high school was located on this side of town, built in 1930, according to the plaque on the front. The city followed the same new-old-oldest format as many others on Ergon - 1950s outskirts, with a colonial interior sandwiching Victorian buildings.\n\nDowntown had a large park in a square in front of the courthouse - similar to many towns in the American Southeast. The commercial buildings downtown were smaller and simpler than in Dukungo. Mostly boxy one- or two-storey buildings with some hitting three. They were all mom-and-pop shops. City Hall was a Spanish colonial-style building with a single towering spire in the middle and a notable lack of a rotunda.\n\nAbout a kilometre north of downtown was the rail line. It was three tracks wide and was flanked by about 10 metres of grass on either side, with a road running alongside the tracks on the other side of the green. It was a railfan's dream - there were no stop signs on the road, and only the north/south roads had stop signs. Gristi pulled up on the road - only the south side allowed parking, the north side was lined with no parking signs. The three got out of the car. \"You mentioned you wanted to find a place for railfans - this is one of the best places in the country for that. This is a main line. About... 100 klicks that way is where this line meets the HSR line.\" Gristi said, pointing to the West. \"There's a huge railyard in the next town over, about 20 klicks that way.\" He pointed East.\n\nThe crossing barriers looked old - like the ones you might find on a vintage Lionel model train layout. \"There's a train station on the East and West ends of town. That's where the town's commercial districts are.\" Gristi said before motioning to the North. \"There's more suburbs out this way. The city's original Victorian-style middle school is also on this side of town. Beyond that, it turns into farm land.\" Suki looked to Haji and nodded. \"We already know a mechanic in town, and if we can buy that happening bar and renovate it? Whoa. Two out of three right there.\"\n\n\"Say, are there any sporting goods stores in town?\" Haji asked Gristi. Gristi clapped his hands and was about to get into his car when a train sounded its horn. It sounded distinct and very old. Gristi turned around and walked to the sidewalk on the North side of the road. The duo followed him. Gristi pulled a DSLR camera from his backpack. It was some Ergonian brand that was equipped with a 15-400mm lens. There were quiet zones, which were employed in Preztiag and Dukungo, but the Ergonian government requires a train horn to be sounded every kilometre in a quiet zone, which was denoted by a crossing without barriers. There was one about 4 blocks east of the group - it had Griswold-style signs guarding the crossing.\n\n\"It's a GG1.\" Gristi didn't need to check a timetable or even his watch. The locomotive's distinct horn was enough for him to tell. \"This thing's gonna blow our doors off. It should be going full tilt by the time it reaches us, unless someone has a flag stop at the other station. It'll be on the Northernmost track, that's the only electrified track.\" The train came into view as a singular headlight in the distance. It accelerated pretty fast for something so large and heavy. The horn cadences - the same pattern used in the USA - got closer. The train was upon them in about three minutes. Gristi took lots of photos as it passed. It rocketed by - it was going 160 kp/h, and all you could hear were the wheels whirring by and the clickety-clack of the track. Dust trailed the streamlined locomotive and its 10 passenger cars. \"We good?\" Suki asked as the train became distant again. \"There should be a grain manifest on track 2 in twelve minutes...\" Gristi said. Haji took him by the collar back to the car.\n\nGristi begrudgingly took them to the town's sporting goods store, which was on the Northwest side of town. It was located on a river. The sign read, \"KAMIKAZE BIKE SHOP (and other sporting goods).\" The trio got out of the car. \"Ken is kind of... out there. But she's a good soul.\" They walked inside. I Wish You Were a Beer by Cycle Sluts from Hell played over the shop's muzak. Then they saw her.\n\nThe shop's purveyor was a broxce (an Ergonian anthro rodent) with long, messy black hair and dark brown eyes that you could only see the colour of when the light shone in them. Her fur was olive green and white with a patch of freckles on her face. Her patterns resembled a striped skunk and had a spiral swirl tail. Her skin was pale tan. She had a very masculine body and could easily be mistaken for a man (or a seeba), given how her jacket - a surplus 1940s Jaekipian Imperial Army infantryman one - added even more bulk. The flag on her shirt also helped obscure the curvature of her chest. The flag was a saltire with a large dot in the middle. The background was white, the stripes and dots were red with a blue pinstripe. There were six stars on each stripe and three in the dot - one prominently in the centre with two smaller stars flanking it. It was the flag of Weasauppen - Suki had recognised it from being flown all over town. The rest of her outfit consisted of khaki cargo pants and black combat boots. A patch on her jacket read KAMIKAZE, though she would normally just go by the Earthling \"Ken\" as that was an abbreviation of her surname. Her government name was Qamakosei Tanaken. The Weasauppens were a proud bunch. They led an insurrection when the government wanted to have them connected to the more touristy West Coast of Rayken, which led to a short conflict that resulted in Weasauppen and what would now be called Long State separating.\n\nKen looked up from the extreme sports magazine she was reading in a lounged position behind the front desk. \"Who're the fags?\" Ken asked. Suki had to imagine a keyboard in front of him to make sure she really just said that. \"Gahd\" - yep, that's right. The slur has different origins on Ergon, however. Being a language based on English (albeit not knowingly), Ergonese onomatopoeia are usually the same as in English. \"Gahhoy\" - Ergonese for \"faggot\" - was first published in an 1886 gay adult zine. The comic which the slur originates from a pirate parody called Arse Pirates. It was created by a gay man who was a real seafarer as well as a man with a scholarly interest of Earth. The comic, where a character is about to say \"got it\" before being sodomised, leaked out into the mainstream for being unintentionally hilarious, and the phrase \"gahhoy\" became weaponised by the planet's mostly-quadsexual population. Despite straight and gay sex being legal on Ergon from the beginning, quads still discriminate against the straights and gays.\n\n\"I mean you. Four eyes that's too lazy to dress himself properly but self-conscious enough to make sure his hair is straight... and spreadsheet over here.\" She had to reach for an insult for Haji as he was so... blank. She then popped open a can of... salmiak soda? Good lord, not even Lena would go that far. The brand was literally \"MASOCHISM\" - apparently, they sold a wide range of unpopular, acquired taste delicacy flavours. The music changed drastically when the Cycle Sluts song ended. Suki recognised it instantly - it was an early Shrapnelsound release. If this were a dude - which Suki falsely assumed Ken was - he would be sucking and fucking in less than five minutes from now. Ken's voice was deep and gruff, perhaps what one would think a stereotypical biker chick would sound like. There was a bit of goth chick rasp to it, and her accent was American with a slight southern twang, but also a bit of East Asian-American and African-American tinges.\n\n\"Are you a chick or a dude?\" Suki had learnt to ask. The way he said it was him attempting to be \"cool.\" Ken laughed. She stood up and lifted her shirt - she wasn't wearing a bra - and pulled her pants down a bit. Dang. \"Is this your girlfriend?\" Suki asked Gristi sarcastically. \"You think I'd fall in love with this simp?!\" Ken was suddenly speaking English. She meant \"simpleton\" and not \"desperate seeker of sex,\" though that might not have been far off. \"How did you even find this music? I didn't hear about Shrapnelsound until I was 22, and I'm from Jap--Jaekip.\" Suki sounded amazed. \"ErgoBuy is a wonderful place when you start purposefully misspelling keywords.\" Ken smiled and took another sip of her drink.\n\n\"You know this guy's a fucking alien, right, Grissie?\" There was a record scratch sound effect - some Ergonian hardcore hip-hop song had begun to play in the background. Gristi looked at Suki. \"How--\" Suki began to ask. Ken cut him off. \"Your ass has been all over the news, brother.\" She changed the channel on the TV, which was playing news about Suki's visit. \"Don't tell me all you've done so far is talk to bumpkins that don't read the news.\" \"Well, we did meet the Korones...\" Suki said. Ken laughed. \"Love those two idiots! If it wasn't for the river runnin' through my back yard, I'd live on their side of town.\" She said with a smile wide enough to park a haul truck in. \"The others we spoke to were road tripping and probably listening to mixtapes instead of the news.\" Haji interjected.\n\n\"Well... since the tongue has slipped out of the mouth... we wanna set up shop in Preztiag.\" Suki told Ken. \"We?\" Ken asked sharply. \"My friend's business empire. He has a garage, and he oversees his friends' garages, arcades, and sports shops.\" Suki explained with a smile. \"So your friend - I'm assuming from Earth because this guy looks like he doesn't know a tyre rod from a tie rod - wants to go into business with me.\" Ken recapped. \"This guy\" was, of course, Haji. \"Well, this is going to be a big project. So it won't be immediate.\" Suki explained shyly. \"Well, is dude's business' going well on Earth?\" \"Well enough for four franchises of everything.\" Suki quipped like a sassy secretary.\n\nKen stood up. \"I'm interested. Keep me posted.\" She said. \"Be sure to tell the Korones, too. They'll be our garage franchise. You guys don't even need to change the names of your businesses, and, likely, don't need to change how you run them.\" Suki said with a smile. \"So, what are you gonna do for that arcade?\" Ken asked. She was actually interested in this project. \"We're going to see about buying that happening bar outside of town.\" Suki said. Ken looked confused. \"Happening bar? I know we're a quarter-century behind Earth, but don't tell me everybody's reverted to 1950s dialects there.\" \"Strip club. He means the strip club. The Front and Centre.\" Gristi corrected. \"Thank fuck! You know the owner of that place knuckled me over once?\"\n\nThere was an awkward pause. Gristi wanted to speak but didn't know how to broach the subject. He decided to anyway. \"Did you... work there?\" He asked cautiously. Even if they were friends, he knew Ken had anger issues. \"No! Are you kidding me? I felt up one of his girls. He tried to start static and... well, he had to wear sunglasses for a week after. Blacked both his eyes.\" She said, pointing to her own. \"These tits couldn't get a 12-year-old off.\" She joked, grabbing them. \"Keith'll like you.\" Suki said to Ken.\n\nGristi took Suki and Haji back home - although they stopped at the rail line again, and got takeout on the way home. Suki got on his laptop and told his friends about who he met that day. They encouraged him. \"Haji, do I have to go home if this is mission complete?\" Suki asked. \"Hmm... I wouldn't think so. We haven't got visas figured out yet.\" Haji laughed. \"I want to go back to the cool grey crew and finish their road trip with them.\" Suki said, which made Haji smile. It disappeared quickly. \"Do you know when they finish?\" Haji asked. \"They said it'd take them a little over two weeks. They started... six days ago. So they have half their trip left.\" Suki said and sent a message. The response was decently quick - Tixi was keeping them on schedule. \"They'll be in... Yinecea? When they turn in tomorrow.\" Haji clapped in response to what Suki said. \"I'll book a flight and send your AA there.\" Haji said. Suki hugged him.\n\n-- Chapter 7: One Last Thing... --\n\nSuki exited the Yinecea airport. The Toyota AA he had been using in Eutoia was waiting for him outside. He got into it and drove to Yinecea proper. He waited for the others there. He enjoyed the ocean breeze and watching the traffic drive past. Watching the water today and a few days ago was as close to nature as he'd ever been. Yinecea was very obviously Ergon's version of Venice, including the lack of roads in the city proper. Eventually, the cool grey crew showed up and parked nearby. They got out and spoke indistinctly about finding Suki there. Tixi ran up and hugged him. They kissed.\n\n\"Still here, huh?\" Tixi said, breaking the kiss. \"Yeah. My... mission is complete, so to speak. We just need to clear some paperwork, and I'll be going back home. I don't know how much I can say, but... We'll speak again before you know it.\" Suki said with an air of sadness. \"Is this goodbye?\" Tixi asked sadly. \"Not yet. I want to go with you to Istanbul.\" Suki said. Both smiled. Tixi giggled and kissed him again. They held in an embrace. It was still kind of weird, in Suki's mind at least, that he had basically fallen in love with what is essentially a woman. But Suki didn't see Tixi as a woman. He saw her as his friend, with whom he just happened to have benefits. No different than Audrey or Colin.\n\n\"We gotta walk to the hotel.\" Zest said, putting her large hand on both of their shoulders at the same time. They followed her. Drae and Xeagan were there, too. \"This must be the most you've travelled in a while, eh, Fawnie?\" Xeagan asked Suki in Ergonese. \"I might be all travelled out by the end of this trip. I might never leave my room again. So, nothing new.\" Xeagan was surprised - not at the admission of Suki being a hikikomori, that was obvious - but that his Ergonese had improved so much in the last couple of days. He was speaking it fluently now. Xeagan began to suspect something was amiss, but she wasn't going to accuse him in public. \"If you are what I think, I'll protect you.\" Xeagan whispered in Suki's ear in English. Suki's eyes widened. He said nothing.\n\nYinecea was one of the few places on Ergon that was almost identical to how it was on Earth, due to how long Venice has survived in its mostly ancient form. They got to the hotel. Zest called a meeting in her room. \"Suki, is there something you want to tell the class?\" Zest asked him in Ergonese, teasingly. Suki thought it best that he just say it outright. \"I'm from Earth.\" \"No!\" Drae said as if he legitimately didn't expect it. Xeagan looked at him sarcastically. Everyone knew or suspected, except for him.\n\nDrae got up and smushed Suki's face. \"If he's an alien, then why does he look and feel like a dierian?\" He asked. \"Many Earthlings are just like us, Drae. It's just that the names and classifications are a bit different.\" Tixi said in an encyclopedic tone. \"Alright, femboy, prove it.\" Drae told Suki in English as he let go of his face. Suki calmly plugged his computer into the TV and opened the ErgoWiki article on his visit. The page had a bust photo of him that was taken by Haji in the palace. He stood next to the photo. \"Huh.\" Drae said.\n\nSuki spent the next few hours telling his new friends about Earth and how crap it was. He slept with Tixi again, and they headed out the next morning, now with an extra car with Suki tagging along. They continued along the coast of the Midaqueous Sea. During the trip, they revealed the name of their car club to Suki: The Steelers, named as such because all of their cars were painted steel blue, and because Zest's father worked in a steel mill when she was young. Suki called ahead and had a surprise waiting when they entered Grellis, the Ergonian version of Greece.\n\nIt was morningtime in the Ergonian version of Igoumenitsa. It was the start of the fourth day separated from Yinecea, and the 16th day of the trip for the Steelers. Suki wasn't in the hotel. He left a note for the others (he had told Tixi he had to \"run an errand\"). The note said to meet him at the marina. So they did. And when they got there, Suki was leaning on a 2000 Opel Speedster painted in Delphingrau. The colour fit right in with the others. The Steelers exited their cars. \"Damn, Suki. Where'd you get one of those?\" The Speedster was a brand-new car on Ergon, and a very popular one. \"Government contacts.\" He said with a smirk. Suki was about to live out a childhood fantasy of driving it along the Greek coast - a reference to Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 that the Ergonians wouldn't understand until the game was released there the following year. They just thought he had a fancy car, which he did. Even if he could only fit one bag of luggage and his laptop bag in the passenger seat, plus four pairs of clothes in the trunk. The rest was taken by Haji to await his arrival in Istanbul.\n\nHe got in the car and started its four-cylinder engine. It responded with a rasp. The others got back in their cars and followed him around the Grellisian coast. Suki was having the time of his life. Haji had written down all the techno stations along their route, so he was never without banging tunes for long. They went the long way through Grellis. It took them another four days to reach the equivalent of Athens and another four to reach Tavurgha, Ergon's version of Turkey.\n\nThey arrived in Costanbulgho, the Ergonian version of Istanbul, by the evening of day 25. They parked by the edge of the strait that separated Costanbulgho and Istanopul. Although the whole area was part of Istanbul on Earth, the two halves were separated on Ergon. This part of the world was, in fact, very different to Earth. When Suki looked around, there weren't any women in hijabs, nor was there the sound of prayers coming from mosques. Suki only noted the difference - but Keith would have been laughing his ass off. The only Earth religions that made it to Ergon were Christianity and Judaism (and a few Pagan beliefs that blended into general Ergonian Paganism) - Islam was nowhere to be found. Suki thought back to what Haji said about the Armenian genocide never happening on Ergon, and how small-scale wars usually were. Suki grew up in an era where Islam was frequently associated with terrorism due to Japan's support of the US after 9/11. Although his views of Muslims were of indifference and not hate (as with some of his Earthling friends), it was equally as strange to him that Islam was just... gone from this holy city.\n\n\"Hey, spacecase, you alright, mate?\" Xeagan asked. Suki said nothing. He was in the same sort of far-off, distant frame of mind as he was when he first met the Steelers. \"This is a strange place.\" He said in English, and in a monotone, matter-of-fact manner. Tixi grabbed his hand. This eased his mind some and brought him back down to earth a little. \"This city is very different on Earth.\" Suki said, sounding like Spock in Star Trek. \"One of Earth's major religions rules this town. But it's completely absent from Ergon. I won't tell you about it as your government clearly doesn't want it here. Knowing how my friends back home feel about it, one can understand as to why.\" Suki said in the same cryptic manner as a wise, old sensei.\n\nSuki sat on top of an ancient railing over the strait. Tixi joined him. \"There are things on this planet that have completely flipped my perspective on how life works. I've been awestruck with technology, been to entirely new continents and been humbled by your hospitality... but Istanbul without Islam is... this place really is another world. And that's coming from an atheist.\" He shook his head in disbelief - and to snap out of the trance. He and Tixi stood back on solid ground. \"This place is very dreamlike. Everything is the same, but different enough to feel ethereal. I mean, look at your cars.\" Suki motioned to the Steelers' cars and walked toward them. \"There are cars like this on Earth, but not this.\" He pointed at the badge on Tixi's car. \"This... whatever the fuck brand this is - it doesn't exist on Earth!\"\n\nHe began to rant about just how crazy this planet was. This was the exact overstimulation that Haji was trying to avoid by telling Suki about Ergon slowly. The same hysteria that affected the American racing driver Haji mentioned that got \"fried.\" Then, he went quiet and froze. Tixi was holding him. She shushed him gently. \"I love you... spacehead.\" Tixi whispered into his ear in Ergonese. He collapsed to his knees. She knelt to comfort him. He breathed heavily and shook. \"It's okay. Breathe.\" Tixi told him in English.\n\nHe turned to her and held her head in his hands. \"I'll get them to hook you up with a connection to Earth's internet. We can exchange daily emails - god knows the latency will be that bad.\" She hugged him. He stood up. \"I've always wanted to say this... I must go. My planet needs me.\" He did the Vulcan salute. \"Live long and prosper.\" \"Thanks. It was great meeting you.\" Xeagan said, going to hug Suki. \"Yes...\" Drae read a keyboard in his head. \"You're a good kid, Suki.\" Drae joined the hug. \"Aren't we the same age?\" Suki asked, laughing. \"Yes.\" Drae responded, snickering. Zest joined the hug, causing everyone to grunt. \"So long, space cowboy.\" She said. Suki smiled, then kissed Tixi one last time. He got in the Opel. A hi-NRG cover of Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo played over the radio. He drove off.\n\nIt was a little past nightfall when Suki and Haji landed at the Naese airport. Suki took in the views of the airport one last time and mused to himself how he might never get to board a plane from the tarmac again, or how he might not be able to get through an airport so easily again. He and Haji retrieved the AA from a cargo plane that had followed them. Suki had been driving all day, so he had Haji drive. They went through a vehicle x-ray machine and left the airport for Sarquelle. Suki put the radio on and tuned it to the techno station he found when they got there. Keep Hope Alive by The Crystal Method came on. They shared a low chuckle. Suki smiled as a tear fell down his face. He hadn't felt this... this... acceptance and camaraderie since he first met Keith a decade ago.\n\nSuki slept like a rock in his palace suite. He woke up the next morning and went about his routine. He had a weight on his shoulders, knowing he would be leaving soon. He entered Worl's office. He had one final meeting. Worl had his back turned to him again. \"So ya... thought ya... might go to the show?\" Worl sung. He swung around to face Suki and Haji once more. \"Feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow?\" Suki and Haji sat down. \"Amy would like you.\" Suki chuckled. \"Great!\" Worl said, rolling his R. \"Who's Amy? No matter!! You have been nothing but systematic in helping us improve our technology. This trip has turned out just as I had hoped it would - and I hope you feel the same!\" Suki nodded.\n\n\"I have outstanding news, Earth dierian!\" Worl bellowed. \"We got your simulator working!\" He shouted as an air horn played over a hidden speaker. \"No shot!\" Suki said with a giggling smile. \"Yes shot!\" Worl played some testing footage on a nearby television. They had even got the video game replication working. The video was of a test race in Need for Speed: High Stakes. It featured a car from the game - the Pontiac Firebird, some Ergonian sports car, a Mazda Miata and a Hot Wheels Deora II, all modelled with a game-accurate poly count. Suki smiled proudly. It was clearly his simulation and not modded game footage - when one of the racers got busted, it looked like an actual person was writing the racer a ticket.\n\n\"I'm so happy you got it working, Worl.\" Suki said. \"Me too.\" Worl said plainly. \"We should have the warp internet complete soon. We're deploying a couple of satellites to Earth to lower the latency even more. You can keep that wi-fi antenna we gave you - you'll need it to access Ergonet until we get the satellites up.\" Suki got up and hugged Worl. \"Thanks. For everything.\" He put an external hard drive on the desk - it was the same one that the government had given back after they got the simulator code transferred. \"My journal entries. That should give my ErgoWiki page some new citations.\" Suki smiled and turned to leave. \"Oh, and that Toyota you built for me? I'll pay you for it. I know just where you can take it to.\"\n\n-- Chapter 8: Presents of Mind --\n\nSuki got back home on Earth safely. The day after he did, he went to Audrey's house. He had a present for him. He walked up to the door and knocked on it. Audrey swung the door open, picked Suki up and squeezed him. Suki's back cracked. At least, Audrey hoped it was his back. \"So, did you get probed?\" Audrey asked teasingly as he rubbed Suki's ear. \"Maybe.\" Suki giggled. \"I got something for you.\" Suki ran back to his car, which was his usual Lexus - I mean, Toyota.\n\nSuki set the gift-wrapped present on Audrey's coffee table. It was pretty large - about 18 inches long, 15 inches wide and 10 inches tall. It was wrapped in floral wrapping paper full of Ergonian fruit-bearing plants. Audrey unwrapped it surprisingly methodically for someone of his demeanour, carefully pulling tape off and tearing along the lines. It was a grey Sterilite tote. Audrey's eyes met Suki's. They both smiled at each other. Audrey popped the top of the tote off. It was full of factory-sealed diecast toy cars. They were packed into the tote in the same manner that Mattel's factories packed them in. But there were more than just Mattel cars in the totes.\n\n\"Man, this must have cost a fortune.\" Audrey said, looking over the tote and not knowing where to start. \"I think it was about 3,780 credits.\" Suki said nonchalantly. Audrey's eyes widened. \"That's $40, silly.\" Suki giggled and smiled. Audrey let out a relieved whistle. He loved being gifted diecast from his friends, but felt bad if they paid too much for them. Suki broke the ice and pulled out two of the cars. They were the exact same release - a 2001 Hot Wheels First Editions MS-T Suzuka - but one was almost identical to the Earth release, and one had a package with only Ergonese writing on it.\n\n\"Uh, what language is this, exactly?\" Audrey asked confusedly. \"Ergonese.\" Suki said. \"They only have one language.\" Suki pointed out all of the letters of Hot Wheels on the card. \"Can you... pull out the next cars for me? Stephanie always does that for me when I get new cars.\" Audrey said in a surprisingly meek manner. Suki nodded and smiled. He pulled out another car. It was a dead-mint Johnny Lightning Custom Spoiler in red. It was a common casting, but it looked like an original 1970 release. \"No fucking shit!\" Audrey said. It looked like his soul left his body when he took the card from Suki. \"Where'd you find this?!\" He said, exasperated. \"Some department store. All these are from the same one. I tried to grab a variety of cars.\" Suki said.\n\n\"So this is brand new?!\" Audrey asked. Suki nodded. He took the card and pointed to the bottom of the cardback. Suki read it aloud. \"© 2001 Playing Mantis, Inc. Mishkeena, FY. MADE IN CIAOSHEN\" It was the same copyright notice that the 1990s re-releases of the 1970s cars had, but Ergonified. Suki pointed to another line of text next to the copyright notice. It was a serial number. Suki read it for him. \"2001 02 16... Y means it's from the Topper line, and the rest is the sequence number. So this was the 487th car made in that line that day. All companies are required to print the date of manufacture in the serial number to aid in the event of a recall and to avoid fraud in the second-hand market. The serial numbers are required to be put on the packaging and the product itself.\" Suki pointed out the same serial number on the bottom of the car. \"Can't you just... scrape that off and defraud people?\" Audrey asked. \"The same way you can remove the VIN off a car or file off the serial number off of a gun to defraud people.\" Suki said. Oh. That makes sense.\n\n\"So... are Toppers just... worthless?\" Audrey asked, setting the car aside with the other. \"Not really, no. Ones with the original 1969-1971 serial numbers are still valuable. After that, they were bought out and produced by the government - that's the Preservation Act at work.\" Suki explained to Audrey the same way as Haji had explained him. \"Rad.\" Audrey said. Suki took out another car, this one was a Matchbox. He handed it to Audrey. \"What fucking casting is this?\" Audrey scrutinised the car. \"That is a 1998 Takagegi Mossoko GTi.\" Suki told him as if Audrey was supposed to know what that meant. The car was a sport compact painted in a metallic white colour, with a dark grey stripe on the side reading \"GTi.\" Audrey looked as if he had lost the plot.\n\n\"I'm guessing this is some Oregonian car that no Earthling has ever seen before?\" Audrey asked, although it was almost a statement. Suki nodded. \"So there are... Pull out another one.\" Audrey began to ask, but switched to instructing firmly midway through. Suki pulled out a Majorette car, a Nissan 300 ZX. \"Okay. Got it. Ergon has its own cars, but also those from Earth.\" Audrey said as if he was trying to keep himself grounded. Then Suki hit him with the Eagle from Carmageddon in a Hot Wheels package. It looked to be from the 100% line. \"Well. That's a new spin on 'adult collectable.\" Audrey said as he set it with the others.\n\n\"This one is special!\" Suki said, failing to hide his excitement. He pulled out another car. It had a slightly different packaging design. It had a round, offset hook that let the car dangle from the pegs while staying upright. It had a push tab on the plastic blister like a Matchbox car would. The car was another Ergonian design. Audrey didn't recognise the brand logo. \"What... is it?\" Audrey said, curiously inspecting the case. \"They're called Zipptraks. Spelt with two P's and no C. They came out in 1970 as a response to Hot Wheels. They were the sole other survivor of the low-friction boon. They're a subsidiary of the Ermini Corporation, which was the first diecast car company native to Ergon. I got every Ermini and Zipptrak they had, which accounts for half of this tote.\" Suki said and started pulling them out two, three, four at a time. Audrey was overwhelmed in the best way. \"Erminis became the cheaper, more kid-friendly, more durable line from them.\" Suki said as he continued to take cars out.\n\n\"This is one of their premiums. I only got one of them because they were $5 a piece.\" Suki handed Audrey a highly detailed casting of some Ergonian pony car. \"Guess when that line came out.\" Suki said as he continued fishing Erminis out. \"Eh, nineteen ninety... eight? I would guess, to compete with Playing Mantis.\" Audrey said, inspecting the car. \"1974.\" Suki said. \"No.\" Audrey said in disbelief. \"The Ergonians are trustworthy. They wouldn't lie about that.\" Suki said. \"So you're telling me... right in the middle of the diecast crash... these fuckos come out with Johnny Lightning 20 years early?!\" Audrey asked as he ate the scenery. Suki nodded. \"How the fuck did they do that?!\" Audrey continued. \"The government makes these.\" Suki told. \"That's how important cars are to those people.\" Suki put the last of the Ermini cars out. Thirty of them were piled up on the coffee table. \"They only make Ergonian cars, as you can probably tell.\"\n\n\"These are super cool.\" Suki said. He pulled out a Lexus SC 400 with Hot Wheels branding, but it was in a 1960s-style package and had a candy blue paint job and removable wheels. It even included a \"collector button.\" \"This was $3.29.\" Suki didn't have to explain the car to Audrey. It was a modern Hot Wheels car built the same as they were in 1968. The cars were marketed on Ergon as the Spectraflame series. \"Fuck, that's cool. As you said, I suppose.\" Audrey said.\n\nSuki pulled out a little yellow box with Matchbox branding (in Ergonese). \"These were a lot cheaper. But I spent most of my budget on Erminis.\" Audrey took the car out of the box. It was an Opel Omega B with opening front doors and a trunklid. It had simple black wheels with \"mushroom cap\" axles on a flat chassis like an early Matchbox car would. Audrey was sent for a loop - either by such a modern car being in such an antiquated style, or because the Omega was never made by Matchbox, despite it being perfect for the brand. I mean, they released a Vectra A in 1990 after all.\n\nThe last two were bigger boxes. \"This one cost as much as that Eagle, but it was just too cool.\" Suki took out a Dinky Toys model of a Citroen Xsara. \"Dude.\" Audrey said, holding the box. He gently took it out of the box. Audrey was amazed by how on point the models were, both in quality and the choice of models to replicate. He began to get the same \"alternate universe/dream\" vibe that Suki experienced almost constantly on Ergon. Suki pulled the last box out. It was a 5-pack of Micro Machines. It was a cross-promotion with Need for Speed: High Stakes and featured five cars from the game, replicated in the classic, original 1987 level of detail. \"I might have bought one of these for myself. That was about five bucks.\" Suki said with a smile.\n\nAudrey looked at his coffee table full of diecast. Suki sat by him. Audrey shook his head and smiled, before giving Suki a big kiss. Audrey loved his imported diecast, so he was as happy as a peach. \"Oh!\" Suki left the house quickly, as if he had left the gas on at home. He returned with another present. It looked like another diecast car, but this one was individually wrapped. Suki gave it to Audrey. He carefully unwrapped it. It was a 4\" action figure packaged with a highly detailed 1/64 scale car. It was made by Ermini and had Action Racing League branding. The driver was Hroxx K'lar, according to the packaging.\n\n\"I know you're not into action figures, but this one looked cool.\" Suki said meekly as he sat down next to Audrey. \"That's fine... this is cool.\" Audrey said, inspecting the box. \"I love the presentation. Very Gen X.\" He said. \"There's something else related to that that I was allowed to have. But it's top secret, understand?\" Suki said. Audrey nodded. Suki pulled a VHS tape from his hoodie's pocket. It had a plain black sleeve with a cut-out for the label. The label read \"ARL PROMO 2001 :60\" in Ergonese. Suki turned the living room TV and VCR on. He put the tape in and hit play.\n\nIt was the same promo that Ketarca had shown Suki earlier. The two were silent as the tape played, and for a few moments after it stopped. Suki went to rewind the tape. \"Fuck.\" Audrey said. \"When can I watch that?!\" He bellowed. \"It's supposed to be a secret. Ugh. I knew I shouldn't have brought the tape... Well...\" Suki said, taking the tape out of the VCR. \"This September, they're gonna run the first season of the ARL to be held on Earth. I can get you tickets.\" Suki said to Audrey as he gave him the tape. Audrey gave him a big kiss. \"You mean the world to me, kid.\" Audrey told Suki. \"Love you, too. Big dork.\" Suki smiled back.\n\n-- Epilogue: Crush on Me --\n\nBack on Ergon, Woxres found a spot for the AA in his museum. He was writing its story down in a notebook. Across the street, Zest and Xeagan were filming a video in Ergonese. \"Well, guys, what do you think? I've been telling you for years that I'd get access to a scrapyard for some crushes.\" Zest said to the camera as she walked through the scrapyard. \"What mark are we looking for, again?\" Xeagan asked. \"A big X on the roof.\" \"Like this?\" Xeagan had come upon a little blue 3-door hatchback that had its rear end smashed in. The axle was snapped in half. Xeagan ripped the passenger door - which was already buckled - clean off of its hinges. Zest cheered for her. Xeagan threw the door down as if it didn't weigh any more than an empty cardboard box.\n\nZest gave Xeagan the camera. \"So, yeah, this is a great opportunity for us... and you.\" Zest said as she climbed on top of the car. \"The owner says we can rig and 'play with' any of the cars they have marked for crushing.\" Zest said before jumping ass-first onto the roof of the little car. It didn't fully collapse like a \"rigged\" car would, but she left a big, bear-shaped dent. \"Thanks for watching, guys. We hope to see you soon.\""
}
3835544_5949263_4x4pup_suki_space_06.writing.json · CAS artifact Download
{
"writing": "-- Intro: Shoot It Up --\n\nFebruary 14, 2026. A field in rural Wisconsin. It's a little past midnight. Keith Rufus drops Itsuki Kaede off by the side of the road with a laptop bag and a couple of suitcases.\n\n\"Not the first Valentine's Day I've spent in a moonlit field in the middle of nowhere. Won't be the last.\" Keith remarks. Suki bows to him, and he drives off.\n\nIt's a quiet minute as Suki stands alone at the side of the road. Then, he hears the sound of a jet airliner. He looks up out of curiosity, but sees nothing. It gets louder, being combined with a deep whirring noise. Then, maybe 50 feet above him, some landing lights come on. \"What the...\" Suki mutters to himself. A spaceship - probably the size of a semi truck and twice as wide as one in the back - lands next to him. The front left window rolls down with all the casualness of going to order food at a drive-through. \"Itsuki Kaede?\" a wolf-like man with long hair and defined muscles says as he leans out of the window. Suki nods cautiously. \"I'm here to take you to Ergon.\" \"Here goes nothing...\" Suki mutters to himself in Japanese.\n\nSuki enters the craft via its front passenger door. The craft is so strange to an Earthing, yet so familiar. Inside, it resembles a high-end recreational vehicle. Itsuki buckles into the craft's five-point harness as if he'd done it a hundred times. \"My name is Hajiko Mataeko. I work for the Ergonian government as a spaceship driver.\" He says as the craft hovers upward. \"Are you Japanese? That's a very Japanese-sounding name.\" Suki asks. \"Kind of? I'm from the island of Jaekip - it's pretty much identical to your Japan. Our dialect is very similar to Japanese, and Ergonian names are dependent on dialect... heavily-dialected names are usually untranslatable.\" Hajiko said as he angled the craft up and throttled up. The craft gently sped toward escape velocity. To Hajiko, it felt like the transition from running to walking. To Suki? It felt like he was sitting in a top fuel dragster.\n\n\"You can call me Haji, by the way. We'll be out of Earth's orbit in about 10 minutes.\" Suki looked at him with wide eyes and tried to nod. \"We'll be able to hit Hyperdrive when we leave the atmosphere.\" Haji continues. \"Hyperdrive?\" Suki asks. \"Hyperdrive. This ship is equipped with our new Uberdrive system. With it, we should get to Ergon in 17 days.\" Haji explains. \"How fast is Hyperdrive?\" Suki asks. Maybe he shouldn't have. \"Hyperdrive I is 100,000 klicks per hour. e-Hyperdrive came out, ehh, about a hundred years ago. It tops out at about 335,000 k's. More R&D time was put into fuel efficiency than speed. We'll only have to stop for fuel 3 times this trip. EWG's got us 3 refuelling ships set up along the way. That's the Ergon World Government, EWG.\" \"And Uberdrive?\" Suki asks tentatively. \"One million kilometres per hour.\"\n\nSuki's breath hitched. He was scared and excited. As much as he loved sci-fi and even made his own sci-fi inventions... this was the real deal.\n\nHaji tore a paper pouch open and put a multi-coloured substance in his mouth. \"Want some?\" Haji asked innocently. The writing on the pouch was in a stereotypical \"Eastern\" font, but Suki didn't recognise the writing system despite his extensive knowledge of language. \"Oh... I don't...\" \"Oh, I forgot that Earthlings shred up carcinogenic plants and eat and smoke them for fun. No tobacco - it's shichimi chew.\" Suki cautiously took a pinch of the substance and held it in his palm, scrutinising it. Haji was right - ground pepper, chenpi, yuzu peel, poppy seeds, dried nori, sesame seeds... nothing in the mix Suki didn't recognise. \"Just tuck it in your lower lip.\" Haji encouraged, so Suki did. The flavour hit him like a spark - it was definitely shichimi, albeit missing the fine powdered ingredients like ginger. \"I'll tell you more about Ergon when we get into Hyperdrive. We'll be able to walk around the cabin as the Hyperdrive's autopilot takes us to the first fueling stop.\" Haji explained.\n\nEventually, the craft left the Earth's atmosphere. \"Suki?\" Haji said. Suki looked at him. \"Hang onto your bucks.\" Haji cranked the key in the ship's ignition to the START position. He then lifted a polycarbonate case off a big blue button. Haji motioned for Suki to push the button. Suki smiled and slammed it. The engine whirred loudly. \"Three... two... one...\" Haji counted before the two were thrust back into their seats, the seats themselves slingshotting back before gradually returning to zero as the acceleration evened out with the speed. Suki looked at the speedometer. 275 kps. Suki had gone 275 kilometres per hour before, but never 275 per second.\n\nThe ship's heads-up display blinked blue in an indecipherable text. Haji pressed a button took and his seatbelts off. \"We're at cruising speed. You can stretch your legs if you need to.\" He stood up and walked to a bookshelf in the back. Suki unbuckled and followed him. Haji slipped a pamphlet onto the table. The pamphlet read, \"ENGLISH to ERGONESE - What you need to know to learn our simple language.\" \"Once you get our writing system memorised, translation will be easy.\" Haji says as Suki opens the pamphlet and reads over it... multiple times within a minute.\n\nHaji opens his laptop. Suki continues reading the pamphlet over and over. \"I should have this memorised by tomorrow.\" Suki says in a monotone voice. \"Well, take your time. I got a lot to tell you about Ergon. Boss man says I should ease you into it. We nearly fried an Earthling when we tried to introduce Ergon to him whole hog.\" Haji explained. \"Come to think, I could probably play you that clip on ErgoView, but nah. Best to gradually introduce it. We got 17 days to fill, anyway. Which reminds me...\" Haji walked to the fridge. \"Want a beer?\" Suki looked at Haji indignantly. \"I don't drink.\" \"It's non-alcoholic. And I mean really non-alcoholic. True zeroes.\" Suki continued staring. Haji took a can of beer and a bottle of soda from the fridge. \"Alcohol is considered highly poisonous on Ergon. Same with tobacco. We've copied your tobacco and alcohol cultures but refined them - pun intended - to remove any unwanted side effects.\" Suki looked at the bottle of soda. \"Isn't this just Ramune?\" \"Hai,\" Haiji said. \"We have also imported many Earth brands to Ergon.\" Suki looked at the beer can. It was clearly Sapporo Premium - just with Ergonese glyphs on the can.\n\nSuki opened the Ramune. \"Oh!\" Haji says, opening the beer and running to the control panel. \"Watch this.\" He pushes a button, which causes the windows to project the image of driving on the highway, down a country road. \"Whoa...\" Suki says. \"Day/night cycle so you don't have your circadian rhythm messed up. This environment is procedurally generated and will change biomes every couple of days, so it feels like you're actually travelling somewhere. Something to make space feel less empty.\" Haji replies. \"I'm going to bed. I've been up for 20 hours already. And don't try to look for hidden nuggets of Ergonian info around the ship. It's got biometric locks.\" Suki rolls his eyes. They both prepare for the night and go to bed. The ship has two single beds at the back. Haji takes the right, Suki takes the left.\n\n-- Chapter 1: For Here, Am I Sitting in a Tin Can --\n\nHaji is up before Suki the next morning. He's prepared a delicious traditional Japanese breakfast. \"I made this using food mostly shared between Ergon and Earth, but I have some tsukemono made from tsaki as well, which is this,\" Haji said, setting the plate down and putting down a bright green pile of fruit. \"It tastes like kiwi and grapefruit.\" Haji says. Suki picks up the tsaki with chopsticks and sniffs at it. The two enjoy the meal and do the dishes.\n\nLater, Suki stopped studying the Ergonese pamphlet for long enough to look at the artificial outdoor environment. \"So... is this what Ergon looks like?\" Suki asks. \"More or less. You probably won't find anywhere on Ergon exactly like this, but it's based on different areas of Ergon. Looks like we're in... Bavayren, or Alosia, or somewhere like that. I'll get you a map!\" Haji gets a world map from a bookshelf and lays it out on the table. \"This is Earth.\" Suki responds. Ergon is, in fact, very similar to Earth, but a lot of the islands are closer together, and there are new islands in between the continents. \"Wrong,\" Haji said sternly. \"It's Earth, but cooler. Literally. Winters in the poles hit triple digits easily.\" \"I hope you mean Fahrenheit.\" Suki responds. \"Nope. Celsius. We haven't used Fahrenheit in over 1,500 years. We only use the metric system... we're a very global place, you see. All electronics can be used anywhere; you don't need to convert currency, you don't need to know any other languages, just dialects.\" Haji explained. \"Rad.\" Suki replied, studying the map. \"You have a landmass at the North Pole. Is it permafrost?\" Suki asked. \"No. Well, most of it is, but there's probably 400 square kilometres of solid land there.\" Haji replied. Suki is already beginning to grasp Ergonese glyphs. \"Alosia? Bavayren?\" Suki says, pointing to what would be Austria and Germany. Haji nods. \"Study the map. Proper nouns are the hardest thing to translate.\" Suki was in love. He spent the whole day learning Ergonian place names.\n\nThe following day, Haji wakes up to find Suki holding the ship's VCR. \"Oh.\" Haji says. \"I reverse-engineered your biometric scanner. You really should have its RAM be encrypted.\" Suki says plainly. \"Stupid cheapo VultoMart-brand locks...\" Haji says to himself. \"Usually, there are cheap but well-made items available to those with a lower income... but biometric scanners are considered luxury items, which don't have the mandated quality control.\" He explains to Suki. \"What kind of port is this?\" Suki said, pointing to a diamond-shaped port on the back of the VCR. \"Oh. That's the holoport.\" Haji says, grabbing a small disc with a cable attached to the back. Haji plugs it in. \"Let me find a spoiler-free tape.\" He says. \"Ah. Cannonball Run.\" Haji takes the tape from a shelf. He takes the tape from the sleeve and flicks a switch on the tape. \"What does that switch do?\" Suki asked. \"That switches between the English and Ergonese dub.\" \"Put it on the Ergonese dub.\" Suki says, Haji looks at him briefly, then grins, and puts the tape in, pressing play. A familiar-looking black sports car appears in living colour, floating above the disc. \"Whoa!\" Suki says. When he moves, the picture always stays facing him. \"That is too cool!\" He says. \"Hologram projectors are typically used for viewing 3D models, but people use them as regular movie projectors, too. Of course, this is a luxury-model VCR. Not every one has a holoport.\" Haji explained.\n\nHaji sits down and enjoys the film. \"We were hoping you'd share some technology with us... I'm not sure if you were told.\" He says plainly. Suki stands up and gets something from the bedroom. A Windows 7-era Western Digital external hard drive hits the table. \"I've held up my end of the bargain. The coding for the simulator is in there. But I have some special hardware that I run it on. I'll give you the specs, but I have a custom logic board in it that I can't exactly re-create... but if you guys manage to pull it off, big ups.\"\n\n\"I wouldn't be so unsure,\" Haji says. \"We already have similar-ish simulators for one of our racing leagues - the cars are remote-controlled due to the dangerous on-track action. It's basically a VR/simrig set-up with suits that emulate touch. It's way more in-depth than any simrig on Earth... but we could take it further... if your simulator is as advanced as you say.\" \"No promises. Without that chip... I can't guarantee it'll work.\" Suki says. \"That's a chance we'll have to take.\"\n\nThe next day, the two are having lunch. \"How much does McDonald's cost on Ergon?\" Suki asks. \"A Big Mac's like 250 credits... $2.50 USD. We try to maintain the value of the credit to be 100 per USD. This ship was about 5 mil.\" \"You mentioned cheap versions of stuff being available to low-income people?\" Suki asked. \"That's right. Non-luxury items are mandated to have cheap and reliable versions of them. Padlocks, cars, fridges... which is saying something because stuff on Ergon is already more durable and reliable than it is on Earth.\" Haji explained.\n\n\"Ergon's politics are based in conservatism and libertarianism, but have socialist elements like that.\" Haji explains. \"Did you get paid to say that?\" Suki quips. Haji opens his mouth, but pauses without saying anything. \"Yeah, I got paid 500 credits to say that. But it's true. If you commit, there's a job for everyone on Ergon. You'd fit right into the tech sector. Rome wasn't coded in a day, and certainly not by one person.\" Haji stands up and looks at the clock. \"We need to refuel tonight at about 20:00. You're more than welcome to watch.\" \"Don't have to tell me twice.\" Suki says with a smile. A few hours later, Haji deactivates hyperdrive. A tanker-like ship can be seen ahead. Haji pulls up next to it. A man in a spacesuit exits the tanker and guides a nozzle over to the motorhome ship. \"Should take 15 minutes to fuel. Then we'll be good to go until day 12.\" Haji said.\n\nSuki wakes up the next morning. Haji is running diagnostics. \"Systems nominal?\" Suki asks. \"Yep. Everything looks good. Uberdrive is experimental still, you understand. It's in the final testing phases, and this run is basically a test run. The logs have been great. We should be able to get this tech out the door in a few months.\" Haji replies. \"Is space travel common?\" Suki asks. \"It was in a lull before we started getting positive reports from Zark on Earth. We're hoping to have a whole tourism industry between our planets.\" Haji says. \"Well, you guys get the thumbs up from me. This trip has been a great pleasure so far.\" Suki replies. The rest of the day was pretty standard, with nothing of note happening.\n\n\"Do you like chess?\" Haji asks the next day. \"Of course. The thinking man's board game.\" Suki replies. Haji sets up a game of holographic chess. \"You can either move it like a touch-screen or by hovering your fingers above the pieces and 'moving' them like that.\" They begin playing. \"Do you ever... feel like you never grow up?\" Suki asks suddenly. Haji is taken aback. \"Can't say I have. Maybe because I'm 32 and look like I'm 32.\" \"Yeah, that's what I mean. I look and sound the same as I was when I was 15.\" Suki says. \"Well, that's when you're considered to be an adult on Ergon, so it makes sense.\" Suki wasn't shocked - Japan was somewhat similar. \"We might have to have some laws to prevent sex tourism, but hey ho. We believe strongly in consent being the most important thing. So if you're 10 and you wanna have sex with the neighbour, and your parents are cool with it, you can do that on Ergon. But on Earth? People suddenly get so up in arms about it.\" Haji continued. \"Driving licences are 13, by the way, and there are no child labour laws as long as they're paid the same, and their parents consent. There's also a big focus on public events on Ergon... the folks there are real friendly, trust.\" He added. \"Just as long as I don't find a book labelled 'To Serve Man' in this thing, we'll be cool.\" Suki said, garnering a belly laugh from Haji. \"Love that show. A lot of Ergon is similar to those old sci-fi shows.\" They were talking about The Twilight Zone.\n\nSuki wakes up the next morning and walks out of his room in the nude. \"Whup!\" Suki utters as his hands meet his genitals to cover his naked shame. \"Morning.\" Haji said casually. \"I, uhh, was dreaming I was in my house back on Earth. I forgot I wasn't alone.\" Suki excused his behaviour. \"That's fine, no shame. Nudity's legal on Ergon as long as you're not pissing or fucking.\"\n\nHaji stands up and drops his pants. Suki recoils. \"Don't worry, it's all natural. There--\" Haji began. \"That's fine - but could you please put it away? I... I have a thing with-- I don't like seeing... girl bits.\" Suki struggled to say. \"My apologies.\" Haji pulls his pants up and re-buckles his belt before bowing. \"I read the room wrong.\" Haji admits. \"No, you didn't... I just thought you had a penis.\" Suki said, getting dressed. \"I'm, like, the only one in my friend group who is gay gay. You know?\" He continued. \"Yes, I understand. Let me show you something. Assuming you're not grossed out by anatomical drawings.\" Haji said. \"No, of course not. It's just... the real deal I don't much care for.\"\n\nHaji set a medical textbook on the table and opened it to a page where a man and a woman were displayed on the left page, and a man with female genitalia and a woman with male genitalia on the right. \"S...seeba, and... deejer.\" Suki says, his finger hovering over the text for the male and female figures on the right, respectively. \"Refer to any masculine people you encounter with male pronouns and feminine people with female pronouns until you learn the seeba/deejer pronouns. There are a lot of people like you on Ergon, androgyny is pretty common. So, uh, just base it on vibes. They won't flip out like those crazy people on Earth.\" Haji affirms.\n\nThe following day, Haji has set up a PlayStation 2 and is holding a controller. Suki didn't hesitate. \"This game is a bit of a bigger dip into the waters of Ergon. Music, car culture, city designs.\" Haji says as he presses the console's on button. Suki picks up the game's box. \"Overspeed 2. Hmm.\" Suki reads with approval. The game's intro rolls after the developer splashes. The intro starts with Earthly classical music and pre-rendered footage of some very expensive-looking cars that resemble Earthling cars, but not any specific brands or models. Then it hit. The intro switched to in-game footage of the cars racing around with burning nitrous, and crashing in spectacular form with an impressive damage model. The music is what really got Suki, though. A thumping hardcore track with Ergon's signature... unusual time signatures. It sounded like a riddim song being played on classic synths at 160 BPM.\n\nIt was all over in 60 seconds. Suki held his fist over his mouth. He looked like he was about to cry. Then the start menu loaded up. A soft, rolling synth line began to play, before going into what sounded like gqom meets early deep house, with real handclaps and drums audibly being played live on the track. \"You okay, Suki?\" Haji asked, concerned. \"We are so back.\" Suki said, hitting the start button. A highly animated main menu came up. It had a very cyber feel to it. \"I'm guessing you like the music - there's also a rock and rap playlist available, or it can just be put on shuffle. Each different playlist changes how the HUD and menus look.\" Haji mentioned. \"No, no... I think I'm good with this.\" Suki affirmed.\n\nHaji selected multiplayer mode. The \"Go Online\" function wasn't greyed out. \"Wait, this game has online?\" Suki asked as Haji selected the track. Suki picked up the box; it had the standard PS2 online icon on the cover. \"Like, you could play with other people?\" Suki asks. \"Of course. This console just came out last year.\" Haji corrects. \"Oh, duh, Ergon is 25 years in the past.\" Suki reminds himself as they go to the car selection screen. He scrolls through the cars. They all have realistic-looking logos, but nothing that has ever been seen on Earth. \"Cool.\" Suki thought to himself. \"Just like Ridge Racer.\" But then he scrolled past a familiar-looking car with a big, blue bowtie in the corner. \"What the--?\" Suki says in Japanese, aloud, before scrolling back to the car. He opens the game's box and takes the manual out, thumbing through the pages to find the credits. He reads them, squinting. \"CHEVROLET, CAMARO, the bowtie insignia and shield design are copyright Gener-- Gentek Motors?!\"\n\nHaji guffawed. \"We've been building Earth cars for 75 years now. We'll continue to do it until interplanetary lawyers become a thing.\" Suki looked through the credits again. All those cars he saw on-screen were licenced. He shook his head in disbelief. If the game is as destructive as the intro implied it was, no Earth company would licence their cars to that. But there it was. 16 different manufacturers with fully licenced cars. Suki put the manual back and readied up. The game loaded. A hard trance song with an erratic, thumping bassline plays as a short cinematic intro rolls.\n\n\"Think of this game like Burnout - but instead of chaining boosts, it has a MotorStorm-type boost system.\" Haji explains. \"Thus the name.\" Suki replies. The game counts down. 3... 2... 1... GO! The gameplay is as described - it's a classic arcade street racer, but using the boost causes the meter to fill up, which results in a warning beep sounding when close to the edge, just like in MotorStorm. Suki grasps the game very quickly - and in fact beats Haji 4:1. He's not even crashing or exploding - which are the game's main draws. He's speechless and almost on the verge of crying again. Where was this game all his life? He would have played it enough to wear a hole through the disk as a kid.\n\n\"How are you so good at this game?\" Haji asks. \"My friends have said I'm like Dale Earnhardt... not that I can see the air, but that I can see... a racing line in front of me. I can see acceleration and braking zones on the track like I was playing a video game.\" Suki explains. \"I'm no good at overtakes, but if the other cars drive on a predictable path, like in a game, I can cut right through and shoot incredible gaps.\" He continued. \"Do you race?\" Haji asked. \"Autocross. I don't do well in crowds. Cars or otherwise. People are too unpredictable for me. That's why I love machinery. They behave exactly how I expect... unless some previous owner screwed it up. I bought a cheap Aurora R5 that someone had set up with the worst RAID I've ever seen on it. I had to reflash the OS.\" Suki told.\n\nHaji had a crooked grin sweep over his face. \"You're gonna love our drones.\" Suki's eyes met Haji's for the first time during the entire play session. He paused the game. \"Eh?\" Suki asked. \"Oh yeah, did I forget to tell you this past week? Our drones. They're totally programmable and fully functional robots. They look just like the sentients.\" Haji explained. \"Sentients?\" Suki asked. Haji had his full attention. \"Sentients. You know... organics... and androids.\" Haji danced around the answer in a teasing manner. \"You mean you have androids and robots?\" Suki said, struggling to contain his excitement. Haji nodded. \"You know, on top of the cash payment and royalties that we're willing to offer for a licence to your simulator tech... we may just be able to throw a drone in too.\" Suki's tail wags, and he begins rubbing his head into his shoulder subconsciously. \"You can design and build a drone or android however you want. But androids have a bill of rights and full sentience, so I would recommend a drone for you.\" Haji says. \"Can I get one, like, with a big barrelled chest, and a big... you know...\" Suki asks meekly. Haji smiles and nods. \"Is it, like, a faux pas to model a drone after a person?\" Suki asks bluntly. \"Yyyeah. Especially if they're still living, which is then a crime.\" Haji explains. \"Just give us a general prompt, and a lot of reference material to any real persons you have in mind so we make them, ah, legally distinct.\" He continued. \"I need to, uhh, take care of something in my room quick.\" Suki said, putting the controller down and walking to his room. Haji just smiled.\n\nThe following day, Haji slides a book toward Suki. He picks it up. \"The Preservation Act: How Ergon's most... important... law was formed.\" Suki reads stiltedly. Haji sits down with a smirk. Suki skims through it - he'd normally read it from the top, but Haji clearly wanted to tell him something with the book. \"So... let me get this straight. I could go to a Toyota dealership and purchase an AA?\" Suki asked. Haji smiled widely. \"Exactly right. Cars of that era aren't terribly popular, so I don't think they'd have one on display, but you'd be able to order one, and they'll have it ready in a month.\" Suki's hair stood up on end. How wild was that? A car that only had one surviving example on Earth is still being produced today on Ergon. \"Thanks to an update in the 1800s, a lot of the buildings are still what they were 200 years ago. Ergon has a very Victorian feel, despite all the new technology around.\" Haji explained. \"So, how are new buildings put up?\" Suki asked, trying to locate the update in the book. \"If a natural disaster or other accident damages a building, then the residents will vote on whether they want a new structure or a replica of the old one.\" Haji replied.\n\n\"So... what does a place like San Francisco look like? After the 1906 quake?\" Suki asked. \"City hall was rebuilt as it was, with the same going for some other structures. Quite a few 1906+ buildings are kicking around in the older districts.\" Haji replied. \"Tokyo Tower?\" Suki asked. \"It's on Ergon; the structures it replaced were not considered as significant as the Tower by the government.\" Haji replied. \"Empire State Building?\" \"The Waldorf-Astoria hotel sits at the address, but the Empire State Building was built a few blocks away.\" \"Eiffel Tower?\" \"Exists on Ergon.\" \"Sydney Opera House?\" \"Tram depot. The venue is at its original King and York Street location.\" \"Madison Square Garden?\" \"Penn Station. Like with Sydney, it retained its original location.\" \"The Imperial Hotel?\" \"1922 configuration.\" This conversation went on for some time. Suki loved The Preservation Act and thought it was absolutely brilliant.\n\nThe next day, the duo are finishing lunch. \"Has your crew told you about the Briknalla track project?\" Haji asks. \"No, I know about you building a copy of Briknalla on Earth, but I haven't heard anything outside of Brooklands being built.\" Suki replied, sopping up some remaining soy sauce with some tamagoyaki. \"Well, one of the Florida chapter members said, 'What if we put some video game tracks on New Briknalla?' We thought it was a cool idea, so we began planning where to put all of it. Meanwhile, we began the terraforming on Earth. You'll never guess what we found when strip mining the donor planet.\" Haji lead. \"Gold? Platinum? Jimmy Hoffa?\" Suki asked inquisitively. \"Groundwater.\" Haji said. Suki looked puzzled. \"For years, we thought the planet - Delta 4 - was a moon, before we discovered that it was actually a dry, barren planet. But when we began to dig into it - literally - we discovered that only the surface was barren. The planet was covered in dry, compacted volcanic ash. About 500 million years ago, every volcano on the planet went off, covered the planet in ash and plunged it into an ice age. Apparently, the planet's oceans were preserved and expanded when the ice melted.\" Haji said as Suki hung onto every word.\n\n\"You're gonna love this. We're expanding the video game track idea. We're gonna develop Delta 4 using video games as a guide. There's a lot of other fictional Earth and Ergon media that we'll feature as well. Name your favourite game.\" Haji said. \"Midnight Club II.\" Suki replied in an instant. \"Eh, okay, second-favourite.\" Haji said awkwardly. \"Need for Speed IV.\" Suki replied just as quickly - as if he had rehearsed that answer. Haji smiled and snickered. \"Have you ever wanted to drive around Landstrasse? Ride the train in Kindiak Park? Build a snowman in Snowy Ridge? Go fishing in Dolphin Cove?\" Haji rattled off as Suki's smirk grew. \"I'll have to visit sometime.\" Suki said with a smile. \"Good,\" Haji replied. \"It should be completed by 2028.\" Haji looked at the clock. \"We refuel in 10 minutes.\" It was halfway through the eleventh day when they refuelled. Haji had told Suki most of the big shocks, and the next few days were spent going over small things and cultural differences.\n\n-- Chapter 2: Völlig losgelöst von der Erde --\n\nIt was evening time, about 18:30, on day 17, when Haji turned off the roadway holograms. Suki, who was reading the Preservation Act book at a second-grade level, looked around in confusion. \"Hey, Earthling. Ready for the big reveal?\" Haji asked, looking back from the driver's seat. Suki nodded silently. \"Should be about 10 more minutes until we're within maximum safe range and need to step down to regular speed. We're already in Hypderdrive I.\" Suki sat down in the front passenger seat and buckled in.\n\nSuki said nothing, full of silent anticipation. \"Ready? Three... two... one...\" Haji counted down and deactivated the hyperdrive. The seats whirred to their fully back position in preparation before the ship decelerated. They shot forward again when the hyperdrive fully shut down. It felt like braking from full speed in a Formula 1 car. When Suki's vision returned, his eyes met the speedometer. It read 14 kp/s. Something caught the corner of his eye. A blue and green planet in the distance.\n\n\"You sure we haven't just been orbiting Earth for the last 3 weeks?\" Suki asks suspiciously. \"Does Earth have a bunch of islands in the Atlantic Ocean?\" Haji says smugly, handing Suki a pair of binoculars. Suki zoomed into the planet. The craft was surprisingly stable, so he didn't get sick using it. Haji was right, not only was Ergon's version of the Atlantic dotted with islands, but there were more large islands in their Pacific and Indian Oceans, too. The Kerguelen Islands were huge, as if the whole plateau had surfaced. Suki put the binoculars down. He had seen this planet before, in an xkcd What If? comic if he remembered rightly. \"Where are we going?\" He asked. \"World Headquarters in Sarquelle. It's about... 19:10 local time.\" Haji answered. The planet approached rapidly. \"You ready for this, kid?\" Haji asked. \"No turning back now.\" Suki said seriously. \"Do you have vertigo?\" Haji asked with the air of someone who was about to do something regardless of the answer. \"No, why?\" Suki responded casually.\n\nHaji cut the engines and fired the craft's control jets and inverted the craft. He throttled back up. Suki watched as Ergon flew past them - much slower now, 9 kp/s... 8 klicks... 7 klicks... they hit Ergon's upper atmosphere. The engines cut, and the control jets flipped the ship back forward - not fully, Haji had to scrape off speed yet. Glowing plasma licked at the craft. Suki touched his hand to the window - still cold to the touch. \"Sorry, I forgot marshmallows.\" Haji joked. Ergon got closer as the minutes passed and the speed slowly lowered. Eventually, Haji levelled the craft off. Suki saw the wings of the craft, which weren't there before the re-entry started, dart backwards like an F-14. The speedometer had switched to hours - they were cruising at about 3,000 kp/h. Haji entered a holding pattern as he slowed down and descended towards what looked like the Mediterranean Sea. The sun was just setting over the sea.\n\nThe ground was much closer now. They were flying over what looked like the Azure Coast. Haji picked up a microphone from what looked to be a CB radio. Suki couldn't quite hear what he was saying, but it sounded like he was talking to someone about locations. They came to a stop over a city on the waterfront. Suki recognised it as Nice, France. The wings retracted, and the ship flew straight downward at 100 kp/h, landing in a designated space. \"Welcome to Ergon, kid.\" Haji said as he exited the craft. \"That's it? No decon?\" Suki asked. \"No decon. We've taken thousands of samples from Earth; there's no risk to Ergon from Earth contamination - not naturally-occurring ones, at least. The risk is no bigger than that of a transcontinental flight.\" Haji closed the door.\n\nSuki grabbed his suitcases and exited the spaceship. He looked around. It didn't hit him at first. Then, he heard a jet coming into land. His eyes lit up. A Concorde was coming into land, droop snoot engaged. Suki beamed. He looked toward the terminal. A Boeing 767 was loading passengers on the tarmac. That's right. Right on the tarmac, with the use of what looked to be a Peugeot 504 stair truck. Just beyond it, some pilots were doing pre-flight checks on a DC-3. They were all emblazoned with Air France's livery, albeit with the text being in Ergonese. Suki caught up to Haji, who was walking towards the terminal.\n\n\"This place is amazing! I feel like I'm at a giant air show!\" Suki said with tremendous excitement. Haji smiled and kept walking. The inside of the airport didn't look that different from an Earth airport, aside from lowered security. The only thing the two had to do was go through a metal detector. \"Can I ask you a... big question?\" Suki says cautiously. \"Please. That's why I'm here.\" Haji says confidently. Suki looks at a departure board - which is still a split-flap display by the way - to look at the date. It read 2001 03 02. \"What does your government plan for September?\" Suki asked bluntly. Haji stopped, then turned to Suki. \"Nothing.\" Haji stated plainly and went back to walking. \"What do you mean, 'nothing?\" Suki interrogated, running after Haji and walking alongside him. \"The Gulf War never happened here. The Armenian Genocide never happened. Rome didn't conquer Europe. We've lived in peace for the last two millennia. There is absolutely no possible way that will happen on Ergon.\" Haji affirmed. \"The Americans thought the same thing.\" Suki retorted. \"Okay. Fine. You want to know what we're doing?\" Haji stopped and turned to Suki. He whispered the plan into Suki's ear - they were putting a SAM site on the World Trade Center disguised as an air conditioning unit. Just in case. \"Alright. Don't cry when you didn't learn from our failures.\" Suki threw up his hands and continued to follow Haji outside.\n\nOutside was a line of taxis coming and going. It looked like a busy pit lane at a race track. The cars were all various types, but mostly French - Citroen 2CVs, Renault 9s, Peugeots of all years, alongside some generic four-doors that Suki didn't recognise, all with strange badges. \"Are we getting a cab?\" Suki asked. \"Of course not. I'm a government man, and you're the most important guest we've ever had. Actually, you're the first!\" Haji said as what looked like a Toyota AA pulled up. It was a Toyota AA, in fact. It looked exactly like the one Toyota had built in 1987. Suki was frozen. Despite his Einstein-level IQ, Suki was completely dumbfounded. He looked at the car like a caveman would look at a 3D printer. He didn't even notice the driver take his suitcases and put them in the antique trunk. He snapped out of it when Haji told him to get into the car, and so he did.\n\nThe driver got in the car and began driving. Suki instinctively put his seatbelt on. Wait... a seatbelt? In a car from 1936? And why did the engine sound suspiciously like a 2JZ-GTE? Suki would know that sound anywhere. His own car had one. Suki looked around confusedly. \"Why does this 90-year-old car have a trunk, seatbelts and a 2JZ?!\" Suki barked. \"Because this car isn't 90 years old. It was built last week. We had Tokuhi make one for you specifically.\" Haji replied. \"Didn't you say it took a month to order a car?\" Suki said accusingly. \"When Joe Schmoe orders one, yes. But when the government asks for one, they'll deliver.\" Haji said slyly. \"This car is optioned with a lot of modern stuff. Wide tyres, ABS, airbags, seatbelts, AC, CD player, obviously a 2JZ... you can order one with all the modern bells and whistles, or you can order one exactly like it was in 1936!\"\n\nSuki looked out of the window. It felt like watching a movie. He had never been here before, outside of playing Driv3r on his computer. But the vibes were exact, down to the cars driving around. 1960s microcars, 1970s compacts, 1980s lorries... was that a 1959 Cadillac? Parked in front of a Nissan Be-1? Haji had prepared Suki well, but nothing prepares you for seeing a pumpkin orange Pike car parked behind a 6 metre long pink Cadillac as you're riding in a car that only one example remains of (on Earth, at least) in a country where none of these cars should be. Well, I suppose that sole survivor AA was found in Russia, after all...\n\nWhen they got on the motorway, they experienced a common occurrence on 1980s European motorways. A six-wheeled Citroen XM with the bodywork of a van blew the doors off the AA and everything around it. \"Bloody Hollander drivers!\" Haji snapped. Suki knew about Pierre Tissier's incredible 6-wheeled newspaper delivery vans; he was autistic about cars, after all, and also knew that their drivers drove like bats with their arses on fire that had been launched from Hell on a Saturn V rocket. He also knew that... \"I thought Hollander went bankrupt.\" Suki said, confusedly. \"Not here, they didn't. Ergon loves print media, remember? I mean, people still send telegrams. And not with that stupid phone app.\" Haji said confidently.\n\nSuki looked at the AA's speedometer. 120. Huh. In a tin can from 1936. Ah. \"Don't you think we're going a little too fast?\" Suki asked. \"He doesn't speak English. Try to ask him in Ergonese.\" Haji quipped. \"Are too drive you feast?\" Suki said in Ergonese bad enough to break glass. The driver must have thought he was retarded, or had packed away some booze from Earth, and they made him drink it all before entering Ergon. The driver rolled his eyes. He spoke in perfect Ergonese. He said something about this road being \"unlimited,\" which matched a sign that whizzed past - it was a German no speed limit sign. Somehow, the conversation happened, despite Suki's complete inability to speak the language without sounding like a toddler and the driver's thick Froeush accent. Froeush, that's where they were, according to the signs Suki had read.\n\nSuki watched the scenery and exotic, alien cars pass by as they drove through the night. \"Are all roads unlimited here?\" Suki asked. \"Only motorways, really. Jaekip has the same sign but with blue lines. America has it on a rectangular sign emblazoned with 'NO SPEED LIMIT.\" Haji explained. \"Man... the HERO Racers guys would love this place.\" Suki says to himself. Eventually, a road sign went past. Suki recognised the text; it was a \"Welcome to Sarquelle\" sign. They weaved their way through Sarquelle - it's a very tiny country, the Ergonian version of Monaco - and drove to the World Headquarters, located at the southwest corner of the country on a natural rock peninsula. The AA pulled up in the plaza. They had literally rolled out the red carpet. Suki got out. The driver got his bags for him, and Haji followed.\n\nThe three entered the palace. The AA driver took Suki's bags to a suite in the palace. The duo approached two large doors. \"Just so you know, Worl Lenthan is a bit... of a character.\" Two guards opened the doors. \"So ya... thought ya... might go to the show?\" The man in the chair said sing-song in English. He swung around to face them, a small dragon in his lap. It was Worl. \"Feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow?\" Suki smiled confusedly. Worl slowly reached his hand out for a handshake as if he was defusing a bomb. Suki shook his hand gently. Worl sighed a sigh of relief. He didn't explode.\n\n\"So... Suki, right?\" Worl asked in a normal voice, swinging his arm. Suki nodded quietly. \"These Earthlings don't talk much, do they?\" Worl said to Haji. \"He's shy around new people.\" Haji whispered back. \"Very well!\" Worl said grandly. He set his hands flat on the table, unsure of what to do next. Haji mouths something. \"Oh! Right!\" Worl says. He produces a contract on a clipboard. It's printed in English. It's a licencing agreement. \"Is Ergon law the same as Earth law?\" Suki asked plainly. \"More or less, although copyright has a shorter duration - 50 years with 25-year extensions available. Otherwise, it's the same, at least regarding to inventions and patents. If you're working with music or cars, things are different.\" Haji explained as Suki signed the document while reading it. Suki loved reading legal documents. He could probably pass the bar if he cared enough. The agreement was solid.\n\nSuki slid the agreement across the table, followed by the hard drive. \"I'm still not sure if you'll be able to make it work without the proprietary chip, but I have faith in you, considering you made an RV survive re-entry.\" Suki said to Worl. \"I like your attitude, Suki!\" Worl said, pointing at Suki with the fervour of a car salesman who had recently undergone shock therapy. \"This is a very important day in Ergonian history, Mr Kaede! Thousands of lives could be saved! Or, at the very least, we'll have one or two new motorsports series born from it. One of the two! Just imagine, Haji, a second season of the ARL in a year, taking place in video games!\" Worl booms. \"Can... you even do that?\" Haji asked. Suki nodded as if he had just been asked if he was enjoying his ice cream. Worl slammed the table and stood up with a huge grin, causing the dragon to flap its wings and land on a nearby perch. \"Wait until Ketarca hears about this! We've never been able to afford more than 12-14 races in a year, but now we can have a whole other season in the virtual world. Imagine it, Haji! The racing series with the power-ups of Carmageddon, in Carmageddon!\" Worl guffawed. \"What's the ARL? Sounds interesting.\" Suki asked innocently. The smile disappeared from Worl's face, before it came back as a Cheshire grin. \"Taykoni, book a meeting between Ketarca Thuioxca and Mr Kaede tomorrow at 12:00,\" Worl said confidently. \"Any further questions, Mr Kaede?\" Worl sat down and asked calmly. \"If I think of anything, I'll give Haji a ring.\" Suki replied, stood up, and bowed.\n\nSuki went to his suite in the palace. All of his belongings were lovingly unpacked. He grabbed his laptop. It had a sticky note attached to it, written in English. It was instructions on installing an Ergonian web browser on your computer. \"Haji?\" Suki asked. Haji leaned into the room. \"Can I trust this USB drive?\" Suki said, holding it in his hand. Haji walked over and inspected it. \"Yep. It's got the official government engraving. That should be the ErgoWeb browser. We're not sure if you'll be able to connect to the Ergonian internet using an Earth computer--\" Haji explained until Suki interrupted him. \"Give me the source code. I'll see if it works raw.\" Suki said as he signed into his laptop and plugged the thumb drive in, along with a provided USB wifi antenna. Haji went to get the source code. The browser had been installed. It seemed to be working - the internet access icon had a gold star on it. He opened the network selector, selected the palace's private wi-fi and input the passcode. After a tense couple of seconds, it connected. He opened the browser, which ran on a modified version of Netscape Navigator, which already had four bookmarks. Suki texted Haji (using an Ergonian \"digital communicator\" that Haji had provided) that it had worked. Suki found the settings and switched to English. The bookmarks were ErgoSearch, ErgoView, ErgoWiki and ErgoBuds. He clicked on ErgoWiki and navigated to the main page. It looked exactly like Wikipedia, but... different. Liminal. Much like the rest of Ergon. It felt dreamlike, like a long-ago memory. He looked at the news. He was in it.\n\nSuki clicked on the article, which was named \"2001 Earthling visit to Ergon.\" Haji walked back in. \"Remind me to publish my trip journal so you guys can cite it.\" Suki smiled and looked at Haji. \"You think that's cool?\" Haji turned on the television, which was a large, widescreen CRT. Suki heard clips and phrases in Ergonese as the tubes warmed up, before Haji switched it to the English broadcast. It was the news. \"The young man from Earth arrived safely on Ergon earlier this evening, shortly after 19:00. His name has not yet been released to the public, but he was seen with a man from the government at...\" The newscast showed photographs of him and Haji walking through the airport earlier. Suki had never seen himself on television before. What a wild experience he'd had so far. It wasn't even close to being over.\n\n\"Hey, uhh, is there any chance I can access Earth's internet here?\" Suki asked Haji. \"Technically, only the government can access it. But, you're basically an unofficial member of the government, so...\" Haji said, stroking his chin. \"Give me your IP address.\" He requested. Suki searched \"whats my ip address\" on ErgoSearch. Haji looked at the numbers - they were in a different format than an Earthly one - and wrote them down. \"Now, your computer's BIOS serial number.\" Suki opened the command prompt and brought up the serial number in less than 10 seconds. Haji wrote it down. \"I'll whitelist you.\" Haji said as he went to do that.\n\nHaji texted after a few minutes. \"Should be good now\", the text read. Suki clicked on the internet access icon and clicked the only selection available to the computer's standard wifi card. Haji walked in. \"We already have DTN to Earth. So it should load instantly. Just be aware, if you send something to Earth, it'll take a few minutes to get there, so instant messaging between planets is a foregone conclusion.\" He explained. \"I know what DTN is, Haji.\" Suki said with a smirk as he wrote to Kit, Sunny and Jeanie. He wrote about how he was safe on Ergon and was getting exclusive access to Earth's internet, being sure to mention the latency. He clicked send. A \"message sent\" notification popped up. It was sent alright - sent in the same way a homing pigeon would be sent.\n\n\"We are working on eliminating interplanetary latency - or at least reducing it to a terrestrial level - half a second of lag would be a miracle.\" Haji explained. \"How the heck are you gonna do that?\" Suki asked sarcastically. \"You're so up in arms about your sim not working without that chip, yet you have enough faith in us to make it work. So why couldn't we figure that out?\" Haji said with a salesman's smile. \"If you can figure out how to make a digital signal have hyperdrive, then you're in business.\" Suki said, which made Haji's smile disappear. That's a great idea. \"Go get some sleep. I have some... meetings to attend to.\" Haji said and left. Suki switched the news to the Ergonese broadcast. Maybe he'd learn something while sleeping.\n\n-- Chapter 3: You're a God --\n\nSuki woke up the same way one would in the hotel room on their vacation, but it was made all the more liminal by the fact that he was on another planet. He went about his morning routine as normal. There was a holographic alert sign - an exclamation mark in a triangle - on a metal box by the door. The box was the same kind as a library drop box. Suki opened it. There was a set of car keys, one for the ignition and one for the trunk. There was a dealership-style tag on it. It belonged to the AA.\n\nSuki left the palace, and the valet retrieved the car for him. He got in and drove to the opera house. A man with an ARL-branded polo guided Suki to a private suite in the hotel. It overlooked the marina and had a large, widescreen CRT at one end. A curvaceous fox woman wearing a dress with a plunging neckline, a halter top and a bottom that resembled a loincloth rather than a dress. She looked older, probably mid-40s. She had a glass of grape juice in her hand - definitely grape juice, Suki would have smelled it if it were wine. She wore glossy red lipstick and had dark blue eyeshadow, with eyelashes long enough to land a plane on. She was clearly someone used to using her sex to get what she wanted. That would not work on Suki. He bowed to her and sat down.\n\n\"So, you're that Earthling boy.\" The woman said with a predatory emphasis on \"boy.\" This woman is the one Worl mentioned last night, Ketarca. She had a deep, raspy voice that would bring most men to their knees. She sounded like she was from America. Florida, maybe. Or whatever the Ergonian equivalent was. Not a thick drawl, but she clearly wasn't from the North or West. She was a good old girl washed clean by years of corporate life. Suki almost felt bad for her. \"And you're a chick that grew up with her family racing stock cars but could never strike it big yourself and wound up in a managerial position.\" Suki said as if he were reading a grocery list to someone. Ketarca stiffened like water from a fountain in Antarctica. His assumptions weren't exactly right, but they were close enough to make Ketarca look like her soul had just left her body. Ketarca relaxed slightly. \"Let me guess. You're a sci-fi and computer nerd with high-functioning autism who saw an opportunity to live out a sci-fi fantasy and hop on the first alien spaceship he could. You've had such a horrible experience with people on Earth because your autism prevented you from being a 'normal' person that you decided to take a huge risk.\" Ketarca stated just as plainly as Suki did when he assessed her. \"I see you are also skilled in the art of reading people.\" Suki said as he took a sip of the soda that had been placed on the table for him before he came in. \"When you have to look over a room of 20 new drivers and have to pick out who to promote based purely on vibes, you learn how to read people.\" Ketarca said with a smile.\n\n\"I came here because of what you said, and to make money. I'm sure Worl has told you about what I brought.\" Suki says. Ketarca nods with a predatory smirk. \"I haven't ever had the president of the world come to me with an idea. We could go from a 12-week season to a full 36-week schedule as NASCAR does. One championship on Ergon, one on Earth, and one... in virtual reality. Considering we just sent our two wonderboys to Earth for a 12-week season, so we could still rake in viewers even without them.\" Suki wasn't a fan of the corpotalk. \"I see you're not as enthused with it as I am. I'm guessing you haven't studied up on the ARL yet.\" Ketarca says as she grabs two remote controls - one to turn the TV on and another to turn the VCR on. When she turned toward the TV, her nipples slipped out of the side of her dress. Suki rolled his eyes. She hit play on the VCR remote. A promo for the Action Racing League - that's the \"ARL\" that was being talked about so much - played. The promo had loud metal music with crunchy downtuned guitars, a loose bass guitar downtuned to the floor, lots of turntablism, rapped vocals and snare drums that were tight enough to drive a car on. The race action looked like a mix of Full Auto, Carmageddon and Destruction Derby, presented in a full-on \"attitude era\" fashion.\n\nAudrey would have jizzed in his pants, but it did nothing for Suki. Well, maybe it did: he smirked. He saw the potential. \"I'll have to send a copy of that promo to my friend on Earth. He'd love the presentation.\" Suki said. \"I do hope you get the simulator working. I only got it working with a proprietary chip my friend made for me.\" Suki was trying to avoid stating that the chip was literally magic. Ketarca slapped the table. \"He always leaves important info like that out. Always a politician.\" Ketarca said. \"Takes one to know one, I assume.\" Ketarca's ears twitched, and she looked at him with surprise. She smirked. \"I guess. When you do this shit for as long as I have, you kind of forget...\"\n\n\"You forget what fun is,\" Suki said as if it were a confession. \"I'm a workaholic too, Miss...\" \"Thuioxca.\" Ketarca said her name, which was pronounced (th-OO-ee-oh-zha). \"That.\" Suki said with a smile. Ketarca stood up to eject the VHS from the VCR, swinging her hips. \"Ketarca, you know I'm gay, right?\" Suki said. \"Oh, shit!\" Ketarca froze and turned to Suki. Her boob slipped out of her dress. She covered her chest with her arms. \"Let me... umm... get dressed more appropriately.\" She said awkwardly. \"Fine.\" Suki said with an amused smile. She left, saying something about not reading the room correctly. Suki sat down on the couch and turned the television on, switching the feed to network television. The news was on. He looked at the remote and found the button to switch from Ergonese to English.\n\nKetarca returned and sat back down next to him. She was dressed in an ARL polo and chinos. \"Good. Now we can have a professional conversation.\" Suki smirked. \"I'm not sure if you were told, but Ergon is so quad-coded that it's rare to see someone that's truly gay.\" Ketarca more casually. \"Quad--? Oh, quadsexual. For sexes, being bisexual would mean only liking half of them. Yeah, I guess I really am Ergonian gay. Boobs don't do anything for me and...\" Suki stopped talking and did a swirling point at Ketarca's crotch. \"Fair, fair.\" Ketarca giggled. It was as if Ketarca was liberated by not having to use her sex to converse. \"I don't think we've ever even had a gay ARL driver - and that's not me inviting you to drive for us, that's just a plain statement of fact. Though if I could find one, that might be a good plotline.\" Ketarca babbled on. \"Who gives a fuck?\" Suki asked severely.\n\nEven Ketarca could sense that he rarely used foul language. That, or it was odd hearing such aggression from such a meek creature. Probably that. \"Your promo said you were one of the biggest motorsports on the planet. Who cares if the drivers are queer?\" Suki interrogated. \"Look, kid. Ratings go up when boys kiss. I've seen the numbers. Last year had a big bump in viewership because of the 'will they or won't they?' dynamic that Tyau Tenniston and Jyx Xc'torr had.\" Ketarca tried to explain to Suki. He took his laptop out of its bag and loaded up ErgoWiki. He searched Tyau Tenniston. \"Was it because of the boys kissing, or was it because Tyau was the son of two of the biggest drivers in Ergonian motorsports?\" Suki asked. The accusation hung in the air like a paper aeroplane in zero gravity.\n\n\"Well, they loved it when I hooked up with Tyau's mom in 1980. I was her crew chief and--\" Ketarca scrambled for an excuse, but Suki cut her off. \"Did they love it because girls were kissing, or because you were playing a soap opera?\" Suki said. He was reading the ErgoWiki page for all of this. \"I'm sorry, Ketarca. Maybe in another life we could have been friends. But I don't hang out with fake people.\" Suki said as he packed his laptop away and stood up, before bowing to Ketarca and leaving. Ketarca had been called \"fake\" more times than a Chinese watch, but she clearly still didn't get it.\n\nSuki's d-comm pinged as he rode the elevator. He ignored it - a rare moment for Suki. He went to his car and started it, putting the radio on. He had found an electronic music station on the drive across town. The song that was playing was a mid-tempo, spacious deep house track with reverb-doused drums and quiet synths rising and falling. A woman's voice softly sang over the instrumentation. From what Suki could make out, it was a song about change. He drove to the railway station down the road from the opera house, where the Fairmont Monte Carlo is on Earth. He parked up and got out, standing at the car's open door and looking over the marina, which he could clearly see as Le Portier was banned from ever being built on Ergon, with his long blonde hair and the drawstrings of his shorts blowing in the ocean breeze. He felt the distance from his home. As anti-social as he was, and as much as he hated Earth, it had something he was missing here: familiarity. His mood was not helped by feeling like a god due to his overworldly status.\n\nA group of cars pulled into the car park. They were all painted a variation of cool grey. Suki watched them through the car's side mirror. He didn't recognise what any of the cars were. They all got out of their cars after parking them in a neat row. Suki tended to silently watch people from a distance and observe them like this. It was a defence mechanism. One of them was a severely obese bear, and one of them was a muscular dragon whose flame tattoos matched the ones on his pearlescent greyish-blue car. Clearly an Audrey type. One was a meek, androgynous rodent-looking creature with big glasses. They had a DSLR camera. Suki liked the look of that one. The other flame-emblazoned car was being driven by a huge wolf. 6'5\", big muscles, big belly, big boobs, big... whoa. Suki liked the look of them, too.\n\nThe mouselike one put a fish-eye lens on their camera and walked toward the overlook. They were wearing a sleeveless hoodie that said \"VICTIM\" on it in red, chicken scratch Ergoense text. They wore short shorts that barely met the fishnets on their legs, which went down to their torn-up Chucks. Suki looked them over when they walked up, pretending as if he was watching a ship on the ocean. They had a package. It wasn't a big one, but it was noticeable from a side-on view. They took a panoramic photo of the city. \"Hello, my name is Suki.\" Suki said in Ergonese that was good enough for him to sound like a native speaker (albeit one from Jaekip). He offered a handshake. \"Tixi.\" The mouse responded and shook Suki's hand. It sounded like a feminine name. Dang. Suki continued to look her over, not realising the mouse was doing the same. Either Tixi had a super-baggy shirt on, or she had very small breasts. Worth pursuing. Tixi was reaching the same conclusion. The polar bear broke the tension.\n\nThe bear bellowed at Suki in a vaguely Eastern European accent as she walked over to him. It almost sounded like Svetlana. She said something about being surprised that a young man was driving a car that old. \"Rental.\" Suki said in Ergonese. His mannerisms were awkward, but his delivery was solid enough. \"Bullshit.\" The bear said in Ergonese. \"No joke. This thing has a 2JZ, AC, and a CD player!\" Suki told her. She was suspicious of him. The dragon spoke up. He sounded gayer than Suki expected. He commented that it might actually be a rental car, given it was left-hand drive, and that Suki sounded like he was from Jaekip (where right-hand drive cars were used).\n\n\"I am Zestava. You have met Tixi. This lunk is Drae, and big xcalthallpa here is Xeagan.\" The bear introduced her friends and herself. Suki looked at the dragon. Drae's crotch was flatter than his own. Dang. \"Zestava... like the car?\" Suki asked her. \"Eh, one letter off... You can call me Zest.\" She shrugged. \"Are you local? You don't sound local.\" Suki says. \"No, no. We are here on road trip. We're a pretty international club, anyway. I'm from Ruskovana, Drae is Ameuian, Tix is Jaekipian and Xeagan?\" Zestava said before looking to Xeagan. She said she was from a place called Wannadoo, but the rest of the dialogue was swear words. Suki hadn't heard any Ergonese swears before this conversation, but he was sure he had now. Some pretty severe ones, too. It had to have been Ergon's version of Australia. Suki introduced himself. He was blushing.\n\n\"So... where are you guys going?\" Suki asked. Zestava said that they were going from the Ergonian version of Gibraltar to Istanbul. \"Around the... uhh... I'm bad at places. Big boot country.\" He asked, being embarrassed by sounding like an idiot. He was great with geography, but not Ergonian geography, despite his studying of it on the trip over. \"Around Intomaccia, yes. Grellis too.\" Zest confirmed. That was a 5,000-km drive. About 0.01% of the trip Suki just made, but still really long, especially driving and not flying through space at warp speed.\n\nSuki and Tix thought they were playing it cool, but it was clear to the adults in the parking lot that they had a connection. Zest smiled. \"Come with us, we are heading to Nice for a bite to eat.\" \"He looks lonely.\" Tixi said in English. Suki's eyes darted toward her, but he pretended not to understand. He didn't want to be caught as an alien. These people were interested in him for a reason other than his technology or otherworldly status. \"Lead the way.\" Suki said. \"Let's see if that grandpa car can keep up.\" Drae said. Everyone rushed to their cars.\n\nSuki hopped in his car and put his seatbelt on just as the radio DJ announced the next track. Blood is Pumpin' by VooDoo & Serano. A hard trance classic. If Suki had to pick a favourite subgenre, it was hard trance. But the DJ announced that the song was brand-new. That shook Suki a little bit. After all, he would be only a month and a half old today in Earth's 2001. He was still first out of the parking lot. For some reason, all of the drivers turned right out of the parking lot, despite that not being the fastest way out of the country. Formula 1 does things to a person. They raced to the coastal road and into the tunnel - not Tunnel Larvotto - the original, beautiful brick archway tunnel. Suki had raced this version of Monaco countless times on a modded copy of Grand Prix Legends, but experiencing it was something else. It was like driving into a forgotten Polaroid. They followed in line to Tabac, rounding the corner to see the lack of a pool chicane ahead. Into Gazométre. Now it's a sprint to the motorway. Suki was still more familiar with the area than the others, thanks to playing GTI Club as a kid. He cut through the city's tight, ancient streets and tunnels as the others followed - ensuring they didn't lose sight of the little black car. Sunlight blinded them as they merged onto the 6007. They were in Froeush again. Suki jammed the pedal to the floor - the stock-tuned 2JZ giving everything it had. The squad of cool grey cars passed him by with an array of unusual-sounding horns. Dang.\n\nThey didn't disappear into the distance - but they still made Suki work for it. Eventually, Nice - or Naese, as the road signs said - loomed ahead, and the blue crew slowed down. They led him to some hole-in-the-wall pub in the north end of town. Ample parking, though. They weren't going to let Suki know, but this place was a dive that they chose on a whim. Dive bars still served food on Ergon, at least. They went in. The Passenger by Iggy Pop was playing on the bar's sound system. Not Suki's type of music, but it grounded him a bit. There was a 6-seat table open. Zestava took up two chairs, and Drae and Xeagan sat across from her. Suki took the remaining chair from next to Zestava, and Tixi took the one between Drae and Xeagan. They both put them on the side of the table to let them see the front door. Suki always liked doing this. It was something he picked up from Keith. Tixi, however, was just crushing on Suki.\n\nDrae and Xeagan both ordered beef taretare. Zest told the waitress to surprise her (and give her extra helpings). Suki didn't have time to think about what Tixi ordered. He just said that he'd have the same thing she was having. He didn't hear \"dmais,\" the Ergonese word for snail, so he'd likely be fine. \"What did you get?\" Suki asked Tixi. She was surprised briefly, before snickering. \"Froeush onion soup.\" It was the same recipe as on Earth, only the name had changed. The way she responded was the same way one would respond to a dog not being able to fit a tree branch through a gate. Appreciation, not condescension.\n\n\"Do your friends speak English?\" Suki asked Tixi in English, and in a whisper. She nodded and jerked her chin toward Zestava. \"I am acutely aware of your feelings for each other.\" Zest says in English, purposefully using verbosity to prevent any easy translations from the \"muscle buddies.\" \"It is of grandiose joy to see Tix having a special interest in someperson.\" Zest continued. \"Do believe I, for I experience a similar lifestyle,\" Suki said, nailing the code. He loved language, anyway. And coding. Mm. Coding. \"I simply must admit to my homosexuality... but this planet's phallused women make me feel mighty unusual sensations.\" Suki said, blushing and chuckling. He was serious, but the verbosity made him laugh. It made Zest and Tixi chuckle as well. \"Well, antlered person, I am more than willing to attempt an intimate encounter with you.\" Tixi said softly. \"Of course I would hook up with someone while speaking in code on a foreign planet. My life is just an episode of The Big Bang Theory.\" Suki quipped with a smile. Tixi and Zest looked at him strangely. The big bang theory was the basis for Ergon's secondary religion, Deithosity. Not a television show. \"Oh, I guess you guys don't have that yet. Wait a few years. You'll be reminded of me when it premieres.\" Suki continued. His smile disappeared. Ohh, crap. \"Huh?\" Zest asked. \"I said no-thing!\" Suki said in the same manner as Sgt. Schultz would on Hogan's Heroes. It garnered a laugh from everyone at the table. Drae and Xeagan didn't know the context; all they knew was that Zest said \"huh\" followed by Suki quoting an old TV show.\n\nThey conversed about life, cars, and everything. Drae mentioned his car has an \"R8\" engine. Suki was confused briefly before remembering the Audi R8 LMP car. He became more confused when Drae mentioned upgrading \"both cranks.\" A dual-crank V8 is impossible. Suki's confusion didn't go unnoticed. Tixi took his hand. \"Feeling alright?\" She mouthed. Suki frowned and shook his head. \"We'll communicate after this luncheon.\" Tixi whispered. They finished their lunch and drove to the marina. Zest distracted Drae and Xeagan with some hacky-sack. Suki and Tixi walked toward the lighthouse. They sat on the wall and looked out at the ocean. Suki took her hand. He hung his head in his other hand. \"You can tell me.\" Tixi said in a kind tone, putting both hands on his thigh. \"I don't want you to change what you think of me if I tell you.\" Suki said. He was almost crying. Tixi put both of her hands on his shoulders. \"I like you, Suki. Unless you're a terrorist or something, my opinion of you will be the same.\" She affirmed.\n\n\"I'm... from Earth.\" Suki admitted. A tear rolled down his face. Tixi's eyes widened, and she got a big, open-mouth smile. \"Don't.\" Suki said bluntly. \"Right.\" Tixi snapped out of it. \"I said I wouldn't.\" She smiled and wiped the tear from Suki's face. He twitched - he wasn't used to being touched. Tixi hugged him. He hugged back. He broke the hug and took his glasses off. \"I've been feeling like everyone has treated me like...\" Suki explained, but words failed him. \"Like an alien?\" Tixi quipped. Both snickered. \"Come on. I'll take you to our leader.\" Tixi teased. They got up and walked back toward the parking lot. \"Are we still on for that... 'intimate encounter?\" Suki asked. Tixi smiled and chuckled, then touched his butt. This made Suki jolt. He was into it, but didn't expect it. \"We're staying in Sarquelle for the day, anyway. Zesty needs a king-size bed for herself, Drae and Xeagan took a queen suite, and I got a room with two separate beds and nobody to go in the second one. Not like I'd let you out of my bed.\" Tixi smirked. That made Suki melt. Who doesn't like an emo power bottom?\n\nThe crew drove to the hotel in Sarquelle. Suki still hadn't read his text messages. And he wasn't about to. The crew went to their rooms, which were all within a few doors of each other on the same level. Tixi put the do not disturb sign on the door handle. She wasn't wasting any time. She stood at the foot of one of the beds. Suki was about to ask her to remove her shirt in the kindest manner possible, but she was already there. She slid her hoodie off and tossed it aside. She waited to let Suki take her in. She wasn't quite as flat as a board... more so as flat as a dinner plate. Suki stared at her chest with hunger. His eyes traced her body downward. Her tummy wasn't tight, but she didn't have much of a belly, either. A trail of pubic hair led downward from her navel. She unzipped her shorts and entered a wide stance. Distressed denim hit the floor, clutching a neon pink thong inside. Her penis was small and flaccid, with a natural foreskin, with an opening that showed her cockhole and a little bit of her head. She took off her shoes.\n\n\"The fishnets and glasses stay on.\" Suki said plainly. Tixi snickered. Suki was still dressed but clearly fully hard under his shorts. Tixi approached him slowly. He remembered that he wasn't just there to watch and unzipped his shirt and took it off. Tixi got on her knees and pulled Suki's shorts and underwear off, resulting in a string of pre flicking onto Tixi's face. She licked it up and took Suki by the shoulders. She put him on the bed. He got up onto his knees. She crawled into bed and started kissing him. She was a good kisser. Not as good as Colin, but a lot better than Keith or Audrey, who just tended to put Suki's entire muzzle in their mouth instead of actually kissing him. In fact, this was Suki's first time with another prey animal. Suki's tounge straked over Tixi's buckteeth as their erect cocks poked at each other. They were a similar size, the size a more insecure man would desperately call \"average\" despite being completely wrong.\n\nSuki broke the kiss. \"Are you clean?\" He asked. Tixi looked at him weirdly. Not guilt, but legitimate confusion. She smelled her armpit; her hair was already matted with sweat. \"Bleugh!\" She vocalised jokingly. \"A little musk never hurt anyone.\" She said and tried to kiss him again. Suki pushed her away. \"Do you have any condoms on you?\" Suki asked. She laughed. \"I know you're not from around here, but you can't get a deejer pregnant!\" \"Do you have an STI?! Yes, or no?!\" \"I don't own a Subaru, no.\" Suki grabbed his head in frustration and layed back on the bed. Tixi loomed over him with a smirk. \"Sexual disease doesn't occur on Ergon.\" \"Why didn't you tell me that, then?\" Suki laughed in relief. \"Because...\" Tixi leaned in. \"You're easy to get wound up.\" She kissed him and stroked his member.\n\nSuki wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in. They cuddled and felt each other up. Tixi worked Suki over, eventually bringing his butt up to her crotch. She slid her cock into his ass and humped him rhythmically. The sex wasn't great, but the intimacy really made Suki relax. He melted into her thrusts. She continued thrusting for a bit before pulling out. Suki turned around and made out with her. Both began to apologise for not being able to perform, talking over each other. They laughed. \"Let me guess. You're used to being a bottom, too?\" Tixi nodded. \"This is my first hook-up... I guess I'm nervous.\" Suki admitted. Tixi kissed him. \"Don't worry. This is my third.\"\n\n\"I wouldn't worry about it. We're just a couple of teens still.\" Tixi reassured him. \"Wait, how old--\" Suki said before Tixi interrupted him. \"Don't worry, I'm 16!\" Tixi said with a smile. Her eyes widened, and her smile disappeared as she felt Suki cum on her torso. \"Uh... oh. That... I don't... like... kids. That's... weird.\" He muttered awkwardly. \"Well, your dick seems to like them.\" Tixi said in a predatory manner. \"How old are you?\" She interrogated with a toothy grin. \"Tw... t... 25.\" Suki spat it out. Tixi moaned and came on his torso, shuddering. She kissed him and hugged him, smearing cum between them. They had okay output, considering their sizes. \"Just remember. Age of consent here is 15.\" Tixi smiled. \"How come I feel like I just invented a sex tourism clause?\" Suki said. Tixi laughed. \"Let's get cleaned up.\"\n\nThey got into the shower and started cleaning off. Suki was looking for the right words about confronting his own pedophilia. He was in denial for many years, I mean, he liked three types. Musclebros, thicc femboys, and teen boys. \"Look, Suki. If you like kids, you like kids. No sense in stopping yourself. Just as long as you keep it private - I know how authoritarian Earth's laws are - you'll be good. You strike me as the kind of guy who knows how to hide his online activity from the government anyway. And... I won't tell.\" Tixi said and gave him another kiss.\n\nThey woke up tomorrow morning in the same bed, nude and clean. Suki ran his hand down Tixi's body. That wasn't Colin's body. It was too compact. He opened his eyes. Tixi groaned and opened her eyes. \"Hey, Earthling.\" Tixi said and smiled before giving him a peck on the lips. \"Never thought I'd ever wind up with a girl.\" Suki replied. \"Well, I'm not a girl. Not an Earth girl. I'm a dej, after all.\" Tixi said with a wink. They got out of bed and got dressed. Suki finally checked his phone. He had two unread messages from Haji. The first one said, \"Big news!! Meet me at the palace.\" The second one, sent five hours later, read as follows: \"No problem if you need some time. :) Space travel is stressful. Text me if you need anything.\"\n\n\"Hey, sorry to hit-and-run, but I have some... alien things to take care of.\" Suki said. Tixi snickered. \"Don't feel bad about it. We don't have those hang-ups here. Casual sex is as common as taking a girl out for lunch.\" Tixi said. She led Suki to Zest's room. She knocked and called for Zest, but she wasn't there. Zest appeared out of Drae and Xeagan's room and called Tixi. Tixi and Suki went into the room. Drae was going over their route for the day with a map. Zest was packing up. Xeagan stood at the foot of the bed that Drae was sitting on-- whoa!\n\nSuki's eyes darted to it. Xeagan's dick was hanging out of her undies. That thing was big. It fell to her knee and was as thick around as Suki's thigh. It looked exactly like a canine penis, but it had no knot, and it had a flaccid look to it, as if there was no baculum. \"Morning, sunshine.\" Xeagan said in English. Suki was frozen, his fur bristling. Tixi elbowed him. \"I just wanted to say...\" Suki cleared his throat and began speaking in Ergonese. \"I want to say, 'It was nice meeting you.' I have a meeting. Can we meet later?\" He asked. \"Of course!\" Drae said in English. The musclebuddies were none the wiser; they just thought he was special needs. \"And remember to add us on ErgoChat!\" Tixi said. Suki nodded and left. \"Was it good?\" Xeagan asked Tixi. \"The sex was mid, but man, is he a good cuddler.\" Tixi replied.\n\n-- Chapter 4: Catching Rays --\n\nSuki started the car. The radio DJ said something about the next artist possibly having a full-length album, following the success of this song, later in the year. Lady (Hear Me Tonight) by Modjo played. Suki laughed and started driving. He was getting used to the retrofuturism of Ergon. He sang along to every word and bobbed along to the song, which was an all-time classic for him, and a huge summer hit on Ergon.\n\nHe pulled up to the palace and gave his keys to the valet. Haji met him there - Suki had texted him whilst leaving the hotel the road trippers were in. Haji looked very excited. They went inside and went straight to Worl's office. \"Suki, young man, I could kiss you. As a matter of fact...\" Worl stood up from his desk. He's an athletic mountain lion with solid cream fur and short brown hair with front-swept bangs. Tall, too. Probably 6'1\". He picked Suki up and kissed him. Suki started making out with him. Worl was cool with that. Haji was a little flustered, maybe even jealous. Worl wasn't that good of a kisser.\n\n\"What was I talking about?\" Worl asked as he set Suki down. \"Right!\" He said as he snapped his fingers. \"Mr Kaede, you may have just made a significant breakthrough in interplanetary communication.\" The three sat down. \"Sometimes, you just need another set of eyes. Another brain in the bowl to spark a great idea. We never thought to apply the warp system to something so minuscule. We were so distracted with evolving Hyperdrive for ships that we never thought to do it for other stuff. You might even be able to play a first-person shooter on two different planets with data warping. Bringing you to this planet may have been the greatest decision I've made in the last 25 years of presidency.\" Suki looked at Worl with puppy dog eyes and a smile. Worl gave him a head pat and fed him a salt cube.\n\n\"I've also called you here to give you this.\" Worl put a brochure on the table. It was in English, and it was for a servant drone. Suki's eyes lit up. He thumbed through the pages. Fully customisable code. Different body types. Customisable heights and weights. Interchangeable genitalia options. Woof! Suki's heart raced. \"Take your time, son. You've got your whole vacation to decide. Ignore the prices - we'll get you whatever you want.\" Worl assured him. Suki took a deep breath and nodded. He took the brochure and put it in his laptop bag.\n\n\"Could I ask you for another favour?\" Suki asked. He was expecting a \"no.\" \"Of course!\" Worl said grandly. \"Within reason.\" Worl corrected himself. \"I was wondering if we couldn't have a chapter of our club on Ergon.\" Suki told Worl. \"Yes! I love it. Just know that we enacted a law before we contacted you that states that no Earthling may take up permanent residence on Ergon.\" Worl explained. \"No problem. We'll have Ergonians run the chapter, and with our data warps, we'll have them be a part of our meetings.\" Suki responded. \"Very good. Just tell me the location, and I'll gladly assist you.\" Worl said. Suki nodded and stood up. \"I'll text Haji with a list of potential locations if I think of any - or, better yet, you can bring me your own list.\" Suki said, facing Haji halfway through the sentence.\n\nSuki went back to his room. He put the news on TV, sat at a coffee table and created an account for ErgoChat - which was also an account for all of Ergon's other official government websites - ErgoView, ErgoWiki (he's likely to spend a lot of time there), etc. He joined the chatroom that Tixi had given him a slip for. Nobody was online - they were all out road tripping and didn't have time to get on their computer (social media/chat programs weren't put on phones on Ergon as the government believes you should just use SMS instead). Suki read the chat log. There was an option to translate them to English (and, in fact, the translation was almost perfect, including context and tone), but he kept it in Ergonese so he could learn better. This was another way of observing people. A way of managing expectations.\n\nHaji knocked and walked in sooner than later. He wheeled in a whiteboard that was covered with a white sheet. \"You work fast. Very good.\" Suki said as he set his laptop on the table, closing it. \"Call it the Ergonian spirit.\" Haji replied as he unveiled the board. It was a map that could be drawn on with an erasable marker. All of the strange islands Suki saw when they approached Ergon (and more) were there and marked with their country flags and their names in Ergonese and Latin scripts (remember, proper nouns aren't translatable). \"We call these the 'non-Earthling' islands, for obvious reasons. Well, they're kind of Earthling - their footprints resemble the underwater geology of Earth, but the topography is different.\" The way Haji spoke would make most people fall asleep, but Suki hung onto every word. He introduced the island between Ameuia (America) and Eutoia (Europe) first. \"This is Rayken. It's the most populous island of all of the non-Earthling islands and, historically, the most important. It's got the mildest climate of all the NEI's - the coasts are a southeast Japan/USA type climate and the interior is a northern Japan/midwestern USA vibe.\" Haji pitched the location to Suki. \"Though, they are having an unseasonably warm winter right now - it's been hitting 15 consistently there, even in the central areas, so you won't have to put your cold-weather clothes on.\"\n\n\"What about the Kerguelen Plateau?\" Suki asked. \"That caught my eye when we were coming in.\" \"That's Kagulua. It's similar to Iceland or Greenland, and just like those places, not too many people live there.\" Haji explained. Suki pointed to the large archipelago - it had to have been 5,600 km long - between Africa and South America. \"That's a grouping of about 15 countries. The top five islands are tropical rainforests - they're big fruit exporters there, and a lot of the fruit is native, so if you ever want to experience some unique Ergonese flavours, order from there. These middle ones, including these ones closer to the coasts, are subtropical, and the big one near Uruguay actually has a pretty hot car scene. The ones south of the middle ones, including the little ones here, are temperate and rainy. Think of it like the Pacific Northwest in America - damp, but with a good fishing industry. The bottom two, including this weird land bridge, are subarctic and are again similar to Greenland/Iceland.\" Haji said in the same tone as a college professor.\n\n\"This island, right here, is your second-best choice,\" Haji said, pointing to a massively tall and skinny island West of South America. \"This is Setrista. She's a beast of an island, with a tropical, hurricane-battered North, dry plains in the middle, and a cold, windy and wet temperate south.\" He continued. \"What about the islands to the West?\" Suki asked. \"Kagulua, but worse. The only place considered to be more extreme on Ergon than those islands is the poles. This is Erista. Temperatures barely hit 5 degrees Celsius in the summer, and its Western tip is one of the windiest places on Ergon. We once recorded a gale of 450 klicks there. It's got an ice bridge to the South Pole.\" Haji explained and awaited any further questions.\n\n\"I think Rayken might work.\" Suki smiled. Haji shook his head as if he had just pulled it from ice water. He sighed. \"You just wanted to learn more about Ergonian geography, didn't you?\" Haji smiled. Suki nodded obediently. \"Got any plans? I can get us tickets in five minutes.\" Haji asked. Suki smiled and nodded again. Haji rolled the whiteboard out and left the room. Suki got packed up and met Haji outside the palace. They got into the Toyota AA and drove to the airport in Naese.\n\nThe duo got through the airport quickly and easily, breezing through the metal detector. They walked out of the terminal and right onto the tarmac toward an Air Froeush 737-500. Suki looked like a right tourist now, head on a swivel, admiring how otherworldly this experience was on modern-day Earth. He almost had a presidential-style trip up as he ascended the stairs into the plane, being distracted by the atmosphere of the now-distant airport experience. Haji had secured first-class seats. What really mattered to Suki is that Haji got the optional in-flight wifi. That meant Suki could wind himself down with some research.\n\nThe flight was a quick one, typical of a 737, taking a little under 2 hours until touching down in Rayken. The airport was on a smaller peninsula about the size of County Kent in England. This place sure looked a lot smaller on the map. They exited the plane and headed through the airport terminal. They walked to a nearby car rental agency. Some 1970s funk rock track crackled through old speakers in the parking lot. Colourful plastic flags were strewn around the lights of the parking lot. The lot was filled with cars of all ages, types, and shapes. Not an Earthly car between them. It was rare for a car enthusiast - especially someone with the autistic particularity that Suki had - to go into something like this totally blind.\n\n\"Could I help you find something, Sirs?\" A middle-aged man in a tweed suit said in Ergonese as he approached the two. Even for 2001, he looked out of date. Suki smirked. \"I want your best sound system. Dolby, Bose, Alpine, whatever's got the most boom.\" The man nodded and went inside. \"Did I say I wanted a car loaded with explosives?\" Suki asked Haji in English, nervously. \"No, that was the correct innotation of 'nooz.\"\n\nThe man returned with a single set of keys. Suki took the keys and read the tag. It said the car was a 2001 Fujako Laurocie VIPiX. He hit the unlock button. A midnight blue four-door chirped, its four-ways blinking. The car looked like a mix of a 1990s Nissan Laurel and a late-1990s Subaru Legacy. It had boxy bumpers and aggressive ground effects. It sat on 19\" chrome rims and low-profile tyres. It looked like it belonged to a high-ranking Yakuza member, but... \"We just got that one in. 130 k's on the dial, full Dolby surround system with 6 CD changer, 18cm subwoofers in the rear shelf, 500w amp, and touchscreen mix control with customisable visualiser.\" The man explained. \"Yeah... I think we'll take that one.\" Suki and Haji went inside. The man set a waiver, contract and insurance form on the counter. Suki signed them and started to read them over, until he realised how many words there were that he didn't recognise. \"I don't speak legalese. Am I about to sign a kidney over?\" Suki whispered to Haji. He looked it over and gave a thumbs up. Suki gave the forms back over and put 800 credits - US$80 - on the counter. He was about to take them back before the man calmly put the money in the till. No credit card required. Hell yeah. Instead of charging your card, the rental companies just lock you out of the car if your time expires.\n\nSuki snatched up the keys in victory and walked to the car. He and Haji got in. Suki cranked the engine over. It roared to life with a rasp that would make E.T. blush. Wait, why did it sound like a 1960s Porsche race car? Suki popped the hood and got out, walking to the front and opening the hood after struggling to find the hood latch, as we all do. He looked into the engine bay in disbelief. His fingers danced over the intake manifold, counting the ridges. One... two... three... four, and a matching pair on the other side. A boxer 8 super saloon. Must be the Subaru DNA. Suki closed the hood and got back in the car, still flustered. He closed the door behind him. Haji smirked at him. Suki shook his head and smiled. He put his seatbelt on and put the car in gear. But first...\n\n\"Know any good techno stations here?\" Suki asked, his hand navigating the infotainment screen to the radio section. Some classical station was on. \"On the Northeast Peninsula? 107.3's your best bet.\" Haji replied. Suki swept his fingers to the right, landing on the frequency. It even displayed the station's logo. \"Does this thing have wifi?!\" Suki said to himself. \"For 800 credits a day, it better.\" Haji quipped. Wub, wub, wub, wub-wub-wub. A classic DnB snippet played. Suki brought the volume and bass up to \"MAXXX\" while leaving the other settings at the meticulous 50% setting the rental agent had set it at. The DJ in the song rapped about \"taking this night to another fucking level\" with a thick East London accent through a heavily-noisegated filter. Then it hit.\n\nThe bass ripped through the car at a relentless 130 bpm in 2/4 time. What sounded like a Juno What The effect distorted to the point of sounding like a guitar amplifier after losing an argument with a hatchet matched the bass hits as piano stabs filled the empty spaces. The car vibrated. The rear-view mirror looked like it had been smeared with Vaseline. At least two car alarms went off. The rental agent's gold tooth vibrated. Suki dumped the clutch and sped out of the lot, sliding onto the road. He was full throttle - he could see the road turn into a motorway ahead. No stop signs or speed limits. Really - the song had an AC/DC sample in it that said that. The car hit the fast lane of the motorway at 180. \"WIKKID!\" The song chimed in. Suki glanced at the radio. The visualiser was dancing like a car going over a suspension test. The song was apparently called \"Demerits\" by some DJ called \"The AA.\" Suki got a kick out of that. The song had an engine sample in the chorus - Suki couldn't tell if it was the car or the song. The DJ rapped about going 200 k's on the M4. Do you ever feel like the radio sometimes plays the perfect song? This was one of those times.\n\nSuki's driving resembled a mix of tafheet and no hesi as he broke 200 kp/h. The beautiful Mediterranean scenery blurred past. Suki downplayed how he drove around \"unpredictable\" opponents. He was carving up traffic... wait, this song has a piano solo? Wild. It sounded like it was lifted from some '70s prog rock song. Suki was locked in. Nothing but him, the car, the tarmac and the tunes. This was freedom. This is what he'd always been afraid to do back home. Well, he never had a fast enough car in Japan, and American highway patrol officers are insane. He'd been loving the music he'd heard on Ergon. This was the exact stuff he was producing in his bedroom, but this was the real deal. It got radio airplay and everything. Well, airplay outside of featuring on some speciality show at 11 PM on a college radio station. He wasn't even gawking at the weird Ergonian traffic anymore. They were just another obstacle to pass. Just another point added to the Outrun 2-style heads-up display that Suki was manifesting in the corner of his vision. This was a level of concentration Suki only ever attained when playing racing games at a competitive level. Haji was lucky Suki didn't try to fishtail boost.\n\nThe miles and music blended together. Suki was five songs deep into the trip when Haji's hand met his shoulder. \"Speed restriction on the turn onto the bridge. 120 k's.\" Suki blinked and let off the gas. He let the car coast, still cutting through traffic. He whoahed the car down to 120. He turned the music down a bit. If you went from the airport to this bridge at this speed, you'd get there in about 45 minutes. Suki had gotten in there in 25. His hands relaxed on the wheel. He let out a deep breath and held the tears back. Push the Feeling On by Nightcrawlers played on the radio. Okay, the bass could go back up. Only now did Suki notice the display also had the album art present. Sick. Suki shook his head after he realised what he'd just done. His friends back on Earth would have killed him for doing that.\n\nThe bridges were there to hop between an archipelago of smaller islands. The first bridge was a through truss with a lift section in the middle. They passed a sign saying the speed restriction was lifted. Suki let himself speed back up, about 150 klicks. \"Do me a favour,\" Suki asked. Haji sat at attention. \"Put some relaxing music on after this song.\" Suki said, which caused Haji to snicker. The Nightcrawlers track came to an end, and Haji normalised the volume and bass. He changed the radio's frequency. Some Brian Eno was playing. Suki melted into the car's plush leather seat. Everything is gonna be alright. The bridges along this stretch were all based on those around San Francisco, albeit stretched by 25% to fit the 50km gap between the island the airport was on and the mainland. The first one was a copy of the original Dumbarton Bridge, with each one separated by a small island. The designs followed the San Francisco Bay North and curved to the Antioch bridge, including the High Street, Leimert, Park Street, Bay Farm Island and Fruitvale bridges toward the end.\n\nOne of the islands looked like Yerba Buena Island. It must have been the Bay Bridge. The mainland came into view. Was... was it just San Francisco? It looked a lot like Russian Hill. They arrived in town after a few minutes. The last bridge, a 78m long replica of the Fruitvale Bridge, which was widened to four lanes, lowered them to street level. The Embarcadero lay out in front of them. The bridge spat them out where Broadway would be in San Fran. Suki came to a stop at the stoplight. The Bullitt theme song started playing over the radio. Suki looked at Haji. They smiled at each other. Suki hit the gas as the light turned green and raced to the top of Nob Hill. He had to get a good look at this place. They reached the top when the song finished. Suki parked up, and both got out to stretch their legs.\n\n\"Welcome to New Frisco.\" Haji said. \"The original city that resided here was lost in an earthquake in 1855, a magnitude 7.9. They decided to rebuild it after the newly incorporated city of San Heimos in Ameuia. They used the Earthling name.\" Yeah, Haji \"forgot\" to mention that Rayken was at the Western tip of a fault line. Suki wasn't afraid of earthquakes. He's Japanese. The only one he experienced was the 2009 Shizuoka quake, which was far enough for him to only experience it at magnitude 3 intensity, but he wasn't afraid of earthquakes.\n\n\"So... why are all the bridges so modern?\" Suki didn't really speak from experience, but he had a close friend who loved bridges. \"We had a big quake in 1945 that brought them all down. It actually destroyed a significant part of the city, too. New Frisco actually did an inverse of San Heimos' rebuild - they had a big quake in '16 - the buildings that were discarded in their rebuild were kept here, but everything else was based on post-1906 San Fran. We decided to make copies of all of San Fran's bridges.\" Haji calmly explained.\n\nThe fault line was different due to the existence of Rayken, which meant that it stretched from about 100 klicks northeast of the airport island and ended in the same place it did on Earth. That meant only the Northeast Peninsula was badly affected, though the Central Peninsula had gotten magnitude 6's before. Suki looked downtown and noticed a replica of the Transamerica Pyramid. \"Isn't that spire building from the 1970s?\" Suki asked. \"Started 1969, completed 1972 on Earth, yes.\" Haji affirmed. Suki did some math. \"Wait... how did you know a building was going to be built before it was built?\" Suki stated the obvious. Haji grinned. \"We've been keeping a close eye on your planet for a long time.\" Haji didn't elaborate.\n\n\"Do you have anything... with more trains? Or more...\" Suki asked Haji, vocalising the intro of Dueling Banjos after he said \"more.\" \"More conservative?\" Haji asked. Suki nodded. \"Well, even on Ergon, New Frisco is a pretty progressive place. I mean, it's just a copy of an Earthling city. Progressive politics on Ergon aren't the same as on Earth - the rights of all sentient beings are already held to an incredibly high standard. Instead, progressive politics are about interplanetary unity. Conservative politics lean more into the Preservation Act. Worl's a progressive politician. He was the one who sent an android to Earth, after all. You being here? That wouldn't happen under a conservative rule. Though the government pulls the strings, while the politicians lead the direction. Same as on Earth.\"\n\n\"Hmm. You guys really have been watching Earth.\" Suki said as he got into the car. Haji followed. Bodyrock by Moby came on the radio. Suki smiled at Haji. Haji knew. He had played Test Drive in the government's Earth media archives. Suki belted in and drove off when the song picked up. The bass vibrated the car again. They crested the other side of Nob Hill - apparently called Knott Hill - when the chorus played. Suki could see klicks and klicks of rolling hills beyond the city's sprawl. \"This 'video game vibe' thing? That's gonna be a daily occurrence when we get Delta 4 together. Remember, sports cars in Kindiak Park? All the NFS4 tracks will have a 1990s big beat station to listen to. We'll have government-controlled stations that match the vibes of every game.\" Haji bragged. Suki was taken aback by the scenery, but was listening. \"What about Stilwater and Steelport?\" Suki asked when he came back down to earth. \"Glad you asked. Both cities will combine the vibes from both games they're set in. K12 FM will feature a mix of DnB, house, and dance punk in Stilwater, but will be more house, glitch and dubstep in Steelport.\" Haji explained. The cities were from the Saints Row series. Suki wasn't a huge fan of the series - he didn't like the car handling - but he knew enough to know that radio station from the games.\n\nSuki pulled up at a stoplight. There were two men sitting on a nearby bench. Suki glanced over at them. They were wearing colourful arm warmers and stockings. The smaller one had high heels. Nothing else. Whoa, wait, what? Suki looked again. Yep. The smaller one, on the left, had pink hair and looked like a fox. His canine penis sat on his thigh. It looked flaccid and didn't have a knot. No way could he have had a baculum. The one on the right was a taller, muscular horse. His penis dangled over the edge of the bench. Haji wolf-whistled at the two. The car behind Suki honked. Suki drove off, and the two nude men laughed. Haji had told Suki about public nudity being legal on Ergon, but that was the first time he'd seen it in person. He looked around. There was a large rainbow painted on a building. Just as Suki had thought, they were in Haight-Ashbury.\n\n\"So, are you allowed to walk around with a hard dick?\" Suki asked. He was turned on, and his voice was a bit shaky from it. \"As long as you're not dripping pre, yeah. It's considered a natural bodily function. Those guys weren't hard, though.\" Suki did a double-take at Haji. \"The organics' penises work as feral horses do. They're sheathed if it's cold or are concentrating on something - your dick flopping out while riveting a building would be a bad time - they're flaccid when it's warm or when they're relaxed, and become hard when... well, you know how.\" Haji explained smugly. Lacking a penis himself, he didn't \"know how\" but correctly assumed that Suki did. \"So, why do canines not have baculums?\" Suki asked. The baculum is a bone inside the penises of some animals, such as canines. It prevents them from being \"floppy\" like a horse penis. \"I'm not sure. Some evolutionary thing? Biologists suspect evolution removed it when all organics were given the three-stage 'horse' behaviour.\" Haji explained. Evolution wasn't fully understood on Ergon - a lot of Earth's teachings on it fit - but the fact that evolution happened so quickly (within the first couple of hundred years) on Ergon threw a spanner in the works. And why did they stop evolving after the so-called \"Mass Evolution Event\" that saw the birth of the organics? \"Maybe you could start researching that stuff.\" Haji snickered. \"You already came up with the data warping idea.\"\n\nThe sun was starting to set when they left New Frisco. Haji opened the car's GPS. A small keyboard with a trackpad popped out. Suki did another double-take. \"Wow, that's cool.\" Suki said as Haji searched for a hotel. The GPS was a fully-featured version of ErgoMaps. \"How many stars do you want in the hotel?\" Haji asked. \"Doesn't matter to me as long as I don't have to splatter rats.\" Suki responded. His ears flicked when he said \"rats.\" He was thinking of Tixi.\n\nHaji found the two a decent hotel for a reasonable price. They checked in. Suki booted up his computer and started journaling. When he got his thoughts for the day written down, he opened ErgoChat. Before he could read the previous messages, everyone was greeting him. Oh well. \"ji\" is all he wrote. That's \"hi\" in Ergonese. The others were asking how he'd been, and what he'd been up to. \"just hanging around. decided to go to rayken\" He said as if going to another continent was something he did on the daily. \"oh? whatchya doin island hoppin\" Xeagan replied. \"never really seen this part of the world b4\" Suki responded. This was hell. He couldn't lie to his new friends, but he couldn't tell the truth either. Would they care? Suki thought they would. He was painted in a corner pretty well.\n\n\"always admire an explorer uwu\" Tixi typed. The others probably laughed, as there was a gap between messages. \"well om sure hes explored uranus already\", Drae chimed in. \"no but she did mine\", Suki typed without missing a beat. Another laughter pause. \"i like guys that are forward like that\" Xeagan said. \"dont think i didnt catch u looking this morning\", She continued. \"he looked like he was about to pass out\", Zest posted with a string of \"crying laughing\" emoticons. \"if it wasnt 4 the boobs id have started sucking\", Suki replied. The pretence was gone. \"haha fair, yeah tixi sed u were gay. kinda wild\" Xeagan responded. \"u can always just close ur eyes or i could wear a big hoodie\" Xeagan continued, followed with a flushed face emoticon. \"i luv cockworship anyway. i mean only zesty is big enuf for me 2 pen\" She was oversharing a bit now. Suki certainly didn't care. He was fantasising about being buried under that thing.\n\n\"Haji?\" Suki asked. \"Do you think... we can... sleep in the same bed tonight?\" Haji was surprised. \"Sure.\" He replied. \"Just... keep your pants on.\" Suki insisted. \"Dang. I knew I should have brought a strap-on with me.\" Haji snapped his fingers. Suki shuddered - in a good way. \"Do you need some privacy, Earthling? I'll go get us dinner.\" Haji left. Suki stripped down and started jerking off. \"r we still too much of strangers for sexting\" Suki said in the chat. Multiple people started typing, but were shut up when Xeagan sent a picture of herself masturbating. It was an older photo, but she remembered to pick one where her boobs didn't show in it. The attached message read, \"idgaf if deerfag posts it. its already public.\" Suki came on his own torso. \"thx\", Suki typed, forgetting to use Ergonese.\n\n\"whered u learn english anyway deerfag\" Xeagan responded. She wasn't trying to make Suki feel bad with the language she used, instead using it as a somewhat self-deprecating term of endearment. Endeerment? \"uni\" Suki typed quickly as he cleaned himself up with some tissues. \"oh? college is gay af. whered u go 2?\" Xeagan interrogated. Uh oh. Suki quickly opened ErgoMaps and tried to find his own hometown. \"didn't you go to college?\" Zest turned the screws. \"yea i did, for 7 months. y u think i like dick??\" was Xeagan's response. \"even little dick?\" Suki and Tixi replied at the same time. \"yes.\" Xeagan didn't elaborate.\n\n-- Chapter 5: Eyes on the City --\n\nSuki woke up the next morning while snuggling Haji. They hadn't had sex, but did sleep together. Suki was in a t-shirt and undies, and Haji was in a pair of jeans. Suki was really getting a hang of this Ergon thing. He got out of bed and put his pants on. He opened the blinds. A train station was outside. The vibe of the area was similar to that of the film Duel, albeit a bit more lush. The train station looked like it wouldn't be out of place in an old Western. Suki heard a distant whistle. He rushed to put his socks and shoes on and ran outside. There it was. A 4-8-4 \"Northern\" steam locomotive heading a ten-car passenger train. It was still in the distance and slowing down for the station. Suki quickly looked both ways and ran across the highway to meet it on the platform.\n\nHaji put his hand on Suki's shoulder when it arrived at the station. Suki wasn't big into trains, but he was mesmerised by the way the locomotive so effortlessly moved. Suki's mentioning of wanting to find a place with trains was an altruistic motive, as he was sure there would be some train nerds in the Ergon branch of the club. But he'd be damned if he didn't find this really cool. Was he crying? No, that was condensation from the locomotive's steam.\n\nThe duo packed and got back into the car. They hit the road and continued on. Haji rejiggered the GPS. The car's heads up display now showed turn-by-turn directions. \"Whoa. That's cool.\" Suki said. \"I remembered that these super-luxury GPS's are supposed to have a way to activate a readout on the HUD. I found it.\" Haji explained. Suki turned the music back up. Now he could see where he was going and still have his banging tunes.\n\nThey kept going. There was a big hill ahead. Ever since they left New Frisco, the environment had become gradually more culturally diverse. The roads and signs were European, and the buildings were the same, but also American frontier-style, and some Asian-style buildings. Suki had only begun to notice them - they were hidden by the dark last night. Leave You Far Behind by Lunatic Calm played on the radio as Suki crested the hill. There it was. The city of Dukungo. The city's population was about 45,000 in an area of about 80 km2. The train line ran right through the heart of the city and branched off in every cardinal direction from the railyard in the centre of town. It was clear that Dukungo was a very important place in Rayken's railroad history. The sign even said so.\n\nThey entered the town in its commercial district. A lot of the buildings were either Googie or mid-century modern. Diners with roller girls, grocery stores with chrome trolleys, gas stations with tons of incandescent bulbs. It felt like driving through the pages of a 1950s issue of Popular Science. The commercial district gave way to suburbs. It started with ranch houses, but the buildings got older as they got toward the city centre, which they eventually reached. Suki parked in a parking lot downtown. It was lined with small but hearty trees, proving a nice shaded lot. No need for a dashboard cover here. The lot and streets were brick. The two walked to Main Street. If it weren't for the newer cars driving around, it would have looked like it was the 1800s.\n\nMain Street was interesting. It and Broadway Avenue were the two main North/South roads in the city, and both followed the train line, with a bridge over the rail yard diamond. Dukungo has one of the highest numbers of road-rail accidents on the planet. The city had 217 grade crossings. The duo were pretty close to the railyard - the \"Quad Bridges\" could be seen, where the major East/West roads met the North/South ones over the diamond. Some streets ran under the bridges, and that's where Haji was leading Suki to. It was a teppanyaki joint right across from the yard, where a Fairbanks-Morse H-20-44 was building a train. The neon sign on the outside of the building read \"Shinkansen Skewers.\" Fitting.\n\nSuki and Haji went inside. Suki watched the shunter build the train. The railyard didn't have any big fences. Instead, it had a waist-high barbed wire fence, with the occasional sign telling people that it was railroad property and that people had better not try to hop that fence. Either people were smart enough to respect property lines on this planet, or the railroad had some intense and precise security. Suki was going to ask about it, but the chef started flinging food around.\n\nA good time was had by all, and the train had been completed. Suki and Haji walked back to the car. \"I think Dukungo is a good contender.\" Suki said. Haji shrugged. \"It's the biggest 'rail' town in the country, it has a race track, a vehicle museum, a heritage railway, and even a locomotive workshop.\" \"Does it have an arcade?\" Suki asked smugly. \"No, actually. If that's a deal--\" Haji was interrupted by Suki. \"No, that's fine. It's not a dealbreaker. It sweetens the deal, actually. Every chapter of the club has their own arcade hangout.\" He said. \"Still... I feel that it's almost too industrial. I'm sure some people would like it, but I'm not sure how many train autists we're gonna have.\" Maybe he was afraid of earthquakes.\n\nThe two got in the car. \"I getcha. It's hard to plan for what you simply don't know.\" Haji said. Suki looked at the clock. \"Is there a rental agency we can return this thing to in town?\" Suki asked. Haji pointed to the infotainment screen. \"Use the map. It's got voice command.\" Suki looked at Haji suspiciously. Suki navigated to the car's GPS. He touched the microphone icon. There was a \"beep-beep\" sound. \"Take me to the nearest Swift Rental Car agency.\" Suki said. Beep-beep. \"The nearest Swift Rental Car agency is located on Lonagondan Avenue. It is 2.12km away. Turn right out of the parking lot and continue on Main Street for 1.27km.\" The GPS said. It sounded like a Japanese salaryman.\n\n\"How did it know we were in a parking lot?\" Suki asked. It was the first time he actually heard it \"speak.\" \"The GPS gives the co-ords, and AI pulls satellite imagery and analyses the image.\" Haji explained. On Earth, artificial intelligence was very artificial and not very intelligent. \"I can see it in your eyes - when you hear 'AI' you think of that braindead stuff from Earth. Well, that was true for us at first, but after 200 years of androids, it was pretty much perfect. No hallucinations. Self-sufficient. The AI used in GPS is a lot simpler than that of androids. But android AI can evolve its own personality, its interests, fears, you name it.\" Suki had never stopped to think about how the androids' brains worked. Wow. He started driving.\n\n\"That's why the Free Android Act was signed into law. Androids were programmed to be autonomous, to be independent, to be real. Meanwhile, the drones rely more on programming than on AI.\" Haji explained. \"That's why we use the legal term 'sentient' for organics and androids. They truly are sentient. Drones, however, aren't. The AI is used for logic and adaptability, not for sentience like it is in androids.\" \"So you're saying there's a sort of... AI IQ?\" Suki asked. \"Yes - the GPS has a low-IQ AI. It only uses it to read real-time traffic data, calculate the best routes, and read the terrain. But androids would wind up using organic IQ. That's their level of sentience.\" Haji explained. \"Sick.\"\n\nSuki pulled into the car rental place and turned the car in. He patted the car's fender. The two walked to the nearest train station - it was only two blocks away. Cities on Ergon were usually pretty walkable, not by using pedestrianised design, but because of a focus on robust public transport systems. There was an entire state in Ukeiut Ameuia named after \"commuting.\" The train pulled up. It was a British Rail Class 101 diesel multiple unit with four carriages. \"Daisy.\" Suki said aloud, subconsciously. He learned to stop questioning Ergon's globalised mishmash of vehicles, culture, and architecture.\n\nThe train took them to a train station out of town. They were going to transfer to high-speed rail. Haji went to a terminal and bought both tickets using cash. The DMU pulled off as the two crossed the pedestrian bridge. It felt like a very British train station. Soon, a high-speed train pulled into the station. It looked like a mix between an ICE 1 and a TGV Sud-Est. The duo got on, and Suki grabbed a map from the holder marked \"Free maps - limit 1 per group\" in Ergonese. They sat down. Suki studied the map.\n\n\"What are the second-level administrative divisions called in Rayken?\" Suki asked. \"States,\" Haji said as he took the map from Suki, sitting across from him. \"You need to relax and enjoy the scenery, Fawnie. If you really wanna know, I'll tell you when we cross borders. The state that Dukungo and New Frisco are in is called Noreapun. The island we started on is a part of the state and is called Genesis Island, named as such because that's the first piece of land the organics reached on Rayken. You got Norpen to the North, Triclimea in between, South of that is the uncreatively-named Long State, the central peninsula is Weasauppen, South of Long State is Archilegeon, and the Southern peninsula is named Soppen.\" The train soon took off.\n\nSuki very suddenly got an eyeful of \"scenery.\" He was 172cm tall and had long, straight, dark red, middle-parted hair. His measurements were separated by quarter-metres - 75, 50, 100. His hips were a full metre around. He wore only a backpack and was unshaven and sweaty, but still smelled faintly of pomegranates and the rosewater he was drinking. His penis poked out of his fat sheath. The attraction in both was instant. Suki's penis was coming out of its sheath, too. The young man sat down next to Suki, despite 70% of the seating being available.\n\nSuki offered a handshake. \"Suki.\" The man kissed him instead. \"Gristi.\" Suki made out with him. The pomegranate smell was stronger now, but so was the sweat. \"See, Suki? Now you're grasping Ergon's sex culture.\" Gristi broke the kiss. \"Oh, no way, another English speaker?\" He asked. His voice was light, and his accent sounded like a mix of American Southern and... Frisian? \"We both are.\" Suki said. \"Y'all Jaekipians are always so smart.\" Gristi said. Finally, some discrimination Suki was comfortable with. That was a stereotype that Suki really liked - probably because he resembled it and enjoyed the praise - and he was glad to see it existed on Ergon, too. His tail wagged, and he looked at Gristi with his big, blue eyes. Gristi noticed just how excited Suki was. He played it cool. He layed back with legs spread, big balls hanging off the edge of the seat.\n\nSuki drank the rest of his water bottle. He pulled his pants down around his thighs. Gristi sized him up. He wasn't impressed, but he knew Suki would make a good fucktoy. Suki put the bottle to his cockhead and started stroking. Though public masturbation was illegal on Ergon, there was a clause: if you don't \"dirty\" up any public or private property (unless it is your own, such as this water bottle), and as long as no children were present, then it was fine. Suki was in the clear.\n\nGristi leaned in. He put his hand on Suki's chest, rubbing his hand over his nipple. \"What do you do for fun, deery? Do you go around... jacking off to cute boys?\" Gristi turned the screws. Suki's breath hitched. \"I... do computer repair. This is my vacation.\" Suki said in a whisper. \"You really are smart, huh?\" Gristi asked. His left hand met Suki's cock. His own length rested erect on Suki's thigh. His hairy chest rubbed against Suki's arm. His smell changed to something predatory.\n\nGristi's muzzle followed Suki's neck down. Then, he opened his mouth. Suki came into the bottle as soon as he felt Gristi's teeth strake his neck. Gristi chuckled lowly. \"You like being a prey animal, huh? At the mercy of any predator looking for a meal?\" Gristi bit Suki's ear. Not enough to puncture, but enough to pain. That made Suki cum again. He melted into Gristi's embrace. Gristi cleaned him up with a napkin and put the bottle in a paper bag to throw out later. His kindness earned him respect from Suki and Haji. Even if Suki... yep, he's asleep.\n\nGristi carefully pulled Suki's pants up, trying not to wake him. He took his glasses off and set them on the table. Suki stirred. Okay, maybe he wasn't asleep. But he was either close or faking it. \"So... what's your story? You normally go about biting femboys?\" Haji asked sarcastically. \"I'm Haji, by the way.\" Gristi nodded. \"Call it... me being opportunistic.\" Suki groaned softly. \"You know, I'm a boy toy. No sense in denying my destiny.\" Gristi replied. \"Let me guess, you're a Deithositist?\" Haji quipped, referring to Ergon's secondary religion: Deithosity. It's a naturist religion, believing that Ergon is literally held together with a sentient life force. \"Either I'm that obvious, or you just have good powers of deduction.\" Gristi quipped back. \"Let's see. You walk around nude, you don't shave, you use natural scents, you're drinking rosewater, and you're sweaty from hiking or running.\" Haji listed. Silence.\n\n\"Now, let me guess. You're the son of a salaryman. He either pressured you into working a white-collar job despite your desire to have a traditionally Ergonian blue-collar job, probably working on cars or electronics. You probably have a government job now, and go around touring blue-collar places on vacation as a 'I could have had this' sort of thing.\" Gristi clapped back. How did Suki keep finding people who were so good at reading others? \"For your information, I'm here on work.\" Haji slipped. \"So this man you're travelling with is 'on vacation', but you're here on business?\" Gristi looked at him sternly. Suki whispered into Gristi's ear. Gristi's eyes widened, and he looked back and forth between the two. \"Don't tell anyone.\" Suki chuckled and nuzzled Gristi's chest.\n\n\"So, where are you from?\" Haji asked. \"Weasauppen. Preztiag.\" Gristi replied. \"Mind if we tag along? That might be a good place to show Suki.\" Haji asked again. \"Fine.\" Gristi replied with a smile. \"Do you always take the train?\" Suki asked. \"If I leave the state, yes, I'll usually take the train. The HSR line branches off and forks to the north and south of Weasauppen, so if I'm going out of state, I'll drive out to the HSR line and travel out from there.\" Gristi explained. Suki really was getting the full experience of Ergon's public transport systems.\n\nSuki fell asleep in Gristi's arms. When he woke up, it was dusk. Gristi jostled him awake. \"Wake up, Earthling. We're in Weasauppen.\" Suki sat up and put his glasses back on. Haji and Suki took their bags. Haji gave Suki his map back. There was no way he was gonna read it when in the presence of Gristi. \"You guys need a place to stay? I live on the outskirts of town. I got an extra bedroom.\" \"That would be wonderful, thanks.\" Haji replied with no hesitation. On Earth, that's asking for a bad time. But Ergon was old-school. You could trust 90% of the people you meet. They got off the train. \"Here, let me take your bags, Deery.\" Gristi took Suki's luggage. They walked to the parking lot.\n\nGristi opened the trunk of his car and put the luggage in. It was a custom job - a mocha tan paint job with black flames with white ghost flame accents. There was a badge that read HX8 on the front fender. Suki got in the front seat, and Haji got in the back. There was a script on the dashboard that read \"Calica.\" Suki and Haji belted in, but Gristi did not. The car didn't have a seatbelt chime or indicator. He turned on the radio, which was tuned to an alternative station, and drove out of the railway station parking lot and headed home.\n\nThe sun set as they drove out into the countryside. It was a short drive, well, shorter than Suki and Haji had travelled in the last two days - about 50km. Gristi pulled into a long driveway which led up to a ranch house. He parked the car in the carport, and everyone got out. Gristi took the luggage out of his car - both Haji and Suki's. He unlocked the front door of the house. The decor was very rustic - oh. Gristi had a twelve-point buck mounted above the fireplace. Suki's breath hitched - he wasn't sure if it was in a good or a bad way yet.\n\nGristi put the luggage into the guest room. He slid his backpack off and sat on the couch. Suki sat next to him. Haji went into the guest room. Gristi put the TV on. It was a sports recap show. \"Hope you... uhh... don't mind the decor.\" Gristi said awkwardly. Suki was breathing heavily. He sighed and stood up. He took his clothes off. Gristi traced Suki's hips and sat him down in his lap. Suki could feel Gristi's hair down his back. Both became hard. \"I'm down for sex, or just to cuddle. Up to you.\" Suki said. Gristi layed down, rolling Suki to face him. He kissed him. Suki put his glasses on a nearby table. He took in Gristi's musk and nuzzled his surprisingly soft chest hair.\n\n\"How'd you get here, kiddo?\" Gristi asked. \"Spaceship.\" Suki snickered. \"Some of my friends had first contact with an Ergonian government android. They've been planning to reach out for... how old are you?\" Suki asked. \"25.\" Gristi replied. Suki sat up and looked him over. \"No way are you 25. I'm 25.\" Suki laughed, and so did Gristi. \"I wouldn't have thought you were over 17.\" Gristi told Suki. \"Yeah, I swear, I haven't aged a bit in the last decade.\" Suki lowered himself back down, now sidesaddle with Gristi.\n\n\"They wanted one of us to go up here to test the waters. I miss my friends on Earth, but I've met some good people here. I haven't had a single negative encounter the whole time I've been here. That's a record for me.\" Suki spoke as if it were a confession. \"People here are good. I mean, if Earth is as ornery as they say, I'd never sleep at a stranger's house.\" Gristi reiterated what I said earlier. \"I just feel guilty about sleeping around.\" Suki admitted. \"Don't. That's just how we are here.\" Gristi soothed Suki. \"I mean, my body count has almost doubled in the past two days.\" Suki said. \"So? Who cares as long as you feel good?\" Gristi stroked Suki's hair. He was right - you can't get pregnant being gay (unless you really try), and Ergon's lack of venereal diseases made hedonism safe.\n\n-- Chapter 6: Saints and Scrappers --\n\nThe two woke up on the couch together the next morning. Suki was awoken by a big squeeze from Gristi. They took a shower together. When they dried off, there was a knock at the door. \"Come in.\" Gristi said as if he was expecting them. \"Uncle Gristi!!\" Two children, one about 8 years old and the other about 6, shouted in Ergonese and ran to hug Gristi. They were offset from center for obvious reasons. Suki had gotten dressed. \"Hey, sis.\" Gristi said and kissed the woman that was with them on the cheek. She looked the same age as Gristi.\n\n\"Don't tell me you took in another foster kid, Gris.\" She said, looking at Suki. \"Hey! I'm not that short!\" Suki retorted. \"This is Suki. He and his friend are out touring Rayken, so I thought I'd show them around.\" Gristi said to his sister. \"Oh, that's wonderful. Well, we're taking The Horseshoe to see Grandma. We just wanted to stop by.\" \"No problem. Great seeing ya.\" Gristi hugged his family. They left. \"Explains how you're so gentle.\" Suki muttered to Gristi in English. \"Eh, their dad is kinda in and out of their lives, so I've been like a second father to them.\" He replied, but didn't elaborate. \"I'm gonna get dressed, just so you're not thirsting all the time.\" Gristi nudged Suki and went to his bedroom.\n\nThe trio filed into Gristi's car. He took off toward the city. The drive over was short, about 10 minutes, but the scenery was great, and the rolling hills meant you kept focused while driving. The \"Welcome to Preztiag\" sign went past. Then a gentleman's club. Suki's gaze locked onto it. The sign indicated that it was for sale. \"Never seen a gay man look so intently at a titty bar.\" Haji quipped. \"One man's trash is another man's treasure. Say, Gris, is there an arcade in town?\" Suki asked. \"Nope. Only county in the state to not have one.\" Suki looked back at Haji and smiled. That was his \"devious plan\" smile. If there wasn't anywhere else, Preztiag was the place they would build. Gristi put the indicator on. To the right was a brutalist brick garage with a flag-lined lot of used cars out front and a scrapyard out back. To the left was a mid-century modern car museum. Ironic.\n\nGristi pulled up to the gate and honked twice. A muscular woman with long hair walked out. She was only wearing baggy cargo pants and boots and had grease stains all over. Her breasts were small, but still big enough to sway. \"Hey, bud!\" She said in Ergonese as she leaned in the car's window. \"Here for another inventory check?!\" She said excitedly. Her accent was hard to pin down. Maybe Canadian plains meets Appalachia? \"Who're your friends?\" She asked. \"Suki and Haji.\" Grist introduced the two. \"Couple of Jaekipian tourists I met on the train. Thought I'd show 'em around town. This one's gay.\" Grist whispered. \"Oh! Shit. Sorry.\" The woman stood up straight. \"Well, I guess I got somethin' for ya, then.\" She unzipped her pants and pulled her underwear down. Her penis was about 16cm and had a long, thick foreskin. \"Not bad.\" Suki said.\n\nShe walked out of her pants and opened the gate for Gristi. \"Well... that's gonna be another definition of an alien 'third encounter.\" Suki said in English. The whole car laughed. The woman put her pants back on and got into the car. Gristi drove into the scrapyard. It looked much like an Earthly one, but the cars were twisted and torn. \"What's your name?\" Haji asked. \"Javalynn.\" \"Are some of you guys just named for things in English?\" Suki commented to no one.\n\n\"So, uh, how do Ergonian scrapyards work?\" Suki asked. \"Most cars on Ergon are considered repairable. Flood damage? Repairable. Front end smashed in? Repairable. Rollover damage? Probably repairable. There's a high requirement for how damaged a car needs to be to be scrapped, especially considering that you can scrap a car on Earth if you feel like it. Basically, you take a car to its dealership or a government-approved garage - like Jav's - if you think it should be scrapped. It then undergoes a 17-step inspection, usually overseen by a government-employed scrutineer. If approved for destruction, it'll be sent to the nearest scrapyard. Then, people have one month to come here and scavenge parts. After that period, a certified technician from the vehicle's manufacturer will come out and retrieve any remaining good parts. Then, pssh, it gets recycled.\" Haji explained with a crushing gesture.\n\n\"Crushin' 'em is fun,\" Jav said in English. \"Wanna try?\" \"Since when did you speak English?\" Gristi asked Jav. \"I'm not even sure if I said the right thing.\" Jav laughed. \"You said you want me to crush a car.\" Suki said. \"Okay, good, still got it.\" Gristi parked. Suki and Jav got out of the car and into a crane. It was a diesel-powered unit, probably from the 1930s. \"You don't have any magnetic storage devices on your person, right?\" Jav asked. \"Nope.\" Suki replied. \"Alright. This is your left track and this is your right. Push both forward to go forward, and one forward and one back to turn. You rotate the cab with this, and this puts the arm up and down. This big red button turns the magnet on and off.\" Jav explained the controls. \"Got it.\" Suki replied. Jav gave him the keys. He turned the crane's engine on. It rumbled to life and belched black smoke. It vibrated the whole machine.\n\n\"Shoot the gap between those cars. Look for ones with orange X's on them. Those are ready for the crusher.\" Jav instructed as Suki drove the crane down an aisle. He spotted one ahead. He stopped the crane and lowered the magnet onto some generic 1970s gold-coloured four-door before activating it. The magnet whirred to life, and the car jolted. He lifted the crane's arm up, carrying the car with it. The car's body and frame were twisted, and only the body panels remained. Suki carefully placed the bent car on a conveyor belt. The conveyor took the car into a metal tunnel where it stopped. A large hydraulic press flattened the car. The conveyor belt turned back on automatically and spat the car out onto the ground behind the crusher. \"Wow, you're pretty good at this!\" Jav remarked. \"Many hours spent in sim games. Nobody tell Keith I'm doing this.\" She didn't know who Keith was, but his secret was safe with her.\n\nSuki drove the crane back to the row of cars. \"Hang on!\" Jav said. Suki stopped the crane. She hopped out and pulled orange spray paint from her pocket. She marked a white four-door with an X. Despite X not existing in the Ergonese alphabet, it was still used for multiplication and as a marking. The car she marked was in remarkably good shape. Perfect, except for a smashed-in front end. It looked like a late-model Ford Falcon. \"You sure that one goes?\" Suki shouted from the crane. \"Yeah. It's got a D-Licence.\" A destruction licence! Now it makes sense. Destruction licences can be issued to any new vehicle that is purchased outright or traded for at a dealership. It ensures more violent motorsports can be held while not destroying potentially historic vehicles. One of the 17 steps during scrapping is checking if a vehicle is historic - you don't want to scrap the first car a famous rockstar owned, even if he wrapped it around a telephone pole in 1986.\n\nJav hopped in the crane as Suki picked the car up and crushed it. The next car made Suki literally stop dead in his tracks. It was a cherry red 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air. It had a poorly done flame job and had a bent frame and body. Jav could tell Suki was hesitating. \"It's a '94 build. Some idiot rich kid had it as his third car and tried to re-create that scene from The Blues Brothers.\" Well, that lessened the blow. Suki picked it up and put it in the crusher, but both looked away when it got crushed. Some people shouldn't have nice things. \"You wouldn't lie to me, right?\" Suki asked Jav quietly, barely audible over the machines. \"No. I make a living off of being honest. I don't lie to people. Plus. The government wouldn't have ever let an actual '50s car be scrapped unless... well, unless it looked like that one.\" Jav said, pointing to another white car marked with an X. It looked like a roadster that had been bent into a triangle shape.\n\n\"Fatal.\" Jav commented. It should have given Suki chills, but it didn't. He was too disconnected from people for it to register. He put it in the crusher. Next was a strange one - only a bent frame, covered in dozens of small orange X's. \"That was a fun one. That truck came from one of the coastal towns in the state. Guy lived right on the waterfront.\" Suki picked the frame up - it audibly snapped. \"We got a snapper!\" Jav cheered out of the cab at Gristi and Haji. \"Anyways, guy had already took every other part off the thang and left only the frame and about 100 kilos of odds 'n' ends - which was picked over by the vultures within a week. You can skip the crusher and put it right on the pile.\" Suki did as instructed.\n\nThere was only one marked car left. It looked like some 1980s fastback that had been in a demo derby. It was rattlecanned black with neon green racing stripes and wheels. It was so beat up that the vultures left the wheels on it, and not even the manufacturer wanted them back. Whirrr... CLINK. Suki took it to the crusher. \"Alright. You be a 'deer' and wait here. I'm gonna bring the flatbed around.\" Jav hopped off the crane and ran to a truck parked nearby. Suki wasn't good with trucks, but it had to have been from the 1970s. Suki manoeuvered the crane next to the crusher. The crusher had shut down - it was equipped with a pressure sensor to save on fuel. Suki helped Jav back the semi up and then loaded it up with the crushed cars. \"I'll strap 'em down later. We can go back to the entrance now.\" Suki got into the big rig, and Jav drove to the entrance. They disembarked. Gristi was chatting with Haji, before he turned to Jav.\n\n\"That's a good pick right there, Gris!\" Jav said, pointing to the car he was standing next to. \"Thing got a DL in '87 but was never used. It just rotted in a field. If you can get the rust off the thang and re-do the wirin', she'll be a brand-new car. It's yours for... hmm... seven and a half.\" The car was a sporty-looking 5-door fastback, somewhere between an Audi quattro and a Honda Accord. It was only missing a headlight and side mirror - vulture pickings. Gristi produced a 5,000-credit bill, two 1,000-credit bills and a 500-credit bill. \"I'll get you wrote up and get you a title. Want me to throw out the DL?\" Jav said to Gristi. Gristi said yes. Suki's mind was blown. You could buy cars that had D-Licences? Not only that - you could buy cars from scrapyards?! In current year?! And swap frames like it was nothing?? Stop selling. Suki was already in love with this planet.\n\n\"Y'all two head next door. I got paperwork to do.\" Jav told Suki and Haji. They bowed and said thank you. They walked across the two-lane highway to the museum next door. \"I think I'll have my drone order in by tonight, barring any unforeseen consequences.\" Suki told Haji in English. \"Well, we don't have any government research facilities trying to open portals to other worlds, so we should be okay.\" Haji got the door for Suki. Suki thanked him, and both went inside. The entrance was flanked by checkerboard floors and a variety of cars. Ten on the right, ten on the left, separated by a 5 metre space down the middle. They even had a small aeroplane hanging from the ceiling. \"Would you gentlemen like a tour?\" The receptionist asked. The duo said yes at the same time. She spoke into the intercom. Soon, a man who looked a lot like Javalynn walked out.\n\n\"Welcome, gentlemen, to the Korone Automotive Museum.\" The man said. His name tag read Woxres. He saw the grease on Suki's hands. \"I'm guessing you two met my sister across the highway.\" The duo nodded and smiled. \"Well, whereas cars go to die there, cars go to thrive here.\" His voice was smooth and a little light. He had a very slight southern twang. \"That's alright, we don't need the...\" Haji said while making a strange gesture with his hands. Woxres sighed as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. \"A lot of my friends are rednecks. You don't have to pretend for us.\" Suki said with a smile.\n\n\"Thank god!\" Woxres said, clapping his hands together once. \"Call me Woxxie.\" He offered a handshake. The two introduced themselves as they shook hands. \"Right, so, this museum is something my sister started in 1997. It started with one car - this one right here.\" He motioned to a 1949 Buick four-door. It was surprisingly rusty, had only three hubcaps, and looked as if it still got driven regularly. \"This was my first car. I was 14, Javvie was 20. When we were driving home from buying it back in 1990, she told me, 'Woxxie, one day, we're gonna have a big building full of old cars.\" As Woxxie continued the backstory, Suki spoke to Haji in English. \"So... with the Preservation Act being a thing... what are even in museums?\" \"Vintage builds, 'famous' builds, race cars, low-production cars.\" Haji explained.\n\n\"...And every room is themed. This room houses the first 10 cars we acquired for the museum - and the only aircraft. I'll show you around - feel free to ask questions.\" Wox said smugly. \"Why don't you start with the plane?\" Suki asked. \"Absolutely. This is a 1959 Cessna 172. It was the first single-engine aircraft to fly a lap around Rayken. The feat was accomplished in 42 hours back in 1964. The craft then remained in private hands. We acquired it recently when it came up for auction.\" The craft was in pretty nice shape - it had probably gotten a paint job within the last 5-10 years.\n\n\"This is the second vehicle we acquired for the museum. 1928 Denton Sedan. Purchased new by a town doctor; those who knew him said that he 'could outdrag the moonrunners' when out on a call. We found it in a barn for 4,500 credits.\" The car's paint was matted black, but it was in pretty good condition. The more Suki looked around, the more he realised that not one of these cars was showroom new. This wasn't like any Earth museum. This is patina preservation at its finest. The museum tour lasted four hours. Haji got a little bored, but Suki had a twinkle in his eyes the whole time.\n\nBy the time they left, Gristi had pulled his car up. \"Well, y'all saved yourself from being dragged around in a grocery store. Got my shopping done when you was in there. Still wanna hit the town?\" He asked in English. Suki nodded. Haji rolled his eyes, but he had to stick with Suki. It's what he got paid to do. The three got into the car, and Gristi headed into town. This side of town was mostly suburban, dotted with a couple of parks. The very brutalist brick high school was located on this side of town, built in 1930, according to the plaque on the front. The city followed the same new-old-oldest format as many others on Ergon - 1950s outskirts, with a colonial interior sandwiching Victorian buildings.\n\nDowntown had a large park in a square in front of the courthouse - similar to many towns in the American Southeast. The commercial buildings downtown were smaller and simpler than in Dukungo. Mostly boxy one- or two-storey buildings with some hitting three. They were all mom-and-pop shops. City Hall was a Spanish colonial-style building with a single towering spire in the middle and a notable lack of a rotunda.\n\nAbout a kilometre north of downtown was the rail line. It was three tracks wide and was flanked by about 10 metres of grass on either side, with a road running alongside the tracks on the other side of the green. It was a railfan's dream - there were no stop signs on the road, and only the north/south roads had stop signs. Gristi pulled up on the road - only the south side allowed parking, the north side was lined with no parking signs. The three got out of the car. \"You mentioned you wanted to find a place for railfans - this is one of the best places in the country for that. This is a main line. About... 100 klicks that way is where this line meets the HSR line.\" Gristi said, pointing to the West. \"There's a huge railyard in the next town over, about 20 klicks that way.\" He pointed East.\n\nThe crossing barriers looked old - like the ones you might find on a vintage Lionel model train layout. \"There's a train station on the East and West ends of town. That's where the town's commercial districts are.\" Gristi said before motioning to the North. \"There's more suburbs out this way. The city's original Victorian-style middle school is also on this side of town. Beyond that, it turns into farm land.\" Suki looked to Haji and nodded. \"We already know a mechanic in town, and if we can buy that happening bar and renovate it? Whoa. Two out of three right there.\"\n\n\"Say, are there any sporting goods stores in town?\" Haji asked Gristi. Gristi clapped his hands and was about to get into his car when a train sounded its horn. It sounded distinct and very old. Gristi turned around and walked to the sidewalk on the North side of the road. The duo followed him. Gristi pulled a DSLR camera from his backpack. It was some Ergonian brand that was equipped with a 15-400mm lens. There were quiet zones, which were employed in Preztiag and Dukungo, but the Ergonian government requires a train horn to be sounded every kilometre in a quiet zone, which was denoted by a crossing without barriers. There was one about 4 blocks east of the group - it had Griswold-style signs guarding the crossing.\n\n\"It's a GG1.\" Gristi didn't need to check a timetable or even his watch. The locomotive's distinct horn was enough for him to tell. \"This thing's gonna blow our doors off. It should be going full tilt by the time it reaches us, unless someone has a flag stop at the other station. It'll be on the Northernmost track, that's the only electrified track.\" The train came into view as a singular headlight in the distance. It accelerated pretty fast for something so large and heavy. The horn cadences - the same pattern used in the USA - got closer. The train was upon them in about three minutes. Gristi took lots of photos as it passed. It rocketed by - it was going 160 kp/h, and all you could hear were the wheels whirring by and the clickety-clack of the track. Dust trailed the streamlined locomotive and its 10 passenger cars. \"We good?\" Suki asked as the train became distant again. \"There should be a grain manifest on track 2 in twelve minutes...\" Gristi said. Haji took him by the collar back to the car.\n\nGristi begrudgingly took them to the town's sporting goods store, which was on the Northwest side of town. It was located on a river. The sign read, \"KAMIKAZE BIKE SHOP (and other sporting goods).\" The trio got out of the car. \"Ken is kind of... out there. But she's a good soul.\" They walked inside. I Wish You Were a Beer by Cycle Sluts from Hell played over the shop's muzak. Then they saw her.\n\nThe shop's purveyor was a broxce (an Ergonian anthro rodent) with long, messy black hair and dark brown eyes that you could only see the colour of when the light shone in them. Her fur was olive green and white with a patch of freckles on her face. Her patterns resembled a striped skunk and had a spiral swirl tail. Her skin was pale tan. She had a very masculine body and could easily be mistaken for a man (or a seeba), given how her jacket - a surplus 1940s Jaekipian Imperial Army infantryman one - added even more bulk. The flag on her shirt also helped obscure the curvature of her chest. The flag was a saltire with a large dot in the middle. The background was white, the stripes and dots were red with a blue pinstripe. There were six stars on each stripe and three in the dot - one prominently in the centre with two smaller stars flanking it. It was the flag of Weasauppen - Suki had recognised it from being flown all over town. The rest of her outfit consisted of khaki cargo pants and black combat boots. A patch on her jacket read KAMIKAZE, though she would normally just go by the Earthling \"Ken\" as that was an abbreviation of her surname. Her government name was Qamakosei Tanaken. The Weasauppens were a proud bunch. They led an insurrection when the government wanted to have them connected to the more touristy West Coast of Rayken, which led to a short conflict that resulted in Weasauppen and what would now be called Long State separating.\n\nKen looked up from the extreme sports magazine she was reading in a lounged position behind the front desk. \"Who're the fags?\" Ken asked. Suki had to imagine a keyboard in front of him to make sure she really just said that. \"Gahd\" - yep, that's right. The slur has different origins on Ergon, however. Being a language based on English (albeit not knowingly), Ergonese onomatopoeia are usually the same as in English. \"Gahhoy\" - Ergonese for \"faggot\" - was first published in an 1886 gay adult zine. The comic which the slur originates from a pirate parody called Arse Pirates. It was created by a gay man who was a real seafarer as well as a man with a scholarly interest of Earth. The comic, where a character is about to say \"got it\" before being sodomised, leaked out into the mainstream for being unintentionally hilarious, and the phrase \"gahhoy\" became weaponised by the planet's mostly-quadsexual population. Despite straight and gay sex being legal on Ergon from the beginning, quads still discriminate against the straights and gays.\n\n\"I mean you. Four eyes that's too lazy to dress himself properly but self-conscious enough to make sure his hair is straight... and spreadsheet over here.\" She had to reach for an insult for Haji as he was so... blank. She then popped open a can of... salmiak soda? Good lord, not even Lena would go that far. The brand was literally \"MASOCHISM\" - apparently, they sold a wide range of unpopular, acquired taste delicacy flavours. The music changed drastically when the Cycle Sluts song ended. Suki recognised it instantly - it was an early Shrapnelsound release. If this were a dude - which Suki falsely assumed Ken was - he would be sucking and fucking in less than five minutes from now. Ken's voice was deep and gruff, perhaps what one would think a stereotypical biker chick would sound like. There was a bit of goth chick rasp to it, and her accent was American with a slight southern twang, but also a bit of East Asian-American and African-American tinges.\n\n\"Are you a chick or a dude?\" Suki had learnt to ask. The way he said it was him attempting to be \"cool.\" Ken laughed. She stood up and lifted her shirt - she wasn't wearing a bra - and pulled her pants down a bit. Dang. \"Is this your girlfriend?\" Suki asked Gristi sarcastically. \"You think I'd fall in love with this simp?!\" Ken was suddenly speaking English. She meant \"simpleton\" and not \"desperate seeker of sex,\" though that might not have been far off. \"How did you even find this music? I didn't hear about Shrapnelsound until I was 22, and I'm from Jap--Jaekip.\" Suki sounded amazed. \"ErgoBuy is a wonderful place when you start purposefully misspelling keywords.\" Ken smiled and took another sip of her drink.\n\n\"You know this guy's a fucking alien, right, Grissie?\" There was a record scratch sound effect - some Ergonian hardcore hip-hop song had begun to play in the background. Gristi looked at Suki. \"How--\" Suki began to ask. Ken cut him off. \"Your ass has been all over the news, brother.\" She changed the channel on the TV, which was playing news about Suki's visit. \"Don't tell me all you've done so far is talk to bumpkins that don't read the news.\" \"Well, we did meet the Korones...\" Suki said. Ken laughed. \"Love those two idiots! If it wasn't for the river runnin' through my back yard, I'd live on their side of town.\" She said with a smile wide enough to park a haul truck in. \"The others we spoke to were road tripping and probably listening to mixtapes instead of the news.\" Haji interjected.\n\n\"Well... since the tongue has slipped out of the mouth... we wanna set up shop in Preztiag.\" Suki told Ken. \"We?\" Ken asked sharply. \"My friend's business empire. He has a garage, and he oversees his friends' garages, arcades, and sports shops.\" Suki explained with a smile. \"So your friend - I'm assuming from Earth because this guy looks like he doesn't know a tyre rod from a tie rod - wants to go into business with me.\" Ken recapped. \"This guy\" was, of course, Haji. \"Well, this is going to be a big project. So it won't be immediate.\" Suki explained shyly. \"Well, is dude's business' going well on Earth?\" \"Well enough for four franchises of everything.\" Suki quipped like a sassy secretary.\n\nKen stood up. \"I'm interested. Keep me posted.\" She said. \"Be sure to tell the Korones, too. They'll be our garage franchise. You guys don't even need to change the names of your businesses, and, likely, don't need to change how you run them.\" Suki said with a smile. \"So, what are you gonna do for that arcade?\" Ken asked. She was actually interested in this project. \"We're going to see about buying that happening bar outside of town.\" Suki said. Ken looked confused. \"Happening bar? I know we're a quarter-century behind Earth, but don't tell me everybody's reverted to 1950s dialects there.\" \"Strip club. He means the strip club. The Front and Centre.\" Gristi corrected. \"Thank fuck! You know the owner of that place knuckled me over once?\"\n\nThere was an awkward pause. Gristi wanted to speak but didn't know how to broach the subject. He decided to anyway. \"Did you... work there?\" He asked cautiously. Even if they were friends, he knew Ken had anger issues. \"No! Are you kidding me? I felt up one of his girls. He tried to start static and... well, he had to wear sunglasses for a week after. Blacked both his eyes.\" She said, pointing to her own. \"These tits couldn't get a 12-year-old off.\" She joked, grabbing them. \"Keith'll like you.\" Suki said to Ken.\n\nGristi took Suki and Haji back home - although they stopped at the rail line again, and got takeout on the way home. Suki got on his laptop and told his friends about who he met that day. They encouraged him. \"Haji, do I have to go home if this is mission complete?\" Suki asked. \"Hmm... I wouldn't think so. We haven't got visas figured out yet.\" Haji laughed. \"I want to go back to the cool grey crew and finish their road trip with them.\" Suki said, which made Haji smile. It disappeared quickly. \"Do you know when they finish?\" Haji asked. \"They said it'd take them a little over two weeks. They started... six days ago. So they have half their trip left.\" Suki said and sent a message. The response was decently quick - Tixi was keeping them on schedule. \"They'll be in... Yinecea? When they turn in tomorrow.\" Haji clapped in response to what Suki said. \"I'll book a flight and send your AA there.\" Haji said. Suki hugged him.\n\n-- Chapter 7: One Last Thing... --\n\nSuki exited the Yinecea airport. The Toyota AA he had been using in Eutoia was waiting for him outside. He got into it and drove to Yinecea proper. He waited for the others there. He enjoyed the ocean breeze and watching the traffic drive past. Watching the water today and a few days ago was as close to nature as he'd ever been. Yinecea was very obviously Ergon's version of Venice, including the lack of roads in the city proper. Eventually, the cool grey crew showed up and parked nearby. They got out and spoke indistinctly about finding Suki there. Tixi ran up and hugged him. They kissed.\n\n\"Still here, huh?\" Tixi said, breaking the kiss. \"Yeah. My... mission is complete, so to speak. We just need to clear some paperwork, and I'll be going back home. I don't know how much I can say, but... We'll speak again before you know it.\" Suki said with an air of sadness. \"Is this goodbye?\" Tixi asked sadly. \"Not yet. I want to go with you to Istanbul.\" Suki said. Both smiled. Tixi giggled and kissed him again. They held in an embrace. It was still kind of weird, in Suki's mind at least, that he had basically fallen in love with what is essentially a woman. But Suki didn't see Tixi as a woman. He saw her as his friend, with whom he just happened to have benefits. No different than Audrey or Colin.\n\n\"We gotta walk to the hotel.\" Zest said, putting her large hand on both of their shoulders at the same time. They followed her. Drae and Xeagan were there, too. \"This must be the most you've travelled in a while, eh, Fawnie?\" Xeagan asked Suki in Ergonese. \"I might be all travelled out by the end of this trip. I might never leave my room again. So, nothing new.\" Xeagan was surprised - not at the admission of Suki being a hikikomori, that was obvious - but that his Ergonese had improved so much in the last couple of days. He was speaking it fluently now. Xeagan began to suspect something was amiss, but she wasn't going to accuse him in public. \"If you are what I think, I'll protect you.\" Xeagan whispered in Suki's ear in English. Suki's eyes widened. He said nothing.\n\nYinecea was one of the few places on Ergon that was almost identical to how it was on Earth, due to how long Venice has survived in its mostly ancient form. They got to the hotel. Zest called a meeting in her room. \"Suki, is there something you want to tell the class?\" Zest asked him in Ergonese, teasingly. Suki thought it best that he just say it outright. \"I'm from Earth.\" \"No!\" Drae said as if he legitimately didn't expect it. Xeagan looked at him sarcastically. Everyone knew or suspected, except for him.\n\nDrae got up and smushed Suki's face. \"If he's an alien, then why does he look and feel like a dierian?\" He asked. \"Many Earthlings are just like us, Drae. It's just that the names and classifications are a bit different.\" Tixi said in an encyclopedic tone. \"Alright, femboy, prove it.\" Drae told Suki in English as he let go of his face. Suki calmly plugged his computer into the TV and opened the ErgoWiki article on his visit. The page had a bust photo of him that was taken by Haji in the palace. He stood next to the photo. \"Huh.\" Drae said.\n\nSuki spent the next few hours telling his new friends about Earth and how crap it was. He slept with Tixi again, and they headed out the next morning, now with an extra car with Suki tagging along. They continued along the coast of the Midaqueous Sea. During the trip, they revealed the name of their car club to Suki: The Steelers, named as such because all of their cars were painted steel blue, and because Zest's father worked in a steel mill when she was young. Suki called ahead and had a surprise waiting when they entered Grellis, the Ergonian version of Greece.\n\nIt was morningtime in the Ergonian version of Igoumenitsa. It was the start of the fourth day separated from Yinecea, and the 16th day of the trip for the Steelers. Suki wasn't in the hotel. He left a note for the others (he had told Tixi he had to \"run an errand\"). The note said to meet him at the marina. So they did. And when they got there, Suki was leaning on a 2000 Opel Speedster painted in Delphingrau. The colour fit right in with the others. The Steelers exited their cars. \"Damn, Suki. Where'd you get one of those?\" The Speedster was a brand-new car on Ergon, and a very popular one. \"Government contacts.\" He said with a smirk. Suki was about to live out a childhood fantasy of driving it along the Greek coast - a reference to Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 that the Ergonians wouldn't understand until the game was released there the following year. They just thought he had a fancy car, which he did. Even if he could only fit one bag of luggage and his laptop bag in the passenger seat, plus four pairs of clothes in the trunk. The rest was taken by Haji to await his arrival in Istanbul.\n\nHe got in the car and started its four-cylinder engine. It responded with a rasp. The others got back in their cars and followed him around the Grellisian coast. Suki was having the time of his life. Haji had written down all the techno stations along their route, so he was never without banging tunes for long. They went the long way through Grellis. It took them another four days to reach the equivalent of Athens and another four to reach Tavurgha, Ergon's version of Turkey.\n\nThey arrived in Costanbulgho, the Ergonian version of Istanbul, by the evening of day 25. They parked by the edge of the strait that separated Costanbulgho and Istanopul. Although the whole area was part of Istanbul on Earth, the two halves were separated on Ergon. This part of the world was, in fact, very different to Earth. When Suki looked around, there weren't any women in hijabs, nor was there the sound of prayers coming from mosques. Suki only noted the difference - but Keith would have been laughing his ass off. The only Earth religions that made it to Ergon were Christianity and Judaism (and a few Pagan beliefs that blended into general Ergonian Paganism) - Islam was nowhere to be found. Suki thought back to what Haji said about the Armenian genocide never happening on Ergon, and how small-scale wars usually were. Suki grew up in an era where Islam was frequently associated with terrorism due to Japan's support of the US after 9/11. Although his views of Muslims were of indifference and not hate (as with some of his Earthling friends), it was equally as strange to him that Islam was just... gone from this holy city.\n\n\"Hey, spacecase, you alright, mate?\" Xeagan asked. Suki said nothing. He was in the same sort of far-off, distant frame of mind as he was when he first met the Steelers. \"This is a strange place.\" He said in English, and in a monotone, matter-of-fact manner. Tixi grabbed his hand. This eased his mind some and brought him back down to earth a little. \"This city is very different on Earth.\" Suki said, sounding like Spock in Star Trek. \"One of Earth's major religions rules this town. But it's completely absent from Ergon. I won't tell you about it as your government clearly doesn't want it here. Knowing how my friends back home feel about it, one can understand as to why.\" Suki said in the same cryptic manner as a wise, old sensei.\n\nSuki sat on top of an ancient railing over the strait. Tixi joined him. \"There are things on this planet that have completely flipped my perspective on how life works. I've been awestruck with technology, been to entirely new continents and been humbled by your hospitality... but Istanbul without Islam is... this place really is another world. And that's coming from an atheist.\" He shook his head in disbelief - and to snap out of the trance. He and Tixi stood back on solid ground. \"This place is very dreamlike. Everything is the same, but different enough to feel ethereal. I mean, look at your cars.\" Suki motioned to the Steelers' cars and walked toward them. \"There are cars like this on Earth, but not this.\" He pointed at the badge on Tixi's car. \"This... whatever the fuck brand this is - it doesn't exist on Earth!\"\n\nHe began to rant about just how crazy this planet was. This was the exact overstimulation that Haji was trying to avoid by telling Suki about Ergon slowly. The same hysteria that affected the American racing driver Haji mentioned that got \"fried.\" Then, he went quiet and froze. Tixi was holding him. She shushed him gently. \"I love you... spacehead.\" Tixi whispered into his ear in Ergonese. He collapsed to his knees. She knelt to comfort him. He breathed heavily and shook. \"It's okay. Breathe.\" Tixi told him in English.\n\nHe turned to her and held her head in his hands. \"I'll get them to hook you up with a connection to Earth's internet. We can exchange daily emails - god knows the latency will be that bad.\" She hugged him. He stood up. \"I've always wanted to say this... I must go. My planet needs me.\" He did the Vulcan salute. \"Live long and prosper.\" \"Thanks. It was great meeting you.\" Xeagan said, going to hug Suki. \"Yes...\" Drae read a keyboard in his head. \"You're a good kid, Suki.\" Drae joined the hug. \"Aren't we the same age?\" Suki asked, laughing. \"Yes.\" Drae responded, snickering. Zest joined the hug, causing everyone to grunt. \"So long, space cowboy.\" She said. Suki smiled, then kissed Tixi one last time. He got in the Opel. A hi-NRG cover of Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo played over the radio. He drove off.\n\nIt was a little past nightfall when Suki and Haji landed at the Naese airport. Suki took in the views of the airport one last time and mused to himself how he might never get to board a plane from the tarmac again, or how he might not be able to get through an airport so easily again. He and Haji retrieved the AA from a cargo plane that had followed them. Suki had been driving all day, so he had Haji drive. They went through a vehicle x-ray machine and left the airport for Sarquelle. Suki put the radio on and tuned it to the techno station he found when they got there. Keep Hope Alive by The Crystal Method came on. They shared a low chuckle. Suki smiled as a tear fell down his face. He hadn't felt this... this... acceptance and camaraderie since he first met Keith a decade ago.\n\nSuki slept like a rock in his palace suite. He woke up the next morning and went about his routine. He had a weight on his shoulders, knowing he would be leaving soon. He entered Worl's office. He had one final meeting. Worl had his back turned to him again. \"So ya... thought ya... might go to the show?\" Worl sung. He swung around to face Suki and Haji once more. \"Feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow?\" Suki and Haji sat down. \"Amy would like you.\" Suki chuckled. \"Great!\" Worl said, rolling his R. \"Who's Amy? No matter!! You have been nothing but systematic in helping us improve our technology. This trip has turned out just as I had hoped it would - and I hope you feel the same!\" Suki nodded.\n\n\"I have outstanding news, Earth dierian!\" Worl bellowed. \"We got your simulator working!\" He shouted as an air horn played over a hidden speaker. \"No shot!\" Suki said with a giggling smile. \"Yes shot!\" Worl played some testing footage on a nearby television. They had even got the video game replication working. The video was of a test race in Need for Speed: High Stakes. It featured a car from the game - the Pontiac Firebird, some Ergonian sports car, a Mazda Miata and a Hot Wheels Deora II, all modelled with a game-accurate poly count. Suki smiled proudly. It was clearly his simulation and not modded game footage - when one of the racers got busted, it looked like an actual person was writing the racer a ticket.\n\n\"I'm so happy you got it working, Worl.\" Suki said. \"Me too.\" Worl said plainly. \"We should have the warp internet complete soon. We're deploying a couple of satellites to Earth to lower the latency even more. You can keep that wi-fi antenna we gave you - you'll need it to access Ergonet until we get the satellites up.\" Suki got up and hugged Worl. \"Thanks. For everything.\" He put an external hard drive on the desk - it was the same one that the government had given back after they got the simulator code transferred. \"My journal entries. That should give my ErgoWiki page some new citations.\" Suki smiled and turned to leave. \"Oh, and that Toyota you built for me? I'll pay you for it. I know just where you can take it to.\"\n\n-- Chapter 8: Presents of Mind --\n\nSuki got back home on Earth safely. The day after he did, he went to Audrey's house. He had a present for him. He walked up to the door and knocked on it. Audrey swung the door open, picked Suki up and squeezed him. Suki's back cracked. At least, Audrey hoped it was his back. \"So, did you get probed?\" Audrey asked teasingly as he rubbed Suki's ear. \"Maybe.\" Suki giggled. \"I got something for you.\" Suki ran back to his car, which was his usual Lexus - I mean, Toyota.\n\nSuki set the gift-wrapped present on Audrey's coffee table. It was pretty large - about 18 inches long, 15 inches wide and 10 inches tall. It was wrapped in floral wrapping paper full of Ergonian fruit-bearing plants. Audrey unwrapped it surprisingly methodically for someone of his demeanour, carefully pulling tape off and tearing along the lines. It was a grey Sterilite tote. Audrey's eyes met Suki's. They both smiled at each other. Audrey popped the top of the tote off. It was full of factory-sealed diecast toy cars. They were packed into the tote in the same manner that Mattel's factories packed them in. But there were more than just Mattel cars in the totes.\n\n\"Man, this must have cost a fortune.\" Audrey said, looking over the tote and not knowing where to start. \"I think it was about 3,780 credits.\" Suki said nonchalantly. Audrey's eyes widened. \"That's $40, silly.\" Suki giggled and smiled. Audrey let out a relieved whistle. He loved being gifted diecast from his friends, but felt bad if they paid too much for them. Suki broke the ice and pulled out two of the cars. They were the exact same release - a 2001 Hot Wheels First Editions MS-T Suzuka - but one was almost identical to the Earth release, and one had a package with only Ergonese writing on it.\n\n\"Uh, what language is this, exactly?\" Audrey asked confusedly. \"Ergonese.\" Suki said. \"They only have one language.\" Suki pointed out all of the letters of Hot Wheels on the card. \"Can you... pull out the next cars for me? Stephanie always does that for me when I get new cars.\" Audrey said in a surprisingly meek manner. Suki nodded and smiled. He pulled out another car. It was a dead-mint Johnny Lightning Custom Spoiler in red. It was a common casting, but it looked like an original 1970 release. \"No fucking shit!\" Audrey said. It looked like his soul left his body when he took the card from Suki. \"Where'd you find this?!\" He said, exasperated. \"Some department store. All these are from the same one. I tried to grab a variety of cars.\" Suki said.\n\n\"So this is brand new?!\" Audrey asked. Suki nodded. He took the card and pointed to the bottom of the cardback. Suki read it aloud. \"© 2001 Playing Mantis, Inc. Mishkeena, FY. MADE IN CIAOSHEN\" It was the same copyright notice that the 1990s re-releases of the 1970s cars had, but Ergonified. Suki pointed to another line of text next to the copyright notice. It was a serial number. Suki read it for him. \"2001 02 16... Y means it's from the Topper line, and the rest is the sequence number. So this was the 487th car made in that line that day. All companies are required to print the date of manufacture in the serial number to aid in the event of a recall and to avoid fraud in the second-hand market. The serial numbers are required to be put on the packaging and the product itself.\" Suki pointed out the same serial number on the bottom of the car. \"Can't you just... scrape that off and defraud people?\" Audrey asked. \"The same way you can remove the VIN off a car or file off the serial number off of a gun to defraud people.\" Suki said. Oh. That makes sense.\n\n\"So... are Toppers just... worthless?\" Audrey asked, setting the car aside with the other. \"Not really, no. Ones with the original 1969-1971 serial numbers are still valuable. After that, they were bought out and produced by the government - that's the Preservation Act at work.\" Suki explained to Audrey the same way as Haji had explained him. \"Rad.\" Audrey said. Suki took out another car, this one was a Matchbox. He handed it to Audrey. \"What fucking casting is this?\" Audrey scrutinised the car. \"That is a 1998 Takagegi Mossoko GTi.\" Suki told him as if Audrey was supposed to know what that meant. The car was a sport compact painted in a metallic white colour, with a dark grey stripe on the side reading \"GTi.\" Audrey looked as if he had lost the plot.\n\n\"I'm guessing this is some Oregonian car that no Earthling has ever seen before?\" Audrey asked, although it was almost a statement. Suki nodded. \"So there are... Pull out another one.\" Audrey began to ask, but switched to instructing firmly midway through. Suki pulled out a Majorette car, a Nissan 300 ZX. \"Okay. Got it. Ergon has its own cars, but also those from Earth.\" Audrey said as if he was trying to keep himself grounded. Then Suki hit him with the Eagle from Carmageddon in a Hot Wheels package. It looked to be from the 100% line. \"Well. That's a new spin on 'adult collectable.\" Audrey said as he set it with the others.\n\n\"This one is special!\" Suki said, failing to hide his excitement. He pulled out another car. It had a slightly different packaging design. It had a round, offset hook that let the car dangle from the pegs while staying upright. It had a push tab on the plastic blister like a Matchbox car would. The car was another Ergonian design. Audrey didn't recognise the brand logo. \"What... is it?\" Audrey said, curiously inspecting the case. \"They're called Zipptraks. Spelt with two P's and no C. They came out in 1970 as a response to Hot Wheels. They were the sole other survivor of the low-friction boon. They're a subsidiary of the Ermini Corporation, which was the first diecast car company native to Ergon. I got every Ermini and Zipptrak they had, which accounts for half of this tote.\" Suki said and started pulling them out two, three, four at a time. Audrey was overwhelmed in the best way. \"Erminis became the cheaper, more kid-friendly, more durable line from them.\" Suki said as he continued to take cars out.\n\n\"This is one of their premiums. I only got one of them because they were $5 a piece.\" Suki handed Audrey a highly detailed casting of some Ergonian pony car. \"Guess when that line came out.\" Suki said as he continued fishing Erminis out. \"Eh, nineteen ninety... eight? I would guess, to compete with Playing Mantis.\" Audrey said, inspecting the car. \"1974.\" Suki said. \"No.\" Audrey said in disbelief. \"The Ergonians are trustworthy. They wouldn't lie about that.\" Suki said. \"So you're telling me... right in the middle of the diecast crash... these fuckos come out with Johnny Lightning 20 years early?!\" Audrey asked as he ate the scenery. Suki nodded. \"How the fuck did they do that?!\" Audrey continued. \"The government makes these.\" Suki told. \"That's how important cars are to those people.\" Suki put the last of the Ermini cars out. Thirty of them were piled up on the coffee table. \"They only make Ergonian cars, as you can probably tell.\"\n\n\"These are super cool.\" Suki said. He pulled out a Lexus SC 400 with Hot Wheels branding, but it was in a 1960s-style package and had a candy blue paint job and removable wheels. It even included a \"collector button.\" \"This was $3.29.\" Suki didn't have to explain the car to Audrey. It was a modern Hot Wheels car built the same as they were in 1968. The cars were marketed on Ergon as the Spectraflame series. \"Fuck, that's cool. As you said, I suppose.\" Audrey said.\n\nSuki pulled out a little yellow box with Matchbox branding (in Ergonese). \"These were a lot cheaper. But I spent most of my budget on Erminis.\" Audrey took the car out of the box. It was an Opel Omega B with opening front doors and a trunklid. It had simple black wheels with \"mushroom cap\" axles on a flat chassis like an early Matchbox car would. Audrey was sent for a loop - either by such a modern car being in such an antiquated style, or because the Omega was never made by Matchbox, despite it being perfect for the brand. I mean, they released a Vectra A in 1990 after all.\n\nThe last two were bigger boxes. \"This one cost as much as that Eagle, but it was just too cool.\" Suki took out a Dinky Toys model of a Citroen Xsara. \"Dude.\" Audrey said, holding the box. He gently took it out of the box. Audrey was amazed by how on point the models were, both in quality and the choice of models to replicate. He began to get the same \"alternate universe/dream\" vibe that Suki experienced almost constantly on Ergon. Suki pulled the last box out. It was a 5-pack of Micro Machines. It was a cross-promotion with Need for Speed: High Stakes and featured five cars from the game, replicated in the classic, original 1987 level of detail. \"I might have bought one of these for myself. That was about five bucks.\" Suki said with a smile.\n\nAudrey looked at his coffee table full of diecast. Suki sat by him. Audrey shook his head and smiled, before giving Suki a big kiss. Audrey loved his imported diecast, so he was as happy as a peach. \"Oh!\" Suki left the house quickly, as if he had left the gas on at home. He returned with another present. It looked like another diecast car, but this one was individually wrapped. Suki gave it to Audrey. He carefully unwrapped it. It was a 4\" action figure packaged with a highly detailed 1/64 scale car. It was made by Ermini and had Action Racing League branding. The driver was Hroxx K'lar, according to the packaging.\n\n\"I know you're not into action figures, but this one looked cool.\" Suki said meekly as he sat down next to Audrey. \"That's fine... this is cool.\" Audrey said, inspecting the box. \"I love the presentation. Very Gen X.\" He said. \"There's something else related to that that I was allowed to have. But it's top secret, understand?\" Suki said. Audrey nodded. Suki pulled a VHS tape from his hoodie's pocket. It had a plain black sleeve with a cut-out for the label. The label read \"ARL PROMO 2001 :60\" in Ergonese. Suki turned the living room TV and VCR on. He put the tape in and hit play.\n\nIt was the same promo that Ketarca had shown Suki earlier. The two were silent as the tape played, and for a few moments after it stopped. Suki went to rewind the tape. \"Fuck.\" Audrey said. \"When can I watch that?!\" He bellowed. \"It's supposed to be a secret. Ugh. I knew I shouldn't have brought the tape... Well...\" Suki said, taking the tape out of the VCR. \"This September, they're gonna run the first season of the ARL to be held on Earth. I can get you tickets.\" Suki said to Audrey as he gave him the tape. Audrey gave him a big kiss. \"You mean the world to me, kid.\" Audrey told Suki. \"Love you, too. Big dork.\" Suki smiled back.\n\n-- Epilogue: Crush on Me --\n\nBack on Ergon, Woxres found a spot for the AA in his museum. He was writing its story down in a notebook. Across the street, Zest and Xeagan were filming a video in Ergonese. \"Well, guys, what do you think? I've been telling you for years that I'd get access to a scrapyard for some crushes.\" Zest said to the camera as she walked through the scrapyard. \"What mark are we looking for, again?\" Xeagan asked. \"A big X on the roof.\" \"Like this?\" Xeagan had come upon a little blue 3-door hatchback that had its rear end smashed in. The axle was snapped in half. Xeagan ripped the passenger door - which was already buckled - clean off of its hinges. Zest cheered for her. Xeagan threw the door down as if it didn't weigh any more than an empty cardboard box.\n\nZest gave Xeagan the camera. \"So, yeah, this is a great opportunity for us... and you.\" Zest said as she climbed on top of the car. \"The owner says we can rig and 'play with' any of the cars they have marked for crushing.\" Zest said before jumping ass-first onto the roof of the little car. It didn't fully collapse like a \"rigged\" car would, but she left a big, bear-shaped dent. \"Thanks for watching, guys. We hope to see you soon.\""
}
profile.api.json · CAS artifact Download
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